• Member Since 28th Sep, 2012
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Firesight


I'm an IT Brony who writes stories based on a show for 8-year old girls whose content is meant for anything but 8-year old girls.

Sequels1

Comments ( 539 )

dude that is humanized beauty right there i love this story and midnight sparkle love it love it love it

Despite how hot this is—and it is—Twilight should face a hard, painfull fall after everything is said and done.

I lol'd at both of Pinkie's moments.

As usual, Pinkie missed the point. “Ooooo… look at all the pretty ponies! Is that what Princess Twilight looks like?” She waved to them, causing one to wave tentatively back.

Do you think its a predator? "I don't know Snowberry...just smile and wave and maybe they won't attack."

1) Hot.
2) Wtf.
3) What.
the fuck.
Pinkie.

Your going to up the stakes and cruelty right?

I have to admit, stories like this aren't usually my cup of tea, but...

*follows it* What the heck, why not! :rainbowlaugh:

My one suggestion: you should probably put a Comedy tag somewhere in the story description.

“Unleash the magic, unleash the magic…” they chanted like a mantra, circling her. “If we lose than you’re to blame…”

... then. Other than that, it looks pretty OK so far.

I was right, she IS going to Iris Heart them!

“What…?” He looked from me to Midnight again. “But that’s Twilie! She’d never hurt me! I know she’ll listen to me!” He broke away from us and ran forward towards her, leaping a small rift portal, causing all of us to cringe. “Twilight!” he called out to her, causing her to turn her head towards him. “It’s me! Flash Sentry! Don’t you know me?”

My feelings: :facehoof::rainbowlaugh::facehoof:

“Ooooo… now that’s one for the school yearbook!” Pinkie announced with a grin as she held up her own phone, causing her friends to facepalm with a loud smack.

... Really, Pinkie, really? Oh well, I'll admit, this was a pretty inventive punishment. I didn't know what you meant by "locked outside a locker room", but now I see that you meant "locked outside a locker room in a state of undress".

I had no chance to consider the question before Midnight spoke again. “So, Indy… are we going to COME?” she shouted in Indigo’s voice again, in a tone reminiscent of a coach or a cheerleader at a pep rally.
Indigo’s eyes were glazed as she struggled to resist her overwhelming desires and an increasingly desperate need for release, dimly recognizing the classmates watching her but unable to stop herself, digging her hands in even deeper, one in her blue-furred human marehood and the other kneading her own breast, tweaking a nipple hard. “I… I…”
“Wrong answer!” Midnight replied, still using Indigo’s voice before shifting back to her own. “So then Indy… are… we… going… to… COME?” She repeated more slowly and with increasing glee as she intensified the magical effect, causing Indigo in turn to intensify her efforts until finally…

Don't think I don't see you doing a parallel; I can TOTALLY see it. Now then, let's see who's next.

Huh, so next up is the "straight guy". Let's see what kind of spin you can put on Sunny... huh, that's kind of weird; I said "Sunny", but I wasn't using a shorthand version of Sunset Shimmer for once. Anyway, let's get back to th-

“So, Sunny… remember what you and Lemon Zest did to me last year? Slipping that certain video into my lab computer and then recording my reaction?”

... Oh, I see how it is. You defined a noodle incident in a previous work, and now you're making one in order to compensate, I see. Well, I have a news flash for you... heh, that's kinda funny.

“And here I thought you wouldn’t mind, given how many guys you’ve already slept with!”

Well, ain't that ironic; the "straight guy" is into straight guys... like, REALLY into them. I never would've guessed from the movie.

“I also noticed how you can’t seem to stand Indy almost as much as me,” Midnight further mused almost idly, glancing back over at Indigo Zap, who was now on her back, bringing herself towards climax again. “They do say opposites attract, right? Let’s see how true that is!”

Ah... and now the "straight guy's" not so straight. It's like the opposite of what she's trying to be-, It's- It's poetic justice. It's, well, it's not- not justice, exactly... Poetic evil. It's poetically evil.

