What it means to be a Parent
“Ah, so you're the one providing the Canterlot-to-Ponyville school teleportation service for Morning Harmony and her little ones?” Doctor Horses asked, opening the door so Nurse Redheart could enter and hand him another set of files as well as a medical journal. I read the title, Genetic Disorders by Doctor Steady Spell. 8th Edition. My very own book I had updated 8 times.
The presence of my own book raised some alarm in me. “Doctor Horses, what does she have?”
Without giving a reply, the doctor let out a sigh and opened the book. I couldn't see where exactly he stopped flipping through it, but I could make out from the diagrams that he was either reading the nervous system or cardiovascular section.
Appearing to have found what he was looking for, Doctor Horses grimaced, then motioned a hoof to the other chair in the room. Life Sapphire took another long breath accompanied by a wheeze. I could see the pain written on her face and I would give anything now to rectify that. I wanted her to just open her eyes and see me again, to look into the window of her soul and feel my own let out a sigh of relief.
By now, even my long-dead tear glands had reawakened and I was crying as I tried to recall the colour of her eyes. The hope they had held, the desire to play, the willingness to be patient. She was a beautiful little foal and I wanted to see her grow up to become a wonderful mare. I knew what a doctor telling you to sit down meant though. It was not something I had even considered or prepared for.
“Let's have a long talk about this,” Doctor Horses uttered softly. “Can you tell me when she started passing out? What exactly happened?”
The sounds of the hospital droned on outside in the hall as I started to recall when she began to sleep a lot longer than what I considered to be normal.
***
I began to regularly venture forth from my morgue every morning. My precious work had fallen behind to the point where I would never be able to produce a medical paper of any value this month. Rather than doing that, I was instead attending meetings with Miss Cheerilee, the teacher who was highly recommended by the parents at the park. Instead of filing reports and working on bodies that sat in stasis chambers, I was escorting school children to and from a teleportation point. Instead of closing unsolved cases of pony deaths, I played ball in the park with Life Sapphire.
Cheerilee was so nice, even with my disposition as a Lich. She took her time to teach me the same beginner sign language she was instructing Life Sapphire so I could interpret what she wanted to express. If I had spent more time living in the present, I might have learned hoof language well before Life Sapphire came along. Despite my shortcomings, every time Life Sapphire's face was brought before my gaze, I’d smile. Yes, I know a near lipless smile that is all teeth isn't much of a smile, but to me and that little foal, it was a beautiful exchange nonetheless.
My heart would actually beat in her presence, a feeling I had grown accustomed to not having anymore. It was a strange sensation, but very much welcome all the same. I soon realized that, when I felt the sun upon my decayed skin, inhaling deep and breathing became... normal. All of these sensations of being alive, it felt like my soul had been revived. I wanted to protect this precious little creature that had brought such joy to my un-life.
Happiness. It was so precious, so fleeting. Without Life Sapphire, I’d be sure to fall into my dark mood again. It was like night and day; I couldn't focus on work to the point where I spent a day at the schoolhouse with Miss Cheerilee, teaching the children about medicine. Of course, Cheerilee had to see my lesson plan first and approve it, with a few slightly significant modifications here and there.
For once, the look of horror on another’s face wasn’t comforting nor did it bring me sadistic glee. Suddenly worried with my profession and being around dead bodies what I might be doing to Life Sapphire. So far, she seemed perfectly content with things, and she was always happy to take hours telling me through hoof language about what she learned in school.
I was happy as well, happy to stay and watch, learn, and entertain her. I realized, she had rewritten my unlife into a state of living once again. I was able to appreciate the good that my work had done to help doctors have a better grasp in their fields, as a hundred healthy foals ran around playing, completely safe from disease. I felt pride at the worthy cause.
The world rushed back to the present, and I found myself staring at Doctor Horseses. He’d been patient so far, and it was only now that he was gesturing for me to hurry up and get to the part he wanted. I nodded and started to speak, only to hesitate as I felt water in my eyes. No, they were tears. I felt the warmth of salty tears rolling across my cheeks for the first time in 1203 years.
