Experiment C-13

by Botched Lobotomy

VI

It was well into night by the time Sunset reached home, and the moon was hidden behind clouds, but that was okay, because it would come out again soon. She unlocked the door hesitantly, taking a deep breath before climbing the stairs to their flat. The lights were still on. Sunset hoped she hadn’t worried. She’d text her, but knew from experience that rarely helped.

The door creaked a little as she pushed it open, foiling her attempt to sneak in quietly. Twilight was lying on the couch, a book over her face, and Sunset half-hoped she’d fallen asleep, but no such luck. She looked up as Sunset came in, propping herself up on the back of the couch as she watched.

“Hey,” Sunset said as she shrugged out her jacket, hung it up on the hook, the spare one, and turned back to her girlfriend.

“Hey,” Twilight replied, pushing her glasses back on her nose.

Sunset looked around their flat, really looked, for the first time in months. The kitchen, with the plates carefully stacked by the basin, the fridge full of leftovers, the freezer full of ready-meals, the couch Twilight liked to read on and the seat Sunset had taken to using for TV. No pictures hung the walls, no bundles of wires strung the floor, no mess of any sort, save for a miniature microscope lying inexplicably on the coffee table. It was a place unlived-in, at least by her.

Sunset swallowed, and the words were difficult, hard to let out, and impossible to take back. But they had to be said, because if she didn’t say them then nothing would change. Experiment C-13 had been a success. Who knew what it could be again in the future.

“Twilight...can I talk to you a second?”

Comments

[Maldarach]

And here goes the crediting : https://derpibooru.org/2142581?q=artist%3A5mmumm5

[FanOfMostEverything]

Call me a hopeless optimist, but I feel like this can still work out. The issue appears to be more with Sunset specifically than the relationship. (Granted, that would go against the prompt, but I just want these two to be happy, darn it!)

In any case, very nice little investigation of a mystery Sunset didn't want to admit she'd already solved. Thank you for it, and best of luck in the judging.

[PresentPerfect]

Just because an experiment doesn't give you the result you hoped for doesn't mean it's not successful.

[ScisetShimmerEvan]

Despite this story is very short I liked it. And it gave me a little reminder of what many people go through as time goes on.

[daOtterGuy]

Huh, neat. I like the build-up to the final moment and vagueness of the last piece of dialogue from Sunset. Definitely a strong story about working through one's relationship issues. The ambiguity on the ending is a nice touch, even though it seems to push towards ending everything rather than renewing their passions.

Overall, it was an enjoyable read with a really interesting concept and execution. Thanks for the read~!

[Bicyclette]

i've always been in Twilight's shoes here, or felt anxiety about being in Twilight's shoes here, so i can just feel what is coming up next for her. that i really felt Sunset throughout all of this is a real sign of something amazing. or maybe that anxiety really was just the mirror image of Sunset's feelings in myself that i was not acknowledging then, or something.

in case you can't tell, i really loved this. just that final taking-in of the apartment. and Rarity's out-of-context words echoing in my head as i read this. an amazing example of low-concept done well, just sinking into this bit of Sunset's life and her skin. and i just loved that the only dialogue exchanged between them in this fic was "Hey"; like any good experiment, avoiding any forms of exploration that would interfere with the results.

just brilliant stuff here. it makes me feel like i am reading something truly real in a way that's hard to get to even by authors who try very much their hardest to give that sense of verisimilitude. thank you so much for it

[evelili]

it feels odd to call this fic comforting, because the events of the story really dont have that feeling when considered on their own, but i think it absolutely nails the feeling of a stagnating relationship (friendship or romantic) and is just so familiar and... i dunno, real. i think that familiarity is comforting, even if the content itself is not. if that makes any sense at all haha