• Member Since 21st Jul, 2015
  • offline last seen Yesterday

Somerset Cider


Anything is possible in my own powerful mind

E

Raven Inkwell, personal assistant to Princess Celestia, spends her last day completing her final task for Her Highness before retiring from service along with her employer.
The worst task. Checking the Royal tax returns.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 5 )

The concept is worth the upvote, but please, get someone to copy edit this.

UPVOTE I loved it!

9846659
Seconding this. Here are a few from the first scene:

Raven Inkwell leans back and glares at the four files sat on an almost bare desk in an equally nearly empty office behind the throne room.

This one is all present tense, for some reason.
Raven Inkwell leaned back and glared...

where the walls where once

were once

week, The

Capital.

occupation, (30 bits in lost change!)

Parentheses should precede the comma.

And still the four files

I'd replace this with Yet still, the..., but I can't speak for the necessity of the change.

All that is keeping her

was keeping her.

If you aren't using a grammar checker yet, now would be a great time to start. Inkwell's a nice character, and I was glad to have read this story, structural errors aside.

9847091
Thanks for the input, I shall bare it in mind for the next one.
This story started life for a 150 word flashfic contest and just grew. Believe me I am no writer and even 150 words can be a struggle. So, for all its faults I'm not going to change anything as I'm actually rather pleased with it.
Good and helpful guidance is always well received by me, thank you for your help.

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