Citrus Recluse
Joined 4th Jun, 2014 ·
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Domme Twi is about to have some fuuuuun.
I still wanna be her slave!!!
I expected Sugarcoat to be first.
Sugarcoat - Pleasured by Erotic Asphyxiation
Props for actually using the word "asocial" right. I'm definitely curious to see where this goes.
An absolute fucking genius.
Mm, me thinks the girl who gave Twilight her headphones will be interesting. Same with the "Are we gonna win?!" girl.
9070653
Lemon Zest and Indigo Zap respectively. Their chapters are going to be rather intricate, complicated even. Glad you're enjoying the story so far, Celestia knows I am. Happy reading!
Shouldn't there be a "Sci-Twi" tag, not Twilight?
9075690
There doesn't seem to be a separate Sci Twi tag after the revision to the tag system.
9076121
Twilight Sparkle (EqG). Have you tried this tag?
9076212
Ooh. That makes more sense. Thanks! All fixed up.
i'd love to see sunny flare or lemon zest get it up the ass
The plot thickens!
Darn. Missed a few bits in editing. My bad. Still, excellent work Citrus.
I like to imagine she's doing the Gendo Ikari pose.
9185621
Not the pose, but that is the effect I was imagining on her glasses.
Well, only two left, and I dare say you just did the sluttiest one. So should be interesting to see what comes next.
Why do I get the feeling Indigo Zap's chapter will either involve electro-stimulation?
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One left. There's only five 'core' Shadowbolts after Twilight defects.
9187481
Oh
Giggty
I’m pretty sure there is something called boundries, Twilight.
Of course Twilight is snippy with Indigo Zest. (I go that from Disney Fanatic. 😀) She's acting like Twilight had no reason to transfer.
Okay, intriguing beginning. :D
This is looking interesting. SciTwi’s feeling strange, Sunset is unknowingly starting to get the feeling that something’s wrong, the Shadowbolts are completely clueless about the whole situation. This is a good start.
There were quite a few grammatical errors, which is easy enough to fix with a thorough re-read or an editor. But one thing I wanna point out in particular:
“What’s-Her-Face” is Sunny Flare. This is a point where I’d have used the FiM Wiki to look up the name instead of putting down “What’s-Her-Face”. The only time that I’d personally use “What’s-Her-Face” is if the narration was in the first-person and Twilight couldn’t remember.
Other than that, I’m gonna keep reading and see where this goes!
Sugarcoat likes to get choked out. Who knew?
Twilight makes a good dom (and Sunset a better one), but a part of me can’t help but wonder what brought about this little personality shift. I have my suspicions, but I’ll have to wait and see.
Is that how you check if someone’s still breathing? I thought you’d put your hand in front of their mouth or your ear on their chest. Not that I’m a medical professional, I’m just don’t know how a pulse correlates to respiratory functions.
Sour Sweet finds she likes lactation and getting gagged. That’s kinda fitting. And, on the plus side, she figures out that she probably needs some serious therapy to help with her compulsion. That’s nice.
I didn’t notice many errors this time! Awesome!
Hypnosis and simulated gang-bang for Sunny Flare? Interesting choice.
There were a few more errors this time than last, but in all it was a well written chapter!
I...I have no idea what to call this except hella kinky.
Whoa! Big flub there!
That was certainly unique! I’ve honestly never considered this type of thing before. Well, I have in the context of physical labor, but not games!
This one might need another pass. And I kept seeing astricxes in the text. If you’re adding emphasis, I’d use the Bold, Italicize, and/or Underline options.
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If you see an asterisk, it's supposed to be an italic, or bold, or something and it just slipped by during the editing process. I use them sometimes to mark something that's supposed to be italic etc when I'm a flow state so I can just dot the phrase to be edited rather than fiddling with the formatting when I'm trying to focus on just the writing.
Should be fixed now.
9308001
... That, is another thing that slipped by editing. I was supposed to google "What's Her Face" and put in her actual name before the chapter went live.
9308452
If you highlight the intended word(s) and use Ctrl+B/I/U, it'll give you the desired effect. Additionally, you can do that prior to typing the word(s) to just get the brackets.
why was this canceled?
The story was a good one.