27. - Chrissy Armour
Sergeant Hokey Pokey awoke with a snort and a snuffle, and his joints popped as he groaned and rolled over in his bed. Never going to play any kind of drinking game with Chrysalis ever again. Ever! All those holes in her legs must be so the booze leaks out before she gets drunk.
The pounding in his head only grew as he slowly sat up, and he groaned all the more as the taste and smell of rotten eggs assaulted his senses. If he could somehow drag himself to the bathroom, there was a medicine cabinet loaded with aspirin, and a water spigot that he could stick his face under to quench his thirst and eliminate the taste. A hot shower was then in order, and after a full breakfast, he was going to find the changeling queen and…
And do something. A more detailed plan for revenge would wait until the world quit pounding in time with his pulse.
Pokey sat up, and with a swipe of a forehoof through his mane, he glanced at his alarm clock with bleary eyes.
Half a second later, he filled his house with an eloquent string of profanities as he bolted into the bathroom. Somehow, the alarm clock had not been set, so he had precisely ten minutes to report to the palace for duty.
Thankfully, the Sergeant had years of experience with rapid preparation. Within two minutes and twenty seconds, he had relieved himself, washed his hooves, brushed his teeth, drunk two large glasses of water, and downed three aspirins. It took him another fifteen seconds to brush his mane, and thirty-three seconds to don his armor.
Two seconds later, he burst through his front door—almost literally—and flew to the palace in record time. Skidding to a stop at the secure entrance, he offered a quick salute to the sentry on duty, then calmly strode into the barracks as if nothing in the world was amiss.
“Pushing it a bit, aren’t we?” Clover Leaf came up on his left side and gave him a nudge. “You’re always here half an hour early. What happened?”
“Wildlife study,” Hokey grumbled. “My head is killing me.”
“Stayed up too late sharing drinks with the bug?” Clover joked. “Serves you right. Need to stop at the infirmary before we report in?”
“I took something for it already. I’ll be fine.”
Clover shrugged. “All right, it’s your head. Looks like you took the time to polish your armor at some point, though. You’re making me look bad.”
Pokey glanced down to his breastplate. It did seem to have a bit more shine to it than normal, but for the life of him, he couldn’t remember taking the time to polish it at any point yesterday. Thanks to a certain incident involving his armor wax during Hearth’s Warming, he had to clean and maintain his equipment in the barracks now, but as far as he could recall, he had gone straight home at the end of his shift yesterday.
“Huh. That’s weird,” he muttered. “Don’t remember touching it.”
“Maybe Chrysalis polished it for you,” Clover said with a grin. “Y’know, out of the goodness of her heart and everything.”
“That’ll be the day,” Pokey muttered. “C’mon. We should report in.”
* * ✹ * *
There were days that Hokey Pokey looked forward to as a Royal Guard. Usually, those days involved diplomatic visits to another country, or a scheduled Royal appearance in one of Equestria’s many cities and towns. These provided the opportunity to stretch his wings and to be out and about, as opposed to the days when the Royal Couple had nothing planned and he had to stand guard in one place, all day long.
Today was not a day that he was looking forward to, hangover aside. With Wysteria out on maternity leave, it often fell on Sergeants Hokey Pokey and Clover Leaf to help Assistant Secretary Trixie with her job, and that usually entailed being a courier, deliverings summons and notices and official replies to the various nobles of Canterlot. Still, it kept him moving, so he said nothing when Trixie had levitated a stack of papers to him that morning and curtly said to ‘take care of this.’ Prince Bean and Princess Celestia were due to be in court for the entire day, so Pokey’s absence would not be noticed, and the paperwork would keep him from having to deal with any petitioners, their loudness, or their even louder and more screechy offspring. Pokey understood why the noisy little foals had to accompany their parents, but his head really didn’t want to deal with the sharp screams that they seemed to store up until they came to the palace.
Pokey’s eyes flicked down to his breastplate once more as he walked towards the recipient of the first summons, and his mind went backwards again in an effort to figure out when he had polished his armor. He also wanted to know why his alarm hadn’t gone off that morning, since he had never forgotten to set it before in his career.
“Maybe Chrysalis turned it off,” he muttered under his breath. “I’ll have to talk to her about it. She can’t be doing stuff like that if she wants to keep living under my roof.”
“And what if I did turn it off, my succulent Pokey?” Chrysalis whispered into his ear.
Pokey rounded to his right to confront the changeling queen, but he found nothing but a stained-glass window and some decorative sconces filled with honeysuckle flowers. With no shortage of confusion, he turned to the left, glanced behind him, and then looked over his right shoulder once more.
“I had more to drink than I thought,” he muttered with a shake of his head. “Now I’m hearing voices.”
“Oh, no. You’re not imagining anything,” Chrysalis purred.
Pokey again glanced behind him, and he let out a snort of annoyance. “All right, Chrissy. I’m in no mood for your games today. Where are you?”
Chrysalis replied with a deep hum of delight that sounded like she had stuck her nose right in his ear. “Haven’t you figured it out yet, my sweet babboo? I’m closer than I’ve ever been before.”
Pokey’s eyes widened as his breastplate tightened, as if it was giving him a hug. The rest of his armor soon followed suit, with the added sensation of somepony tickling the base of his neck.
“Get it now, my Pokey-poo?” Chrysalis whispered.
“You enchanted my armor?” he asked.
“Not quite,” Chrysalis said in a supremely smug tone. “I am your armor.”
Pokey tried to absorb this revelation, but the information evaporated before it could take. “You... you changed yourself into my armor?”
“Is that so hard to believe?” she said. “I am Queen of the Changelings, after all. I can transform into anything you can imagine: animal, vegetable, or… mineral,” she cooed.
Pokey yelped as his armor began to tickle his ribs, and he dropped the paperwork to properly begin clawing at his breastplate with his front hoof. “Get off! Get off!”
“Mm, no,” Chrysalis said, her hug growing tighter. “I’m rather enjoying this. I think I’ll stay.”
Pokey suddenly froze as hoofsteps echoed in the hall, and he went to rigid attention. After a moment, Princess Luna strode into his field of view, stopped, and glanced around at the mess of papers in the hallway.