“She… she collapsed three days ago. At first, I assumed it was from her being worn completely out.” I wanted to smash my head into the desk for not realizing something was wrong sooner. “She slept nearly ten hours, which I thought was unusual but nothing more than that. The following day, it was another fourteen hours of sleep.”
I looked up at Doctor Horses, having explained all of this. “T-today, she won't wake up and I don't know what’s wrong!” My shouting caused Life Sapphire to whimper and struggle in her sleep. I hoped against hope that she would wake up, but her breathing resumed being shallow, too shallow for any pony to be awake.
Doctor Horses adjusted his glasses and placed a hoof against my shoulder. “Bone Daddy, she’s dying... Hypertrophic cardiomyopathy. Her heart is far too large for her body. It won't beat properly.” I felt horror, dread from those words. Something inside me had torn apart. My heart pounded so furiously I thought it might explode inside its glass case. “It’s… it’s a genetic anomaly. You wouldn’t have caught it unless you already knew what you were looking for.”
I turned to him and stopped my hoof. “I know what it is! I wrote the medical journal on the condition! She needs a--”
Doctor Horses stomped his hoof to silence me. “Transplant. I know. The problem is that, because she’s a foal, a properly enchanted heart would need to be prepared or a donor would have to be available immediately. We have neither of those things!” Rising from his seat, he then got between me and Life Sapphire. “The best thing you can do is comfort her and hope she gets a transplant donor in the time she has left.”
The realization hit me like a brick wall. Life Sapphire would die. W-wait, I'm a necromancer pony! Death is a quick and easy fix, I could... I couldn’t complete that thought. A giant no hit me like a ton of bricks. That would never be right. At best she would be a lich like me, only she would be forever stuck in a body that would never age any further than she has already.
Worse yet, her experience would likely mirror my own. That no matter what happened, her soul would suffer. She would lose the life in those big red eyes. She would feel like a small dead creature, unable to grow, frustrated with the world around her, and corrupted by her very existence.
I held my head in my hooves, completely distraught. I couldn't save her. I couldn't...
No, that wasn’t entirely true. I could save her, but it will cost so, so much. Doctor Horses had gotten up, and was starting to leave me to grieve. Before he could step out into the hallway, however, I seized his flank with my magic.
“Wait. We can save her.” He looked like I had lost my mind. He might have actually said that out loud, had I not interrupted him with, “It just means that my unlife will end.”
Now it was Doctor Horses’s turn to look like a freight train had rocked his world. He stepped away from me, his face grimacing in confusion before he shook his head. “What, how? Explain yourself.”
My heart skipped a beat, it echoed with a pain I never thought I would experience: the feeling of my own mortality finally upon me. I was going to trade immortality for this little foal? Was I serious? I looked at Life Sapphire. This little creature had, in the span of 29 days, turned me from a unfeeling scientist to a father that couldn't live on without her being healthy and happy.
“Doctor Horses…” I raised a hoof to my chest. “My phylactery, the thing that keeps me alive and rebirths me when I’m killed... it’s a heart.”
Horses’ reaction: raise an eyebrow and look very confused.
I facehoofed when the situation failed to dawn on him. Shaking my head in dismay, I then turned him to square our shoulders against each other. “We can rewrite the spell on my heart. It's already heavily enchanted--the spell just needs to be made to support a living pony instead of a lich.”
It was then Doctor Horses was able to put the pieces together. “But… won't that kill you... permanently?”
I nodded. “Yes, yes it will. But more importantly, it will mean that she’ll live. And while you’re at it, you can take my vocal cords and enchant them for transplant. She can have a voice again!”
Just then, we both heard something that was completely out of place for a hospital. It was the heavy clang of ancient horseshoes from within the hallway. We both turned to the doorway, finding Princess Luna of all ponies standing there with a shocked expression upon her face.
