Graduation
“What are you dragging me to your portal for, Twilight?” Anon asked, sighing. Twilight looked back at him with a wide grin. Her hair was frazzled and unkempt. Anon silently broke into a squee and fought every urge to hug her like a stuffed animal. It was getting harder since he started those lessons a few weeks ago. He really started to settle into the cute chaos that made up his everyday life.
“Okay, first, don’t be mad.” Twilight prefaced. Anon raised an eyebrow. “I maybe told Spike to sneak away from your phone for a while, but it was so I could surprise you!” Anon sighed, now understanding why Spike needed to borrow his camera for “something”, as he put it.
“Okay, you got it.” Anon accepted he’d been bamboozled. “Now, what’s the surprise?” Twilight trotted to the mirror portal and magically manipulated numerous parts as she explained.
“Well, I was practicing new spells with Starlight when I realized there I could use a spell that returns an object to its owner in conjunction with a time spell. By using the two spells, I can send your phone back in time.”
“Wait.” Anon interrupted. “Why send my phone back in time?”
“I’m glad you asked!” Twilight exclaimed, rolling out a chalkboard and drew as she explained. “You see, time and space are intrinsically connected. When you move back in time, you also move in space. They are relative to one another. So, if we send your phone back in time, it will also move to where it was in that position in time. If I then use the mirror portal to locate your cellular device, it can connect you back to your home!” She shoved the chalkboard and lit up her horn, activating the machine.
“Okay, Einstein.” Anon scoffed. “That sounds like a bunch of fake science in conjunction with bullshit magic. You can’t possibly expect this to work, right? I mean, if it was that easy-“ Anon was interrupted by the portal suddenly exploding with light as the portal activated suddenly. Anon had to shield his eyes in defense. Twilight meanwhile kept her eyes glued to the process with bated breath. After a while, the portal slowly dimmed. Anon opened one eye, curious if he had gone blind.
What Anon saw left him in disbelief. Reflected back at him wasn’t his image. It was his phone. Sitting on a charger within his dorm room. The room was still. That was, until Twilight started jumping for joy.
“I did it!” Twilight screamed, pronking about like Pinkie would. “I’ve mastered the power of inter-dimensional travel! Just wait until Starswirl hears about this!” She faced Anon, eyes wide with excitement and discovery. She had expected that Anon would be baffled, sputtering to understand how something so crazy would actually work. Instead, she saw that Anon still stood with a frown and a stare of disbelief still.
“Anon?” She asked, tempering her emotions. “Is everything okay?” Anon seemed to have awakened from a deep thought.
“Oh, uh, yeah.” Anon’s voice was much lower than it usually was, as if he was still in thought. “Um, do you know what happens if I go through that.” Twilight put a hoof to her chin.
“I...don’t know.” Twilight finally answered. “The statue at Canterlot High was the gateway for Sunset Shimmer. It had some rules, such as closing for 30 moons at a time. I don’t know what is serving as the gateway now, or if it has similar rules.”
“So,” Anon started, then hesitated. Twilight was beginning to see Anon’s face contort in thought. “If I pass through, I may not be able to come back?”
There was nothing but silence for a moment.
“Anon, I’m...I’m sorry.” Twilight stared at the ground. “I thought you would’ve wanted to know as soon as possible. You don’t have to go right now!”
“I know, I know.” Anon answered defensively. “It’s just...Eh, nevermind.”
“No, Anon.” Twilight stood a little straighter. “Something’s clearly on your mind. You can tell me.”
Anon looked back at the portal, a portal to home. The feeling Anon felt reminded him of that French term he learned. L'appel du vide, the call of the void. The inexplicable impulse to walk into traffic or jump off a ledge, for no discernible reason. Anon could see himself forcing himself through, consequences be damned. He felt his hand suddenly pressed against something heavenly soft. He looked down to see Twilight’s mane under his hand. She looked up at him. Her face, though alien, was somber.