The Princess said nothing as her eyes moved back to him, and he offered nothing back. After a few intense moments of being subjected to her withering, alicorn-powered cyan stare, the nocturnal diarch slowly moved away, but her eyes remained on him until she had rounded the corner.
“Chrysalis!” Pokey somehow managed to whisper his shout of panic, his hooves frantically flailing and digging at his helm in an effort to remove it. “This is low, even for you! Get off me!”
“No! I’m not going anywhere,” she retorted. “You’re not thinking this through.”
“I’m thinking I’m wearing a changeling!” Pokey barked. “Do you realize how wrong this is?!”
“No,” she simply said. “How is this wrong?”
Pokey started to reply, but then he realized he didn’t have a good answer. “Because… because you’re not supposed to wear living creatures?”
“That was lame,” Chrysalis replied. “You’ve got to come up with something better than that if you’re going to convince me.”
Lacking any further reasons, Pokey moved on to the next most pressing question in his head. “Why did you change yourself into my armor?”
“That’s easy,” she replied, and Pokey shivered as his new set of Chrysalis armor began to massage all of his back all at the same time. “I miss you, my Pokey-wokey. I get so bored and lonely in your house while you’re here, and crossword puzzles get old after long enough. But then, the answer came to me last night like a flash of lighting when you staggered off to bed. I obviously can’t be with you in my beautiful Queen form, but nopony will be the wiser if I’m with you as your armor! It took a little bit of practice, but I managed to replicate all of your accoutrements perfectly. To everypony else, I look exactly like your helm, your breastplate, your wither guards, and your—”
“Hey, hey!” Pokey quickly crossed his rear legs, and his tail clamped down over his rump. “Keep those hooves to yourself!”
“Being hungover this morning was an immense help,” she went on with a playful giggle. “You were in such a rush that you didn’t even notice that your helmet was still connected to the neck plates. Sadly, I can’t be separate pieces, for obvious reasons. But in the end, it’s better that I’m all connected. There’s no gaps in the protection now!”
“What about my shoes?”
“I’m not your shoes,” Chrysalis said with what sounded like a pout. “So I can’t tickle your hoofsies, much as I might want to. But I’m going to figure out how to do that, don’t worry.”
“And you’re not going to get off,” Pokey said. The gears in his brain had finally started to sync together, even though it was making the pounding in his head louder.
“No way. I rather like this,” she purred again. “You wouldn’t believe how amazing it feels to have you all inside me. Plus, I can steal your emotions all the easier this way.”
Pokey violently shoved the thoughts that had come with Chrysalis’ statement out of his head and replaced them quickly with something more practical and less arousing. “Great.” Pokey poked the imitation cuirass that wrapped around his barrel with a long, deep breath. “And what are you going to do if the unthinkable happens? Are you going to jump off me and make a run for it when I have to dive in to protect the Royals?”
“Of course not,” she said. “Who is the only creature to best Princess Celestia in singular combat, hmm? If I’m strong enough to beat her, then I’m more than capable of keeping my precious Pokey-poo safe and secure.”
“While I totally believe you are thick enough in the head to be equal to my armor, you were hopped up out of your tiny mind on Captain Armor’s love when you bested the Princess,” Pokey pointed out.
“So if you give me your love, then you will be safer, too. Besides, I can help you in other ways.”
“Yeah? How?”
A rather odd sensation came over Hokey Pokey. It was like a thousand ants had suddenly sprung to life everywhere where his coat was in contact with Chrysalis, but they also flowed up toward his spine, ran up his neck, and slid over his skull. A pinprick of power hit him in the forehead, and he went cross-eyed to look over the long, jagged black horn that had just emerged. Chrysalis’ horn then lit, and with a rush of power that made Pokey gasp, the scattered papers in the hall were lifted, sorted, stacked, and presented back to him in a sickly green glow.
“You’ve always wanted to know what it’s like to use magic, haven’t you?” Chrysalis’ seductive words slunk into his ear and sashayed down to his brain. “Now you know, my delicious dear. Just imagine what we can accomplish together like this!”
“We’re not accomplishing anything together,” he retorted with one more ineffectual attempt at removing his new Chrysalis armor. “I’ll admit to wondering what it’s like to use magic a time or two, but I’m a pegasus, and at the end of the day, I have no desire to be anything else. I’m proud of what I am.”
“Fine. Be that way about it,” Chrysalis huffed, and her horn disappeared. “But I’m still not going anywhere. Even if I did leave, you’d have to explain to your superiors exactly why you’re suddenly stripped and bare-bunned, and that won’t be pleasant.”
She had a point, much as he hated to admit. “Fine. But once my shift is over, you get off.”
Chrysalis let out a dark, seductive laugh that made Pokey’s belly vibrate. “My dear Pokey-wokey, by the time your shift is done, you won’t want to take me off. In fact, I bet you’ll wonder how you ever lived without me.”
* * ✹ * *
“Deputy Plumb Level.” Pokey’s wing extended and presented a small stack of papers to the civil servant. “Their Highnesses have reviewed your proposal. This is their official reply.”
“Excellent!” the dutiful deputy took the stack of papers in his magic with a grateful smile. “I’ve been waiting for this. Thank you, Sergeant.”
“Good day, sir.” Pokey dipped his head for a brief moment, then turned to march off to the next pony that was listed in his stack.
“Ugh, this is so boring,” Chrysalis moaned in his ear. “Is this really what you do all day?”
Pokey snickered. “No, this is a good day, actually. Most of the time, I don’t get to move at all.”
“That’s dumb,” Chrysalis huffed. “It would be better if you moved around. It would be easier to stop ambushes that way.”
“And there are guard ponies who patrol the grounds,” Pokey replied. “But my primary job is to protect the Prince. So, if he’s stationary, so am I.”
“Why aren’t you guarding him now, then?” Chrysalis challenged.
“Because he and Princess Celestia are in Day Court, and Celestia’s guards are on watch,” he said in a slow tone. He had learned that he had to speak clearly and use small words with the changeling queen, or she would twist and contort the lesson he was trying to impart to her, intentionally or not.
