The Godmare

by Skylarking the Stargazer

Sally's Tia-ra

Author's Note:

A terrible name with a terrible pun makes a terribly weird ass chapter

"But I don't understand, Princess Celestia!" Twilight Sparkle raised her voice. "Why are you so comfortable with Fluttershy being in the mafia? You are well aware of her situation right now, right?"

"Oh fear not, Twilight!" The alicorn chuckled lightly. "I have known about this all along."

She was really confused now. "What?!"

Celestia lowered her head to Twilight's ears. "It's a secret between the two of us. As long as I receive twelve slices of shortcake by the end of every week, Fluttershy is allowed to commit to her free will. I would've given her a salary myself, but then again, her brand is based on a notorious association rather than a private company dealing with legal commerce."

Unnecessary to know at any expense, Twilight was less than amused. "Really?"

Chuckling again, Celestia wrapped her foreleg around her. "Friendship can come in many ways, but business is still a business, my dear Twilight Sparkle. It may seem deluded because employers are so distrustful of each other to work toward their own goals. But rest assured, no matter what may happen, Fluttershy will be there to protect you and your friends at all costs."

Twilight, remembering the other day with the unknown guests Fluttershy has thrown out, helped herself with a faint grin. For the first time, she was glad that she could see the world in an alternative light, and she has her best friend to thank for that.

"Well, I hope you're right about that, Princess. Thank you."

"Anytime, my faithful student."

"But um, could you get your hoof off me now? I'm feeling kiiiiind of heavy."

"Ah yes. My apologies, Twilight." The alicorn's muffled voice barely reached the Twilight's ears as she walked down her castle with a mouthful of cake. "I was distracted by the fact that Fluttershy's baking skills were exemplary this week! She must've had Pinkie Pie's assistance this time around, considering her cutie mark is on each of the slice's side."

Twilight levitated a slice of the strawberry shortcake and examined it. It was whipped over with banana cream. A blood colored smile made of jam was present on its wider end. Sniffing the content inside, she noticed something strange. Using magic, she extracted the interior of the cake slice and noticed a white pill hidden in the dislocated crumbs. Following up, there was a tiny paper slip with written words on it on both sides. Twilight squinted at the slip as she flipped it back and forth, only to leave her beyond traumatized.

Disclaimer: I WANT YOU DEAD AND GONE! ONCE YOU EAT THE CAKE WE'RE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY OF ITS SERIOUS SIDE EFFECTS! HOPE THESE STEROIDS FROM LA FAMILIA DOS SADDLES WORK SO I DON'T HAVE TO MAKE YOU ANY MORE CAKES!

Pinkie Pie was definitely not involved with any of this.

"Uh, Princess Celestia? We might want to talk about this cake you're enjoying at the moment... Princess?"

When Twilight turned to her back, the hallway to the royal throne was loud enough even for a pin drop. The air filled with suspense as a white hoof poked out from the wall behind the throne, gesturing the young alicorn to follow.

By the time she entered through the hidden door, a furious glow revealed the dark room to be a library filled with (according to Twilight's biased assumption, which was then through her delinquent excitement) ancient books of forbidden spells—

"These are just cheap fairy tales dedicated to foals." She frowned.

Ignoring the patent statement, the elder alicorn nodded. "Indeed Twilight, come sit here with me."

As Friendship Princess steadily shuffled herself onto the seat, she failed to speculate any promising series of events out of this unexpected meeting. Celestia looked stern, probably because Twilight didn't exactly sit "with" her but instead, across from her on the round wooden table. It looked almost identical to Fluttershy's table in her kitchen.

Five minutes later, Twilight Sparkle nearly dreamed of magic sheep.

"Princess Celestia, if I may ask, what exactly—"

"Look. Listen here. No."

She lifted a brow. "I... beg your pardon?"

"That's not my name."

A calendar wrapped in magenta aura hovered onto the table. “Um, April Foals isn't here yet."

She began lighting a cigar in her hooves. "It's Sally."