“Anon. We’re friends, right?” She asked.
That was the last thing Anon remembered. The next conscious thought was him laying in bed, staring blankly at nothing. He assumed he did something dramatic, like pulled his hand away, backed away slowly, then ran away. Or, maybe he just excused himself to the bathroom and left, betraying her trust. Anon didn’t care to really think about it.
“Well, this is most curious.” A voice echoed around him. Anon shot out of bed, grabbing his bat at the side of his bed. “This usually never works.”
“Yo, I got a bat and I’m in a bad mood. That’s a recipe for making bad decisions.” Anon declared, readying to swing at the omnipresent voice.
“Fear not, Anonymous!” The voice called out. Anon tried to pinpoint whose it could be, but failed to come up with any. “I have come to ease thy fears, upon my sister’s request.”
“Sister?” Anon asked, before he noticed the room around him shimmering. The walls began to fall around him, revealing a vast and infinite void. Something churned in Anon’s stomach, so he went to sit back on his bed...only to fall on his ass. It didn’t hurt however, as he couldn’t really feel any sensation. He looked up to the sky and saw a moon hovering over him, impossibly close, yet equally as far. “Oh what is this bullshit?”
“I assure thou, there is no bovine stool here.” A voice called from the moon. A figure descended from the glowing orb down to the same plane that Anon sat dumbfounded. Before him was a horse that looked eerily similar to Celestia, only smaller and a dark blue. “I am Princess Luna. We have met before, haven’t we?”
“Yeah, that meeting from way back.” Anon recalled, laying down completely on the floor. “Honestly, I try to forget about that whole thing. Wasn’t my proudest moment.” Luna sat beside Anon, conjuring a set of pillows for both of them to rest upon.
“You are a difficult one to get a hold of.” Luna commented. “Since that night, I have tried to contact thou through the realm of dreams. However, I find that thou’s unique mind is difficult to enter by means of magic. Thou is quite resistant.”
“Are you really going to keep saying thou, and only thou?” Anon deadpanned. Luna chuckled.
“Ah, it was fun while it lasted!” She remarked, dropping the old language and accompanying accent. “So, Anonymous, why is thou-I mean, why are you so down.”
“How can you tell what I’m feeling?” Anon sat up on his elbows. “As you said, you shouldn’t even be here.”
“Indeed.” Luna agreed. “Yet, here I am at last. I could always sense a darkness within your mind. Ever persistent it was. Perhaps it is that same darkness that has allowed me to enter, driving so low as to drop your magical defenses.”
“You don’t actually know, do you?” Anon glared.
“Indeed, I do not. It is mere conjecture.” Luna scooted closer to Anon. “Still, I wish to help you. Celestia worries for her pupils and you are no different.” Anon huffed and turned on his tide, showing his back to the alicorn.
“She won’t have to worry long. I’m going back home soon.” Anon answered.
“Does this bother you?” Luna teleported to face him again.
“I’ve got nothing more to say.” Anon rolled over again. Luna sighed.
“She warned me of this, you know.” Luna stood back up onto her legs.
“That’s very responsible of her.” Anon retorted. “Look, I’m not in the mood for any more lessons. Far as I can tell, school’s out. I’m done.”
Luna stood over Anon as he continued to lie silently, patiently waiting for the alicorn princess to give up and cut her losses. However, Anon his patience short as he groaned and stood up. Instead of facing her, he walked away from her toward the unknown edges of the void.
“Where do you hope to go, Anonymous?” Luna called out to him.
“Anywhere but here!” Anon shouted back defiantly. He kept walking. And walking. And walking. After what felt like hours, he turned around, only to see Luna in the same spot she was in.
“Do you know where we are, Anonymous?” Luna asked him.
“Not in Kansas?” Anon asked sarcastically. “How the hell would I know?!”