With that they all turned to me. “Sunset?” Rarity prompted. “Is there anything we can do…?”
“I…”

Two words: Friendship Speeches. Although the time needed to take effect varies, they always work. Just look at Chry- no, she was banished, and now she's doing a bunch of stuff in the comics... or how about Som- no, he exploded and got resurrected in the comics... Ti- no, he was sent back to Tartarus where he belonged... ooh, what about the Dazzlings?! They had vibrant personalities, and they left such a meaningful impression on MLP fans that some guys used their names for a noveliza- no, they just left... where are they, exactly? OK, so maybe it doesn't work on EVERYONE, but it should definitely work on Twilight... maybe?

But the problem here was… despite all appearances, Midnight wasn’t evil, and her magic wasn’t dark. My magical awareness told me that. It was just normal unicorn mating and attraction magic taken to the nth degree, and suddenly gaining godlike power had overwhelmed her, not so much transforming her as unleashing her—unleashing all her suppressed passions after a lifetime of repression and loneliness, an unwillingness or inability to get her physical and emotional needs met.

Ah, the other element of parody: "alternate interpretation", a theme that, if used well, can improve a fanfiction's standing through it's creativity, as long as there's a strong basis for it... don't worry, there is.

“Yes! Yes!” Photo Finish stepped beside me, her cameras out and telephoto lenses extended, taking a steady stream of pictures. “Do it! Unleash the Magicks!” She implored, not relenting her efforts.

... I'm sorry, I'm missing a word, here. I remember having it, but it just... went away?... Oh, that's right, I gave all my yes'es to you. Why? Because this one, solitary line is worth ALL OF MY YES.

6733565

Yaknow..I want to see if you can manage to SPEAK after reading ch. 5

... My favorite of the Shadow 5... if she doesn't get the proper characterization and treatment she deserves, I'll take back every single "yes" I've given to you thus far... that's right; things just got serious.

You know what, Sugar? I think you need something to occupy that big mouth of yours!”

Ah, just as I suspected. Discord would be proud... probably not before blushing profusely, of course.

Sugarcoat’s chest suddenly swelled, her bust expanding until her large breasts were all but bursting out of her blouse, giving her far more flesh to work with and a cup size the envy of every guy and more than a few girls around.

I-... thi-... wh-... this is so messed up :rainbowlaugh: So why am I laughing!?!

“Listen to me! You can’t do that! That thing’ll tear her apa…”

*sigh* Every girl says that, but they always forget to take the anime phy- I mean, the flash animation physics- into account.

The country girl didn’t look back as she answered, her eyes fixed straight ahead; even from six feet away I swore I could all but sense the intense heat coming off her loins. “As ma and pa are mah witnesses, I ain’t ever gonna see my farm horses the same way again…” she said shakily as myself, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash snapped out of our own stupors to pull her back from the edge, all of us now showing very visible signs of arousal and early stages of undress.

*sigh* You humans and your pony worship. Why can't you be like normal people and get turned on by Undertale characters and Freddy Fazbear animatronics?... Of course, I'm talking about the gijinka forms for both.

Thanks for reading this far! It's been a fun story to write, to say the least!
—Firesight

Ah, well its been a fun story to READ so far.

6733466 Plutia is a character from the little-known game franchise, Hyperdimension Neptunia. At first, she seems like a well-meaning girl, though her countenance may seem a bit off from time to time... then she transforms into Iris Heart, where she becomes more voluptuous, gets a major sadistic streak, and she wears dominatrix-like clothing. Normally, she won't do much to her friends outside more-than-playful teasing... but if you piss her off, something so unspeakable happens that the scene isn't even visible... of course, the only people who manage to do that are bad guys, so it isn't TOO much of a problem. You should really give it a shot, it's a series that parodies the Console War, except everyone's a moe/kawaii anime girl... trust me, it's a lot better than it sounds.

6733593 *sniff* Waifu #63,965... sacrificed to the pony gods, for they are superior to humans in every way. Sunset will avenge you. I'd do it myself, but I have no control over this story.

6733658

Well you managed to speak.... Mangonese or something but you spoke.

Do I even want it read this...? The decision to read this or not is making my head hurt! :pinkiecrazy:

EDIT: And where is my friend Dustchu when he needs to be here!? :flutterrage:

But what was most ominous to me… was her horn. It was crooked and looked like it belonged to a Changeling, a race I’d barely read about, glowing the same pale green as her eyes.

