7. - Reunion
“Stupid bug. I hope she gets eaten by some kind of giant bird.”
Sergeant Hokey Pokey snorted before emptying his shot glass. He then held perfectly still, hoping that the stab of the cheap drink would cut out the memory of she who had betrayed him.
After a few minutes, he snorted again and fumbled for the bottle of… of whatever Trigger had given to him. The temperamental and foul-mouthed bartender had tried to talk him out of his plans when he had walked into the Phoenix Fire that evening, but the insults and threats had fallen on deaf ears. In the end, Trigger had acquiesced to Pokey’s demand for “the strongest thing you’ve got,” but only because they both knew that if he didn’t, Pokey would simply find another bar that would give him what he wanted.
Trigger could keep an eye on him if he stayed, and that wasn’t a guarantee elsewhere.⁽*⁾
⁽*⁾Trigger could also make sure that Pokey got something much tamer that what he really wanted without knowing it. The bottle he was currently hogging was mostly mouthwash, giving less booze content than thin beer, but guaranteeing fresh breath come morning.
—
Another shot disappeared, and Pokey glared daggers at the table in front of him. No matter how hard he tried, and no matter what he did, the putrid memory of Bluebelle’s true name, form, and intents continued to eat away at his insides, rotting them from the core outward like an incurable disease. During all that time, he had never once suspected that his marefriend was really Queen Chrysalis, and he hated his role in her latest scheme. Because of his foolishness, the changeling had been able to inflict untold amounts of agony on both Prince Bean and Princess Celestia by warping his brain and stealing the prince out from under his nose.
He had failed Celestia; betrayed her. His folly had led to him abandoning her right when she had needed him most, and he still could not figure out why she refused to be angry with him. His errors were worthy of a lifetime punishment, yet she kept him in her service.
This was to say nothing of the physical damage to the palace. For many of the nobility and the upper class, the devastation that the imposter drone had brought to the fine arts under Chrysalis’ orders within the palace was a blow that Equestria would never recover from.
Pokey moved to take another shot, but his hoof stopped halfway to his mouth. He’d lost track of how much he’d had that night, but it didn’t matter. Even if he could somehow drink every last drop of Trigger’s stock, it wouldn’t be enough to remove the memory of her.
Before Chrysalis’ betrayal, Pokey had been sure that Bluebelle was the one for him. He had spent days planning out how to ask her to marry him, and he had agonized over the place, the time, the setting, the music, the ring. He’d even considered asking Prince Bean for his opinion on his proposal speech right before the mess had ruined everything.
With a heavy sigh, Pokey lowered the glass. He doubted that he would ever get over her, and that was the most painful wound in his heart.
“Stupid bug.”
Pokey stared at the hazy liquid in his glass, his mind a jumble of thoughts and emotions that lacked any sort of organization or pattern. Maybe he could ask the Captain to give him double shifts at the palace, just so he’d quit doing this to himself.
Or maybe he’d just resign. If he kept doing this every night, he wasn’t going to be able to provide the protection the prince needed. Bean had suffered enough already because of his stupidity.
“Hey there, lonesome. Why the long face?”
Pokey’s eyes flicked up to the speaker. Before him stood a pink pegasus, with a vibrant mane of yellows and reds. Her green eyes playfully studied him through a pair of pince-nez glasses, but then a soft grin came while she sat in the chair across from him.
“My my. I don’t believe I’ve ever seen anypony so down in the dumps. Let me guess. Jilted lover, right?”
Pokey looked back down at the table. “Get lost, you parasite.”
“Parasite?” The young mare held a hoof across her chest and gave the depressed guardstallion a long look through her glasses. “Moi?”
“Yeah.” Pokey picked up his shot glass of caustic gin and slugged it back. “Go away, Chrysalis.”
“Chrysalis?” the pegasus leaned back, swallowed, and then frowned. “That’s no way to speak to a lady, especially one who’s trying to cheer you up.”
“Drop the act; I know it’s you. Did you come back to finish what you started, or are you just trying to twist the knife in a little deeper?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about,” the pegasus huffed.