“We are in that darkness in your mind.” Luna explained. “Usually, I find myself walking in the dreams of other ponies. In their dreams, I see what they fear, what they like, what they aspire to be.”
“You’re point?” Anon tapped his foot on the ethereal ground.”
“We are supposed to be in your dream, Anonymous.” Luna continued. “However, there is nothing here. You are not dreaming. Everything is shrouded in darkness, like a blanket laid over your entire world.”
“Yeah. News flash.” Anon began walking back to Luna. “Humans sometimes don’t have dreams. Dreams aren’t some “gateway to the soul” or some mystical shit. They are an attempt by your brain to exercise it’s basic functions such as problem solving, memory consolidation and emotional regulation. Since you’re using your horse magic to invade my brain, I’m not doing any of that, am I?”
“So, what do you believe is happening then?” Luna asks.
“I’ll tell ya’ and it’s the same reason you weren’t invading sooner.” Anon started to pace. “I don’t belong here! I don’t follow the same rules as you do. I can’t fly and I can’t use magic. I was never supposed to be here, so you’re magic was never supposed to work!”
Luna noticed that as Anon talked, something began to push up against her flank. It felt like a wall, but it wasn’t one that she could see.
“So, yeah. That’s why it doesn’t work. It’s also why I have to go. Who knows what’s gonna happen if I stay? Maybe nothing! Maybe I’ll actually live a stress free life, you know? With friends that, while annoying, give me something that I never felt at home! I never had something like what I had here and now I have to go back? It’s not fair!”
The invisible walls continued to close in, pushing the two closer together. Although Anonymous was none the wiser.
“Do you even know what it’s like over there? For someone like me? I could be sitting in a cafe and someone tells me I have to leave. I could be driving down the street and be pulled over on suspicion of a drug charge. I could be arguing with someone and they decide to threaten the police on me in order to run me off. I could be applying for a job and turned down just for what I look like! I could be robbed for my possessions just for being at the wrong place at the wrong time! I could be shot, stabbed, heartbroken, ran over, raped, starved, abandoned, lied to, beaten, manipulated, anything you could imagine! And I would have no control over that.”
The walls had boxed them in, leaving them no room to move. Anon slid down one of the walls, looking down dejectedly and tired.
“Equestria is a utopia by comparison. You may have the odd villain, but from what I see, there is no war. There is no famine. There is no oppression. Anything bad that happens, you ponies seem to have an answer. You have control over everything in your lives and can ensure a future for not just yourselves, but everyone. You love unconditionally. There is no reason that I should’ve been here and no reason any of you should’ve cared.”
Anon tried to stifle it, rubbing his eyes and squeezing them close. But he couldn’t stop it. The tears fell and he broke completely. Anon cried.
“I don’t want to go home!”
It had been a solid half hour. Luna sat beside Anonymous and wrapped a wing around him. Anon, in turn, embraced Luna. He had been bawling into her barrel, muffling his cries in her chest. Anon felt weak and it only made him cry out harder. He felt pathetic, that he had succumbed to such a world, so sugary and saccharine.
This wasn’t home. It couldn’t be home. This wasn’t where his family was. As much as he loathed everything about home, it wasn’t like he could just run from it, could he? Even if he were to run away and stay here, why should he be the one who gets to leave all that behind. There were plenty on Earth who suffered, arguably more than him. So why does he get to be the one pulled into paradise.
As each thought raced through his mind, Anon could faintly hear something slowly growing in his ears. The more he focused, suppressing his thoughts in the process, the more he could make out what it was. It was a lullaby. Anon could tell it was Ponish, but it was also something much older. It was hypnotizing and Anon couldn’t help but listen. Even the world’s music held sway over him and though he tried to fight against and wallow further in his pity, the lullaby would not let him. Luna’s beautiful voice began to echo through the void.
