29. - Twins
This was it.
Wysteria drew in a long, deep breath as she counted the two hundred seventy-eight tiles and twenty-one overhead lights of the delivery room one more time. All of the exams had been completed, the epidural had been administered, and everypony was ready to proceed.
It was time to give birth to her twins.
Outwardly, Wysteria maintained the calm, professional demeanor that she was renowned for. Inwardly, however, she was a nervous wreck, though she really had no reason to be. Doctor Horsenpfeffer was going to be overseeing the c-section, and the finest surgeons and nurses had been called in to assist at Celestia’s request. Even Banana Split—who was fussing and fawning over her like a mother hen who was eagerly awaiting a new batch of chicks—was there to provide all of her assistance and skill, so the secretary was in the care of the finest staff that could be found.
Those facts had been a great comfort when her mind wandered off, searched out the worst possible way for the twins to be born under, and then offered that for her review.
“Are you sure you want to do this?” Celestia called out, though her words were muffled by the thick metal elevator doors. “The maintenance pony should be here any minute now.”
“Do it!” Wysteria bellowed, her words twisted and deformed into a tartarus-spawned pitch of pure evil as her body was wracked by another labor pain. “I refuse to have my children born out of wedlock, and if I kill Quill now, I won’t be able to collect on his life insurance policy!”
“I think I’ve just about got the door open,” Quill said, his spear wedged in between the uncooperative doors. “There’s no need to do anything rash.”
“Don’t you even start with me!” Wysteria snarled as a darkness worthy of Nightmare Moon began to flood the tiny chamber. “You’re responsible for this!”
“Hey, I’m the one who said you needed to get to the hospital. It’s not my fault you passed off your labor pains as a bad batch of indigestion!”
“Quill, listen to me very closely,” Wysteria’s tone was deadly quiet, and her eyes began to burn a hole through his breastplate. “When Celestia asks ‘do you take Wysteria as your lawfully wedded,’ you will say yes. You will then get these doors open and help deliver my twins, or so help me Luna, I will get you and your sorry flanks knocked back to Private so fast it’ll make your head spin, and while it's spinning, I’m going to rip the horn clean off your head and mount it on my wall as a trophy. Have I made myself clear?”
The captured corporal swallowed hard, and he began levering the elevator doors open with all his might. “Transparently!”
Wysteria shook her head. While she was looking forward to less nausea and a smaller profile the most, she wasn’t going to miss the wild, most-likely-hormone-fueled worst case scenarios that her mind cheerfully offered up to her on a regular basis.
“You holding up okay?”
Celestia’s faithful secretary smiled and tilted her head to Quillpoint. Even with the surgical mask on, she could tell he was just as anxious as she was, but he repeatedly patted her hoof in an effort to provide what comfort he could.
“I’m just the same as I was when you asked thirty seconds ago,” Wysteria said.
“Right. Sorry.”
“Please don’t stop asking,” she added, and she felt a tingle of comfort when she saw his smile in the corners of his eyes.
“So, you doing okay?”
Wysteria nodded. “So far, yes.”
“Has the epidural kicked in yet?”
“I think so.” Wysteria mentally reached out to her extremities. “I can’t feel my rear hooves.”
“Don’t tell Horsenpfeffer, but I told the anesthesiologist to give you a little bit extra,” Mama Nana said in a conspiratorial whisper. “I try to make sure new mommies get a little more just to be sure. I’ll get you set up with your own, Quill, if you ask nicely.”
Quill looked like he might take the offer for a moment, but then he shook his head. “Somepony needs to be standing and upright for this. I might need one after the birth, though.”
Wysteria rolled her eyes and drew in a long but amused breath. “And here I thought all Royal Guardsponies were tough and rugged. I didn’t realize you’d fall apart over one pregnant mare giving birth.”
“In my defense, twins. Also, the section on live births in the Royal Guard Manual is only one page,” Quill replied. “If I’m going by that, I’m just supposed to keep you comfortable while summoning a competent medical professional.”
“So, in reality, you’re doing exactly what you should be doing,” Wysteria noted with a grin.
Quill thought the idea over for a moment. “I suppose I am,” he said softly.
“Hello everypony!” Doctor Horsenpfeffer made her grand appearance, and a pair of ponies followed in her wake, each prepped and ready for the surgery. In a few long strides, the periwinkle professional physician was over to Wysteria’s side, and she patted the secretary’s free hoof. “I think it’s high time we get those little stinkers out of there, don’t you?”
“It’ll be nice to hold down my lunch again,” Wysteria quipped. “When I’m able to have lunch around twins, that is.”
