It takes some time to deal with and let go of that empty hole you find in your chest where your heart used to be.
"Writers are vain, selfish and lazy." ~George Orwell
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I...I....won't....*Cries*
Yipyapper, you have my permission to pootispenserhere.
To be honest, I prefered the old version, where Spike just didn't care.
i'll read later i don't fell like crying now
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Your grammar and structure is improving. Same goes for your show-vs-tell. But. there are still some places where you could improve. Dialogue would be a big one. Your formatting could use a little bit of work as well. I'd suggest using " over ' , since " is the generally accepted punctuation for dialogue.
On the subject of Show-vs-Tell, remember this quote from Anton Chekhov:
"Don't tell me the moon is shining; show me the glint of light on broken glass."
And also this gem from Mark Twain, even though I really didn't see this particular issue in your story.
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I feel emotionless today... I'll read this later so that I can hate my life later... :P
Brohoof! /) OwO (\
sniffle
For everyone that's lost a friend,
there's a lesson to be learned here.
Yup, I'm doing it.
I'm improvwriting a song about this story. YY, I'mma send you something and you are going to like it.
3471335 A song about this one? I figured something that wasn't my first story would be deserving of a song.
3471365 This is your first?
Seems good to me. With some spiffying up, yeah, it could be like your 8000 worders.
But yeah, a song's gonna come...
Oh yes it will...
This was so well written.
Spike's realization at the end is just epic.
3536130 >Well-written
>Epic
U wot m8
3536172 Go ahead and write some more, The main thing I wanted to tell was that I enjoyed the story.
And with me being from a non-english speaking country, I normally don't see any errors.
That being said,
'Rite Moar!
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(bummed expression)"......."
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Seems to me that much more could have been done with this. Still a good read though.
Poor kid its painful to see Spike always left out hell he didn't even appear at Twilight birthday in Sweet Elite