I can understand Sunset making the same mistake that a lot of viewers have but I figure I'd point it out, Midnight's horn isn't crooked like a changeling's it's spiraled like a drill which you can even see in the picture you included at the end. Anyways the writing has been very good so far and I like what you've done, pretty much what I'd have wanted from the movie if it hadn't rushed the whole Midnight scene (obviously excluding any sexual bits since that'd be way too much for canon stuff).

But the problem here was… despite all appearances, Midnight wasn’t evil

I realize Midnight has gotten distracted at this point but she was planning on destroying the entire human world by ripping space-time into another universe, I'd consider that at least a little evil :trollestia:.

6733915 Dusty's absence from the proceedings is most regrettable. When he does get around to it, this will blow the hockey mask right off his face and into orbit around the planet! :rainbowlaugh:

6734314 His absence is indeed most regrettable, and don't you want him to elicit this kind of reaction from the video below me or is this too extreme/too fan-boyish?

You know, this is something i would expect from a doujinshi. - Sugarcoat.

But in all honesty (:ajbemused:) I like this.

Oh i know, how about you make Cinich able to see all this happening and she watchs in horror on how her creation has brought apon her students. Well Cinch you want your reputation that badly well here's your new reputation, as a new event made and sponsered by themselves, Crystal Prep Sex Rally. Congrats you son of a dog and I hope you love it because...that's going to be in you mind for the rest of your life and the best part is, you started this on it's you undoing, forever. (Insert Markiplier's evil laugh):pinkiecrazy:
...
...
...until Sunset erases everyone's memory (damnit Sunset!). So is Sweet Sour, Fleur or Lemon Zest's turn coming?

6734332 I don't like Fieryjoker. At all. NC wannabe aside, I hope Dustchu approves!

6734404 To each their own opinion... though I ask why, is it because strict or something?

6734426 His "Feeling Pinkie Keen" review annoyed me. The guy he brought on to represent the agnostic side of his position was absolute garbage. Also, FPK doesn't suck because FJ is a Christian, it sucks because it's so poorly written that the entire point of the episode is obscured as a result and yet he makes a big deal about being Christian. Why does this matter? Ugh... awful review. Just. Awful.

Dave Polsky has written some of the worst episodes of MLP to the show's credit, so this is no big surprise. He was surprisingly awesome in season 4 though. (shrug)

If you like him, that's fine. It's just every brony I meet mentions this guy and everything of his I've watched gives the impression that he's desperately trying to look above the medium he's critiquing. He bitches about the theme song, he nitpicks crap no one cares about like horses being unable to climb hills... just... no thanks.

Can we still be friends? Let's just be friends okay?

6734470 No worries, I was just curious why... Like I said, to each their own opinion. I ain't arguing over who's best reviewer or not. For me he's third best reviewer, the other two that exceed him would be Silver Quill and DrWolf :twilightsmile:

Wow, look at all the comments... thanks, folks! Better get started on them...

6732709

I love Midnight's appearance--it's those flaming glasses that really sell it for me. She is a total badass. And I woke up this morning to see that this story was added to the Badass Twilight group, so I can see I'm not the only one who thinks so!

6732821

Glad to know you think this is hot!!!! :rainbowwild: All I'll say for now is that despite Sunset's best efforts, not all knowledge of the events are lost. It won't simply be status quo/as you were afterwards, for her or anyone else.

6732914

There are more to come! :pinkiecrazy:

6733184

Sir, you just won the internet. :rainbowlaugh:

6733256

1) Thanks! :pinkiehappy: 2), 3) There are going to be a few more major WTF moments from Pinkie in this before all is said and done, my friend. :ajsmug: After all the hype, hope you've liked the story so far!

6733312

Up the stakes? Definitely. Cruelty? I guess that depends on the definition... the one thing I *will* say is that Midnight will not physically harm anyone, transforming Cinch into a tree aside (even then, she's still alive and aware in there). She's not that far gone.

6733343

I couldn't resist. :coolphoto: But just imagine her picture portfolio afterwards!

6733351

Glad to have you! Guess Midnight has corrupted you too, then... :scootangel:

6733436

Fixed.

6733456

You know, I've learned a lot of anime terms and references from you in the course of your comments... guess I'll add one more to the list! :heart:

6734680 There needs to be some sort of medal issued to you in the service of the brony fandom for all the work you put into the development of this story.

