• Published 26th Feb 2018
  • 2,871 Views, 7 Comments

The World’s Juiciest Piece of Gossip - Very Sleepy



Cadance reveals something shocking to Shining Armor on their honeymoon.

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The Big Reveal

“Good morning, honey,” spoke a rather radiant Princess Cadance. The softly giggling mare wrapped her hooves around her husband’s shoulders, planting a series of affectionate kisses up the side of his neck.

“So... you’re finally up, sleepyhead?” Shining Armor chuckled, enjoying his wife’s display of affection as he munched away at his breakfast banquet of eggs and toast.

“You sound surprised,” Cadance cooed, retreating from her husband’s neck as she sauntered over to the other side of the table. Taking a seat for herself as she stared longingly into her husband’s eyes. Though, she averted her eyes briefly as her cheeks burned crimson. “Did you expect that I would be out of commission a bit longer after that thrashing you gave me last night…?”

“Heh. Now, Cadance, you know a gentlecolt doesn’t brag about such things,” Shining said. “But yes… yes I did.”

“Well,” the alicorn said with another small giggle. “On that note, I have another small surprise for you. This one I think you’ll find even more to your liking…” With that, Cadance’s horn began to glow softly with power as a small object was magically levitated up from her side of the table and over to the stallion. Shining’s eyes struggled to see what it was at first. Only, once they did, did his eyes actually bulged out of his sockets.

It was a pregnancy test. A positive pregnancy test!

“T-this is… It. I...I-I-I’m going to b-be a… father?!” Shining Armor stuttered. Hardly able to believe what he was seeing himself. His mind struggled to process everything that was happening. How this changed everything! And he couldn’t have been happier!

“That’s right, dear!” Cadance beamed, smiling widely herself. Yet, her grin seemed... off somehow. Shining Armor couldn’t put a finger on it. Mostly because he didn’t even notice. Too occupied with the news that completely shattered his world. They were going to have a baby! A royal baby!

“This is incredible! I-I can’t believe this is happening!!” Shining Armor gushed. His eggs and toast growing cold as the stallion seemingly ignored their existence. “You’ve made me the happiest stallion alive, babe!!”

“Well…” Cadance chuckled to herself. “If you liked that, Shining, I think you’ll enjoy this even more…”

“Wait. T-there’s more?!” Shining Armor exclaimed, hardly able to control his own emotions now. What could be more amazing than the fact they were having a baby together!? Unfortunately though… his question was soon answered.

Not a moment later, the regal princess sitting across the table enveloped in a emerald green fire. Amidst the flames, the alicorn’s body seemingly changed forms! The pink coat and flowing mane vanished, to be replaced by a carapace and body as black as the night itself.

“CHRYSALIS!” Shining Armor gasped, his emotions unable to do the quick 180 his brain was demanding. Leaving him in a rather emotionless limbo for a brief moment.

“That’s right, dear,” The evil changeling queen cackled. Her smirk wide as she took great care to savor the prince’s reaction. “It was me all along! Your wife was never even here.”

“N-no…” Shining weakly gasped. His face morphing into an even lightly shade of white, somehow, as he realized the impact of her words. “It can’t be true… This isn’t right!”

“Oh, it’s truer than you know,” Chrysalis smirked. She rose from her chair now. It clattered to the floor as she mockingly pat away at her belly, almost as if she were slow clapping. “That’s right… let it all sink in, boy.” Shining Armor was on the ground now, clawing at his mane.

Chrysalis drunkenly laughed as the fruits of her plan were now on full display. After her recent, and rather humiliating, defeat at this stallion’s hooves, this is exactly what she needed! “Not only did the faithful, valiant prince cheat on his oh-so-perfect goody four shoes princess bride, on their honeymoon no less… but the mistress he impregnated with a child is none other than the fearsome Queen Chrysalis herself! The greatest threat that Equestria has known or will ever know!” Shining Armor was curled up on the floor now, slowly rocking himself back and forth, causing the changeling queen to laugh in the face of his misery yet again. Not an ounce of mercy or remorse was cast his way. “Now, my prince. If you do not want the juiciest piece of gossip this world has ever known to be spread to the ears of every mare, filly, and stallion this pathetic land has to offer… you will do exactly what I say from now on…”

“N-no! Chrysalis! You don’t understand!!” Shining Armor now panickedly exclaimed. Rising up to a standing position as he stood before the towering queen.

“Oh, but I do my sweet prince,” Chrysalis grinned. “I’ve beaten you. Easily. I hold, not just the fate of Equestria’s most popular marriage in my grasp, but your heir in my womb as well. But it’s not all bad news for you, dear. Be a good little boy for me, and I’ll even let you name our bastard offspring.”

“Chrysalis…” Shining Armor sighed now, looking much less worried now than what she pictured a stallion in his position to be in, but only for a moment. “I’m…. I’m not Shining Armor!”

“Wait-what?”

A similar emerald green flame enveloped the stallion. His white coat fading away in an instant, only to reveal another changeling standing before her.

“S-sorry…” Cornicle apologized meekly, averted his embassessed gaze.

The shocked and startled Chrysalis took several steps backwards. Shooting one look at the changeling before her gaze slung back downwards to her soon to be expanding belly. The offspring of hers was not of a royal prince’s, but a mere changeling drone who had simply been on the hunt for some princess booty! The real royal couple were actually on their own honeymoon many, many miles away. With absolutely no idea or involvement of the events transpiring here.

As she realized the implications, Chrysalis’s emotions slowly shifted from their euphoric, triumphant high down to sadness… then fury. Cornicle gulped now, ironically feeling the sudden urge to act an awful lot like how Shining Armor would have in his place. Chrysalis shook with rage, her eyes ablaze with same emerald green fire she used to transform.

Why did this happen every time she tried it!?

Comments ( 7 )

Good to see this style of humor break through the repetition of Mary sues filled melodrama fics

Well that was different. You get a upvote sir!

this made me laugh good job sir :moustache:

Why did this happen every time she tried it!

:rainbowlaugh:

Yet, her grin seemed... off somehow. Shining Armor couldn’t put a finger on it. Mostly because he didn’t even notice.

Partly because he had hooves. :raritywink:

Lovely subversion of the subgenre. Thanks for the laugh.

That was goofy. Which isn't a bad thing. :rainbowlaugh:

I nearly broke out laughing in public reading this. Brilliant. 👍

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