Chrysalis wriggled a bit, and Pokey rolled his shoulder to get her back into the proper position on his back. “There’s no slouching in the Royal Guard, Chrissy. If I’m not wearing you perfectly, Lieutenant Spear Point will bust me for being out of uniform and put me on KP duty. Unless you want to be stuck in some back corner of the palace’s kitchen, watching me as I peel potatoes.”
“I think I’d rather listen to Mandible’s poetry,” Chrysalis grunted. “Fine. But you owe me for putting up with this.”
“I don’t owe you anything. You’re the one who decided to do this, not me.”
“Sergeant Pokey!” A nearby voice called out, and the Sergeant turned to face the speaker.
“Lord Fancy Pants, sir.” Pokey saluted. “How can I help you, sir?”
“Well, old chap, I was just wondering if Princess Celestia has had a chance to look over my proposal. Miss Trixie informed me that it might take a few weeks, but I was rather hoping to get Celestia’s approval before the end of the week.”
“As far as I am aware, sir, the Princess has not ha-AH!—” Pokey yelped as something began to tickle the inner part of his rear thigh “—had a chance to look over your proposal yet. I’ll—Eeep!—be sure to let her stop that! know that you would—” Pokey’s rear hoof stomped on the floor “—like her proOOOmpt attention to the matter!”
Fancy Pants leaned back slightly and gave the Sergeant a confused stare. “I say, are you quite all right?”
“Just fiNNE! Just fine, sir,” Pokey quickly said. “If you’ll excuse me!”
Pokey took off at a quick canter before Fancy Pants could reply, but he stumbled and nearly tripped when Chrysalis did something that made his ribs twitch uncontrollably. Once he had rounded a nearby corner and was reasonably sure he was out of sight, he slammed himself against a pillar and then hit his breastplate with a hoof.
“Ow!” Chrysalis screeched, and Pokey’s armor suddenly constricted on his barrel. “You fat oaf! There’s no need for that!”
“Have you lost what remained of your tiny bug brain?!” Pokey hissed in a sharp whisper. “You can’t be doing stuff like that to me while I’m talking to the nobility!”
“I’m just trying to liven things up,” Chrysalis grumbled. “Besides, the view back here is so fantastic, I just can’t help myself.”
“Chrysalis, I swear, if you keep this up…”
“Fine, fine.” Pokey’s Chrysalis armor relaxed, but only slightly. “I’ll behave while you’re dealing with the snobs.”
Pokey snorted and rolled his neck. “I don’t know why I put up with you some days.”
“That’s easy,” Chrysalis purred as Pokey moved to his next assignment. “It’s because you have a secret, hidden desire for the dark and the mysterious, the exotic and the rare. Why, we might even be soulmates, if you think about it! Just look how well we—” there was a brief and evil giggle “—fit together!”
Pokey suppressed a groan of approval when his armor began to massage the base of his neck and shoulders. “I don’t know about all of that, but this I don’t mind.”
“So tense,” Chrysalis whispered. “You really need to learn how to relax. I could help you with that, if you’d just let me.”
“No way,” he said. “Not after how you betrayed me.”
“Are you seriously still stuck on that?” Chrysalis said, and Pokey felt a squeeze around his barrel that would be a hug, if it were being given by a pony and not his personal protection. “C’mon. What have I done to you? Recently, that is. Have I hurt you at all, or tried to mislead you in any way? I’m making amends for what I did, my Pokey-poo. I’m pretty sure you’re supposed to forgive me since I’ve changed for you.”
Pokey grumbled something incomprehensible, but deep down, he had to admit that Chrysalis had a point. Despite a few small disruptions at the beginning of her stay, Chrysalis had been amazingly well-behaved⁽*⁾ and followed the rules that he had laid out. She kept her little corner of his house tidy, she hung up the towels after using them, and she even took the garbage out to the curb on occasion.
⁽*⁾For a low but finite value of behaved.
—
Even though they were all acts that were beneath her royal self, and she liked to remind him of that fact frequently.
“So, hypothetically speaking, what would you do to help me relax?” Pokey slowly asked, and he felt Chrysalis’ small squeal of delight around his wings.
“I’d stuff you in a pod, to start,” she said with glee. “Yes, I know how it looks to you ponies, but if you think of it like you’re in a waterbed hammock, you’ve got a basic idea. A few hours’ rest in one of those would do wonders for all of these knots in your back. I could even set it up so you’re not fully engulfed, if that would take away some of your reservations.
“Then, I’d whisper sweet nothings in your ear,” she went on, her voice taking on a sultry tone. “We changelings have a way with words, and I know I could talk all of your cares away, if you’d let me. And if you like this little massage that I’m giving you now, then you really need to let me use my hooves on you, like how I used to as Bluebelle.”
Hearing that name made Pokey tense, and his armor tightened just a bit more, as if Chrysalis was trying to comfort him. “Okay, forget I said that,” she offered. “But you know, I could be Bluebelle again, if you asked nicely.”
“No.” Pokey snapped out the answer. “Just… no. Bluebelle was a dream, a fantasy.”
“Bluebelle was me,” Chrysalis softly said. “And believe it or not, a lot of me went into her.”
“Look, just drop it. I’m not in the mood to talk about what happened.”
“Fine. But eventually, you’re going to have to come to terms with what I did, and I mean really come to terms with it,” Chrysalis said. “I know you’re torn between what I was, what I did, and what I am now. You’ve got to decide what you’re going to do with me. Is there a chance that I can be forgiven, or not?”
Pokey didn’t say anything, but he did mull the thought over as he walked down the empty corridor. The real question, to him, wasn’t whether or not he could forgive the bug queen. The question was if he could trust her again. So far, pretty much everything he’d done since Chrysalis came back was designed to control her, to keep her in line and out of trouble. She had to account for where she was, what she was doing, and what she was going to do at all times, with the oft-repeated and mostly hollow threat of dragging her back to face Celestia’s wrath if she failed to follow the rules.
She was more powerful than he was, much as he hated to admit it.
