• Member Since 8th Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

Alaborn


Somewhere in the USA. Probably older than you. And something about MLP:FIM makes me want to write stories. Unfortunately, being gainfully employed cuts into my writing time.

Comments ( 10 )

So here’s what we see in Sounds of Silence. The kirin all appear female. They haven’t gone nirik in years. And there don’t appear to be any foals in the village.

The implications are clear.

Oh, and nirik have infravision.

10143020

The kirin all appear female

Actually

Sorry, my thatguy instincts kicked in.

10143694
Thanks. I hadn't seen that before.

I still like this idea, though.

Awww, that ending was cute as heck.
And it was also hot (:rainbowlaugh:), headcannon accepted.

10143694
Wait, so effectively all Kirin males are canonically traps? Or being actually bodily female except for genitalia (and eyelashes) make them d-mares?
It does bring interesting connotations to a society. Would sexual attraction be based on other things to them? Would it be more about smells, for example? Or would femininity/masculinity be based only on the length of your eyelashes? :rainbowlaugh:

10143762
Presumably, they actually look different in universe. The way something looks to viewers is not necessarily the way it looks in the setting itself. A lot of people seem to not understand that though. Also, please refrain from careless use of the word trap, it's also used as a transphobe slur and some people might take it the wrong way.

10144052
What's the fun in they looking different? Imagining a society with such a, to us, fundamental difference in their physiology is considerably more interesting than just considering the resource dearth in animation.

Didn't know it was used as a slur, will take more care in the future. Thanks for bringing that to my attention.

10144202
Well, yes, it is massively more fun to imagine that your proposed theory is indeed the case. The concept of eyelash length being the measure of masculinity or not is just begging for a story about it.

Autumn Blaze had many rock friends. As an exile from her village, friends were hard to come by, and rocks made good friends. If you squinted hard enough, you could make out a friendly face in their craggy surface.

Later, she met Pinkie Pie. And Maud. And Boulder. That was a good day.

They all went into the Stream of Silence, and nopony explained anything after that.

Ohhh dear. A whole generation without sex ed. Or the ability to ask questions. That won't end well.

The world looked different as a nirik. Colors seemed darker and less vivid, but she also saw something different, a color redder than red, when she looked at something hot.

Huh. Literal heat vision. Very cool idea. No pun intended.

And the transformation does make sense as part of the dualism thing. Magic biology allows for these kinds of shenanigans. Very interesting ideas all around.

Ooooh. An excellent idea, playing with the kirin-nirik duality like this! Also, you got Autumn's chatty but isolated nature just right. :twistnerd:

This is your official review from Dirty Little Secret's Dirty Little Contest!
Remember to vote in the contest's poll -- voting closes at midnight, June 6th.
And make sure to allow notifications from the contest group and/or follow Dirty Little Secret to get the full results and the awards show post on June 9th!

------ Review ------

Please keep in mind, I know I can be overly critical and negative at times. I can always find something to nitpick, even in the greatest works of literature ever written. Please don't take it personally!
-Nice worldbuilding for kirin mating habits, including the reason for scaly backs!
-Things went back to normal just a little bit too fast after each climax, dropping off just a tad too soon instead of letting the moment linger for a bit.
-Not much description of what things looked like.
-In-story disclaimers are really unnecessary.
-Initial masturbation scene was very, very short.
-I’m surprised a silenced kirin was able to turn nirik. Wasn’t that exactly what the silencing was supposed to prevent?
-Pretty good sense of Autumn’s innocence and not really knowing what’s going on.

------ Scores ------

To clarify what these scores mean, check my judging rubric.
Cloppability: 75/100
Allure: 84/100
Enticement: 80/100
Immersion: 85/100
Prose Quality: 93/100
Total Score: 417/500
The more specialized scores for individual prizes, as well as the results of the community poll, will be published when the full results are announced. If this story wins any awards, there will be another post in the story comments sometime after June 9th announcing that this story has won.

Thank you for participating, and thank you for contributing to Fimfic's collection of clop!

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