"Did you not hear what I just said?"

A puff of smoke nearly overwhelmed Twilight as it entered her nostrils. "I'm Princess Sally."

She really couldn't be more braindead right now. Her beloved teacher's tone has completely changed. Twilight mindlessly stared at the white fur of the taller looking alicorn, as if she wasn't even Celestia anymore. Losing her patience, "Celestia" leaned on her left foreleg, soundly tapping the table with the other on. She brought over a trash can and spat out the cigar.

With a shaky breath, Twilight nearly avoided slamming the calendar. "O-okay... We can take another approach..." Her hooves trembled as she folded it together before tossing it to the side. "Who has been ruling Equestria for eons alone and together with her sister Princess Luna?"

Blinking for a good five seconds, the alicorn finally opened her mouth. "Princess Celestia."

"Good, we're getting somewhere. So now, what is Celestia's duty as the Princess of Equestria?"

"Meh, she raises the sun every day, deals with political meetings, signs social contracts, and meets school foals."

"And how does the rest of Equestria see her?"

Her eyes slowly widened. "She is their beloved and supreme ruler even though a local mafia wants her dead every time."

Twilight nodded delightfully. "Excellent! Now we— Wait, what?"

The alicorn's cheeks contracted and forced a bitter grin. "I was just playing along, but it got quite boring."

Twilight unconsciously chewed her lips as her eyes slung in all directions. She should've known something wasn't right the minute Celestia mentioned the twelve slices of shortcake! Hooves fidgeting and trembling, the alicorn applied a rough massage on her entire face, nearly dislocating her nose in the process.

Sally blinked, before rolling her eyes helplessly. "I guess it's better if I explain to you the entire story."

---

After an hour of explaining and tiresome questioning, Twilight now knew that Sally, or better known as Sally Frank "Freedo" Pentangelding, originated from a typical middle-class household in Canterlot and studied day and night during her educational career in School for Gifted Unicorns until she became a full grown mare. Her magic understanding and usages were exemplary to the point where it was worthy of being alicorn tier status. Not only was Sally powerful, but her in-depth knowledge of world history in and out of Equestria, elite cultural characteristics, and a political magnificence who often engaged in countless movements and organizations to learn and change the potentials of the equine realm. Her gifted abilities were more than eligible for her to take the position of the tall tale alicorn capable of rising the sun, Princess Celestia—

"So you're a fraud who has the AUDACITY to pretend to be her?! OUT OF ALL PONIES?"

Sally cast a spell and half enjoyed the sight of Twilight struggling with a zipper on her lips. Followed up was another spell which projected their speech volume only within the range of the secret library.

"Damn it Twilight, won't you shut up already?! I literally just said to not make a fuss about it. And I even had to clarify it three times during your constant interruptions: Princess Celestia is just a made up fairy myth that was told as a lie to all ponies so that they, or we for that matter, can unite together and thrive. It shouldn't even take half an hour to understand all that, let alone a full one."

"Y-y-you, you liar! What have you done to her?!" Twilight stammered in tears. "And I'm totally not pretending like I'm denying reality right here."

"Yeah sooooo sorry that I've just ruined your pathetic childhood, kiddo." Sally rolled her eyes in disgust. "You really think Equestria's that peaceful and happy-go-lucky place where a monarchy can be perfected. Congrats friend-gathering princess, you really do have the head of an egg."

The latter glowered at her, perhaps more shocked than vexed. Her violet eyes nearly tripped up Sally as if her breathing was impeded wholly. The elder alicorn returned with an amused look of her own, awaiting some kind of petty insult.

"Ironic you're calling me that yet you missed the detail of parliaments having influence over the royalty's decisions."

"Constitutional monarchy, wow we get it. You're a smart egghead, not just an egghead." Sally sighed in defeat. "Look Twilight, I'm not here for a stupid argument. The reason I told you my backstory at this shady place is that my life is at stake. My fate is bound to become one with all the others who preceded me as the role of the solar-powered chairmare."