A grunt came from the guard at her side, and her attention moved over to Quill. It was hard to tell with the surgical mask in the way, but to her, it looked like the father of her foals was deep in thought, and was trying to articulate his thoughts but was unable to.
“Well, no time like the present!” Horsenpfeffer announced. “Let’s get started. You remember my colleagues, Doctor Sure Stitch and Nurse Red Heart?”
Wysteria nodded. “Of course.”
“They’ll be assisting me on this end, and Mama Nana will help you and Quill out on that end. Once we get started, things are going to go pretty quick, so just relax as much as you can for me. Shall we begin?”
Wysteria nodded.
“Good! Now, we’re going to put up a screen between us, mostly so Quill doesn’t see something that’ll make him queasy or faint. We want to keep all of our attention on you,” Horsenpfeffer said with a wink. “Mama Nana?”
The midwife swiftly inserted two poles on either side of the bed, and a white sheet was hung between those to block the view. Wysteria drew in another long breath as Nana tucked in the sheet around her chest.
“Let’s test out that epidural,” Horsenpfeffer said from somewhere. “Do you feel that, Wysteria?”
“No, I don’t feel anything.”
“Marvellous! Mama Nana must have given you a little extra,” the doctor said. “Okay. We’re going to make the first incision now. You might feel some pulling sensations, but that’s normal. Doctor?”
“Scalpel,” Doctor Sure Stitch stated.
Wysteria offered a soft, reassuring smile to Quill, whose gaze was firmly on her. “Are you okay?”
“Just fine,” he said. “Do you need anything?”
“My throat is a little dry,” she said.
“Oh! Here, here.” A spoon with an ice chip floated over, and Wysteria took the offering. “I’m not doing so well, am I?”
“I think you’re doing fine,” Wysteria offered. “Just keep doing what you’re doing.”
Another ice chip appeared, and the secretary gently accepted it. Even during the rough patches of their relationship and through their separation, this steadfast guard had strived to perform his duty, and there was no doubt in her mind that he would provide for and be present for his foals.
Perhaps she had been a bit too harsh on him. She knew that she could be pushy, overbearing, and as much as she might not want to admit it, even snide and overly sarcastic. Her duties as Celestia’s personal secretary practically demanded these particular traits—especially when she had to deal with the older, more established noble families who felt entitled due to their long legacies and connections.
But before she and Quill had been sent to the Sandwich Islands by Discord, Wysteria had not needed to separate her personal life from her professional one. Her position required long hours, so by the time she got home in the evenings, she usually only had enough time to take care of a few household chores, and collapse into bed. She didn’t even have any houseplants. Time was a precious commodity, and it always irked her if she saw it being wasted.
Quill had tried, though, to adapt to her demands. As she thought back over when they had been together, she could see the genuine effort he had put into trying to please her and to follow her instructions. He had cut back on his own personal needs to meet hers, and she had never really reciprocated the actions to him.
Yes, it annoyed her when he would plop his fat rump into her favorite recliner and open the newspaper, but surely he was allowed a few moments of peace in a day. His time was highly regimented and always active, and in a way, he had a mirror image of her busy day.
“Quill?” she said, and she snickered as another ice chip quickly appeared. “Thanks, but I don’t need that.”
“What do you need?” he asked, the concern heavy in his words.
It was a worthy question, particularly worthy of distracting her attention from the activity taking place in her numb lower body as the doctors continued their relatively silent process of modern birth. “I think… well, I suppose that… I mean, I want to—”
Her words were cut off when a small, high-pitched cry cut through the air, and her heart leapt into her throat.
“Number one!” Horsenpfeffer proudly called out, and she held up a small foal, still covered and coated in amniotic fluids, over the blind for Wysteria to see. “A beautiful unicorn girl, Miss Wysteria, and she’s got a fantastic set of lungs! Dad, would you like to step over here and help us clean her off?”
Quill glanced to Wysteria, and she nodded to him through the tears that had come unbidden. “Congratulations, Dad.”
Even with the mask, Wysteria could see his smile, and he eagerly moved to the other side of the blind. Another cry split the air, and Horsenpfeffer cheered again before holding up another foal.
“Number two! Another healthy and delightful unicorn girl, Wysteria. Oh, are you in for it now! These two are going to pull every identical twin prank in the book, I can tell. I’ll have to give you some pointers that I picked up with my twins.”
Wysteria nodded and sobbed slightly. She wasn’t sure where this surge of overjoyed emotions had come from, but she didn’t care.
