11. - Hearth's Warming
“Celly! Wake up, Celly!”
Princess Celestia groaned as her husband began to bounce on the bed, and she pulled a pillow over her head. “Bean, you are this close to spending Hearth’s Warming on the moon. What time is it?”
“Three hours before dawn. Oh, don’t pout! Santa Hooves is watching, you know. He’ll put you on the naughty list for sure with that kind of attitude.”
“He’ll understand the ‘why.’ Besides, he owes me a favor or five,” she grumbled, and then she groaned. “Ugh. I think I have a clove stuck up my nose somewhere. If that’s what your family Meganog recipe is like without alcohol, I shudder to think of what next year will bring when you make the real thing.” She gave a brief muffled burp, and ran her tongue around the inside of her mouth. “It’s going to be a month before everything stops tasting like peppermint nutmeg. Nilla is going to be born burping.”
“I did try to warn you about how strong it was going to be. We Beans don’t fool around with our nogs.”
Celestia peeked one eye, and a small grin came as she found her husband’s nose at the end of her own. Her Bean was as eager for Hearth’s Warming as a foal, and she just couldn’t be upset with him. She just needed to control that enthusiasm, somehow, and then release it in a safe and non-destructive manner.
“You are horrible,” she gently offered. “Waking your princess in such a rude manner. Whatever shall I do with you?”
“Turn me loose on Canterlot so I burn off some of this energy?” he offered.
“The city may not survive the encounter,” she giggled. “Are you always like this on Hearth’s Warming?”
Bean nodded. “I can’t help it. Hearth’s Warming is such a wonderful time of year, with all of the gifts, and the parties, and the gifts, and the food, and the gifts…”
“So the truth comes out.” Celestia gave her husband a quick kiss, then began to rise with several pops and groans. Doctor Horsenpfeffer said that pregnancy came with relaxed connective tissue to assist with the birthing process, but her joints popped more than a bowl of popcorn when she got out of bed now. “I, for one, am looking forward to the long winter’s nap that the fables of old always talk about. But if I don’t get up, I suppose I can’t give you your present.”
“I wouldn’t be able to give you mine, either.” Bean bounded off the bed and rushed to the small Hearth’s Warming tree in the corner of their room.
Celestia’s groans and pains immediately gave way to a deep swell of joy. “You got me a present?”
“Several, actually. I had to send Trixie out to get a few of them.” Bean pulled a thin present from underneath and returned to her side. “Care to open one a little bit early?”
Celestia giggled with glee, and she took a moment to admire the festive red wrapping and silver bow. “I almost don’t want to. This paper is beautiful.”
“Luna found that, actually,” Bean noted while Celestia began to carefully unwrap the present. “She was nice enough to let me borrow some. I hope you like it.”
“Oh, Bean!” Celestia smiled as she pulled the striped scarf and knit cap from the box, and she held them up to her cheek. “They’re so soft! Thank you!”
Bean’s smile went from ear to ear. “You mentioned the other day that the cold was getting to you more this year. I thought this might help with that.”
Celestia wrapped the candy-cane colored scarf around her neck, and she played with the long white tassels for a moment before giving Bean another kiss. “It’s perfect. This should keep me very warm.”
“I hope so. That’s pure alpaca wool, so it should do the trick.”
“Ah, so that’s why you snuck away to speak with Ambassador Pastern.” Celestia pulled him into a hug, and her magic teleported a santa hat onto his head. “It’s wonderful, my love. Thank you. Do you have another one for me?”
“Oh, I have a few for you, but you’ll have to wait,” he said with a devious grin.
Celestia gave him a playful pout. “Are you sure you don’t want to give me the rest of them now? I’m curious to see what you got me, and you know I hate to wait.”
“Nope, nope, nope!” Bean shook his head vehemently. “Not happening! You’ll just have to wait and see.”
“Fine,” she huffed. “I guess you’ll just have to wait for my present, too.”
Bean bounded off the bed and pranced towards the door. “I’ll live. C’mon! There’s so much to do today! I’ll go get started on the fruitcake while you get ready. It’s not a Bean Hearth’s Warming without the fruitcake!”
Celestia laughed as her husband disappeared into the hallway, and one hoof went to her stomach. “You’re going to be just as bad as he is, aren’t you, my little Nilla? I hope your Aunt Luna can tolerate his enthusiasm today.”
* * ✹ * *
Baked Bean hummed a happy holiday tune to himself as he skipped to the kitchen. Hearth’s Warming had always been a magical time for him, filled with good food, good friends, and treasured family, and this first Hearth’s Warming with his beloved was bound to be the best one ever. He just knew she was going to love the presents he had picked out for her, and despite his statement earlier, he was dying to see what Celestia had gotten for him, too. He was also sure his parents were going to love the set of Balefire cookware that he had managed to find, and then—
“Trixie?” Bean trotted up to the assistant secretary, who was slowly trudging down the hallway with a distant look. “Hey. Everything okay?”
“Trixie is fine, Your Highness,” Trixie replied in a soft voice. “Just… thinking is all.”