“How long have you been there?” I asked with enough venom in my voice to poison a manticore.
She hesitated took a look around and sighed, “The entire time, while they’ve been running tests; I told Doctor Horses to get everything that had happened so I would better understand how you had changed.” She looked away a bit ashamed, “I should have just asked you myself.”
I got it now, the extra questions; Doctor Horses’s flimsy excuses that made my blood boil or question him. He was getting information so Luna could listen. “You’re right, but that is neither here nor now; I assume you are surprised by my decision?”
“You have been my loyal servant for over 1000 years, Bone Daddy.” She paused, only to break the silence with a snicker on her lips. “I am sorry, but I’ve always found your name humorous.”
Both myself and Doctor Horses looked very unamused.
“Before you commit to what you plan to do,” resumed Luna, “I ask, are you certain that countless lifetimes of medical experience, all your contributions to Equestria, and all the potential you still have, should go to one little filly?” Luna looked at Life Sapphire, and in her eyes I saw it, the thing I had been feeling that I couldn't express or say. The purest form of love given from one pony to another. A kind of innate love that only comes from being a parent.
“Is she yours?” I leaned in very skeptical.
“In a way, she is our’s,” Luna replied in that cryptic manner I often found annoying. At this moment in time, it was especially grating on my nerves. “I saw within her the potential to bring you back to life. I had not intended for such actions to result in you sacrificing that life.” Luna brought her gaze back to me.“As a favor for this, I will enchant your vocal cords so she won't sound like you. It will be the the voice deserving of a proper filly, one who will grow to be a very sweet, kind mare. I am sorry it came to this, I wish I had known of the physical ailment.”
I stepped up to her, the bubbling rage within me overflowing. I wanted to scream into Luna every iota of how she had been wrong to force this upon me. Rather than raise my voice like I wanted to, however, I instead stared at her. She was quite correct. I would have never considered this experience, this course of action, if not for the near 30 days I had spent with this little foal in my care.
“Luna.” Saying her name as calmly as I did took a great deal of effort, but it had to be said. “You will do more than that, you at least owe me that.”
Luna blinked, like I might have just said I was starting a revolution against the rule of the Princesses. “I’m sorry, I don't think I follow...”
“My heart and voice won’t be the only thing she receives from me,” I said, hoping to be as clear a possible. “She is to inherit all my accumulated wealth. Period. I have nearly 1100 years of pay sitting in the royal treasury, mostly unused. Furthermore, you will take her as your personal pupil. You will ensure she is properly cared for, and you--” She took in a long breath but I held up a hoof, I wasn’t finished. “I know Alicorns are capable of unicorn magic and pegasus flight but I also know from years of study, you have the power of an Earth Pony as well.”
The princess put a hoof up against my lips. Doctor Horses looked horrified. Luna hung her head, an expression of guilt and resignation now made visible on her face.
“I take it this is your final request, for all your years of service to Equestria?” she asked, lowering her face.
The moment only passed I nodded, there was no going back now. Not without looking like I was a coward or as though I was not prepared for death. In truth, after so long, the last thing I could bear was to have my soul die again. Knowing my sacrifice would ensure Sapphire got the best life would at least grant me peace this time. She’d get to live a life side by side with a princess who’d care for her.
“Luna,” I said, “see to it that you care for her personally, as if she were your own foal. Remember that I will be holding you to that.”
After a pause, Luna smirked and sighed, “These are acceptable terms; she will stay in the castle with myself and Celestia. I agree that it is the least I can do after so much you have done for Equestrian medicine. For fulfilling my commandment beyond what any pony would ever have expected of you, I will give her the best teachers I can find, including myself.”
She spoke with a sincerity to those words, words that made my heart sink a bit. I realized then that I had broken some unwritten rule: never make a demand of a princess--much less the fact that the demand be met to the letter. As much as I had the right to demand so much after what the princesses had done, I still felt guilty.
