• Member Since 26th Apr, 2015
  • offline last seen March 1st

Skylarking the Stargazer


Passer inter meos ocellos labebatur... et inebriatus... etiam līberātūrus.

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Sometimes, the quietest bunch out there are pulling all the strings.

What has she been doing before landing on a full-time job at the School of Friendship?

Partially inspired by MythrilMoth's comedy hit.

Chapters (4)
Comments ( 16 )

Damn. Fits Fluttershy's personality. This is good.

9561544
I really don't have a proper response to your genuine compliment other than a "thank you", but I haven't been doing much writing lately and have gotten a bit rusty.

Furthermore, comedy is my weak side so I really didn't have hopes up for this work.

But if you enjoyed it, then it's my pleasure.

Fluttershy as the "Godmare":rainbowderp:. . . . .:rainbowlaugh: if that isn't at least dark comedy bronze, I don't know what is.

9563032
It's just minor comedy that's thrown of little jokes here and there lol, and I avoided dark because it would be hard balancing between those two genres when I'm already tossing in corny/cheap comedy.

..........I am so confused right now. This chapter could probably do with some heavy reworking.

9579341
I expected some people to share your reaction to this chapter. If I made everything crystal clear, there wouldn't be any point in deceiving the readers. But otherwise, you're on spot. This is indeed my weakest chapter and it's full of plot holes.

Long story short, Fluttershy stroke a deal with Celestia to have her temporarily disguised as an Alicorn princess called "Sally". While in disguise, Sally tells Twilight that she tried to get rid of Fluttershy because she's an evil-hearted criminal who represents what the mafia should be (greedy, selfish, mistrusting, cold, etc), and Twilight, being Fluttershy's dear friend, naturally defends her despite her controversial acts across Equestria. It would've gone on for a bit longer hadn't Twilight discovered that Fluttershy (or Princess Sally in disguise) was missing her tiara, which exposed the fact that she was no more than a fraud to begin with, not a legit princess.

Now, why did Fluttershy want to disguise as a princess and make all that bullcrap up to Twilight? This was an unrealistic idea because, well, why would Twilight fall for that (she did, and it's all that matters)? If Twilight would rebel against the very authority over Equestria just to protect her friend's interests, then it meant she was nevertheless, convinced by Fluttershy that her mafia life is justified from the first chapter. Celestia and Fluttershy pulled this giant prank just to confirm whether Twilight truly understood/accepted other ponies' ways of living life, despite being intense and risky.

9579388
Ah, okay. There was a lot of grammatical weirdness and that resulted in me re-reading segments to make sure I hadn’t skipped anything; especially in that chapter and the showdown chapter. Lots of run-on sentences and sentences that could have been spliced together with commas and semi-colons to form one coherent thought.

But overall, I enjoyed the concept a lot!

9579530
Strange, I thought Grammarly would help me fix those... But thanks for clarifying.

9579534
:twilightsmile: No problem!
Also, I’d honestly trust my computer’s spellcheck and my own judgement with that. I’ve been hearing some weird things about Grammerly. If all else fails: Google Docs.

Comment posted by Paided deleted Sep 15th, 2020
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