6733611 You did a fine job doing a line-by-line analysis of this story. Thank you. I just don't have the heart to do it.


6733703 Manganese is a very pure language once it's been refined. :rainbowkiss:

6734680

Does the fact I called you Raptor-jesus a few times count?

Comment posted by F14m3rz deleted Dec 15th, 2015

6734711

I'm still surprised he managed to SPEAK after reading ch. 5

6733486

My feelings: :facehoof::rainbowlaugh::facehoof:

I guess I couldn't resist taking a swipe at Flash, with the justification that not having him to try to stop her in the movie did seem like an oversight if he still didn't know that wasn't Pony-Twi. :rainbowlaugh: I was hoping it'd be a crowd pleaser. Nothing against the guy really, it's just that there's no real reason Twilight should like him, certainly no reason given... though my own theory would be it's because he reminds her of her brother, which raises a whole slew of other issues.

Really, Pinkie, really? Oh well, I'll admit, this was a pretty inventive punishment.

Well, an apt one, to be sure... and more Pinkie moments to come. :pinkiecrazy:

6733611

I-... thi-... wh-... this is so messed up :rainbowlaugh: So why am I laughing!?!

I don't know, but I'll take it as a sign you're enjoying the proceedings. :rainbowlaugh:

*sigh* You humans and your pony worship. Why can't you be like normal people and get turned on by Undertale characters and Freddy Fazbear animatronics?... Of course, I'm talking about the gijinka forms for both.

Still more references for me to look up! :derpytongue2:

Ah, well its been a fun story to READ so far.

Good! I was really worried after all the hype how well it would actually be received... :raritystarry: Like I said, this was me cutting loose, and now you know the (still-partial) result. :coolphoto:

6733658

Fear not... she will. And your beloved waifu #63,965 will yet be heard from again. :raritywink:

6733915

So have you yet? :ajsmug: And you're right... where is Dustchu?

6734732 Should I call upon Dustchu then? He's missing out on this story here! :flutterrage:

Not suggesting that I read it or anything, if that's okay with you :fluttershyouch:

6734404 ...
...
..... (Calm down, F14m3rz. This person is entitled to their opinion, just like everybody el-)
You take that back you Impudent, recalcitrant, contemptuous pomegranate!!!
(OK, that was entirely uncalled for. Now apologize.)
Aw, but I don't wanna-
(F14M3RZ)
OK, OK. Sorry about that. In all seriousness, though, I can sort of see your point. Although, I think the "I'm a christian" thing was supposed to be satirizing scenarios where a person unwittingly slights someone else for saying something that offends them. You know, irony and all that. And I'm fairly certain that it was a co-reviewer who "complained" about ponies walking up cliffs. Not to mention... his review of Mysterious Mare Do Well was one of the best reviews for an MLP episode I've ever seen.
But you know, entitled to their own opinion and all that jazz. Now if you'll excuse me, I have an argument with a split personality I apparently have to get back to.

6734274

I can understand Sunset making the same mistake that a lot of viewers have but I figure I'd point it out, Midnight's horn isn't crooked like a changeling's it's spiraled like a drill which you can even see in the picture you included at the end.

Hmmm... looking at it again, point taken. I'll probably modify that section a bit, then.

Anyways the writing has been very good so far and I like what you've done, pretty much what I'd have wanted from the movie if it hadn't rushed the whole Midnight scene (obviously excluding any sexual bits since that'd be way too much for canon stuff).

Thanks! Yeah, they did rush it a bit, but that was still a very powerful story climax (no pun intended) that really elevated the the whole thing. But can you imagine if they did animate these scenes? "Next on Adult Swim... Friendship Games: Special Edition!" :rainbowwild:

Actually, I wouldn't mind seeing some artwork of these scenes. I may end up commissioning a few before all is said and done.

6734310

An evil act, yes. But not so much coming from an evil mind or design. She's basically a young child with a bunch of brand new toys, one who sees the world as her new playpen and her classmates as objects for her amusement. I consider that apt for the circumstances, since she strikes me as the kind of person who had a childhood devoid of much in the way of friends or play.

6734338

You know, this is something i would expect from a doujinshi. - Sugarcoat.

Hmmm... you know, I like that. I may have her say that line. :ajsmug:

But in all honesty (:ajbemused:) I like this.

