• Published 27th May 2019
  • 1,711 Views, 29 Comments

Simple Math - Hierolephant



Twilight thinks back on her many adventures and realises that something about Celestia and Luna doesn't add up.

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You were HOW old?

Author's Note:

Soooo...This is mostly a rant, and (possible)explanation of the implications. I don't know exactly where this rabbit hole goes, but....yeah.

"You were really raised by Starswirl the Bearded?"
Celestia looked up from her tea in surprise. She was not surprised that Twilight would ask about that topic, but rather that there was a wariness to it, compared to Twilight's usual filly-like enthusiasm when it came to anything Starswirl.

Twilight fidgeted in her seat at the silence. "I'm sorry Princess, but I was just doing some thinking now that all the excitement's over, and I have some questions, if you don't mind?"

Celestia smiled. "Oh Twilight, you know you don't have to be so shy about questions. There is no such thing as a bad question and I'm always happy to answer yours. And yes; Starswirl raised myself and Luna, in the Castle of the Two Sisters. I barely remember the time before we knew him, we were so young. Oh, and the lessons Twilight, the lessons! You would have loved them! He taught us everything he knew. Though, I suppose now, you can grill him on magic directly, if you'll pardon my Griffon."

Twilight perked up, wingtips fluttering in excitement, but she quickly pulled them back in. "Oh yes, I've got so many scrolls full of topics I...I mean, ahem, I just wanted to ask...how old were you and Luna when the Pillars were sealed in Limbo? Comparatively, I mean; to a normal pony."

Celestia's smile became just the tiniest bit brittle. "I think...oh, let me see now...I was always just that little more developed than Luna, and she had just started reading independently...a few years younger than your friends' sisters, I believe. Neither of us had quite grasped what death truly meant, in the sense of 'never coming back'; we waited so long for Starswirl to return and- Twilight, are you quite alright? You're looking rather pale."

Twilight grinned a little too wide, her hoof tracing nervous circles on the table. "Hehe, no, I'm fine! But, uh...remember when Tirek really started to come back and we sent Discord after him? Something you said really...well, it threw me worse than a buck from Applejack." She inhaled sharply, taking a book embossed with the stylized golden head of a unicorn out of her saddle bag and flipping it to a certain chapter.

"So, you were explaining about Tirek…that his brother Scorpan came to know friendship-" she flipped the illustrated pages as she spoke, until she put a hoof on one in particular. "-and befriended Starswirl the Bearded."
She swallowed, not daring to look up at Celestia.

"And then Scorpan told you and Luna of Tirek's intentions before returning to his homeland, while Tirek was arrested and jailed in Tartarus."
In this picture, the Chimera-like Scorpan stood supplicating two adult Alicorns.


Twilight's tail swished behind her nervously. "Princess, I...look, I really don't want this to add up! We've just established that yourself and Luna were extremely young when the Pillars were sealed, but before that, the both of you were already ruling Equestria! At the least, Scorpan came to you two about Tirek and not the Pillars, who would still have been around!"

She was pacing now, shoulders tense and voice gradually rising in volume.
"And! When Starlight asked the Pillars about Stygian, they said that they were all living together in the Castle of the Two Sisters! Two foals. Have. A Royal. Castle. Complete with Guards, considering we found bits of armour and helmet all over the place before we gave up trying to clean it up. I even found your foalhood diary about you and Luna playing in the secret passages!
No, I'm getting off-track a bit here.
Oh yes! The Pillars were all living in the Castle with you. Yet you and Luna never met them. You only had Starswirl, and maybe a few guards, I don't know, but you were completely isolated!
And then! Here's the clincher; the Pillars make a brave and noble sacrifice, yes, but they left two, mentally and emotionally immature foals, to run Equestria."

Deprived of precious oxygen, Twilight abruptly and sharply inhaled, with a high-pitched wheezing sound.
"I just...thinking about the Crusaders having to run Equestria by themselves, I...no, I'm not even going there."

Celestia found herself examining the gold of her shoe. Herself, Luna and Cadence all had them, as well as peytrals, but Twilight did not have one. Celestia, herself, felt as naked as a freshly-reborn phoenix without them, because she had never not worn them, save to sleep. She was Alicorn, a Princess, it was her right to such finery and a symbol of her duty to the ponies of Equestria. A duty that never ended, and one she didn't even fully remember taking up. She scarcely remembered those carefree days of just her, Luna and the guards running through the Castle's secret passages; she'd have to ask Twilight if she still had her diary.

Speaking of Twilight, she had finally collected herself, and Celestia felt no small measure of pride as her (former!)student gathered her courage and stared her down.

"Princess...Celestia, please understand. I'm 96.7% certain that Starswirl was...uh, grooming you and Luna to rule Equestria in the manner of Foal Monarchs of the Ancient Unicorn Tribe. I'm not entirely sure why though, having met him now; he didn't seem at all like he wanted to be a Shadow Regent and seemed quite happy about your current status."