Anon’s grip on Luna lessened as he relaxed, listening to the alien tune. The crying had stopped, but the sniffling did not. Regardless, Anon felt better than he had before. He was of course lying in Luna’s soft fur and her feathered wings had wrapped around him so gently. Anon’s eyelids loosened, no longer held tightly. His breath became more measured, the hyperventilating having ceased. Soon, Anon was nothing more than a sleepy child in the arms of their mother. It was only then Luna stopped singing and spoke.
“I, too, know what it”s like to be alone.” She whispered. “The Equestria you see must be such a lovely place, but I’m afraid it only exists in your dreams. We have our share of hardship. We’ve had emperors who enslaved entire kingdoms, ages of chaos and disharmony. There was even a time where there were such things as prejudice. One may argue that even now, us ponies still hold them. Even I have done things that I still regret to this day, Anonymous.”
As Luna spoke, she stroked Anon’s body with her wing. He unconsciously nuzzled against her, submitting to the pampering.
“That is why friendship is so important. To ground ourselves and look at things for what they are, as well as what they can be.” Luna looked down to Anon, who still frowned. “Celestia is proud of you, you know? The girls often write about you and your eccentricities, but more importantly, your successes. You make her feel that she is still capable of teaching as she once had. And I can say that she has done a fine job with you, as I can see.” That was enough to get Anon to blush and grunt disapprovingly, to which Luna chuckled.
“That doesn’t change the fact that I don’t want to go…” Anon admitted.
“Why do you think you have been tasked to learn friendship?” Luna asks, using a wing to lift Anon’s face toward hers. Anon averted his eyes anyways.
“To better integrate with pony society, I guess.” Anon answered, to which Luna shook her head.
“You speak ill of your world.” Luna responded. “If you are so frustrated with how it works, don’t you think you should change it.” Anon attempted to push off of Luna, but instead only drew himself deeper into her softness.
“Greater men than I have tried to change the world and failed, at least in my eyes.” Anon mumbled. Luna chuckled again.
“I do not mean the world at large, Anonymous.” Luna again tried to make Anon look at her. This time, he complied. “I mean your world. Friendship need not die here, Anonymous. You have shown yourself capable of forging connections with those who you have said have no reason to connect with you. If you can do that, surely you can find friends back home. Those friends will ground you, inspire you, and yes, at times annoy you. But, once you find them, and you will find them, the darkness will leave your mind. And when it comes back and threatens to claim you again, your friends will still be there to love you and drive it away, again and again.”
Anon remained silent, taking in her words like a breath of fresh air. He pulled himself off her barrel and smiled at her, sadly but still warm. He returned his appreciation with an ear scratch, to which Luna happily accepted with a giggle. Anon’s smile briefly fell as one thought still cling to him, weighing him down.
“But why me?” He asked. “Why was I the one who ended up here in Equestria? There are so many other people who deserve this more than I.”
“Perhaps you are asking the wrong question.” Luna suggested. “Instead of asking “Why you?”, is it not better to ask “Why not you?” Anon was about to protest, before a hoof was pressed to his lips.
“Life is unpredictable, no matter the world you come from.” Luna continued. “Perhaps there is a greater purpose and perhaps there is not. Why would these things matter? What I think matters is that you enjoy this opportunity. It matters not if you deserve it, it matters what you do with it.”
Luna again wrapped Anon in a hug. Anon hugged back, accepting the embrace one last time. Anon felt as though a burden had been lifted, if only temporarily. That didn’t matter right now, Anon could see that. This hug was something to enjoy for the moment.
“I believe it is about time I go.” Luna announced, unwrapping her wings and standing. Anon silently mourned the end of the hug, but stood up as well, meeting her gaze. “I still have a night shift to work and you have a visitor.”
“Wait, a visitor?” Anon asked. Just then, he heard that all too familiar sound.
Knock, knock, knock.
Anon lurched up in panic, frantically looking around the room. He was, in fact, in his room in Ponyville. He sighed in relief, then puzzled himself on how he could’ve been asleep when he felt so awake and lucid. The continued knocking soon broke that train of thought and forced him out of bed. He quickly dressed himself and answered the door.