“When she wakes up, tell her...” I almost choked at these words. “Tell her that… that Daddy loves her and only wishes she could have shared one last hug with him.” I walked over and hugged Life Sapphire tightly. Crying my eyes out, my horn glowed and I felt the spell that would bring my heart here with us build magic. After that, the spell that would remove my vocal cords would be next. I held her as my horn glowed one final time, unable to speak a single word except a raspy “I love you, my sweetest foal. Daddy Loves You.”
I don’t know when we transitioned there, as I wasn’t paying attention to my surroundings at that point, but I was holding her close in the surgery room as others began work on her. Without letting go of Life Sapphire, I used the last of my magic to ensure that the procedure be done as clean as possible.
“Just stay here with Daddy, let me have one more hug.” Those were my final word as the vocal cords were pulled. I already felt my weakness growing my heart was beating with a pulse to keep a pony alive, not the magic to maintain unlife. I held onto her hoof as long as I could now.
Luna pulled me away with a her hoof, “I would ask that you write down everything that happened. It will take a couple of hours to prepare the spell. I know you should be able to, for her sake.”
I nodded and with a heavy heart let her go for just a little bit. I began to write down the events of the last month.
You, My Life Sapphire, are why this record exists. Please understand that I am sorry and wish it didn’t have to be this way. We only had a day at most by this point, and I made the decision for you, only you. Make sure Luna takes care of you, as she promised. I expect you to be the most magically adept Earth Pony in history and I’ll be looking on from the other side just for you.
There was a knock at the door and I looked to it, Doctor Horses and Luna were standing there. I had no idea how long they had been waiting and Luna was glaring at Doctor Horses as though he’d committed a crime.
“I am done.” I said and passed the partially filled journal to Luna. “When she wakes up, help her read it.” Luna nodded and I was lead to the surgery room.
I saw it, in the operating theatre. I had expected my heart to be black and tarnished but it was bright and vibrant, pulsing at a rhythm that I had expected to only be achieved by the living. Poor Nurse Redheart looked a bit freaked out at the sight of a heart attached to nothing beating. I just smiled at her and nodded my face trying to express thank you despite the centuries of atrophy on my skin and flesh.
Without my vocal cords it was all I could do now. I wished I had been allowed to experience just what it was like to reawaken all the features of my form that emotion could offer. But Life Sapphire took priority and she needed this now.
I noticed Luna had the journal open, with a pen. She was recording my final moments for Life Sapphire. Already taking responsibility for her, I had little to worry about once I was gone.
I gripped her hoof with my own and laid my head against her’s. I closed my eyes as weakness began to overtake me. It was hard to stand, hard to move but I didn’t want to go anywhere I was right where I belonged. I held onto her and through sheer will, kept myself there.
Parts of my body were failing, the extremities I wasn’t focused on being lost to wear and tear. My horn, my rear hooves, my tail. They turned to ash while I held onto her.
Before long, the spell that sustained my heartbeat ceased, trading my unlife for Sapphire’s still-living one. As my sensations began to greatly diminish, I felt Sapphire’s breath roll over my neck, followed by the very first sounds I ever heard from her. Luna had finished working the vocal cords, so they were in place in those final moments. My heart was placed inside her, my spell finished; my horn flared out, then a final few sparks.
My flanks and rear legs began to turn to ash, slowly burning away in a cleansing flame as my soul sought release. My soul awakened, brighter than ever before, flared to life and cleansed the centuries of decay away. Just then, in that fleeting moment, I heard my daughter’s first words, the only words that would ever reach my ears from her. They were weak, but I heard them nonetheless.
“I love you too, Daddy.”
That was the last sensation I had, hearing those words as my final tears took the last of my body with me. Those droplets of pure love touching perfect cheeks.