“Fine. I’ll just yell ‘changeling,’ point to you, and wait. This place is full of guards, so it’ll only take a moment to find a unicorn who knows a detection spell. I wonder if Captain Armor will let me rip your wings off before he ships you off to be tortured by Princess Cadence.”
“You wouldn’t dare!” Chrysalis’ true voice hissed, but then she slunk in her seat and tried to avoid the curious glances from the other patrons. “I mean, that would be so cruel, wouldn’t it?”
“Cruel?” Pokey shook his head in disappointment. “Oh, that’s not even half as cruel as what you’ve put me through.”
“How did you recognize me?” Chrysalis huffed. “This is one of my best disguises.”
“How could I not?” Pokey shot back. “We spent nearly every minute together for weeks. I got to know everything there was to know about you. Or I thought I did, once.”
“Well, we could always start over,” Chrysalis offered in a tone that was smoother than silk. “I could be anypony you want. Anybody you desire. Whenever you want. We could... I mean you could have it all.”
“Or I could go find an industrial-sized can of bug spray.”
“That’s not very nice, either.” Chrysalis pouted and folded her forelegs. “You’ve changed. Where did that wonderful, mischievous, joyful pony go that you once were? I thought—”
“You thought what?” Pokey snapped, the venom thick in his words. “That I wouldn’t be affected by what you did? Are you really that delusional? You betrayed me. I trusted you, and you used that trust just so you could strike at the Prince and the Princess. I gave you my heart, and you treated it like it was a tissue; use it up and throw it away. That’s how all you bugs work, isn’t it?”
“Hokey, I never meant to hurt you,” Chrysalis said. “Maybe make you cry a little. Lie to you a few times. I mean you were too blind to see me for what I was, so I wasn’t even going to let you down easy, just leave you.” She shuddered and seemed to withdraw into herself for a moment. “I guess I’m just a stranger to love. I’ve always won the game.”
“A game? Are you serious?! You never meant to hurt me? Listen to yourself!”
The disguised changeling queen reached out, poured herself a glass from Pokey’s mystery bottle, and downed the shot with one quick gulp. “You know, for the first week or two, I would have been more than happy to feed you to a pit full of eels, but then…” She paused, and her face contorted into a grimace. “Look. I’ve got vengeance to plan, but ever since we parted, I—never mind. Let’s make this quick. I’m sss…”
Hokey Pokey was almost convinced that the bug queen had been drinking before coming here. “You’ve got a leak?”
“No! I’m sss… sssss…”
“Sounds pretty severe.” The dark cloak of depression that had been dragging him into the ground lifted just a tiny fraction, just enough to smile at the cute but frustrated look on Chrysalis’ disguise. “You might want to go get that checked out.”
“I’m sorry!” Chrysalis spat.
Pokey leaned forward slightly, both relishing and regretting the tiny spark of joy he was experiencing at her consternation. “And?”
“And I’m never doing that again.”
“Hurting me?”
“No! Apologizing. So you’d better have been listening the first time.”
“Apology not accepted,” Pokey leaned back in his chair as Chrysalis grabbed the bottle and took a deep, unmarelike swig.
“Bleh. Apologies taste horrible,” she grumbled. “So what are you going to do now, then? Are you going to haul me away? Put me in a chokehold? Blind me with pepper spray?”
“No.” Pokey exhaled after several long moments.
“Well, you’re no fun,” Chrysalis said with a pout. “Not even hoofcuffs?”
“Oh, I want to. Every last inch of me wants to beat you into submission and then throw you into the darkest cell in the deepest pit we have. I’d come by, occasionally, to cackle with delight while you waste away. Maybe I would even throw just a morsel of love down, a taste. That way, you could feel the anguish that you’ve put me through.”
“Sounds tempting,” she purred. “So why don’t you?”
It was a fair question. To be honest, Pokey was asking himself the same thing. The logical part of his brain never had worked very well, and with a few bottles of Bootlicker’s Best Brand in him, logic was a lost cause, so he just opened his mouth and watched the words spill out.