Twilight furrowed her brows, she was not amused by her casual slang.

"Look I know I sound like a stressed-out college girl, or better put, you."

"None. Taken." She growled.

"But countless pony lives have been taken inheriting Celestia's throne for the slightest errors in decision making, I fear I will be gone sooner than I had expected. If I do make a decision that encumbers the minority, then they will come for my head."

"What?! But I don't get it, who are you referring to by they?"

"Okay okay look. I didn't mean it, alright? This is like my fifth day in office, and I'm already in some deep shake shacks. Every newly elected Celestia negotiates with a mafia group to ensure stability in the Equine realm without giving it to the criminal underworld, as well as occasionally donating bits to public services and organizations."

"Hmm... This sounds somewhat familiar..." Twilight rubbed her muzzle.

"And in return, we give the mafia a partial salary to ensure their own chances of survival against the other mafias. But if anypony was ever to be displeased with what that Celestia did, the linked mafia will secretly take her down by force."

"What?" Twilight no longer held the suspicion that Sally was disingenuous. "So you guys are basically their workhorses striving for absolute perfection?! Nopony can satisfy everypony else! W-why would they do this to you guys?!"

"Well to be fair, I tried prosecuting them in court, which failed miserably. I also tried teaming up with their a rival mob led by an infamous mobster and investor named Hystallion Roth, who once was affiliated with the mafia, but the following day... He got his ass hoofed over to the Federal Custody."

An immediate facehoof. "What a waste of my sympathy. That was clearly on you for being overly aggressive."

The fraudulent Sunbutt nodded. "Well, what else could've I done? Sweat my butt off to death every day thinking about death? Or have a final showdown to keep me in peace until I get a more reserved mafia group. I had my chance and I used it at the right time!"

"So then, how did you fail to get them guilty?"

"Well..." Sally scratched her head. Her multicolored mane was not waving in the air, but instead fell flat inches above the floor. "We kiiiiinda had the security remove all shreds of documented evidence before we got the gang to join our side. So when I tried pressing charges against her in court, there was nothing to prove that she was guilty of her crimes. Furthermore, who would've believed that a mafia family was composed of an innocent and emo looking mare with a bunch of animals as her friends? You know, they're pretty smart on that. It's not like you can openly murder somepony and say that 'my pet did it'—"

"Wait..."

Sally raised a brow, only to see Twilight's once grape lavender face ghostlier than a pale slab of metal.

"Did you just say it was a mafia made up of a mare and her animal friends?"

"Don't forget emo looking, that's the keyword." She winked. "But yeah, she had a pink mane and yellowish fur. Her cutie mark was a bunch of butterflies and stuffs like that—"

"You tried to CONDEMN FLUTTERSHY? You tried to eliminate one of my CLOSEST FRIENDS?!"

Sally rubbed her muzzle. "Well, if you want to put it in that context, then yeah sure why not—"

Her voice was broken off by a series of hyperventilation, Twilight's hind hooves stuck out from the table twitching once per three seconds. Whenever Sally pictured her having a panic attack, she would imagine her belly instantly huffing into a balloon and puffing out like a flat pancake, to which the "alicorn" immediately winced at such an exaggerated thought.

"You! You tried to hurt my friends just for your own benefits! The real Princess Celestia would never do such a thing!"

Sally rolled her eyes. "That's why she's not real, any sane pony who would believe such benevolent ruler exists is nothing but a big dunce who dropped out of college."

Twilight immediately climbed up her seat, her glare couldn't have been icier. "Was that another petty jab towards me?"

She shrugged. "Never said that, but if you have such a sloppy image of yourself then be my guest."

The Princess of Friendship slammed the table. "Listen, you impostor! I don't care what you have to say about her, but if you're going to openly shun her in front of everypony despite the numerous times she's saved Equestria and preserved our relationship with animals, then you'll have to get through me first!"