***
A small little foal steps up to a podium next to Luna. The Equestrian banner and banner of the Crystal Empire fly over a stone coffin. Celestia stands with a space for her sister between her and Cadence. Twilight is on the opposite end. Every pony in Equestria that could make it squeezed into Canterlot. Mothers whose foals had played with Life Sapphire just days before were now gathered at the base of the elevated stage.
“I could say a lot about Bone Daddy,” Luna said, looking over the podium to address the crowd. ”He was a very special pony, with a purpose that has benefited every pony here. But most importantly is Life Sapphire, who stands beside me today.” Luna turned and petted the sweet pink mane of the filly. “But his greatest accomplishment was one he only had 30 days to make, days where this little filly had managed to reawaken his soul.” Luna paused, two tears rolling off her cheeks. “I could say more, but Life Sapphire has insisted she present something just for him.”
Using her hooves instead of her magic, Luna lifted the small filly up onto her shoulders, then onto a platform made for her to stand on. Life Sapphire hugged Luna and received a hug in return, then then neared the microphone as every pony fell silent.
“My daddy, he was a very special stallion. I know he wasn't the daddy I was born with, but he made me feel like I was a special somepony.” She spoke with the voice of an angel, a perfectly crafted little bit of innocence combined with the power of an alicorn's magical precision.
“Instead of trying to say this with words, I want to sing just how he made me feel.” She looked at Luna, who nodded at Life Sapphire, then turned back to the microphone and inhaled deeply. What flowed was a voice that could make a hardened, soulless lich come back to life on the spot:
Dear Daddy, to the world, words must be spoken
You gave me your heart when mine was broken
Your voice is mine 'cause words were stolen.
I sing with my new heart as a token,
A second chance is what I'm given
What hurts is the heart you’re sharin'
I hope you can see me now
For me to walk with you somehow
I want to play ball with you and show
The love in your heart of mine
It makes the light in my eyes shine
I wish I could hug you one last time
Dear Daddy, I hope I make you proud
without you I'd not sing this song aloud
You took me in, and I changed your life
And now you cleared mine of all its strife
When I share with ponies I am your foal
You gave me new life, I saved your soul
I hope you can see me now
For me to walk with you somehow
I want to play ball with you and show
The love in your heart of mine
It makes the light in my eyes shine
I wish I could hug you one last time
Dear Daddy, all will see your hold
They all know now your heart of gold
I'll raise my voice,
you made the choice
You shaped me as a symbol of your love
Watch me now from high clouds above
Through my life your love is shown
I'll become a pony worthy to be known
I hope you can see me now
For me to walk with you somehow
I want to play ball with you and show
The love in your heart of mine
It makes the light in my eyes shine
I wish I could hug you one last time
Please let me know if you can hear my prayer
I wish I could turn and you'd be there
One day, this heart of mine
Will give one last beat to my kine
and then you'll hug me for all time....
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That was a very satifiying way to end it. I wanted them to have more time together. I wanted the love of a child for their father to allow Bone Daddy to be cured of his affliction and for them to grow up as a true family with all the troubles that came with it. For all that I wanted to happen, this is more in line with what feels right than what would get more chapters. I'm glad I found this.
YOU ASSHOLE YOU MADE ME CRY AND MADE ME CATCH FEELINGS!
the story was amazing.
I see it's more or less a shorter story, can you tell me if the ending makes a sequel possible? If I start to like the story, then I like the idea to know that there could be more.
I also would like to know what the movie tag is supposed to mean. Does it happen during the movie or something like that?
9313041
I bought the deadtree books, but they're honestly kind of a trainwreck.
Trying to create a character is a mess, for example. What's your starting HP? Ask your SM, because the book only lists per-level gain! Need to know the other formulas for derived stats? Good luck finding them, since they're hidden throughout the book like an Easter egg hunt!
Typos are everywhere, the formatting is a confusing mess, there are contradictions everywhere, every list has multiple glaring omissions and oversights (Including things like perks which are explicitly mentioned as modifying another mechanic but are not actually listed anywhere in the book), and there are glaring balance flaws that make me seriously question if anyone who actually understood how games worked even looked at this thing.