“Because, despite all logic and reason, there’s a tiny speck of me that still cares about you. It’s the same nonsensical part that forced you to seek me out.”
“It did not!” protested Chrysalis. “I’m here for… um… nefarious purposes,” she finished in a low mutter.
“Right. You just keep telling yourself that. If you’re going to believe in one delusion, why not have several?”
For example, am I really having this conversation, or have I fallen off my barstool and hit my head? he wondered.
Chrysalis’ mouth opened and closed several times. It was clear she wanted to offer some sort of stinging retort, but there was none forthcoming and it was frustrating the poor bug to no end.
“Whatever your idiotic plan is, leave me out of it,” Pokey snarled as he pushed away from the table and stumbled to his hooves. “Once I sober up, I’m going to regret what I’m doing right now, and the next time we meet, I’m going to make good on my threats. Just go back to your pestilent hive and leave me alone.”
Pokey brusquely pushed past her, but he only managed a couple of paces before he stopped. After a moment, he glanced over his shoulder and met her gaze directly.
“The glasses are a nice touch,” he offered. “You should keep them.”
Chrysalis said nothing as he made his way out of the bar. For several long moments, she simply stared at the door, but then she slowly turned back to the remnants of Pokey’s bottle. With a snort, she pulled in the numbing liquid, and with one slow movement, she emptied the bottle down to the dregs.
“Stupid pony. I hope he breaks a leg.”
* * 🛡 * *
Trigger said nothing when the pink pegasus finally staggered out into Luna’s night, trailed by a distinct sound of sniffling. His eyes did not lift from the counter he was wiping down, and his ears certainly did not trace her movements, hoping to catch any stray sound that would confirm his suspicions.
For several hours after this rather unassuming event, Trigger continued to serve his customers. It was a pretty good crowd, for a Saturday, and the brisk business kept the grizzled old guard occupied well into the early morning hours.
But just after he chased the last barfly out for the night, another pony strode in and walked straight over to his bar. Trigger said nothing when the newcomer sat, and he remained silent for several minutes until his guest spoke.
“I don’t usually leave the barracks in the middle of the night, but they said you’d make it worth my while.”
Trigger took a moment to retrieve a decanter from the middle of his displayed stock, and he smiled as he poured out and presented a glass to the guest.
“Granny Smith’s Whiskey Red.” An intrigued look overtook the late visitor, but he indulged in a sip before he continued. “This must be important if you’re pulling out the good stuff. I’m all ears, Trig.”
“I’ll give it to ya straight, Spear.” Trigger filled a glass for himself. “Chrysalis is back.”
Lieutenant Spear Point downed the rest of the amber liquid in one quick gulp. “I was wondering when she’d crawl out of the cracks. She’s chasing after my Sergeant again, isn’t she?”
“Pokey had a ‘discussion’ with her earlier.” Trigger topped off Spear’s glass and capped the decanter. “I only caught a few bits of their conversation, but that was enough. It was clear the two of them have a history, and that history ain’t over.”
Spear snorted at that. “What else?”
“That’s all I got. Pokey stormed out of here once he’d spoken to her, and she didn’t make a move on anypony else.” Trigger gave a low whistle. “Weirdest bug ever.”
“That is the biggest understatement of the year. I’ll inform Captain Armor immediately.” Spear put away the last of his drink. “I appreciate the tip and the drink. It’s been nice talking to you.”
“Nice...” Trigger gave his old friend a sharp glance. “Look, when ya track her down, I’d like a few minutes of quality time with her and several blunt objects. Gotta remind ponies I do more than just pour. I know I’ll have to get in line, but—”
“We aren’t catching her. Our orders are to observe and stay the buck out of the way.”
Trigger tapped the side of his head with one hoof.
“No, you’re not going deaf,” continued Spear. “Don’t touch the bug.”
“But—”
“Don’t touch the bug.”
“How—”
“I have it direct from three of the highest authorities in the land. No touchie.” Spear pushed the empty shot glass closer to Trigger, who filled it as promoted.
