• Member Since 17th Jul, 2017
  • offline last seen 18 minutes ago

Fiaura


Hi, Yes I'm Queen Quake, Wandering Sunrise, and Tread Lightly - I like Explosions, 40K, Ponies, Anime, and Explosions....that's about it. Check me out on YouTube just search Fiaura ;)

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Tread lightly is considered a brillaint flawed scientist. A few ponies are ashamed of her while others appear to embrace her ideas. Today however, her new lab assistant has finally arrived and with that it is time to begin a journey to create something beautiful for those whom have suffered the loss of a wing.
Her new assistant and an old friend will face a few trials along the way past the northern lights of equestia and into the depths of the mountains to search for something that fell from the stars. All this way only to discover the reason why no pony really uses the star rock known as iridium; as something terrible is secretly awaiting their arrival. It even goes so far as to inhibit their journey, terrorize the ponies, and leave them with scrambling for solutions to their troubles.

Chapters (11)
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Comments ( 70 )

Nice start :) hope this continues on. Any ideas what the bird thing is or is it an idea thats going to evolve as the storytelling goes on?

8312375
I know what it is but telling that now will reveal too much of what is planned out.

HYPER PEGASUS, AWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!!!

Yes I sigh up I hope your happy with your self now. I got in to this because of Armored Warfare. I now have another reason to hate that game. :) But great stuff anyway Fi.

8326299
I'm glad I gave you more reasons to hate our Russian Overlords.

just got in,,, ooh you went with that myth,, hehe.

8338801
I am not sure the myth of which you speak ;)
as for the foreshadowing I mean I have to build the characters and make you like them otherwise why care what happens to them?

um two possible typos,,, tip is off!” I think that is supposed to be trip, and" With the rocks in place they off the soft ground " I think were is left out,,,
I really like this story I think it is off to a good start.

You know, Fi - I see a few things you could add to the thing. First up, Equestria does have a descently sized train network. Whereever the party wouldn't want to go, they would travel most of the way by train. Unless you later bring this up and state that Thread Lightly is banned from trains for some experiment OR let us pinpoint Stalliongrad in some border area with making their way away from any train conections.

Hell, I don't even see proper descriptions of background. They walked out of the city and where are they? Is it an ice desert? Tundra? Taiga? Steppe? Considering they are going to go against a Thunderbird in proximity to rare metal ore and far from the equestrian train network, it's eather in the direction of Gryphonstone or Dragon Realms. Yes, those are valid concerns - you don't have an alternate universe tag.

-The One who kills people

8342157
I will consider adding these things to previous chapters as well as to the chapter we are writing right now on live stream.

And I don't have an alternative universe tag because as far as I am writing this takes place in the Universe we already know.

discharged haphazardly while the colors of fall served to make the scene all the most devastating rather than of serene beauty. I think most may be better worded as more, love the story miss FI, also please tell hitomi to stop beating her self up.

8342157
The train issue I'm bringing up later when it comes up naturally rather than state it up front without prompting.
I'll work on those descriptions basically go back and finish the story with them perhaps or work through the background a bit more for chapters 6+ then correct chapters 1-5 as I get the opportunity.

Didn't feel I properly answers this the first time.

If the main OCs in this story were voiced, what would they sound like?

I know nothing of the other Ponies. But you said some thing about as fast as Rainbow Dash. I take it that is a really fast pony?

8384366
That is a question I hadn't worked out yet! I probably should do that.

8384658
I mean I could show you some clips that would get the point across ;)

8385488
Do you know who'd voice them now?

8441231
I well no i hadn't thought about it yet.

I think i found an spelling error :

The three edged deeper into the cave. The sound of raindrops gradually got quieter. The echo of their hooves was all they could manage to hear. The vein was getting thicker the deeper they went. At hard turn, the cave opened up into a massage chamber. They felt a yawning void stretching out around them. The paltry light of their torches and magic no longer able to illuminate the rocks above them or to either side. All three ponies stopped and gave an inhale as they stared in awe when they took the next step.

8478991
Happens sometimes; not perfect, thanks for letting me know, fixed it. Glad you actually read all the way through.

8521338
Nope, Native American Legend.

8521736
Oh wow, you're actively replying, that's...

Well, be prepared for a stream of comments as I binge this, fair warning. :twilightsmile:

Whee! An adventure begins!

Hmmm. Methinks someone has attracted the ire of a power that is...

Roll for initiative!
Slowly Messer is getting acclimated to the eccentric mares.

or not. Just a hint of things to come...

Hmmm, something tells us the deceased brother might be important...

8384658
Consider this: Rainbow Dash cleared the clouded skies of a small town in ten seconds flat.

8524473
But that is rainbow dash, most Pegasi take much longer to do that job.

8357657
You're most welcome and I agree about Hitomi.

8525024
Irrelevant. We're comparing against Rainbow Dash, not most pegasi.

8525489
You're getting it and you got this far.

8525493
We're pretty confident we know what's going on. 72 percent confidence in the most likely conclusion.

A small amount of respite before the rage returns...

And we're back to the initial scene!
Poor guy, needs a good sedative...

well, at least he gets to test first hoof the new wings...

yup. It's too bad he couldn't be reasoned with. Maybe with better preparation... But no. Too little too late, immediate solutions were required.
That's two ponies Tread will likely get blamed for the death of now. That's going to be tough working out of...
Good fun, we enjoyed this fic.

8525530
you will find when I write stories about her, I am placing one of my friends who is gone into the story and they are dying in a way similar to how they passed in real life. Life lessons though loss.

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