Also, in spite of this being a d10 system I caught several instances of the book not remembering that, such as horn rings calling for a d20.
Oh, and:
Dragon Ghouls have Balefire breath. They can instantly kill pretty much anything they want.
Petrify is an auto-hit spell with no save that lets you effectively kill anyone with a single round action.
There's a perk that gives foals a bonus when attempting to seduce adults. Fucking. Really?
All of this is completely aside from the technical problems, such as the graphics behind the spell lists making the text nigh unreadable and (in the PDF version) using complex vector art that needs to be recomposited for every page, and accessibility features being broken.
Deadtree hasn't exactly been responsive, so I don't know if they ever intend to fix the PDF copies.
Diary of a Mary Sue was hard to read. They put form over function, and it shows. It's otherwise more or less ok.
The Overmare's guide was actually really well put together. There were a few problems here or there, but after going through the other books I was actually surprised at the competence. Honestly? The worst part of it was that it demonstrated that they COULD do good work, but for some reason chose not to.
Overall, I'm just really disappointed with Deadtree's slipshod approach.
I mention this because I want you to understand just how much effort your SM is putting into giving you a fun gameplay experience, and how they have to make things work in spite of the system they're using.
... I lieu of comments, when lacking, I believe I shall merely post goth country, which is somehow more metal then death metal.
Bone daddy's theme
This was a very satifying read. thank you Fiaura, for the great work of reading! Also, DAMN IT YOU MADE ME CRY MULTIPLE TIMES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
9315584
Our SM is one of the developers of the game.
Second, I've reviewed the system. I do admit there needs to be a bit more clarification on the character creation or a process that makes it easier. There are formulas you are looking for in the back of the book; that are a bit difficult to find but they are there.
I never caught one instance of a D20, I read the entire thing.
Dragon Ghouls get Balefire breath yes but it is still damage based upon perks applied to it and endurance, which means they don't do that much damage.
There is no such thing I am aware of.
If you are allowing your player to play a child, that is your choice, all foal characters require GM approval if you read the book.
I reviewed the other two books. Mary Sue is actually written well for what it is suppose to be, a character creation guide written from a bad OC. The Overmare's guide combine with the Wasteland Survival Guide clears up a whole lot of issues most people have.
I am sorry for your disappointment but from your comments it is clear you did not talk to others who have played the system or people whom know what they are doing in relationship to the books; you bought them and then did not play the game itself. Which is disappointing when I offer a online Roll20 pick up and play game to anyone who wants to join. Presently we have 2 GMs and 19 players in 3 separate groups.
I am unsure further why you commented here and not upon the Dead Tree story instead.
9315916
I made you feel something with words, that means I can't say I'm bad at this anymore.
9315800
Damn, thanks :)
9315504
I don't know about a sequel, maybe a prequel as well as what Life Sapphire does with her life?
9315494
yays! I like that I got called an asshole for this one.
9315440
Which chapter?
9315459
:) *hugs* Glad I could make you feel that again.
9314866
Now I know who you are! Omg I'm sorry we couldn't get you to respond on discord so we had to remove you as a potential bot and send you a message to let you rejoin at any time.
9316194
Thank you. It takes a lot to make me cry these days
9315239
She's an earth pony go on look at pictures of her ;)
9313299
I made sure to connect all the dots and fill all the plot points out as well as correct my early writing into something better.
9316195
9316212
I like you.
Huh. Knot in my throat. This almost got me.
9316200
If you make a prequel or a sequel either way I would be happy.
9316235
I like you too.
YOU rewrote a part of it and made it BETTER!!!!! *Deep Bow*
9316271
We rewrote the whole thing ;)
I'm glad we made it better for you.
9316247
I will keep that in mind.
9316241
Almost got you? No I think it hit just right where you needed today.