Good to hear! :pinkiehappy: As I'll explain in a future blog post, this was me, a normally 'serious' adult fiction writer, taking a break from my usual fare to in order to completely cut loose.

Oh i know, how about you make Cinich able to see all this happening and she watchs in horror on how her creation has brought apon her students. Well Cinch you want your reputation that badly well here's your new reputation, as a new event made and sponsered by themselves, Crystal Prep Sex Rally. Congrats you son of a dog and I hope you love it because...that's going to be in you mind for the rest of your life and the best part is, you started this on it's you undoing, forever. (Insert Markiplier's evil laugh):pinkiecrazy:

All I'll say for now is... we'll see. :ajsmug:

...until Sunset erases everyone's memory (damnit Sunset!). So is Sweet Sour, Fleur or Lemon Zest's turn coming?

She may yet find she didn't quite succeed. :raritywink: And most definitely! I was actually still waffling on whether to include Fleur in the festivities since she's not technically one of the Shadowbolt six, but I think your question just solidified it--yes, I will. :moustache:

6734680

You know, Firesight...a small part of my ever-waning innocence died while I looked over this in its development and editing.

I see Midnight helped corrupt another soul, then. :ajsmug: You're welcome...

I... I don't regret it. I just...did I do good, Firesight? D-did I?

Your efforts were *very* much appreciated, sir! You pointed out a couple things I needed to fix, and I did. As always, my work is better for your efforts, and I owe you big for this.

In all seriousness, though, while not my usual cup of tea, I have enjoyed helping you with this so far. So, yeah, long live Midnight Sparkle.

I actually tend to think that in this canon, she may yet live past the end of this story. :raritywink: Guess we'll have to see!

(Let's just be thankful that Equestrian Twilight never reached this point and found her inner Midnight, heh)

I have seen pony versions of Midnight... but yes. To be sure, Pony-Twi does have her own dark side. We've seen glimpses of it. She wouldn't fall like Midnight because she's been immersed in magic her whole life and thus wouldn't be overwhelmed by that kind of power, which she mostly already has anyway. When she gained the power of all four princesses in the battle with Tirek, she didn't succumb to it.

6734751

Feel free! :pinkiehappy: And it's your choice, of course, but I'd love to see you read it!

6734757 I still hate the guy, but points taken.

Edit: This story is hauling ass! Way to go, sensei!

orig14.deviantart.net/4db7/f/2013/310/5/8/no_brakes_by_galapagois-d6t9svv.png

6734782 I did... but it is so wrong and yet enticing at the same time... :fluttershyouch::pinkiecrazy:

6734789 It's all good. Besides, I dislike Lilly Peet to some degree.
{...}
What, was it something I said?
{You take that back you imp-}
Oh, no, here we go again.

6733652 But if you want to know what character personality-wise that Sci-Twi most closely resembles, it's Rei Ryghts.
Initially, she's a meek, pitiful young woman with severe confidence issues and her "peers" lambasting her at every turn. Then, when she has power forced upon herself, she transforms into a more... interesting person. For one, her personality does an entire 180 and she becomes a lot more confident, though a touch on the nihilistic side. Then, she becomes so powerful that she can destroy dimensions and create portals at will, plus it took the power of all the main characters just to knock her out. Once she goes back to normal, though, she becomes much like her former self, with the added benefit of a necessary confidence boost.

6735410

gargh, more anime references I don't understand.

Curse you Japan for making so many things worth watching, without increasing the lifespan of humans!

6734795

So you liked it? :ajsmug: And it is only going to get even more wrong yet enticing from here...

6733565

... Oh, I see how it is. You defined a noodle incident in a previous work, and now you're making one in order to compensate, I see. Well, I have a news flash for you... heh, that's kinda funny.

You know, I still get some grief for that on Turnabout Storm, but what nobody seems to remember is that it was in part based on the script for an unused scene given me by NeoArtimus herself. She was originally planning her own exploration of the noodle incident and Trixie's backstory.

As for *this* noodle incident... stay tuned. :coolphoto:

6733351

Forgot to mention: at your suggestion, I did add the comedy tag. Thanks! :twilightsmile:

6735757 Yep... and I'm calling upon Dustchu, he's needs t see this now!

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