“I thought you would have headed home by now,” he said. “I can go call for a carriage, if you need. Really, you can have the day off. Celly and I have everything covered.”
Trixie gave Bean a sad smile. “Thank you, but that won’t be necessary. Trixie is… well, let’s just say that Trixie doesn’t need to go anywhere today.”
“Really? Why not? I’m sure your family wants to see you for the holiday.”
Trixie gave Bean a knowing sideways glance, and the truth dawned on the prince.
“Oh. You don’t have a family to go to.”
“It’s more that Trixie’s family does not wish to associate with a traitor,” Trixie said as they began to walk again.
“Traitor?”
“Not to the Crown, Your Highness. A traitor to the family. Don’t worry about it. This isn’t the first Hearth’s Warming that Trixie has spent by herself, and it won’t be the last. I always make do.”
Bean felt a crushing wave of guilt wash over him, and he drew in a deep breath. “I’m sorry, Trixie. I wouldn’t have said that if I’d known. Do you want to talk about it?”
Trixie stopped, met Bean’s worried stare with a frown for a moment, and then turned her gaze to her hooves. “Not really.”
“Okay. I don’t want to force you into doing anything you don’t want to.” Bean bit his bottom lip for a moment as he thought. “Well, since you’re here, do you want to make some fruitcakes? It’ll go faster if I have some help.”
“No.” She stuck out her tongue. “Trixie hates fruitcake. They’re gross.”
“Not the way I make them,” Bean said smugly. “I have a terrific old family recipe, and it’s a Bean tradition to have fruitcake on Hearth’s Warming. You’ll love it. I even add a little hint of rum, just to give it some kick. Well, not so little. They’re flammable,” he admitted.
“Rum?” Trixie scoffed and gave him a wary look. “You use rum?”
“I might not drink it, but I cook with it all the time.”
Trixie shook her head. “No, not that. You should use bourbon. It’s much better.”
“Oh?” Bean laughed, and he cheered a little on the inside when the corners of Trixie’s mouth twitched upward. “Maybe I can try it your way, then. Why don’t you come show me how it’s done?”
Trixie shook her head in disappointment, but the smile grew noticeable. “Fine. It seems that the talents of the Great and Powerful Trixie are needed once again.”
“Bean?” Celestia called out as she pushed the door to the kitchen open. “There you are. Oh! Good morning, Miss Lulamoon! I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”
“Trixie doesn’t believe that there is such a thing as a good fruitcake,” Bean explained. “So I could use your help to prove her wrong. Can you grab the brown sugar and pecans?”
“Okay, so maybe your fruitcake isn’t going to be horrible,” Trixie confessed. “But I’d still use bourbon, if I were you.”
Bean chuckled as he whisked the batter for his fruitcake in a large bowl. “We’ll blame my upbringing for my poor ingredient choices, but I always thought it was for the best that I was trained in Salt Lick. For example, if my parents had lived in Manehattan, I would have ended up as a gourmet chef, serving what amounts to a small dab of cat food on a decorative plate for exorbitant prices. There’s no set style in my hometown, no expectations for a particular type of food. You can do whatever you want, really.
“Between us, though, I wouldn’t have minded if my parents had moved to Neigh Orleans,” he continued with a wistful grin. “We went there on vacation when I was young, and I couldn’t get enough of the food there. Every dish we sampled was amazing, and I learned more about spices then than I have before or since. It was one of the first times that I realized that food could be an art form in and of itself.”
“Naturally,” Trixie said with a proud grin, and she stood a little taller. “Neigh Orleans is the only place to go for truly fine dining.”
Bean smirked. “Do I detect a little hometown pride there, Miss Beatrix Lubella Lulamoon?”
Trixie rolled her eyes, and she huffed. “Only what pride I must give, and not an iota more. Trixie may have been raised there, but it is not my home. Not anymore.”
“Will there be any problems if you are required to travel there with us?” Celestia asked. “I believe we have a summit of some sort to attend next month.”
Trixie shook her head. “Non. Trixie, she know the town well, no? She know where her hooves should stay.”
Bean stopped whisking and stared at the assistant secretary.
“What?” Trixie asked after a moment, her flawless cajun accent still in place. “Are you surprised at what votre chère Trixie really is? Trixie think you are ashamed of her, no?” Trixie’s eyes went to the ground, and despite her obvious efforts to hold them back, a few tears crept into the corners of her eyes. “Mama is ashamed, so why not you, too?”
“I have no reason to be ashamed, Trixie,” Bean offered. “I’m just surprised. But in a good way,” he quickly added.
“You’re either the first, or you’re a horrible liar,” Trixie said with her normal snarky speech pattern returning all at once. “Nopony wants to be associated with Trixie.”
“I can think of at least three ponies who would.”
Trixie glanced back up, and she struck the tears away with a quick swipe of her hoof. “That would not change Mama’s opinions. Trixie is too much like her deadbeat, no-good, dirty, rotten, pig-stealing father. Mama never believed that Trixie could amount to anything.
