The beach is a wonderful place. More than anything else, it's the getaway to end all getaways: a chance to drink in the sun and the surf and lose track of the outside world. And for two ponies looking to get away from different things, it's a nice little pocket of paradise. For a time, anyway.
It's a shame that paradise isn't perfect. It's a shame that paradise doesn't last forever.
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All of my thanks to Flashgen for going over this story for me. And while I can thank Alex Pall and Andrew Taggart for inspiration, it's more for the following quote than anything else:
Paris \`pa-res\ n
1. A sentimental yearning for a reality that isn't genuine
2. An irrecoverable condition for fantasy that evokes nostalgia or day dreams.
Here's to the lies that are beautiful, everyone.
i dont get it are you saying that shining is cheating on candance with pinkie and that pinkie wants more but cant or is just an outlet for shining
Wow man. Just wow. Normally Shiny and Casey are a 'canr be touched' couple for me, as in, there is no splitting them up, but this story could probably change my mind. It seemed interesting from the summary although I sorta guessed what was going to happen.
I'm sad for Pinkie. Looking beyond the wrongness of cheating, I'm sad she isn't happy and she doesn't feel like she can talk about it. It makes me wonder how this started, how Shiny feels and if he likes her or is using her, and just
I have a lot of thoughts on this. Very good story, great description, good characterization...just a good story on the whole. The party thing confused me a little, bc why would they throw a party if their time is meant to be secret, but beyond that, I'd say it's near perfect.
8703150
i didnt get the story could you explain it to me since you seem t understand it
8703150
The "evening beach party" is another one of those informal constructs where you don't really invite people you know, there aren't really any invitations and there isn't really a schedule; someone gets a bonfire set up and passes along word of mouth, and a couple of hours later there's a small gaggle of people standing around and doing shit (in my experience, a lot of drinking tends to be involved.) Though I'll admit that the assumption's more of a "personal experience" thing than anything else, and I'll accept fault if it feels like a misfit.
As for the details of the situation, without really wanting to put anything down in hard writing, I'll point out that relationships built on secrecy and distrust don't tend to end well and don't tend to be entirely happy. This doesn't mean that the opposite's automatically true, though, where everything's a loveless matter of convenience and use. This particular situation falls somewhere near the middle of that scale, but whether it lies closer to one end or the other is more up for you to decide than anything else.
In any case, I'm glad that you liked the story.
8703114 Even if it doesn't spoil things overtly, explaining the details of a story in the comments kind of ruins the "vibe" of it; I leave the interpretation of events in your hands.
I read this to see if you could successfully pull off what's usually one of my pet peeves... and I'm sorry to say you didn't. I just don't buy this, from skipping over how they got here to Shining doing this to Pinkie agreeing to it to... well, any of it. I just can't see this coming about based on what I know about the characters.
Don't get me wrong, this was a beautifully atmospheric piece and a fantastic presentation of the emotional costs of infidelity, but I just couldn't accept the premise you've presented. Thank you for your effort; here's hoping a better audience enjoys the story.
I confess, I'm really not sure where this is going. There is basically nothing here beyond two ponies playing in the surf. Nothing but the here and now. No reason, no justification, just a very Pinkie point of view.
This just seems like it came out of nowhere. It doesn't fit the tone of the rest of the conversation.
I'm curious, but the moment of carefree fun is over. As Shining said, on the beach was timeless, thoughtless relaxation, but here on the path, it's just going from point A to point B. Almost like both of them are talking about the story itself.
I'm just not convinced that Pinkie would do something she didn't want to. I get that the story isn't about how they got here, but I can only imagine (because you didn't tell us) that, at least the first time, Pinkie wanted this. You implied that Pinkie knew what was coming because it had happened enough times that the event itself was a foregone conclusion. She is stuck doing something she doesn't enjoy because she feels that it's something other ponies need?
It really feels like this story is not about what it seems to be about. I just can't quite nail it down.
This is delightfully atmospheric. The story gives just enough detail to pain an emotional picture, an impression, and strips away everything that's not important to that. Except that last line which felt kinda blunt.
However, I feel this would have worked better as an original story. FIM just doesn't have fitting characters for this situation. Not even in a dark AU I could see Shining and Pinkie in this. Pinkie especially.
It's not even the first or second story in recent memory that would have worked better as an original. What's it with writers and ponies?
9173816
Weirdly I feel this set up would work better with Rarity