“Sup, Anonymous!” Spike greeted him, short and round as ever.
“Sup?” Anon repeated. “Who the hell taught you to say “Sup?”
“Uh, you did?” Spike answered, puzzled that he had to at all. Anon scratched the back of his neck.
“Oh, uh, yeah.” He awkwardly responded. “Guess that means I’m rubbing off on you, huh?”
“For better and worse.” Spike replied with a cheeky grin. Anon shot him a look, only to find himself smiling. Spike gasped before coughing into his fist. “Oh yeah, before I forget. The girls wanted me to come and get you for that welcome party Pinkie planned for you.” Anon thought about the irony of a welcome party being thrown so close to him potentially leaving and frowned a little.
“Oh, and when is that?” Anon asked cautiously.
“Oh, not for a couple hours.” Spike answered, waving a hand dismissively.
“Then why are you here, Spike?” Anon asked, growing a little agitated. To this, Spike dug at the floor with his foot. Anon finally noticed that Spike’s hands were behind his back, holding something. Spike saw that Anon was looking and pulled from behind him a stack of comic books, rolled together.
“Well, I was just thinking,” Spike started, seemingly embarrassed. “Maybe we can, I dunno, read a couple comics together? I mean, we never did get to rid them that night you visited Twilight.” Spike looked up at Anon with hopeful eyes, sparkling in the same way the ponies do. Anon shook his head and sigh.
“I wonder if you’re sometimes more pony than dragon.” Anon replied. Spike’s smile began to fade as he heard the statement. He turned and tried to walk away, only to be suddenly picked up by Anonymous and placed on his shoulders. “That only makes you more of a damned sweetheart. Let’s finish a couple issues.”
“Alright!” Spike cheered, pumping a fist in the air. The two shared a fist bump.
“You know, I’ve been thinking.” Anon said, as he prepared the close the door. “I think it’s about time I give you a gift of my own, Spike.”
Spike tilted his head. “And what would that be?”
“Well…” Anon grinned a devilish grin. “Let me tell you about a little thing called an N-Word Pass!”
Anon’s Friendship Lessons
Final Grade? Equivalent to the quality of this fanfic.
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Spike just received the greatest of gifts, The elusive and coveted N-word pass.
this chapter's been emotionally charged with... let's just say "recent events", hasn't it?
Definitely the best possible ending, go Spike
Ah man it’s over? This was a damn good fic, I say Anon gets an A+. Also will there be a sequel?
remember spike, with great power comes great responsibility.
i doubt that he will care lol
Hahaha! The ending is funny
I enjoy this. With everything going on I am happy this is a little bit of an escapism for people.
10261855
Yup. I had very coping mechanisms, so here’s what I did.
10261871
Get jebaited
10261878
I plan on writing a lot more stories. Now, planning is different from actually doing, but I am planning. Not like there’s school or anything to worry about now.
I'm glad he called off the stupid "Friendship Lesson" shit they were forcing on him. All of that says to me that HE is the one wrong and a bad person, and that Celeztia is ordering him to learn to not be bad. All this when it is the reverse and when he originally went into town andcwhen he saved ponyville from attack it was the ponies themselves that didn't care for him and didn't want to be his friends. If they had said it was them all getting a second chance to earn Anon's friendship it would be better and feel less demeaning. Overall the Mane 6 were pretty nice and woukd make good friends from how things went, save Pinkie Pie it feels like she basically did more of the same thing she did when Anon first went to town, but got away with it and made Anon give in and say she is great because Celestia ordered hom into all this and Pinkie cried until he did what she wanted.
The part about not going back I didn't like, but also feel highly conflicted about that. Its highly obvious you are affected more about current events than me, my thoughts on Anon staying/going are more based on how he hasn't been welcome for very long and it still seems to me that ponies don't accept him except a handful, and him going home would mean he is returning to a life where he has a support structure and is accepted by society even if that society has obvious problems.