“We haven’t spoken to each other since I started my travelling show. Papa was a magician, and he abandoned Mama to chase a fantasy. She might be willing to talk now since I have a ‘respectable’ job working with royalty, but as soon as she hears that I want to eventually go back on the road, we’ll be right back to where we are now. Unless I change who I am and renounce everything that makes me me, I have no family.”
“That is a most egregious mistake on their part,” Celestia said in a soft and comforting tone. “But I fear that it happens far too often.”
“Yeah,” Bean added. “My parents tried to force me into being something I’m not, too. They never cut me off, though, so it’s not quite the same.”
“It is a very destitute feeling.” Celestia’s gaze drifted towards the past, and a sad smile came to her lips. “We all want to be accepted, and your family is supposed to love and accept you, no matter what. When that is withheld and denounced because of who you are, the cut is so deep that it threatens to be fatal. In the end, you wonder if your very existence was just a large and unwelcome mistake.”
“I think you’re speaking from personal experience here,” Bean noted, and Celestia nodded slowly.
“When Lulu and I left my parents to unify the tribes, our parents renounced us and our mission. They actively worked to thwart us, in fact. I felt betrayed by their actions, and for a time, I regret to say I rejected them as well.”
Celestia’s wing then reached out and pulled Trixie into a comforting hug. “I hope that you can find some comfort with us during this difficult time, Trixie. While you may not have the love of family, you do have the concern and well-wishes of your friends.”
Trixie’s eyes were rimmed with tears, but she smiled. “Thanks, Your Highness. Trixie has to admit that maybe Sparkle is on to something with that whole friendship magic thing. It is nice to know that I’m not going to be alone this year.”
Bean felt a tingle of delight spring out of his heart, both for Trixie and for the fact that he had never endured the pain that she and Celestia had felt. Yes, his parents had been rather pushy, but now that he could compare them to other parents, they really weren’t as bad as he had thought when he first left home.
His internal reflections were shattered when the door to the kitchen burst open, and said parents spilled in with the rest of his cousins, aunts, uncles, and Princess Luna, who was cheerfully chatting with Haricot and Jumping. A cheer of delight flooded the room, and before Trixie could finish saying “what is going on?” the Bean horde attacked the pantry, relieved it of its contents, and began to prepare a feast that would be unrivaled by anything else.
“Princess!” Sergeant Pokey called out as he and Sergeant Clover staggered in and saluted, despite looking like they had just survived a stampede. “Our apologies, Your Highness. We were going to warn you of their arrival, but they were too fast.”
“Never get between a Bean and cooking,” Flageolet warned with a laugh as she set whatever was in her frying pan alight. “Baked! Have you finished the fruitcake yet?”
“Working on it!” Bean called back.
“Miss Trixie! It’s good to see you again,” Flagolet continued. “Come over here, would you? I need somepony to help me with the figgy pudding.”
Trixie didn’t respond right away. Instead, one of her eyebrows slid up towards her mane, and she turned to her employers with obvious confusion.
“You know, if you don’t have a family for the holidays, I could maybe let you borrow mine,” Bean said with a chuckle. “You’ll have to be careful, though. If you help Nana, you may end up as an honorary Bean inductee, and then you’ll be a Bean forever.”
Trixie paused for a moment more, but then she smiled as Flageolet beckoned to her with an eager urgency. “Trixie has heard that Twilight Sparkle and her friends are honorary Beans, so why not the Great and Powerful Trixie as well?”
* * ✹ * *
“You know, Trixie always wondered what a pony meant when they said they were having a bean feast,” Trixie commented as she patted her stomach and let out a contented burp. “I had no idea they meant that your family was going to provide the food for their party.”
“Make sure you get more once you’ve digested a bit,” Flageolet said with a pleased grin. “There’s still plenty left. Pinto, did we ever get around to trademarking that term? No? A shame; we could have made a fortune on selling the rights.”
The air filled with pleasant chuckles to that as everypony settled into the plush cushions and pillows that had been placed in the grand ballroom. The bonfire roaring in the nearby fireplace provided a warm glow, and the ornaments on the Hearth’s Warming Tree sparkled with all of the cheer that Hearth’s Warming could offer.
But nopony cared about all of that, of course. It was time for presents, and the haul under the tree was impressive, to say the least. Bean’s cousins squirmed and wriggled in anticipation, and there was a distinct possibility that one of them would take a flying dive into the cache if they were left waiting for much longer.
“All right,” Garbanzo held up a hoof to get everypony’s attention. “Since this is Baked’s house, I think he should play Santa this year. Is everypony okay with that?”
The vote was unanimous in the affirmative, and Bean took a moment to straighten his santa hat before moving to the outer edge of the pile. “Let’s see. I think Trixie should get the first gift.”
“Me?” Trixie squeaked.
Bean nodded, and he handed a thin, flat box to her. “Go ahead. I helped Celly pick this one out. I think you’ll like it.”
Trixie took the present with a smile, and her magic made quick work of the wrapping paper. Everypony leaned forward as she removed the lid, and Trixie gasped when she pulled the tissue paper aside.