'Alright, that was cringe as hell...’ Sally rolled her eyes in disgust. "Just because her heroic deeds were exceptional and being close with somepony of an elevated social status doesn't exempt her from breaking the law."

"But she's never hurt anyone for unjustified reasons."

"It's right to act upon justice through violence?"

"If you consider tickling as violence then you're a pretty sensitive jerk."

Sally sighed. "Yes, Miss Sparkle. But tickling leads to asphyxiation, which can cause death."

"Do you think Fluttershy would actually enjoy watching somepony die like that?"

Sally face-hoofed. "Look, it doesn't matter, alright? All we know is that Fluttershy has disrupted order across Equestria and has gotten away with it many times." She blushed, reluctant to continue. "W-well although her shortcakes are q-q-quite lovely, she has gotten the notoriety of numerous locals from Dodge Junction and San Franciscolt. And as the new heir to this royal throne, I must make sure harmony must prevail even at the cost of my life."

"At the cost of your life?!” Twilight snapped again. “How are you even certain Fluttershy's coming for your head? You're just afraid of losing power after fighting through to obtain it!”

“She’s part of the criminal underworld, Twilight. Their influence over Equestria will continue to spread, and eventually corrupt this nation until there's nothing left.”

“But Fluttershy values friendship as much as any of us! And that is the ultimate source which drove us to like you’ve been saying, thrive in harmony! It was what's been taught to my friends and myself to save this world from the disassociation that tried to tear us apart again and again!”

“I did business with Fluttershy, I respected Fluttershy, but I never trusted Fluttershy.” Sally blew through her nostrils. “Mafias only care for what benefits themselves, they never see friendship and money eye to eye.”

“You’re wrong.”

Sally raised a brow and faked a smirk. “Enlighten me.”

“Mafias may be irregular to the societal norms, but they're nothing close to defects of the society. They have their own code of honor and traditions worthy of respect. Family and friends are their closest bonds that make their lives worth living. It’s like entering into the Everfree forest, there is only risk if you’re willing to step into an unknown boundary and associate yourself with a different way of living. But ponies like Fluttershy are fighting for their lives because the limited societal norms don’t suit them!”

“Woooow!” Sally clapped her hooves as she chewed on a mouthful of shortcake and sugary cookies. “Cool story, keep going.”

“Eh, to be honest. That’s all I had.”

“Lame.”

“Gee, thanks.” Twilight squinted at Sally’s horn for two seconds, then pushed her lips forward. “Say, what happened to your tiara? You know that’s a part of Princess Celestia’s common accessory, right?”

Sally slowly lifted her eyes upwards, but she had to fight off the uncooperative mane swaying into her gaze.

"I really wished my mane was floaty and 'celestial' sometimes." She grumbled to herself.

With one hoof on her forehead, she realized the barren spot of where the object that defined her royalty was supposed to take place. Shivering soon turned to excessive sweating, Sally Freedo bit her lip and averted Twilight's doubtful glare casting on her at the moment.

"Hail Celestia, full of grace, the Sun is with you. Blessed are thou amongst mares, and blessed is the fruit of thy sister Luna. Holy Celestia, mother of Equestria, pray for us sinners—"

---

Twilight Sparkle was informed of the ultimate truth: Turns out that Sally Pentangelding was, in reality, Fluttershy—

"Do I have to fall on a precipice in order to snap back into reality? Or would I be dead by then? Because I'm really, really, fed up with this identity-deception junk."

Princess Celestia held a hoof to her mouth as she chuckled. "Oh, don't worry my dear Twilight Sparkle. None of that was ever real in the first place. I do exist and I was your teacher this entire time. No clone could ever replace our special bond."

"Mmm, she's right Twilight." Fluttershy giggled. "Because if there really was a fraud who would outright lie to you like this, I would have had Al Neighri put her down."

Twilight's features tensed as she heard this. "Is he another hench-animal of yours?"