Regardless, I liked the story.
10262073
typo: I can’t fly andI can’t use magic.
10262136
Glad you did. Not gonna lie, it was hard to tell sometimes. For what it’s worth, I’ve definitely tried to use your critics as a guide for my writing, as I try with all others. How successful I am is ultimately for y’all to decide.
10262156
Oh and went ahead and fixed it
Verra good mate, the emotion is palpable.
This was fucking amazing.
So anon was woolie all along
Stay safe :)
He is giving spike the black stamp of approval. (Vanoss reference)
This was a pretty good story. It had a lot of humor and heart and I want more. Well done!
10262373
Shhhhh, that’s spoilers
The... the N-Word pass? My god. Many men and women have been driven mad in persuit of that and this young drake is being given one. For free. Be proud little dude. Be proud.
You too Author. This short but sweet little jaunt was well worth the time and effort put into it.
..N-Word Pass!” .......GOD DAMNNIT WOOLIE!
Hmm...does Thunderlane get a free n-word pass?
10265047
WHENS MARVEL!!!!!!
Well frick one of the better anon stories out there
I can't tell in the photo if anon is crying or blushing
Trollestia strikes again
10271700
That is only half the image, the bottom half is him crying because the joke is he had no friends. However, I felt like the top image alone was a good cover for the story. The artist is named nobody on derpibooru.
derpicdn.net/img/2015/3/2/840317/large.png
Awesome story. Got a good eye for ponies, with AJ and Pinkie! 10/10
Good job, boyo. You did a good.
10276028
Thank you, I try my best to do a good.
With the way Anon talks, makes it feel like he's not from our modern day, but from a couple of decades back.
10281289
Given that a couple decades lands us at 2000 and I grew up around that time, that does check out.
vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/internet-meme/images/6/6e/Pogchamp.jpg/revision/latest/scale-to-width-down/340?cb=20180310053228
This is a good reason.
No control? I call bullshit.
I think this might be my favorite chapter.
10427266
I'll give it a read, thanks!
10471677
If its about pictures then should unicorns look like goat.
Your stories are good. Fairly fresh anon in Equestria fics. I give it an A.
10536145
I appreciate the comment, my guy. Looking back, it’s a rather weird line to get angry over, as it isn’t hurtful and I tried, with what little writing prowess I have, to make it come off as a joke. I’m surprised many people disagreed with me, but race relations (hehe I said the name) are rather complicated as one has to account for an entire history of interaction between two cultures and how the power imbalance between one over the other affects what one is allowed to think or say about the other.
At the end of the day, if people think it’s racist, that’s their opinion. A bad opinion based on a poor argument but an opinion I genuinely can’t do anything about. Also, given where the brony fandom came from (cough cough 4chan) it’s kinda funny people so often forget our history, as checkered as it may be, and act like the fandom was an originally wholesome and friendly community.
Tl;dr I’m still a little ‘but hurt’ at being called racist
10551559
hey no problem man, I only pointed it out cause I was enjoying it, but I read Anon stories specifically cause its easier to put myself in the shoes of a character with no set appearance and the likes. It did kinda suck to get pulled into a story thats by all means pretty good, and then get torn out, like if you were reading a second person story and suddenly the main character is revealed to be an evangelical christian but they never mention it in the description.
10552274
It’s weird that everyone sees him as religious, especially considering I’m personally agnostic. I just use the lord’s name in vain all the time.
As for getting hoodwinked into reading the story, I’m sorry that happened. Can’t really say or do more than that. I just posted a collection of stories I could call my own.
10552361
NP man, also the religion thing was just an analogy.
...