A large silver clipboard was nestled in the box, with a spot for a spill proof inkwell and extra metal quill holders, and when Trixie pulled it out to look at the back of it, she found it had been embossed with colorful sapphires shaped to resemble her own cutie mark.
“That’s the premium, tarnish-free silver,” Bean noted with a gleeful smile. “Celestia also imbued it with an enchantment to keep it from being lost or stolen. I also believe that comes with two week’s worth of vacation, on top of what you normally receive.”
Trixie started to say something, but she stopped when her eyes happened to notice an inscription on the bottom of the clipboard. “‘To Trixie, who truly is Great and Powerful.’” A few tears of joy trickled down her cheek, and her gratitude glowed brightly in her expression. “Thank you, Your Highnesses. I’ve never received a present like this. I will always treasure it.”
“You’re welcome,” Bean said with a joyful smile that matched Trixie’s. “Let’s see. I think Luna should be next.”
Luna let out a small cry of delight, and her magic snatched the gift from Bean’s hooves. “Good! Celestia always insists on going youngest to oldest, and I hate to wait. I am also most pleased to see that this is a princess-sized gift.”
“Well, you’d probably banish me to the Everfree if I tried to give you a smaller one,” he quipped as the wrapping paper was swiftly removed, crumpled into a ball, and then thrown at Celestia. Luna then took a moment to look over the elegant black case in her hooves, and she grinned slightly as she touched the crescent moon that was engraved on the lid.
“I think I know what this is.” Luna gently opened the case, and her grin became a pleased smile when her magic removed an exquisite black book with silver gilded edges. “And I am right. I hope you did not just give me that copy of Star Struck’s biography that Twilight Sparkle gave you.”
“I didn’t. That book is still in the drawing room,” Bean said with an encouraging nod. “This particular copy of The Life and Times of Prince Star Struck, Triarch of Equestria and Most Eternal Mate of Princess Luna is the first in a soon-to-be-published second edition, with expanded annotations and extensive cross-references to other historical documents.”
Luna smiled as she glanced over the title page. “Thank you. Perhaps I should ask the author for an autograph; I hear that adds value. But what is this other…” She trailed off as her magic pulled a second obsidian book from the velvet-lined case, and her eyes darted over the cover. “Is this what I think it is?”
“It is.” Bean simply said.
“What is it?” Lentil asked while Luna eagerly opened the book and began to look over the pages.
“It’s another biography of Star Struck, but this one was written by Luna,” Bean answered. “We’ve been working on it together for a while now. As soon as the Princess gives her approval, a ten thousand copy first edition will be published. The Royal Publisher even suggested that the two books could be sold together in a package deal.”
“I shall be sure to provide everypony here with a copy, if you would care to have one,” Luna added. “Thank you, Bean. This truly means more to me than you realize.”
“You’re welcome,” Bean offered with a dip of his head and a smile. “Let’s see. I think I’ll pick Celestia next.”
“Augh!” Fava groaned. “Are you kidding me?!”
“You’re next, you’re next!” Bean reassured with a laugh, and he passed a bright red box to his wife. “This one is from Grandpa Soy and Aunt Sieva.”
“Thank you,” Celestia offered as her magic removed the wrapping paper. “Perhaps it is my own personal toque for when Bean and I come to help at the Zuerst?”
“Can’t say,” Sieva said with a devious grin. “It’ll ruin the surprise.”
Celestia laughed with the others as she finished opening the present, and her magic removed a pair of knitting needles, a skein of green yarn, and a half-finished blanket. Lima and Garbanzo gasped when they saw the present, but before they could say anything, Soy chuckled and pointed with a hoof.
“Pole loved to knit in her free time,” he explained with a wistful grin, “and when she heard you were pregnant, she immediately started to make a baby blanket for Nilla. Sieva and I talked it over when I moved to Salt Lick, and we both agreed that she would want you to have it.”
It was now Celestia’s turn to fight back tears. “Then I shall finish it in her honor, and it will be Nilla’s first blanket. Thank you so much, Soy and Sieva.”
“Is it my turn yet?” Fava moaned.
“I hope Santa gave you a lump of coal,” Bean said with a laugh as he handed a gift to his impatient cousin.
* * ✹ * *
“You know, for as much as I love my family, they can be a bit overwhelming when they’re all together at times,” Bean remarked as Celestia shut the door to his private chambers. “This quick breather to set the sun and bring up the moon should help me recover some endurance.”
“The Beans are quite the energetic bunch,” Luna added with a nod. “But I would propose that is not a bad thing.”
Bean nodded, and he hummed a happy note as the three royals crossed the empty room and walked out on the balcony. “Yeah, they’re pretty cool, as families go. I gotta admit that this has been one of the best Hearth’s Warmings ever.”
“It has been, and we still have the evening to enjoy together,” Celestia said, her wing wrapping around her husband as she moved the sun below the horizon and Luna brought up the moon. “Thank you for making it so wonderful. I can’t wait to use those bath soaps Lentil gave me.”
“You’re welcome.” Bean gave her neck a quick nip. “And thank you for everything, too.”