And for the most part, Chrysalis had been compliant. There had been a few rebellious instances in the beginning, and her complaints about his strict regulations had not diminished in the slightest, but on the whole, the Queen of the Changelings had been a—he hesitated to say it—decent guest in his house, despite her indecent moments.
And, worst of all, he had enjoyed having her company as of late.
Or perhaps it was best of all? Pokey shook his head at the thought. He did not want to admit it, but after all of the time they’d spent together, the steadfast sergeant had come to think of Chrysalis in a way that was similar to how he had thought of Bluebelle.
“So, where are we going now?” Chrysalis asked.
Pokey broke himself out of his reverie and glanced down at the small pile of papers that he still held in wing. “Looks like you’re in for a treat. I have to head over to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns to deliver this last one.”
“Why is that so special?”
“Because Celestia’s school is not here in the palace. We have to go outside to get to it.”
Pokey tried not to laugh when his armor squealed in delight and jumped slightly in joy. “Finally! Let’s go! Sunbutt’s palace is far too stuffy.”
* * ✹ * *
“Thank you, Sergeant.” Twilight Velvet took the offered papers with a grin. “I’ve been waiting for these. Am I your last stop for the day?”
“For now, ma’am,” Sergeant Pokey replied. “But that might change once I get back to the palace. Assistant Secretary Trixie may have more notices for me to deliver.”
“I see.” Dean Velvet leaned back in her chair, and she gave the sergeant a critical glance before continuing. “Is my son trying out a new type of armor?”
Outwardly, Pokey remained calm. Inwardly, his heart began to hammer, and he somehow felt Chrysalis’ heart begin to do the same. “What do you mean, ma’am?”
“You’re not exactly in uniform at the moment, are you?” Twilight Velvet said with a knowing smirk. “Your armor is not quite right.”
“How so?” Pokey asked as Chrysalis began to tremble ever-so-slightly.
“I don’t remember leg guards being part of standard issue.” Twilight Velvet pointed to his legs, and Pokey’s gaze followed to see what she was talking about. “Is there some sort of threat that’s come in that requires extra protection?”
“Not that I am aware of, ma’am,” Pokey slowly said. “The Captain—”
Dean Velvet held up a hoof and chuckled. “I’m just giving you a hard time, Sergeant. What goes on in the guard—and what armor you wear—isn’t for me to question. Please, carry on.”
“Yes, ma’am.” Pokey saluted, turned, and all but fled from Dean Velvet’s office. Once he was back outside, he took to the air, and he kept going up until he was sure he was out of earshot of anypony else.
“Don’t get mad at me, Pokey,” Chrysalis said before he could begin his rant. “If I’m your armor, then I’m going to protect you, and that means all of you. Even my drones have enough sense to cover their legs. I don’t get why you guards don’t.”
Pokey wanted to fire off a withering retort, but the stern words died in his throat. She had a point, and as he lifted a leg to inspect the new golden plates, he decided to go in a different direction with his questions. “So, is this you too?”
“You betcha,” Chrysalis cooed as his armor gently moved, like a cat rubbing up against his legs. “I’m gonna get to those hoofsies yet.”
“You’re not going to take over my body or something, are you?”
Chrysalis scoffed. “While tempting, you can overpower me when I’m like this. I don’t have any way of making you do anything.”
“You’ll have to remove them once we get back to the palace, you know,” he said. “But I’ll admit, you’ve got a point about uncovered legs. You’re doing a good job with flexibility, too. I don’t feel constricted at all.”
“That’s the idea,” she whispered with a giggle.
“Not totally sure about the thickness, though. You’re light, but armor needs to have some weight to it. Otherwise, a blade could go right through, and…”
Pokey trailed off, his eyes focusing in on a dark mass that was moving towards the base of Mount Canter. A large mass, filled with stars and long, sharp fangs.
“Pokey?” Chrysalis asked. “What is that?”
An ear-splitting roar knocked Pokey backwards, rattled the ground he crash-landed on, and sent all nearby ponies into a panicked run.
“That, my buggy Queen, would be an Ursa Major,” Pokey replied.
Warning horns began to blare in the background as Pokey took to the air and streaked down towards the gigantic bear-like monstrosity that was moving towards the city’s main gates. The massive stellar creature slowed when the gates slammed shut and two unicorn guards began to fire magic shots at it, but Pokey knew there was no way an Ursa Major would be stopped by such trivial barriers.
“Pokey?!” Chrysalis screamed as his wings tore through the air. “What are you doing?!”
“Time to earn your keep!” he shouted over the rush of the wind. “Let’s see how tough you really are!”
“Bad idea! Bad idea!” Chrysalis shrieked, but her pleadings went unheeded by the sergeant.
“Concentrate your fire!” Pokey bellowed to the unfortunate guards as he landed at the guard shack. “Keep it distracted! We’re going to lure it away from the city!”
“Sir!” the guards replied as Pokey ripped the door open, dove inside, plucked a spare spear from the storage rack, and took to the air again within a second.
“Please tell me you know how to deal with this thing!” Chrysalis yelped as Pokey buzzed the Ursa’s ear and slashed at its cheek.
“The only way to defeat an Ursa Major is to keep it out in the open and throw everything you have at it!” Pokey dodged a swipe from the monster’s overgrown claws and moved to stab at its nose. “This thing will level Canterlot if it gets into the city!”
“So what?! Let it!” Chrysalis whined. “You can rebuild!”
“And risk the population? Not on your life,” Pokey shot back.
“That’s exactly the problem! My life is at stake here!”
“Accepted occupational hazard!” Pokey wheezed as his Chrysalis armor constricted on his barrel. “Chrissy! Let go! I can’t breathe!”
“Not the face! Not the face!” Chrysalis tried to pull Pokey to the left, but he powered through her influence, banked to the right, and missed the Ursa’s claws by inches.
“Work with me here, Chrissy! And left!” he ordered. “Your other left!”
“Which way is left?!”
“Right!” Pokey barked.
“Make up your mind!”
“Down!” Pokey lashed out at the open maw of the beast, and his spear tore a large gash in the Ursa’s nose while he dropped out of the way of the teeth that were longer than Celestia was tall.