10792309
Your comment is exactly why I pointed it out in the first place. Everyone DOES care. People are always going to be angry about anything and everything; your comment itself proves that. I mentioned the fact that the line is racist because I don't want to presume anything on the author's part, but I did want to make them aware (in case they weren't already) of the fact that the line IS racist. The reason I said anything at all was so the author could improve on what they've written. I'm assuming that the author wants to improve their writing; potentially to the degree of making money off of it. If this is indeed the case, they need to remember to be careful about what they write. People will absolutely villify them for it after all, especially these days.
It also seems like you spend too much time around people who whine about inane things. Perhaps you should stop using social media. It might make you happier. Especially since there isn't such a thing as "my kind". I'm a human. I'm assuming you are too.
10792309
10792677
Guys, this story is over a year old. This argument is a year old. Can we just let it rest? At this point, you’re not even bringing about any real revelation as your arguing in the comments. I haven’t even looked at this page since I wrote it.
Go read other fanfics. It’s just not worth it.
10794012
Here's one thing I'm puzzled about. He's black (because, let's not sugar-coat it). He gets to say shit about, and in relation to, himself and his ethnicity, right? Why doesn't it end there? :D
And I don't get how some people are hyper-sensitive. Why get offended on someone else's behalf? How does that even make sense? Do they think these people are stupid or something? "Oh, my dear, you probably didn't understand: he was making fun of you. But I made it all better." Fuckin'...
And thirdly, don't people get that this is a story? >_<'' Like, characterisation, bitches? Heard of it? ...
And I'm sorry, but
stupiditylack of thought ruffles my feathers.Epilogue: Spike says the N-Word and gets anon banned off of Twitch. I can't wait!
10870357
And who is "people like you" exactly? Somewho who gives constructive critisicm? Someone who wants to see the skills of writers improve? I haven't seen anyone refute my points yet. I've only seen people complaining that I've made some points at all. The fact that people are so angry over this means that I have valid points.
You've said that I "need to stop ‘speaking’ for people who dont need to be spoken for". I must respectfully reply that you are incorrect. I made my original comment to ensure that the people who are easily offended don't come down hard on this author's story. I've seen too many stories destroyed because people with too much time on their hands bully authors until they stop writing. So I do have to speak for those who don't need to be spoken for, and I do have to talk about what I think is offensive to them.
If you don't like me doing things like this then why don't you start by changing those special snowflakes first?
10871959
Dude, it has been a year since this argument was had. We could’ve held an anniversary for this exact argument. I’ve already (mostly) given up on writing and moved on to more fulfilling ventures. I don’t know why you continue to humor this with paragraphs of text to people who might’ve even died in the amount of time this took place. And with that amount of time passed, I can say this with absolute certainty: You didn’t help anyone. I saw that comment, found it weird and informed, and ignored it. The original comment too. Nothing about that line denotes racism and since I have nothing of free time, allow me to settle it once and for all.
The original line of contention: “You being both white and a pony, you wouldn’t know the first thing about how I would dress."
Let’s break this sentence down Piece. By. Piece.
“You being both white and a pony,” here is where the first part of the joke comes in. The white is in both reference to the color of her coat and then liking that to the term “White” a term often used to describe people of Caucasian or European descent. Also, helps that her voice actress too was white.
“You wouldn’t know the first thing about how I would dress.” Here’s the second part of the joke and the one that draws ire. The assertion is that because she’s white (in coat), she is the equivalent to a Caucasian-American white woman. As such, the character also asserts that a Caucasian-American white woman could not guess what he would wear. Now, here is where this has been bugging me every time I see notifications on this damn story: Where’s the racism?. The line solely asserts that Rarity cannot judge what Avon would wear. Even factoring in the white comment, what is that supposed to imply? “White people are too stupid to guess what shirt I’m going to wear”? Why are you reading it like that?