“What if—”
“No.” Spear chugged his booze in one quick swallow. “Whatever you want to do to her, whatever you think Shining Armor wants to do to her, whatever torture you can come up with in your wildest fantasies cannot compare with one alicorn who thinks she is ‘interesting.’ And Chrysalis has three of them.”
“Ah,” said Trigger. He refilled both glasses and put away his booze. “Poor bug?”
“Yes, poor bug indeed.” Spear held out his glass to his retired comrade. “To Their Highnesses, long may they reign.”
“And may they never find us interesting enough to kiss,” continued Trigger.
“Agreed!”
* * 🛡 * *
Trigger and his bar, the Phoenix Fire, appear courtesy of Wing, No Longer Sober, and their story No Longer Displaced, with extra gratitude to Wing for helping me to get Trigger's personality and mannerisms somewhat accurate. 
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And now the song is in my head, thank you very much.
Chrysy you may want to disappear soon...otherwise your life will get...complicated soon hehe
9882926
You're welcome!
I actually tried to include the line about the regular crowd shuffling in, but it didn't work very well.
It's good to see the Royal Guard is not so oblivious as they are sometimes portrayed.
As a changling. I want chryssi to make it out of this fine. But again a pony must do what he does
Shoot, I forgot about that fic, it's on my favorites. Need to go back and re-read it later.
9882946
Goddammit.
It's nine o'clock on a Saturday
A heart-broken stallion shuffles in
There's a bug in disguise sitting next to him
Drinking love, 'stead of tonic and gin.
He said, "What we had is a memory.
I'm sure that you know how it goes.
Now I'm sad, but last week, thought I knew you complete,
Like your leg, now my heart's full of holes.
Tell me a lie, oh Queen Chrysalis
Tell me a lie, tonight.
Tell me you're blue,
What we had it was true,
I need something funny tonight."
9883161
Holy shit this wins
9883161
Well done
Oof. Hokey and Chrysi aren't off to a star spangled reunion tour start, are they.
9882944
I don't know if complicated is a strong enough word for what will happen.
9883061
I do try to have the guard be more competent in my stories. Pokey is going to be keeping a watchful eye out now.
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9883113
Tis an excellent story. It was one of the stories that
motivated me to try my hand at writing, in fact.
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Dude. This is going in a blog post now. That is awesome.
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I dunno. Seems like there's plenty of fireworks already...
Chyrsal-Rick Astley
9883280
Crap. I just realized that I rhymed "tonight" with "tonight". The last line is now:
And that everything will be all right.
While it didn't go very smooth, I'm glad that Chrysalis and Hokey finally talked (and show that they both still have some feelings for each other). And with the guards' orders to observe and not engage Chrysalis, I wonder how Trigger would feel if she came back to sit down to drink and talk a few more times with Hokey, with each sitting slowly mending their feelings for each other (in a positive way).
Also...
Not sure if it's just a coincidence, but did you reference Jim Carrey's How the Grinch Stole Christmas?
9883301
Good think I didn't take Georg up on his bet. I'd be out a dollar now.
(He suggested that bit and said he bet a dollar a reader would catch that Hokey was getting rickrolled. I told him I'd not take that bet, since I'd lose a dollar. :)
9883302
I like it!
9883317
Meh heh heh.
It is a reference, yes. :)
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i.gifer.com/1C8Z.gif
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The bombs are bursting in air
9883280
Will she be begging to get the rainbow zap by the end of it I wonder
What do the three alicorns have in mind with Chrysi, hmmm? I can't wait to see how this plays out.
I thought I'd recognize Trigger from Wing's story.
9883072
It's too late. Chrysalis (and Pokey) has it bad and there's no hope for her now. I fully expect angry make-up snuggling at some point.
9883772
See that's all that needs to happen. This guy just walks in as she does her like big evil speech. Slaps her hard and drags her out of the room then has angry snuggles keeping the queen in check for the rest of his days.