Hmmm.. have you thought of having the boss of the afterlife deciding Bone Daddy deserved a second chance?
9316394
Well then, that might be something to do!
9316394
I like how no one noticed at the beginning of the chapter, his real name reveal.
A nice if sad story but I do love the picture with Twilight and Cadence crying their eyes out at the funeral.
9316461
We thought that was just a pseudonym! Would be easier to cover up his age with one that rotates every century...
Heh, tears....... downright actual tears.......kudos my good word smith.
9316394
"uh, ma'am, we have a problem." "well? What is it?" "well, it seems like we have a reservation for one 'Steady Spell', but he's being held up in the Astral Plane pending commendation, and this missive just came that indicates the Darke Magik contract he held is currently under amendment." "so? Go fetch him then, Darke Magik contracts from that period are well known to be solid and unalterable." "that's just it, sir, they're claiming to invoke the right of Harmony Ascendant. But I thought that was impossible from how the contract works!" "well! Get our top agents on this at once! I cannot allow this possibly feeding a line of hope in our current and future tenants!"
9317152
*WolfGrin* well if Harmony isn't enough I can always Ascend to my True Form to get him I'm out.
9317152
Omg this is amazing and I should do this!
9317148
Mission Accomplished.
9317040
You can thank Ravvij for that one. Credits are in the description :) Give em more work if you can.
9317214
This is the part where we find out Luna is really the Grim reaper ;)
9316391
Nah, im an emotionless asshole so i made a bookshelf on my account containing stories that have made me shed tears.
9317664
I am honored to be on that bookshelf.
9318250
Wat, you're not on it.
This was... fast. I like the idea of somebody getting thrown out of their routine and discover good things about themselves, but that happened crazy quick here.
9321244
Over the course of 26 days.
9321494
Exactly. Less than a month and they’ve gone from “mechanically going through the motions” to “my entire worldview was wrong and I must live life!”
Less that, even. Barely a week goes by and that foal becomes his world.
9321556
Think about parents having children and for a person who hasn't seen things outside of their work.
Think of your coming into the fandom how you see people go from: Those girly things. To: Whose best pony. In like a week.
This isn't uncommon for people who have sudden shocks delivered to their life and interruptions in their daily routine.
9321576
You are correct in all your arguments.
I just can’t help but feel that the story went a bit too fast. Sorry. Wish I could give some more constructive criticism, but that’s all I’ve got at the moment.
9321807
I mean, I also gave myself an artificially created deadline, so I had to keep to it.
9351019
Uhm….I'm a proofreader myself & yeah, I miss stuff. "To err is human", but if you have to TELL people that you have a proofreader, then perhaps they're not doing a very good job.
Just a thought.
9351036
Or perhaps you are being far too nick picky about it if you find 3 errors out of 18K words. Because the average for a printed fiction novel is 7 errors per 10K words.
9351257
Way back in the 1950s
John W. Campbell was considered the best Sci-fi editor in the world.
Forest J. Ackerman published a prominent fanzine. At one of the World Cons, Campbell was bitching
"I've probably read more bad Sci-fi than anyone else in the world"
Ackerman replied "If you think that what people want to get paid for is bad, you should see what they're willing to give you for free"
& offered to trade slush piles . John refused
1) I realize that Fimfiction doesn't pay anything. What is done on this site is done simply for the sheer love of it, NOT for monetary gain. Nevertheless, IMO people should have enough pride to do their best & to correct errors
2) Those weren't the errors in the whole story. Those were the errors in the first chapter (1165 words)
That many mistakes in that short a time, well, I've seen worse on this site -but not many.
So please forgive me for not realizing that the story had been proofread
3) I was a little snarky. But, if, in your opinion, that was too rude.....
I could cite a number of MUCH harsher examples. Here's one by Mark Twain
http://twain.lib.virginia.edu/projects/rissetto/offense.html
Now THAT is a bad revue