Looking at the historical history of the relations between black and white Americans, there has always been a cultural disconnect. For example, in white dominated media, a black thug is characterized by sagging jeans, do-rags, sneakers, and the sorts. Does that mean all black people, hell, all black thugs wear these kinds of clothes? No. Even taking away any human argument, by pure statistical logic, it is impossible for every black person to wear the same thing. Furthermore, there was and is a prevailing notion that black people do not dress professionally enough and this is a contributing factor in the belief that black people are “lazy” and “up to no good”. For a digestible reading on this, you can start by reading this article last year to begin to understand the complexity of this topic.
And this all assuming this line was meant to be taken seriously. Like, that this was an assertion of fact of behalf of the character, and apparently, the author. This assuming that this was a calculated effort on the part of me, the author, to belittle another for their race. Let me emphasize this point.
Racism is the belief that groups of humans possess different behavioral traits corresponding to physical appearance and can be divided based on the superiority of one race over another
Now, look at the line again: “You being both white and a pony, you wouldn’t know the first thing about how I would dress.”
Nowhere in the line doe is suggest Rarity possess different behavioral traits. It implies ignorance, but not different behavior. Yes, there’s a correlation between physical appearance and the implication drawn but 1) She isn’t a white human and 2) even if she were, here literal appearance would not have any bearing in her judgement. And lastly, nowhere in the line is there even a hint of an implication that Avon considers himself superior (at least in regards to his race as the point of his character is that he has an undeserved ego) or see Rarity as inferior for being a pony.
And what really fucks me up is that in the subsequent scene, Avon literally shows Rarity aspects of his black human culture and begins the process of bonding over fashion! That’s not something a racist does!
Now, why did I just write all of this? Why did I see it fit to stain my story with this blogpost? Truthfully, it’s because I’m sick of seeing this shit in my inbox every time I come here and casually see what has happened in the meantime on this profile. I see this argument come back up every couple months and it aggravates me because it shows what I hate the most about online discourse. No one wants to take the time to educate themselves on black history. No one wants to take the time to understand race relations, race theory, or even basic cultural differences. No one wants to research why things are they way they are. But, they always got something to fucking say.
To end this, I’ll reference the quote that started all this: “That white comment was rather racist. Turn it around and there would be a lot of but hurt people.”
Okay. “You, being black and a pony, you wouldn’t know the first thing about how I would dress.” The only thing provocative about this line is the fact that the term black is used. It also implies a negative connotation with being black specific to the situation and purpose. I can see someone having a knee jerk uncomfortable reaction to this statement. But it’s not racist. Not by definition. At worst, it’s a edged comment that by simply using that term, carries with it over 400 years of baggage.
And I don’t fucking care because it was said in a My Little Pony fanfic. Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.
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This will be my last comment for this.
Thanks for responding author, but I KNOW. I'm aware of your entire argument. Its not at all in the spirit of the story for a reader to look at that line and think 'White people are too stupid to guess what shirt I’m going to wear'. HOWEVER, as I've stated, there ARE people who will read it like that.
You said that "It implies ignorance, but not different behavior." and I agree 100%. By the stated definition, it isn't racist. However, you're ignoring the irrationality of people. There ARE people who will look at that and think 'White people are too stupid...' etc. They are the same kind of people who've been burning down cities over this crap. My entire purpose in making my original comment was to make you as the author aware that there are people who are going to read it like that if you didn't already know.
You said that you're tired of seeing a bullsh*t arguement online about something that shouldn't matter as a result of your story. I agree entirely, and I apologize for my part in it. It isn't fair that this nonsense cropped up on your story's comment board. I pointed out that people are stupid and ruin good things. As such I've gotten a lot of angry comments. I made the mistake of thinking that the people of this fandom would be reasonable enough to realize my intent for what it is, and made the futher mistake of trying to reasonably explain myself.
I made my comment becuase I've seen people bully authors into quitting writing before, and I don't want it to happen again. There were a lot of good works on this site and on others that have been removed because of horrible people doing horrible things.
As I said, this is my final comment in all of this, so if anyone else is butthurt over reasonable criticsm, remove the damn stick from your a**.