9883280
That little tidbit still tickles me something fierce. :3
It was fun to sneak into your document, Irrespective. rofl
9883409
But by the end of the night, there will be no bug there.
9884112
Oh say does that hole ridden chitin yet contain
The viscera of the queen, and a space for her brain?
9883161
That was amazing.
Indeed
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9884915
Thank you.
Cross-posting from where I added this to the blog:
Trigger the bartender watches him,
To make sure that he'll make it home.
He'll him give a wink, as he waters the drink,
Cause it's safer if he doesn't roam.
He says "Pokey, how bout another one?"
As Pokey just downs another shot.
But the drunk that he feels is all in his head
Because alcoholic it's not.
Bluebelle's the name that she answered to,
When Chrysalis played with his heart.
And Pokey thought she was the mare who would be
The one from whom he'd never part.
To Chrysalis, it wasn't personal;
To Pokey, it bloody well was.
Now he sits in a chair, with a thousand-yard stare,
And he knows that it's just what she does.
Tell me a lie, oh Queen Chrysalis
Tell me a lie, tonight.
Tell me you're blue,
What we had it was true,
And that everything will be all right.
It's a pretty good crowd for a Saturday
In a bar full of off-duty guards.
And they know that it's her, 'neath that pretty, pink fur,
But arresting her's not in the cards.
And Chrysalis tries to apologize,
But she just can't commit to the part,
And Pokey just leaves Chrissy sitting there
Nursing her own hole in her heart.
Feed me a line, oh Queen Chrysalis
Feed me a line again.
You had something true,
With your stallion of blue,
Now you sit all alone and in pain.
Chrysalis has captured her self and thrown her self in the one prison she can never escape from and the princess know it.
and when she finally comes to terms and understand what she has done to her self it is going to scare the hell out of her.
she has fallen in LOVE.
9885269
That will explain the order not to touch her
Short chapter but i can see why this conversation deserves its own post. Good work as always.
9885213
Took a few liberties to match to the musical cadence, but.. errr... have fun!
http://wingmc.com/PONY/PNK.mp3
9885491
You did good, Wing. So good, in fact, that imma gonna share this in my blog for everyone to hear!
Alright.
I feel bad for Chrysalis. partly because she's my favorite villain, but also because she's in trouble with not one alicorn, but three.
I just hope she and Pokey can work things out.
I named a tablet I won from a library contest Piano Man because I won it at around 9 o'clock on a Saturday.
Oh crap. They find her 'interesting' Chryssy is doomed.
Awesome chapter, poor buggy... Never liked she got stone in the last episode which was the worst ending for me.
Hope there is a better future for her... Also, we need a side story for that bar. Sounds like a good idea
“You could have it all!”
Pokey slugged back another shot. “Can you turn into a dude?”
Chrysalis taken back for a second regarded the Sergeant. “I didn’t know you swing that way.”
“Can you?”
Looking around and seeing Nopony looking side turns into a gray coated stallion with red main and a chiseled features.
“There stud how’s thi-“
“YOU COME HERE AND TELL ME YOU SLEPT WITH MY MAREFRIEND!” Pokey screams garnering the whole place’s attention.
“Wait-What?” She doesn’t get another word out as Pokey swings a hoof into ‘his’ jaw sending her sprawling.
A punch to the gut and one to the chest and Pokey leans down and whispers to her. “That’s how I swing!” Before finishing it with a headbutt.
9885491
Oh sweet Luna, that made my night.
9890574
Aww yeah :P
Chrysalis is in a very Grinchy mood, WHO would have thought!
I must say this series is verry nice and i greatly enjoyed it.
I hope there will be more soon
slow claps
Oh-ho! The Princesses are going to 'play' with Chrysalis.
NOW they're starting to think like me!
than
9883161
This deserves completion and a cover! We're putting a pin in that...
Edit: Nevermind, others had the same idea!
Im quite confused after that chapter...
*It would have been four but no one wanted to find out what the youngest Princess would do if someone reminded her of the fact that there had never been an in depth study of changeling biology.
Do they teach the bug to hug?