“Of course, my dear Bean. But I still have one more present for you.”
“You do?” Bean let out a small squee of delight, and Luna chuckled. “I thought we were all gifted out.”
“Not quite. Come in here, and I’ll introduce you.”
“Introduce me to who?” Bean took one step into the room and found out.
At first sight, he didn’t want to believe. As an only foal, Bean’s youth had been filled with parental attention to the point where one might consider him to be slightly, but not too much and excusing the pun, spoiled. At Hearth’s Warming season every year, even that slight tinge of brat faded away in exchange for the bright-eyed and sincere need to be on Santa Hooves’ Good List. No dirty dish was safe from severe scrubbing, no hoof unpolished, no good deed left undeeded. After all, Santa Hooves knew if every little pony had been good or bad, and the pile of gifts under the tree reflected that behavior, so naturally Bean’s first thought was that he had left an empty cocoa cup behind with his family instead of putting it in the sink.
“glurp fadable Hooves?” managed Bean at the unexpected and completely unbelievable sight.
“Ho, ho, ho,” announced the huge reindeer sitting casually on Celestia’ best oversized chair. “Happy Hearth’s Warming, Baked Bean!”
“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh!” Bean squealed, and for a moment, he couldn’t move. It was really him! The Reindeer in Red himself, the Big Cheese, the One and Only!
Santa chuckled at the overawed display, and that deep, resonating tone was exactly as Bean had always imagined it. Everything about the legendary bringer of Hearth’s Warming gifts was just as he’d been told, from the broad spread of his antlers to the flowing white beard, and from the joyful twinkle in his eye all the way back to his rotund midsection.
Even his hat and coat were a dead match to what he had seen in paintings and on the holiday cards he sent out to his friends.
“Well, don’t be rude.” Luna gave Bean a nudge. “Go introduce yourself.”
Bean’s eyes went wide in horror. “Oh! I am so sorry, Santa! I mean, Mister Hooves! I just never thought that I would meet you in real life! It’s a tremendous honor!”
“The honor is mine, Your Highness,” Santa replied, his voice a deep bass that resonated with all that was good and right with the world as he shook Bean’s hoof. “I’ve been wanting to make your acquaintance ever since I received the wedding announcement. I hope you’ll forgive me for not attending, but I do have a reputation to maintain.”
“I totally understand,” Bean said, but then his brain skipped another cog. “Wait. You got a wedding announcement?”
Santa chuckled again. “I did. I’ve known Celestia and Luna for a long, long time, and they are two of my dearest friends. I was so happy to hear about your marriage that I permanently added you to the Nice list.”
“Oh, well,” Bean stammered. He was pleased to hear that, but he still felt embarrassed over the praise. “I didn’t really do anything. I just fell in love with a princess, that’s all.”
“One day you’ll realize how remarkable that really is,” Santa said. “Now then! It’s been a long Hearth’s Warming, and I have been looking forward to your hot cocoa all day, Celly. If I may be so impertinent, I should like to hear all about your life with Baked Bean.”
“Cocoa?” Bean asked.
“At the end of every Hearth’s Warming, Santa comes to visit with us. We typically spend the time catching up and reminiscing about old times,” Celestia explained. “Something like a vacation after several hectic months filled with preparations for the holiday.”
“That reminds me,” Santa cut in. “I’m afraid I’ll need to have you make some repairs to the sleigh this year. I was forced to make an emergency landing after Derpy’s overeager welcome in Ponyville. The missus stayed behind to convince her that she wasn’t going to be put on the naughty list because of what happened.”
“Of course,” Luna said. “I’ll have our finest ponies put to work on it immediately.”
“We fix your sleigh for you?” Bean asked.
“Naturally,” Santa said with another chuckle. “It was Celly and Lulu who provided it to me when I first started out, and who better to effect repairs than the manufacturer?”
“I have so many questions to ask now.” Bean began to prance in place, but then he stopped. “But I guess they’ll have to wait for another time. Everypony is still waiting for me downstairs. It’s not Hearth’s Warming without the fruitcake, but they won’t start serving it until I get back.”
“You know, Santa, Baked Bean did not send you a letter this year,” Celestia said, a mischievous twinkle in her eye. “And I did notice that you did not bring him a present this year.”
Santa let loose a deep, hearty laugh to this. “You are quite correct, Celly. Baked Bean, what would you like for Hearth’s Warming?”
“I don’t need anything,” Bean replied. “I already have my wife, my family, and my friends. What else do I need? Unless,” he hesitated, mulled over his thought, and then smiled sheepishly. “I know you prefer to remain unseen, but would it be too much if I asked you to come visit my family? I know they’d all love to meet you.”
Santa gave Bean a sideways smile, one that indicated he was both amused and wary of the suggestion. “That is a rather unusual request.”
“You do owe me a favor or five,” Celestia added, her wing reaching over and pulling Bean into a hug. “And his family is my family now.”
Santa let out a playful huff. “I suppose I could, just this once. But only if me and the missus get some of that fruitcake you mentioned, Bean.”