Celestia had already made the same connections Twilight had, but emotionally, she was floundering. Before Starswirl and the Pillars had been sealed, she and Luna had been, the admittedly unofficial, rulers of their little corner of pre-Equestria. But after the sealing, that had been when the newly-united Three Tribes had come to their little land of friendly, accepting towards all, ponies of all kinds. Even the nocturnal Thestrals and Crystal Ponies on the North border. The leaders of the Three Tribes had come to the two fillies, apparently acting on a suggestion made by Starswirl as the Pillars had passed through their lands, asking to be joined under the banner of the Two Sisters in neutrality.

Celestia was starting to recall it more clearly now. Blank flanks. That was what a disappointed Princess Platinum had called them in the heat of the moment. The two of them didn't even have Cutie Marks!

Celestia turned her mind to Twilight's half-gasped, throwaway comment; the Crusaders running Equestria by themselves? Her stomach turned a little at the thought. How irresponsible. And cruel.

Comments ( 29 )

I can now see the response now, “Starswirl, what did you do?” He and the rest of the pillars have some serious explaining to do.

A lot of things happened 1000 years ago. Which makes you wonder...
A. Why the princesses rarely step in anymore
B. Why nothing happened during luna's banishment to the moon
C. How old the princesses truly are

You’ve gained a follower with this, I want to see where it goes, can’t wait to see what Starswirl will have to say about this....

Well this is a problem, there sure was a lot of buggery happening precisely one thousand years ago.

well from the shows cannon at least we know that celestia and luna took charge of the sun and moon 1110 or so years previous
if they were fillies of the crusaders age at that time then discord given there aparant age when the faced him had to have happend about 10 years after that...the sirens likely happend a few years before the shadow pony thing happend...likewise the uniteing of the tribes and the windegos

This is what happens when the writers don't compare notes...or see previous episodes...

I assume this is a response to the fact the timeline doesn't add up properly.

9645906
Celestia did 1111 years ago. Luna was never mentioned. Unless I missed it.

I mean...the simple answer is that Starswirl and the others intended Celestia and Luna to be the rulers with them serving as stewards/regents until both were old enough to govern on their own, but the Pony of Shadows threw that plan for a loop. But what were the Pillars supposed to do, not stop Stygian?

It’s also hardly cruel, children used to become kings and queens all the time 1,000 years ago, and even sooner, and if they were too young to properly rule they’d have a regent.

9646172
Its inferd they got there cutie Mark's at roughly the same time though Luna banishment means officially she has 1000 fewer years experience regardless

And this is why shows with a lot back in the day moments need a timeline, or maybe a lore keeper.

So it was true; Nightmare Moon was just teen Luna having a goth phase. :rainbowlaugh:

Comment posted by Admiral Stoic Rum deleted May 27th, 2019

9646256
That makes soo much sense it isn't even funny

Personally, I gave up and retconned half of the stuff that happened "1,000 years ago." There was just too much stuff happening all at once with no explanation.

9646256
And now thinking of DWK. "It's not emo, it's alternative! Why do you have to label me?!"
9645907
Makes ya wonder sometimes... Granny Smith? Founded Ponyville with her family. Winter Wrap-up? Done without magic for centuries. Either they are doing something very carefully and we don't know or this suffers Simpson's Syndrome, where canon doesn't matter except when it does.

There's a reason so much is forgotten about that period.

Time isn't supposed to be folded and stuck together like a foal's art project. Given, Discord WAS kinda just materialized...

Shouldn't Twilight be questioning why the Cake Twins haven't aged in at least 5 canon years? Kind of a big plothole there.

9646185
Be that as it may, the fact that the ponies they tapped to be the regents were also the only ones capable of dealing with any serious crises up to and including their ejection from current space-time was, at best, shortsighted, and, at worst, criminal negligence.





So, exactly the sort of thing I've come to expect from Equestrian ponies, I guess....

9647091

Or the Crusaders.

9647091
Granny Smith is hundreds of years old. I think Ponies just have extremely long lifespans.

9646437
Obviously, ponies are somewhat alike the rabbits from Watership Down: they can't count beyond a thousand so any amount larger than that is just a thousand. :rainbowlaugh:

9647789
If the catch you, they will kill you. But first they must catch you...

I just love how this story hasn't even gotten to a main plot yet, but it's already drowning in likes because "lol he found a plot hole."
:ajbemused:

Watch the episode with Twilight babysitting Flurry Heart. The Cake twins are at least a year older than she is, but they are babbling infants and she is aware, cognizant, and takes care of them. She has visible sclera and they do not. Alicorns canonically develop faster than normal ponies.

Of course, ponies likely don't know this.

9648931
Not to mention Flurry just talked, but the Cake Twins, who should be over 5 years old now, don't.

In this picture, the Chimera-like Scorpan stood supplicating two adult Alicorns.

I mean, Celestia and Luna could've been children during this, and the author of said book (which is obviously fairly modern) messed up, and Celestia didn't know, and probably doesn't care.

I feel a twinge of guilt upvoting your story... no longer are you experiencing a perfect score of sixty-nine. Now its the less amusing seventy

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