The Ursa reeled back in pain with a howl, but to Pokey’s horror, its back paw effortlessly smashed through the main gate as it stumbled, and the two unicorn guards scrambled sideways to keep from being stepped on.
“Hey! We’re winning!” Chrysalis cheered.
Her celebration was short-lived. Once the Ursa had regained its footing, it whirled to face its tiny assailant, a furious fire burning in its blood-red eyes. Half a second later, its paw struck out and made contact, and Pokey was sent crashing into a nearby building.
It took a few moments for Pokey to regain his senses, and he staggered back to his hooves as he picked himself out of the debris and brickwork he was buried under. There was a good chance that he had multiple broken bones, and as he tried to clear the blur from his vision, he spat out the blood that was pooling in his mouth.
“Ow,” Chrysalis moaned.
“Good, you’re not dead.” Pokey glanced down at his broken foreleg and grimaced at the bone that was sticking out of the skin.
“No, but I can’t take another hit like that,” Chrysalis said. “Neither can you.”
“I’m not going to let that thing get into the city.” Pokey groaned, then collapsed with a sharp shriek of pain when he put weight on his injured leg.
“Then quit being stupid. We need to work together to defeat this thing.”
“I’m open to suggestions. What do we do?”
“I mean we literally need to work together. Your strength plus my magic should be enough to drive this ugly back.”
Pokey shivered as a cold and unfamiliar sensation began to flow over his back and down his withers. It was like he was being coated in changeling goo, but his pains were whisked away as the slime-like touch continued to coat and cover his entire body. “Chrissy? What are you doing?”
“Something desperate, and probably dumb. Now hold still.”
Pokey gasped, then sucked in a sharp breath when the feeling flowed over his injured leg, and his eyes widened in shock as he lifted the appendage up and watched Chrysalis at work. Before his eyes, the golden plates liquified and reformed into black changeling chitin, and he continued to stare until his whole leg was coated and covered by the alien material.
The sergeant twisted to look over his barrel, and he found he was encased, from head to hoof and from neck to tail, in the same changeling material. Before he could say anything or properly panic about what was going on, however, another pinprick of power slammed into his forehead, and he fell to his knees as that power rushed into the rest of his body.
“Chrissy… what…” he gasped.
“I’m not going to be beaten by some overgrown hairball,” Chrysalis said, her tone resolute. “And I’m not going to let my Pokey-poo get killed.”
Pokey slowly stood, his chest heaving as he gulped in large swallows of air. There was so much raw power flowing through him that it was nearly overwhelming, but it also felt incredible. It was like he had gained all of the energy Chrysalis had when she stole love from others, and it only seemed to grow as she fed off the love he had for the ponies he had sworn to protect.
“Still sure you don’t want to use magic?” Chrysalis snarked.
Pokey glanced to the jagged horn that had reappeared on his forehead, and he grimaced as it lit with green magic. “I might be willing to make an exception here.”
“I thought so. Now, since I’m you and you’re me, what say we go take care of business?”
Pokey rolled his shoulders, and he chuckled as he felt his new lightweight coating flex with his actions. “Chrissy, that’s probably the best idea you’d ever had.”
The new Pokeylis shot into the air with a single flap of their wings, and the combined changeling pony took a moment to admire the thin, razor-sharp blade of chitin that ran down the leading edge of their wings. Together, they felt impervious, indestructible.
And, curiously, they also felt whole.
Another roar from the Ursa brought Pokeylis’ attention back, and they watched for a brief moment as Princess Luna casually dodged a swipe of claws. With a confident grin, the sergeant-queen shot towards the conflict, their horn lowered and surging with all of the magic they could muster.
“Pokey.” Princess Luna called out with a small snicker and a smile. “Are you having fun?”
“Just a moment, Your Highness!” Pokeylis called out. “Just need to take care of a little problem!”
“While that would be amusing to watch, I think this has gone on for long enough.”
“What?”
* * ✹ * *
Hokey Pokey awoke with a snort and a snuffle, and his joints popped as he groaned and rolled over in his bed.
“Ugh!” he moaned. “That was… the weirdest…”
It took a moment for Pokey to get his bearings, but as he did so, he reached out and grabbed his alarm clock. If there was such a thing as the middle of the night, he was smack-dab in the middle of it, which thankfully meant that he could roll back over and go back to sleep.
Anything would be better than the percussive pounding that was splitting his skull in two.
But after that bizzare little dream, Pokey wasn’t entirely sure he wanted to go back to sleep. His head only pounded more as he tried to make sense of the madness that he had just dreamt, so he promptly gave up and groaned again.
“Never going to play any kind of drinking game with Chrysalis ever again. Ever! All those holes in her legs must be so the booze leaks out before she gets drunk,” he grumbled.
“Hey! You mind keeping it down in here? Some of us are trying to sleep.”
The hungover guard rolled over again, and in his doorway, he found two glowing green eyes, shining like emeralds and betraying Chrysalis’ annoyance. “Gee, so sorry to have disturbed you. Go back to bed.”
“Why are you thrashing around, anyway? You usually sleep like a rock.”
Pokey felt a twinge of confusion, and he snuffled again as the changeling queen moved into his room. Chrysalis had never been much for compassion, but her question had been offered with concern, not contempt. “Just a bad dream.”
Chrysalis hopped onto his bed, and before Pokey could protest, the changeling had pulled him into a soft hug with his head resting on her chest. “That must have been some dream.”
“It was… something,” he admitted. Normally, he would wonder what Chrysalis was up to and why she was hugging him, but at the moment, the embrace felt comforting and surprisingly tender.
“Sounds like Moonbutt is slacking off on her duties,” Chrysalis said. “So, why don’t you tell me all about it. Then we can both go back to sleep.”
In some back corner of his mind, a very small warning bell tried to chime, but Pokey really didn’t feel like fighting off Chrysalis’ devious plot, whatever it was. When she leaned back, he followed with her, and after a moment of shuffling, he found himself being comfortably spooned and caressed within the changeling’s embrace.