“I made extra, just to be safe,” Bean said as everypony laughed. “I’ll even give you the recipe, if you like.”
* * ✹ * *
Sergeant Hokey Pokey drew in a long and heavy breath as he came to a halt in front of the door to his house. Hearth’s Warming was usually one of his favorite holidays, but he had been unable to find the same joy that he usually did this year. The Bean family party had reminded him that the one pony who he had wanted to share this Hearth’s Warming with was nothing more than an illusion, purposely created to deceive him, and it hurt to think that he would be unable to enjoy the holiday in the same way Baked Bean did with his.
Pokey slid the key into the lock and gave it a twist. Chrysalis and her little bugs were probably out and about, trying to steal as much love as they could from the festivities, and he was not looking forward to dealing with the aftermath of her actions. But he felt like he was responsible for her, since he was the one who was “dating” her, so he grunted and chalked up the misery he was mired in as a fitting punishment for allowing himself to be deceived in the first place.
Once inside his modest home, Pokey tossed his helmet onto the nearby chair and flicked the light switch with a wing. No light came with the motion, however, and Pokey gave the unresponsive switch a few more tries before he gave up and peered into the darkness.
“You can come out now, Chrysalis,” he said with a heavy sigh. “I know you’re here.”
“Welcome home, my Pokey, and Happy Hearth’s Warming.” A pair of green eyes appeared in the darkness, and a fang-filled smile split open just below them. “I’ve been waiting all day for you.”
“How did you get in here? I changed all the locks.”
“I came down the chimney.” Chrysalis slowly strutted into the beam of moonlight that was filtering in from the window, a santa hat dangling from the tip of her horn, and she flung herself across his couch. “Ho. Ho. Ho.”
Pokey hesitated, his eyes lingering on the fishnet stockings and the skimpy green negligee that she was wearing. “Right. Of course you did.”
“Have you been a good little colt this year?” Chrysalis purred in seductive glee. “Or are you on the naughty list? I do hope it’s the latter.”
Pokey’s eyes snapped back to hers, his face fixed in a frown. “Get out.”
“Oh, but I’ve been a good little bug, I promise!” Chrysalis licked her lips—which were far blacker and glossier than normal—and then puckered them slightly. “I haven’t stolen an ounce of love all month long! Surely that means I’m on your nice list this year.”
“You’re not,” he muttered. “I’m serious. Get. Out.”
“And I haven’t even given you your present yet,” she hummed, and she slid a hoof to her rear hip with a toss of her mane. “I think you should open it now, don’t you?”
“I don’t care!” Pokey ripped open the front door and jabbed a hoof at the snow-covered sidewalk. “I want you out of here! Now! The last thing I want is to spend the rest of this miserable holiday with the creature who made it miserable to begin with!”
Chrysalis pouted, and she sniffled as she stood. “Well, if that’s how you really feel about it…”
“Spare me the crocodile tears, will you? I’m not in the mood.”
“I mean, I took the time to clean and polish my chitin for you, and I even bought the hat.” She slowly reached up and removed her headwear as she shuffled to the door. “I was going to steal it, but then I thought that my dear Hokey wouldn’t like that, so I used my own bits and everything.”
“OUT!” Pokey roared.
“And now I’ll have to spend Hearth’s Warming all by myself. Alone. Without anypony else to—”
Pokey slammed the door as soon as she was halfway outside, which provided him with a moment of satisfaction at having cut her sob story off prematurely. He had wanted to give her a kick in the flanks while she left, but he was sure the door had provided a reasonable approximation of the sensation.
He then went to his kitchen, rummaged through the meager offerings in his icebox, and produced a bottle of champagne that he did not remember buying. His gaze then drifted to the two wine glasses that stood on his counter, waiting eagerly for the moment when their services would be needed.
Pokey drew in another long breath. He hated Chrysalis. He knew he did. But somehow he knew she had been telling the truth when she said she hadn’t stolen any love, and even if her motivations were selfish, she was trying to spend an evening together with him. It would probably be far easier for her to simply cut her losses and move on to the next sap in line, but yet she clung on like a tick, despite his harsh treatment of her.
And, if he was being honest with himself, her flanks were rather nice. For a bug, that is.
With a groan of annoyance, he moved back through his house and pulled open the front door, champagne bottle still in hoof. As he had expected, Chrysalis was still sitting on his front porch, but he was surprised to find her back was to him, and that she was crying, of all things.
“Hey.” Pokey sat down next to her, and he took a moment to study her face.
“I really did try,” she whispered. “Do you know how hard this was for me on today of all days? The only pony that won’t even drip a drop for me, and I waste the whole day getting ready. Love practically gushes out of every pony in this whole town, but no, I wanted to make you happy!”
Pokey really wished that she was lying about that point. It would have saved him from the horrible guilt that was building in his chest. “You did?”
She glanced up to him, and the last little bits of doubt were dashed to pieces. “You really don’t care about me, do you? You’ll always hate me, no matter how hard I try.”
