Darkdemonlucifer
Joined 7th Nov, 2017 ·
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Wow, in that order?
9089825
Either way she ends up dead and raped. I think if people are into that kind of thing, they're not gonna be too picky.
9089859 But what if I prefer her alive and screaming for help that will never come? What about MY needs?
So edgy. I can almost smell the guyliner from here.
What
9089927
I'm very sorry... I never even considered them....
9089983
Why thank you! I put a lot of effort into being edgy just for that reason. The smell of guyliner attracts suitably edgy mates.
9090116
If you really want shit, I can also write scat.
Why are you advertising a commission in a story instead of a blog?
9090682
I advertise on my user page too. But the more advertising I put out, the more packs of dried noodles I can buy.
9090712
The tendies and mom's spaghetti not enough for you?
It’s times like these where I scratch my head and wonder why stories like this exist.
9091017
Because people have these things called fetishes. I clearly warn my stories, those who do not wish to see such things are not forced to.
I'm not going to read this but I threw you a like anyways. Keep being you
I see only 1 major flaw in this story, Magic. Luna as far as I can tell did nothing to nullify Celstia's magic. We all know that she could have noped out of there in a flash of light the moment things started going south. I would suggest adding a method to your story.
Just so you know, my critique won't be in regards of this story's subject, that being rape and/or death.
However, your story didn't make much sense, and that is because:
-the plot is too rushed.Sure, we know that Luna wants the kingdom, but why?Also why does she have a dick?
-the plot convenience is too much.Luna can use magic but Celestia can't...because?Ok, let's say she can't hurt her subjects, but why not just teleport away?Or something similar?
I truly have nothing against stories with "taboo"subjects, I even enjoy them, but only if they have a good plot that makes sense, and unfortunately, this story isn't one of them...