She was a mother to two healthy twin girls. After ten and a half months of sleepless nights, pinched nerves, hormonal mood swings, bizarre food cravings, and more vomit than any pony should ever have to deal with, the ordeal was finally over.
“And here comes number three!” Horsenpfeffer proudly stated.
“Three?!” Wysteria and Quill shouted together.
“Ha!” Horsenpfeffer chortled. “That never gets old! I’m just kidding. We’re done.”
For a moment, Wysteria plotted out how to get the amusing doctor ‘reassigned’ to somewhere near the middle of nowhere, but she forgot all about her nefarious scheme and let out a shuddering sob when Quill reappeared with her foals. Each one was wrapped up so snugly in a pink blanket that they looked like little baby burritos, and with all of the caution and care that he had, her Quill passed the twins to her. She kissed each one on the forehead before pulling them into her tender embrace, and she began to coo to them with tears streaking down her cheeks.
“They’re perfect,” Wysteria whispered.
“Of course they are,” Quill said. “You made them.”
“You helped.” Her horn lit, and she pulled Quill into a kiss. “Thank you.”
“We’ll be done on this end in just a moment,” Horsenpfeffer announced. “Just sewing you back up.”
Quill then cleared his throat, and his magic pulled the surgical mask away from his face. “Wys, I realize this might not be the best time, but I want to talk to you about us.” The corporal hesitated slightly, but he plowed on before Wysteria could say anything. “I know I haven’t been a very good special somepony, and I drive you insane a lot of the time, but I’ve been thinking a lot lately, and I… well, I want to try again.”
“Again?” Wysteria asked. She could not help but glance down at the two quiet foals resting on her chest, then back up at him as if he were planning to make a joke about having an even dozen or something. Thankfully, he was looking quite serious, with unexpected tears trickling down his cheeks and the appearance of absolute sincerity.
“Yeah. I want to make us happen,” he said. “I want to help out with the twins. I want to be a dad to them, and I want to be there with them. And you,” he quickly added. “I want all of us to be together. No visitation rights or any of that kind of stuff. Your daughters should have all of the love and support they can possibly get. You should have all of that, too.”
“They’re our daughters, Quill,” she said with a grin.
A small grin was mirrored back, and he chuckled. “Right. Our daughters. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is… well, Miss Wysteria, I’m saying that we should be a family, and I’m willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. I want to be with you, and I’m going to change so—”
“Stop right there,” she ordered. “I’ve heard enough.”
Quill clamped his lips shut, but only for a moment. “I understand. I’ll get with the attorney, and—”
Wysteria’s magic clamped around his muzzle, and she pulled him so close that his nose was touching hers. “Yes, Quill.”
“Mmpth?”
“Let’s get married,” she went on as her magic released him. “I want you in my life. I want you in our daughter’s lives. And I will do whatever it takes to make that happen. It’s going to take some work, but let’s do it. Together.”
Corporal Quillpoint, at that moment, had a smile as wide as Equestria, and though he denied it ever after, streams of tears slid down his cheeks. “Together,” he repeated.
“So!” Horsenpfeffer said as she came up to the pair, and the sheet separating Wysteria in two was removed by Nurse Red Heart. “What are you going to name your little stinkers?”
“Quill Junior, for this one,” Quill said as he gave the cream-colored twin on his special somepony’s right a little kiss. “Number Two for the other one. That’ll make it easy to keep track of them.”
“I dunno,” Wysteria interjected with a grin. “I was thinking of something else. Why don’t we call this one here Elegant Flourish,” she said with a wiggle for the daughter on her right, “and this one can be Lilac,” she said with a wiggle of the daughter on the left. “Lilac Inkwell sounds pretty, don’t you think?”
Quill nodded. “After your grandmother,” he said with a kiss. “They both sound perfect.” He hesitated, then pointed to both of them. “Wait a minute. Which one is Elegant and which one is Lilac, again? Can we get fetlock bands or something?”
* * ✹ * *
“Twins,” Baked Bean said with a grin, and he glanced over to his own gravid wife as they turned to enter the main garage for the palace. “Wysteria thought she was busy before. I knew they’d be small, but not quite that small.”
“Twins always are a week or two early, and grow into it fairly rapidly,” Celestia replied as she gave him a playful bump. “But they are in the hooves of a most loving mother and father. They’ll both do well.”
“I was a bit surprised to see how gold their eyes were,” Bean went on with a return bump for his wife. “They seemed to be very alert and attentive. They stole their mom’s black hair, that’s for sure.”