“I don’t totally hate you,” he said softly. “I’m actually impressed that you managed to behave yourself for a whole day. And your chitin really does look nice. I like how it shines.”
“Liar.”
“You would know if I was lying.” Pokey reached up and tilted her chin until her eyes met his. “Do you secrete some kind of special mucus to get it that way?”
“Floor wax,” she admitted with a roll of her eyes. “I found some in your storage closet. You’re going to need more now, by the way. I used two coats while waiting.”
“Ah.” Pokey hesitated, but then he stood and offered a hoof. “C’mon back inside. It’s Hearth’s Warming, after all, so I’m willing to call a truce for the night.”
“But you’re just going to hate me again after tonight, aren’t you?”
“I still hate what you did,” he slowly replied after a lengthy pause. “But to be totally honest, I’m not as mad at you personally as I once was. Why don’t we talk things over inside, where it’s warmer? I’m no chef, but I have picked up a few cooking tips from the Prince, and I could make a pasta salad really quick.”
Chrysalis sniffled, but a small smile was struggling to emerge. “I’ve never had a pasta salad before.”
“I can’t promise it’ll taste good, but it should be edible, at the least. Unless you bugs don’t eat pony food.”
Chrysalis blew a raspberry at him, and then stood. “We have to eat pony food. We’d never be able to deceive you if we didn’t.”
“So, when you told me you liked chocolate cheesecake, were you telling the truth? Back when you were posing as Bluebelle, I mean.”
Chrysalis grinned slightly. “That’s for me to know and you to find out. A girl has to have some secrets, after all.”
* * ✹ * *
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Yaaaay! Chryssy and Pokey make-up begins!
HUG THAT BUG, DAMN YOU.
Amazing Chapter and happy Hearts Warming to you.
Grear chapter!
Do I sense a Holes reference?
Again a amazing chapter and perfect timing. Today is my family Christmas party and they are exactly like the bean family in every way during Christmas parties.
If the opening of the next chapter isn't Pokey doing the HugABug, we riot! (Jk)
10002129
That whole *parargraph* is straight out the book...
I love everything about this chapter!
Oh the little one is gonna be so much worse thanks to uncle Discord
"pig-stealing" ?
Pokey's a regular old Chryssie detector these days huh
This keeps up, and Chryssy might end up with an upgrade from "villain" to merely "scoundrel".
10002153
All honesty... I haven't read the book in... 6 years? The movie 4 years.
🤷♂️
Atlantis reference, very nice.
Interest point, me and my friends find out about Trixie father too (which was a surprise) and according to an interview with one of the creators. Trixie mom never told him, so he doesn't know he has a daughter. So…yeah in cannon it was the mom that probably had a one night stand, found out she was pregnant, run away and the dad never saw her ever again. Don't know if she did it out of spite, shame or anger but in this case, can you really consider a dead beat who abandon his family when he didn't even knew he had a family to begin with?
It one of the many sad things that I hope the comic answer 'would Trixie, and her dad ever meet?'
Anyway, great chapter and a great for all of us to have, so the only thing left to say is: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a very good night!
Happy holidays
Chrysalis is behaving herself, for the most part, and trying to take Pokey's feelings into consideration by not stealing. Color me impressed.
So Luna got an advance readers copy of her book. Nice.
"the best Hearth’s Warming ever.”
a grate chapter.
Hm, I suspect a second chapter soon, because I know there's more we worked on.
So.
How far along is the pretty portly princess pony's prestigious pregnancy? I'm curious just how beautiful she's gotten, and how close we are to baby alicorns ruining everything.
(I actually liked Flurry Heart. It is the MASSiVE plot hole that is the Crystal Heart, and the whole Foal's Forbearance spell, that I fnd insanely stupid. I mean, if the Crystal Heart is truly so damn important, how did the City survive after Sombra stole it???)
10002426
What? A second Hearth's Warming chapter soon? That's just silly. Everybody knows it takes me a couple of weeks to crank out new chapters.
i.gifer.com/MT9s.gif
Okay, so maybe there will be something tomorrow. Maybe.
10002434
Celly is roughly 5-6 months along. I lost track, to be honest.
10002408
Thanks!
10002392
I figured that would be a good gift to give. :)
10002389
Hey, she did say when she wants something, she gets it. She's a very dedicated bug.
10002373
Happy Holidays to you too!
10002284
I may delve more into Trixie's back story in the future. Depends on if it'll help the story.
And Merry Christmas to you too!
10002232
I just can't help myself. :)
10002202
Hey, scoundrels are evil too. Right?
10002187
You don't want to know about the pig. Trust me. :)
10002170
Thanks!
10002151
I may have something just a bit better than that...
10002141
I've got a few family parties to partake in, myself. No fruitcake, though. :)
10002129
You do indeed! Double points for you!
10002098
Happy Hearth's Warming to you too!
10002096
Hug that bug! Hug her good!
10002465
Well as long as you have fun in those parties it will be worth it. Merry Christmas
Oh my God, Bean freaking over Santa was adorable
Happy Hearthswarming!