“It started with me waking up to go to work,” he began over Chrysalis’ yawn. “My alarm clock didn’t go off, and I only had ten minutes to get to the palace.” He paused for a moment. “My alarm is on, right?”
Chrysalis grunted. “I dunno. Why wouldn’t it be?”
“Because in my dream, I thought you had turned it off.”
“Mm, tempting. But you’d get mad at me if I did.”
Pokey smiled to himself in the dark. “Anyway…”
Pokey then proceeded to tell Chrysalis about his dream, and what details he could still remember from it. The changeling queen said nothing as he went on, and by the time he reached the end, Chrysalis was snoring softly.
“Not much of a night owl, are you?” Pokey said with a chuckle, though his own eyes felt heavy. “Seems like you bugs should be nocturnal, for some odd reason. Still,” he yawned “I can’t say this isn’t nice. I’ll probably regret everything in the morning, but for now…”
But for now, and for the first time since Bluebelle, Pokey surrendered to the bliss of the embrace of another mare.
Or whatever female changelings were.
* * ✹ * *
Hokey Pokey did not want to go to work.
His hooves shuffled along the cobblestone road as he slowly picked his way along the path to the palace, and he offered a clipped greeting when anypony called out to him. His mind was tumbling with more thoughts than should be possible, and the hangover headache didn’t help matters at all.
Of course, going to work was better than staying home. Chrysalis had teased him incessantly that morning about his dream—when she wasn’t laughing her head off—so going to the palace at least offered the option of guarding a door or a hallway and being left in peace, if only for a short time.
Hopefully, that time would help him to sort out the mess of feelings that were tangled up in his heart.
Eventually, the steadfast sergeant made it to the barracks, and after getting dressed in his non-changeling armor—though he did have a moment of hesitation when he thought he heard it laugh—he moved out to begin his assigned shift.
“Hey, Hoke.” Sergeant Clover Leaf came up on his right side, playfully bumped into him, and grinned. “You look horrible. Stay up too late playing drinking games with the buggy queen again?”
“No,” he said. “Well, yes, but that’s not the problem.”
“Oh?” Clover’s playful demeanor turned serious in a heartbeat. “What’s up?”
Pokey started to answer, but he hesitated to take in a long, deep breath. “It’s nothing bad. I’m just… thinking.”
“Yeah? What are you thinking about that’s got you so weighed down?”
Pokey snorted softly. “I’m trying to figure out if I have a really brilliant idea, a really terrible idea, or if Princess Luna is just yanking my chain.”
As if on cue, said Princess passed by them, her expression innocent and her demeanor aloof. Her gaze briefly focused on Pokey, but she continued on her way without saying a word to either of them.
“And the worst part is I really don’t want to know,” Pokey finished.
* * ✹ * *
Sergeant Hokey Pokey stood at attention by the doors for the throne room, his eyes fixated on a small spot on the opposite wall. Prince Bean and Princess Celestia were due to be in court for the day, and it was his turn to stand watch as the various petitioners filtered through. Normally, he could endure this part of his employment with a minimum of fuss, but over the past few days, his duty was slowly transforming into torture.
“Sergeant?”
“Princess Cadence, ma’am!” Pokey offered a crisp salute, and he somehow managed to keep his face blank despite the furious snickering coming from his left.
“You and I need to talk.” Cadence shot a death glare at Princess Luna, who showed no signs of stopping her chortles of amusement. “And you need to leave him alone.”
“I have no idea what you mean,” Luna said with a grin. “I have not interacted with Sergeant Pokey at all today.”
Cadence huffed and rolled her eyes. “I understand you had a rather unusual dream a few nights ago.”
“I did, ma’am, yes,” said Pokey.
“And Princess Luna has not offered to help you understand it?” Cadence asked, with a withering glare for her aunt.
“I think she likes laughing at me over it too much, ma’am. Every time I see her, she starts to snicker uncontrollably.”
Luna said nothing, but her expression was full of mischievous glee.
“And what of Chrysalis?” Cadence went on. “Did you tell her about it, too?”
Pokey’s head dipped in embarrassment. “I wish I hadn’t, ma’am. She teases me non-stop about it now. I haven’t had a moment’s peace since I opened my mouth.”
Cadence nodded thoughtfully. “So why did you tell her?”
Pokey shrugged. “I wish I knew, ma’am. I was probably still a little drunk at the time, but… I guess I just let my guard down. I’ll be sure to be more careful in the future, ma’am.”
Cadence gave the sergeant a critical glare, and one corner of her mouth twitched upwards. “But that begs the question of why you ‘let your guard down,’ doesn’t it? You’ve had Chrysalis as a guest in your home for several months now, but this is the first time this has happened. How did she get you to become complacent?”
Pokey hesitated. “I just… I suppose I grew accustomed to her face, ma’am. Well, faces.” Pokey paused again in the hopes that Cadence would say or do anything, and when she remained impassive, he felt himself dragged into more words. “Her smiles, her frowns, her ups and her downs.” It called for a song, but singing on duty was strictly prohibited, and two of the prohibitors were just a short distance away, so he swallowed the notes and continued. “They’re second nature to me now. Like breathing out and breathing in. In a way.”
Finally, one regal eyebrow went up. “And how, exactly, does that happen with a changeling, Sergeant?”
Pokey didn’t answer, but he didn’t need to.
“Look, Hokey, I’m not trying to condemn you or anything,” Cadence went on. “To be honest, I’ve been keeping track of your relationship with Chrysalis, and some time ago, I noticed something. It was small and subtle, but there was a change in how you saw her back then. When she foalnapped Prince Bean and revealed her treachery, you would have struck her down on the spot without hesitation. Now you’re having dreams about working together with her, and the tone in your reports has softened considerably. It’s probably not noticeable to anypony else, but I can see she’s changed you.” Now it was Cadence’s turn to hesitate, and she spoke very deliberately, as if the words were being forced. “And you’re changing her, too.
“So let me get to the point with all of this. When Luna told me about your dream, I decided to offer my assistance. You’re trying to swim in uncharted waters here, and unlike some ponies—” Cadence leveled another death glare at Luna “—I am sympathetic to your struggles. But, the Chrysalis in your dream was right: you need to make a decision about how you feel, or else you’re going to end up heartbroken twice. I don’t want you to go through that all over again.”