“Wysteria did say black manes were a trait of all Inkwells. Perhaps Nilla will have your lovely earth-brown coloring, too.”
“Nah,” Bean scoffed. “She’ll have your colorful streaks, I’m sure. And your eyes. Big, beautiful magenta eyes to drive all the colts wild when she starts dating.”
“We will see,” Celestia said, her magic pushing the doors to the garage.
The Royal Couple said nothing more as they passed the chariots, carriages, and the few mechanics at work in the cavernous room, but their focus remained on a blue unicorn in a star-studded hat and cape who stood just inside the open access door, a brightly painted showmare’s wagon in front of her. Her gaze moved to the pair as they approached, and she offered a quick curtsey to them before speaking.
“Good afternoon, Your Highnesses. Did you come to see Trixie’s amazing exit, stage left?”
“We did,” Celestia said. “But we wanted to offer our most sincere thanks to you one last time before you left. You have done exceptionally well, Miss Lulamoon, and you will be missed. I hope you will bring your show to Canterlot soon. Bean and I will be sure to purchase front-row seats.”
“Thank you,” Trixie said, and she drew in a long breath as her gaze moved back to the wagon. “Well, Trixie supposes this is it. Trixie hates long good-byes, so I will say ‘farewell’ and be on my way.”
“We wish you safe travels and all the best as you do so,” Bean offered.
Trixie nodded, but she didn’t move towards the front of the wagon. For several long moments, she simply stared at the twinkle blue paint that covered the sideboards.
“Is something wrong?” Bean asked with a knowing grin.
Trixie ran a hoof along the rim of the rear wheel, but her gaze remained fixed. “No, nothing is wrong. Trixie just…” she hesitated. “Trixie is just thinking. Out loud, so you don’t have to wonder.”
“Okay.”
“I mean…” Trixie drew in a long breath, then turned to face the royals. “It’s already pretty late into summer, so Trixie won’t be able to earn as many bits as she normally would. I should have left back in early May, to be honest.”
“Understandable,” Bean said.
“And Lieutenant Spear Point still hasn’t given me my last order of fireworks, and I’d hate to run out on the road,” Trixie went on. “Trixie could also use more provisions, and the hammocks are awfully lumpy, and…” the magician-turned-secretary grinned. “And, after all that, I find that I just can’t say good-bye to the friends I’ve made,” she softly finished. “But Trixie will never admit that to anypony else!” she hastily added.
Bean chuckled, and he took one step forward. “You know, Celestia and I were discussing your departure this morning, and we agreed that Wysteria would need help with her secretarial duties, since she has her twins to care for now. Ideally, there should be a dedicated secretary for the Royal Sisters, and a secretary for the Royal Husband. It would be imperative that the two secretaries have a close rapport with one another, and it was going to be extremely difficult to find another with a skill set equal to yours.
“But, given the multitudinous complications that have arisen in regards to your departure, I feel I should present an offer to extend your current employment. Her Highness and My Beanness would be honored to retain you and your services here.”
Trixie tapped her chin, and her grin grew lecherous. “Maybe. Trixie is in high demand, after all, so I think I need a bit more ‘incentive’ to stay here.”
“Fair enough. What say we increase your salary, match ten percent of your retirement contributions, and give you access to that little outdoor area next to the southern gardens once a week for you to practice your stage show. Oh, and a promotion would seem to be in order. Secretary Trixie has a nice ring to it, don’t you think?”
“It does,” she said thoughtfully.
“I think we might even be able to loosen the dress code for you,” Celestia added. “I know the Official Secretarial Collar has long been an irritation for you.”
“Believe it or not, Trixie has actually gotten used to that stupid thing,” Trixie said with a roll of her eyes. “It’s like a proper hat; it makes me look more distinguished, more official. Still,” she added with a sigh, “your offer is most enticing. Really, it would be foolish not to take it.
“So, Trixie accepts your generous offer,” she said with a bow. “I look forward to my continued service to the crown as The Great and Powerful Trixie, the exclusive secretary to His Highness, Prince Baked Bean. And another week’s paid vacation,” she quickly added.
“Of course,” Bean said, and he shook hooves with the new secretary. “We’ll get it all taken care of.”
Trixie’s horn suddenly lit with magic, and in a flash, a scroll appeared in the air before them. Trixie quickly swiped it out of the air, opened the missive, then floated it over to the Princess with a grin. “Message from the Mayor of Appleoosa, Your Highness.”
“You didn’t burp that one up,” Bean noted with a wry smile.