Chrysalis's entrance in this chapter reminded me of Helga Sinclair's entrance in Atlantis. They even say the same line as to how they got in hahaha.
I'm very grateful that Bean's inviting Trixie into his family in this chapter, it really warms my heart. Plus I imagine Santa Hooves being voiced by James Earl Jones.
Plus here's hoping that things will gradually improve between Pokey and Chrysalis after this chapter.
Trixie is too much like her deadbeat, no-good, dirty, rotten, pig-stealing father.
You must take madame Zecora up the mountain and let her drink from the water.
10002687
Happy Hearth's Warming to you too!
10002702
Hee hee hee.
10002712
Oh, I think things will get rather interesting in their relationship...
10002857
"If only, if only, " the woodpecker sighs
"The bark on the trees was as soft as the skies."
If only there was a Bean under the Tree for Christmas
10002873
No doubt. Also I'm impressed with how huge Bean's family is, about rivals the Apple family in size.
Merry Christmas Beans!
You too Irrespective!
10002970
Merry Christmas to you too!
10002949
I think the Apples have them beat, but the Beans are a young bunch...
I imagined the scene at the end with chryssy was like an odd version of "Baby It's cold Outside", but she's trying to break in instead of leaving and Pokey trying to convince her to leave, song ends with him reluctantly letting her stay.
If I were a cleverer person right now I'd try to fake some parody lyrics
Bean is such a joy to read.
However, the meat of this chapter cake with Chryssy, Hokey, and Trixie. Can’t wait to explore more with them. It’s amazing how big this series’ ensemble has grown.
10003053
This, we need this!
*four months later* Pokey , you ready to meet your progeny?
That is so heartbreakingly adorable. This Chrissy is just the troublemaker, trying to be lovable and cute for her envisioned Prince Charming. Hug that bug. Deep down she’s a good bug.
*rubs my eyes* Trixie's cajun?... Trixie's cajun! WOOT! SCORE ONE FOR DA BAYOU!! on the grounds of cajun blood in my veins
+50 respect points for Cajun Trixie and the “Holes” reference... that movie was a big part of my childhood
But then, the donor of the wool showed up... from inside a vase on the mantle.
mane6.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/10/pacasweater1.png
Celly and Bean watched as the living slinky bounced about the room. "Holy mother of Me," Celestia whimpered. "Faust made ANOTHER Pinkie!"
Pinkie and Paprika then touched... and the world just spontaneously asploded. Twice. Discord was delighted.
"Now," Trixie continued. "If can whip up a pinecone soufflé, on the other hoof..."
What if your life's goal is to become a cannibal psychopath who obsessed over a psychiatrist named Clarice?
Alondro looks thoughtful, "So this ISN'T the Ponyverse where the previous Dragon Lord to Torch ate Loony and Celly's parents alive... huh, now I need to re-analyze everything!" He starts tearing down his convulted flow charts with all the connecting threads of yarn all over the living room.
… so delicious!" Cannibal psychopath theme re-visitation! HUMOR 101!! YOU WILL LAUGH NOW!!
Mmmm… imma still beat Chrysalis with a tire-iron. But only HALF as much as I'd planned to.
Rereading this, I'm not sure if it's just because I've read something else before, but I swear this should be their second Hearth's Warming?
I can't shake the feeling of a First Nightmare Night, where Bean helped Celestia come to terms with the holiday now that Luna's back, but I may be misremembering. I'm not talking about the flashback.
Which would be weird that they'd have two NMNs but just one HW, unless NMN is after HW...I mean Winter Wrap up DID air after Running of the leaves, so...Discord really messed nature up didn't he?
10179146
I can explain. :)
Towards the end of No Nose, there was a Nightmare Night chapter, but that wasn't the official NMN chapter. It was what Nightmare Night could look like.
That's where the confusion is at.
Pray, forgive me. I enjoyed this Chapter, but I have no idea what was being implicated with Trixie. Is there more to her estranged mother than her perusing the profession of the father who abandoned them, or I am not wise enough in the ways of the world to read in between the lines?
10186463
That's pretty much it. Trixie mom doesn't approve of Trixie being a magician, since that is what Trixie's Dad went into.
I don't think bug deserves this happy ending. She didn't suffer nearly enough. She doesn't seem rpentant of what she had done in the past. From what I gathered she tries to ignore and forget what happened in the past, not acknoledge and work past it. She doesn't want to admit she was wrong about it ALL.
I love that you made Trixie a cajun. Does that mean she's fluent in creole prench or would that be vulgar prench?
Wait, the bonus chapter of No Nose was their first Nightmare Night together... and then they had another Nightmare Night in this story. So... how is this their first Hearth's Warming together?
10609266
The trick I used to cheat it and have only one NMN is in the preface to the NMN chapter in No Nose Knows:
-Irrespective, emphasis added.
... Headcanon accepted
"Did someone say head cannon?"
Celestia n-
*explosions*
"Princess, an army has invaded Canterlot!"
"What? How did they get past all our defenses? What do they want?"
"To cook a feast your Highness."
"... So it begins."
Nice ref!