“I have been helpful,” Luna noted. “I did not have to tell you about his dream, after all.”
Pokey slowly nodded, but he drew in a long breath. “You’re right, Princess Cadence. I just… I don’t know what to do. I want to forgive her, but she betrayed me and used my position to further her own evil ends. How do I know she won’t do something like that again?”
Cadence offered a knowing smile. “That’s the crux of the whole thing, isn’t it? Trust. You trust that Princess Celestia will raise the sun and that Princess Luna will raise the moon every day. You trust your comrades in the Royal Guard, and you have trust in your own skills and abilities as a guard. Chrysalis betrayed the trust you gave her, pure and simple.
“But to me, it seems like she’s trying to regain that trust. If Chrysalis just wanted to steal love, she could do that anywhere and to anypony. Why does she stay with you? I believe it’s because she doesn’t have to steal your love. She’s getting it freely, so that motivates her to behave, to follow the rules you’ve given her. And I think that road is a two-way street, if you get my meaning.”
Pokey felt his cheeks ignite, and he stammered something that was vaguely dismissive.
“The mind may try to deny it, but the heart knows what it wants,” Cadence offered with a grin. “In the end, you’re the only one who can say if you can trust her again. If you can’t, then don’t torment yourself and cut her out of your life. But before you make your decision, I want you to look deep down in your heart. Ask yourself, in all honesty, how you really feel about her, and how you would feel if she was completely gone.”
Pokey hesitated. “And what… what if I can’t cut her out?”
Cadence smiled. “Quit fighting it, Pokey. Love is always a risky proposition, but so are all of the greatest things in life.”
“I’ll… I’ll think about it,” Pokey slowly said.
“That’s all I want you to do,” Cadence replied. “And I’m here to help you, if you want me to.”
A furious round of snickering interrupted their conversation, and Pokey sighed. “With all due respect, Princess Luna, I thought you were supposed to help ponies when they had nightmares.”
“And indeed I do,” Luna chuckled. “But first off, I am helping you. I am here, and I have brought to you the expert in the matters of love and the heart, have I not? Second, that was not a nightmare. That dream was an expression of repressed urges and desires, and one of the more entertaining ones that I have ever seen, at that. If Chrysalis ever does figure out how to become your armor, please let me know. Perhaps we can enlist the rest of the hive and give them a new purpose in life.”
“I’ll get right on that,” Pokey grumbled. “Right after Chrysalis gets done laughing, too.”
* * ✹ * *
Hokey Pokey drew in another long, deep breath as he entered his house, and after shutting the door, he slowly removed his armor. Princess Cadence’s words were still ringing in his ears, but he still wasn’t sure how to use her suggestions.
“Finally!” Chrysalis appeared out of nowhere and threw herself sideways across his back with a snort of delight. “Check it out, Pokey! I’m your armor! I’ll protect you from the big, bad world!”
“That was funny the first dozen times,” Pokey dryly remarked. “But there’s no way I can do my job with you squishing me like this.”
“I bet you could, if you really tried.”
“Sure. And you’d really change yourself into my armor, if you could.”
“Alas, even I have my limits.” Chrysalis threw a dramatic hoof to her forehead. “But I am looking into the matter, believe you me. If there’s a way to wrap you all up inside me without eating you, I’m going to find it.”
Pokey rolled his eyes, and he began to walk towards the couch with his passenger. “I’m sure you will.”
“So! Why don’t you go get dinner while I work on that?” Chrysalis said with a grin. “I’m starving. I was thinking something spicy.”
Pokey stopped and turned his head so he could look Chrysalis in the eye. A dozen questions sprung to his mind, but he found he couldn’t vocalize any of them.
“What?” Chrysalis asked. “It’s rude to stare.”
Pokey chuckled. “Why don’t you come with me?”
Chrysalis recoiled slightly. “What?”
“It must get rather boring, having to spend all your time in here. Why don’t you come with me to get something from Hào Chī’s, and then maybe…” he stalled. “I dunno. We can go dine al fresco somewhere. Like we used to,” he added in a soft voice.
Chrysalis stared at him for a moment over the top of her pince-nez glasses, but then shrugged. “Fine. I’ll change into my Shutterbug disguise, and we can go.”
Pokey shook his head. “Actually, I was thinking you could go just like this.”
The changeling queen let out a chirp of confusion. “Like this? You really want me to go sauntering around Canterlot as myself?”
“Yup. With the cute glasses, too. How else are we ponies going to get used to you?” he asked.
Chrysalis’ eyes narrowed. “What are you playing at? You’ve always said I can’t be seen like this. Are you trying to get me into trouble?”
“No, nothing like that. I just…” Pokey smiled. “I just think that, since you’re staying here, you might as well be yourself. Your real self. I’ve grown accustomed to your face,” he added sheepishly.
Chrysalis blinked once. Her wings buzzed for a brief moment as she removed herself from his back, and she continued to stare as her hooves touched the ground.
“What did you just say?” she softly asked.
“C’mon.” Pokey chuckled and nodded to the front door. “You know how busy Hào Chī’s gets at this time of night. Unless there’s a reason for me to not trust you?” he added with a grin.
Chrysalis glanced at his offered hoof, and a smirk came as she put her hoof in his. “Just like old times?” she asked.
“Almost,” Pokey said with a grin.
* * ✹ * *
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
965 users online
151,597 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Pokey's drunk dream segment was fun, and it's interesting to see the Pokey-Chryssy romance evolve.
Too bad Luna had to interfear, that was really an amazing dream.
Great chapter! The Pokey/Chrysalis relationship is coming along beautifully. There will still be speedbumps along the way, but what relationship doesn't have them?
Chryssy may need to employ Twilight for the Armor spell
My guess is she is the armor.
Yep. She did it. She got you inside her, Pokey.
I guess this means mission accomplished, and she’ll go back to the hive now, right?
Of course not.
Awww. Wrecking awesome dreams isn’t supposed to be what you do, Lulu! Such harsh, most wow!