Her friend giggled again. "No, Al Neighri is an old-time friend of mine. He's a true workhorse who would do anything for those whom he was acknowledged by. I guess you can call him my 'bodyguard'."

"W-well then! I guess we have come to a resolution here! Celestia exists and Fluttershy isn't a mafia leader—"

"Actually, I still am."

She rolled her eyes. "Right, you still are. I should've known that it was you disguising as this "Sally" jerk, considering Princess Celestia chose you to act as herself in the Ones-versary theatre play."

"Um, but you did not, that was why the disguise worked."

Twilight scouted Fluttershy from top to bottom as she thought hard about the tone contrast between her and "Sally". "Alright fine, you got me there."

A white hoof stepped in front of the two friends. Both Twilight and Fluttershy raised their heads to meet Celestia's gentle gaze.

"I have overheard the entire conversation, and both of you have made very sensible points on how this kingdom should be run under..." — she pressed her lips — "Unforeseeable circumstances."

"Forgive me for my rudeness, Princess Celestia." Twilight bowed to her elder counterpart. "But in my honest opinion, Fluttershy just might be an exception to the criminal underworld. I simply cannot allow blind justice to be done upon her deeds."

Celestia nodded as she absorbed her former prized pupil's words. "And exceptions I will permit, my dear Twilight Sparkle. A true light of kindness rests well within Fluttershy's body. Actions may speak louder than words, but the actions of the pony cannot always be judged by the naked eye."

"But Twilight, would you have committed to the same attitude towards Fluttershy had she tried to defend her position?"

"Pardon me, but are you trying to say I'm being b-biased right now?" Twilight asked impulsively.

"I cannot say 'yes' to that question, but it seems you have changed your stance on how the mafia culture should be perceived because of the insights our dear Fluttershy has offered to you. Would you think otherwise had it not been her, one of your closest friends?"

"So... Fluttershy's disguise as your impostor was to see how I would've reacted if one of my friend's life was at stake?"

Fluttershy gently nudged Twilight on her shoulder. "It's nothing personal, Twilight. It's strictly business. Please don't see this as an experiment being put on you." She raised a hoof to her chest and bit her lip. "Oh, I'm not even sure if I'm giving you even more pressure now!"

Twilight shot her an unamused glare. "Are you done faking?"

Fluttershy revealed a tiny grin behind her mane of (forced) tears. "N-no..."

"The mafia culture can be quite strange sometimes." Celestia continued, "But no matter what the roles in society are, there is always an opportunity to know them better and keep them close."

"And keep your enemies closer..." Fluttershy murmured.

Comments

[DragonxFlutter]

..........I am so confused right now. This chapter could probably do with some heavy reworking.

[Skylarking the Stargazer]

9579341
I expected some people to share your reaction to this chapter. If I made everything crystal clear, there wouldn't be any point in deceiving the readers. But otherwise, you're on spot. This is indeed my weakest chapter and it's full of plot holes.

Long story short, Fluttershy stroke a deal with Celestia to have her temporarily disguised as an Alicorn princess called "Sally". While in disguise, Sally tells Twilight that she tried to get rid of Fluttershy because she's an evil-hearted criminal who represents what the mafia should be (greedy, selfish, mistrusting, cold, etc), and Twilight, being Fluttershy's dear friend, naturally defends her despite her controversial acts across Equestria. It would've gone on for a bit longer hadn't Twilight discovered that Fluttershy (or Princess Sally in disguise) was missing her tiara, which exposed the fact that she was no more than a fraud to begin with, not a legit princess.

Now, why did Fluttershy want to disguise as a princess and make all that bullcrap up to Twilight? This was an unrealistic idea because, well, why would Twilight fall for that (she did, and it's all that matters)? If Twilight would rebel against the very authority over Equestria just to protect her friend's interests, then it meant she was nevertheless, convinced by Fluttershy that her mafia life is justified from the first chapter. Celestia and Fluttershy pulled this giant prank just to confirm whether Twilight truly understood/accepted other ponies' ways of living life, despite being intense and risky.