“Trixie figured out how to get messages the normal way,” Trixie replied smugly. “But maybe I’ll still ‘burp one up’ every now and then. I rather like the disgusted look the nobility gets when I do.”
“I rather like it as well,” Celestia said with a warm smile. “Please, carry on.”
* * ✹ * *
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I CALLED IT
Yes
That is all.
Makes much more sense to keep trixie on anyway. Training new employees is a hassle. 😆
New life for a New Year.
Crap, did I miss something? Did Celestia already give birth to Nilla?
10608877
Nope, not yet. Wysteria got pregnant before Celestia did.
I’m surprise they are girls in the end... I thought through the story it was mention or pointing towards her having twin boys unless you changed plans or miss direct us but hey they got beautiful kids which the Dad is going to get confuse who is who
Thank Heaven that Trixie will be staying a little longer.
Also congrats on both Wysteria's twins and her engagement to Quill!
Apologies are also in order for I haven't exactly caught up with the rest of the chapters yet.
Nice to see the original secondary couple back together, and with a whole family to boot!
So Trixie's not leaving after all, huh?... Does that she and Starlight won't become besties when the time comes?
10608907
She just negotiated 2 weeks paid vacation. A lot can happen in two weeks.
Like running into your best friend at the Ponyville spa when doing your first traveling show in years.
10608897
I’m honestly surprised she didn’t ask Princess Celestia to marry them on the spot.
And that she didn’t have both the rings and the paperwork stashed away in Bean’s saddlebags for just such an occasion.
10608885
ah sweet. I hope that we get to see Nilla born soon!
You know, it just occurred to me; how do doctor ponies keep their hooves clean for surgeries? Perhaps they walk on their hind hooves, or maybe all surgeons are unicorns so they can do the fine work without touching the insides of their patient?
I'm ever so pleased those two decided to try again, and that Trixie decided to stay
I spent alot of time wondering who would replace Trixie and only lightly kept any thought of her staying as 2020 went on. Now, having read this, I am thinking '21 is gonna be more smile filled. This chapter started the New Year off right, so Happy New Year everyone.
10609399
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You win this round, Irrespective.
This round...
Sometimes you write your characters. Other times they write themselves.
Identical twins... Poor Wysteria. Great chapter.
Glad to see Wysteria and Quill get back together.
I wonder if Trixie will end up being a better candidate for Vice Headmare of The School of Friendshio because of this experience with being Bean’s Secretary.
I’m glad to see Trixie not only is staying, but she was able to tell the Royals her reasons. It goes to show the growth her character has here, even beyond what we had seen in the show.
And the introductions of the twins was very nice too. It does make me think: when the twins start to wander everywhere, will they keep them in place with a Quill Pen?
Well, I've finally caught up. The only reason I waited is because of a bad habit I picked up a while back where I tend to not read stories until they finish. I just hate having to wait for months for an update because the author has one of those stupid life things. Ugh, what normies...
But the I realized that was making me miss a hell of a lot of great stories, like this one. As usual, your characters are a treat to read, and every chapter leaves me wanting more. Stay awesome, my friend.
Heh, things don't always go according to plan. Sometimes wonderful things happen because of it...
But that's kinda the thing about this series. 😇
So I was in the room with my wife on our first kid and I realized why men pass out. They get so stressed they stop breathing and don't realize it and then pass out
Normally, horses don't have problems giving birth. BUT, baby MLPs have HUUUUUUGE friggin' heads that CRACK THE MARE'S PELVIS RIGHT IN HALF!!
The fatality rate's something like 85%.
And this is what keeps the pones from overpopulating! Natural selection at work!
Except for unicorns. They can just teleport the foal out, because they're superior to the feather brains and mudponies, obviously!
All caught up and great stuff as usual. I'm happy to see Sego got her special somepony and that Wys & Quill will be getting back together. I'm also glad that Trixie is sticking around. Her character has developed so much that it's hard to imagine her not being a regular member of the cast. Keep up the good work.
Trolling the nobility get never old ♡
that's why isn't it!
It's not practicality, magic or skill, it's a centuries old prank on the nobility!
Bean, you'd better not be stealing Trixie away from where she needs to be in time for No Second Prances.
Maybe she goes back to being Assistant Secretary after training someone to take over for her and she does shows in Canterlot regularly, but does shows in whatever town the Royal Couple are going to. There are such things as Court Jesters, and there are several Foals in this AU's cannon now, not to mention all of the ones in the background. I think this Trixie really could do both.
The third one Foal was a great joke!
One birth done, one one to go
Oh my gosh that’s horrible.
So glad she stayed 💙