This chapter hit me with the feels. It is a good chapter to bring those two closer.
As much as i really like Bean and Celestia’s relationship, now I mostly come for Pokey’s and Chrysalis evolving romance
Awwwww! Also that dream snrk!
derpicdn.net/img/view/2017/1/14/1339238.jpeg
But is she the very model of a modern major general?
Really hoping Pokey and Chrysalis make it as a couple. However, she should never lose her snark.
As far as drinking goes, he made the rookie mistake of not drinking enough water too. The main reason you get hungover is dehydration after all.
This chapter was adorable! I love seeing how Pokey and Chrysalis's relationship is growing. They dream! Wow! We all need awesome dreams like that!!
I'm actually pretty sad it was all I dream; I loved that concept when I first read it and have been kinda dying to see some more of that idea ran with as it were, but oh well...
Still! Great chapter nonetheless!
This was so adorable I think I just got a sugar high <3
it was a very funny and cute chapter.
it is a pity that half was a dream.
Sooner or later, Chrysalis WILL break her limits. She's not letting an idea like that get away from her.
Just...don't screw this up, Chryssy.
You don't want to know what kind of monster you would become if you decided to trust in nobody but yourself.
As sweet as this chapter ended up being, gotta say I feel sorry for Pokey. Poor guy trying to retain what little sanity he has left in the face of some of the most overpowered mares in Equestria. Hang in there man 😔
Also
What a Modern Major Monarch she is
Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
His heart and subconscious are clearly aligned, come on, Pokey, you can do it!
It's so sad that Chrissy finally got him inside her, but only as a dream. If they ever bond close enough to synchronize their consciousnesses like that, their wedding would finally be a foregone conclusion and not just a very likely outcome....
Now that's what we call a digivolution!
There we go. Theres the sap flowing free again.
This was a very enjoyable chapter,I like how their relationship is coming along.
Cute.
Still don't like how Chrysalis doesn't SUFFER here. I feel that you are letting her get away with treason, so to speak. Forgive and forget, make "fun stuff", until bad stuff is simply forgotten. Tell me straight, YES or NO, will she suffer? I don't need spoiler as to what will happen, when or when. I want HER heartbroken, and not the "few minutes on the porch" heartbroken. I want her to suffer the same way Pokey did. When he was completely and utterly betrayed by someone he loved. It doesn't have to be the same way, but rather same intensity.
10571398
In the Changelings' case, it'd be more like the model of a Scientist Salarian.
After all, they've studied species Equine, Griffin, Dragon, and Abyssinian.
10572576
Modern Major Monarch, I like that but I'm pretty sure she'd have to become a Reformed Changeling to get the Modern bit.
Still doing things the old, ancient way.
10573835
Forgive me for waxing philosophical, but whether or not Chrissy suffers to the degree that you want her to will largely be a matter of perspective. My answer to your question would be that from my perspective, yes. She will. The when and the how I won't reveal.
Just bear in mind that what is torture for one person is nothing at all to another. There are those who would say being sociable is the worst sort of torture ever, and then there are others who have no problems at all talking with anybody and everybody, for example.
10574566
I never asked for spoilers, just confirmation that bug over there DOES suffer. And I am perfectly aware that different people suffer differently. That's why I said that it doesn't have to be in same style. I said with same intensity. I want her heart broken. Maybe have her hive find out what she's doing and abandon her? With how she cares about it, it would be a good hit against her.
"That all depends on how you rub me.." Chrysarmor crooned coyly.
With all the anime of living armor and parasitic aliens and Venom and stuff... I'm shocked it took so long for people to do this with changelings.
Pokey wakes up the next morning... inside Chrysalis. "MMMMFFF?!"
Chrysalis burps, "Turns out eating you was the only way."
Lol, vore.
wow a grate chapter. and to tell the truth i did not see Pokey ever making this move to even start to trust Chrysalis ever agene.
It's good to see things progressing between the two. Thanks for the update.
Possibly my most favorite chapter of this yet. I love how this is developing between Chrysalis and Pokey.
10574566
Read a fic where she actually became an ambassador/leader of sorts in Equestriaaftrr being saved by one of her own drones in an unusual series of events. It wasn't so bad
And then there's whatever Georg has going on
For some reason, I can see her saving the day or the wedding itself or something big part that she will be playing.
I must have said this at some point already, but Chrysalis and Pokey are just STEALING this entire story.
The fact they are able to hold entire chapters on their own is honestly a testament to their dynamic.
They are practically on even ground with Celly and Bean at this point.
Heck, part of me wonders if maybe it’d be better to spin Hokey and Chrissy off into their own story. We barely saw much of Celly and Bean’s main suppprting cast, so having Celly and Bean regain control of their series while Hokey and Chrissy start their own feels like the next step.
A Hokey-Chrissy story could also dive into the changelings more too. Just a thought. Again, the fact I’m even talking about this is a testament to how well Hokey and Crissy’s relationship has evolved.
10574342
Lol I just finished ME2 and I got your reference
Appropriate theme song for these two.
For some reason I REALLY love the idea of Changelings transforming into armor.
Congratulations! Your HOKEY POKEY has evolved into a POKEYLIS!
Also let it be said that I said Pokeylis before it was canon. I'll be expecting royalty checks in the mail by the end of the week.
What?
No I don't care that he technically wrote it seven months before I made my comment!!
i'm a bit sad it was just a dream, changeling armor is a neat idea and goes well tot he concept of changelings being symbiotic rather then parasitic
....
Now I can't get the picture of Chtysalis as Eliza out of my head. Jus Chryssi doing what chryssi does, but with a heavy cockney accent. Endless repetitions of 'h' optional.
Police Academy podium flashbacks...
That dream i know as a oneshot story ♡
Bugwaifu get her Pony lover
These two are adorable
The idea of a Changeling being a armor isn't new to me but I really like the romantic aspect...
Classic.
P.s. in Russian he sounds even more impressive.
Reminds me of the Mark Wells universe.
I can imagine someone taking the idea of bug armor and turning it into a clop... poor Pokey
11399641
Yeeah, Goldfur took old changeling armor idea and made it an MLP changeling