“Aren’t you worried about getting burned, Pinkie?”
Shining Armor and Pinkie Pie’s shadows cut dark trenches into fields of brambles and prairie grass, and dirt-road dust stuck to their ankles like faded glitter. Pinkie paused on their walk from the beach to brush a salt-addled clump of tacky mane out of her eyes, and giggled as Shining Armor fixed her with a concerned stare.
“Nope!” Pinkie beamed. “Not anymore!”
“...Anymore?” Shining Armor probed, quirking an eyebrow.
“Yep! It used to happen, like, all the time when I was a little filly. There was the whole growing-up-on-a-rock-farm thing, and the working-all-day-on-a-rock-farm thing, and the sunscreen-is-a-frivolous-luxury-and-it’s-best-if-we-learned-to-endure-as-our-ancestors-did thing! So Limestone and Maud and Marble and I used to get burns, like, alllllll the time. We used to even talk about it!”
Pinkie stopped to poke at her body; a flank here, the back of her neck there, before swiping a hoof down one entire side of her body, as if she was an impressionist painter. There wasn’t a single prod or gesture that came without explanation:
“And then there was the time that limestone and I were trying to push a biiiiiig rock away from Holder’s Boulder, and it almost shaded both of us - but not quite! Limestone was so mad for, like, a week and a half. I don’t ever think I’ve seen her that mad! Except for maybe half a dozen times or so.”
“Uh huh.”
“And there was that time when it was Maud’s birthday, but dad wanted us to get some furrows dug on the ground to “put our surface minerals to good use” for a farming thing that...I don’t think it went anywhere, but we spent half a day pulling things north to south. And then after lunch, we did more from south to north! So we got the same side burned twice, and I said that we all looked like we painted half of ourselves a different color, and Maud just made the silliest face, like…”
Pinkie put on the sternest, dreariest face she could muster, which was approximately one hundred times more expressive than maud appeared on most days. Her acting skills ensured that she was able to maintain the expression for roughly 1.2 seconds, before she burst out into a fit of giggles.
“And-and it was the funniest thing ever! And Limestone got so mad, like…”
Pinkie’s imitation of an angry face was approximately five hundred times more cheerful than limestone’s typical countenance. This time, she managed to hold her angry face for 1.6 seconds before cracking up again.
“I see.” Shining Armor replied.
“You should have seen it! It was the funniest funniest thing ever!” Pinkie beamed. “And then there was that time i was trying to find ground-level mineral deposits, so i kept digging holes, but my tushie kept sticking out every time-”
Pinkie reached behind her and patted her rump for emphasis.
“So I got such a big burn from that! I looked like I had a little candle lighting up my patootie…” Pinkie looked back at Shining Armor, and saw that the neutral, slightly bemused glimmer had given way to an undeniable hunger.
“Yes?” Shining Armor murmured. “You were saying?”
“...and it made sitting down a little painful for almost a week.” Pinkie concluded. She wasn’t shocked to see the hungry glint in Shining Armor’s eyes disappear, wasn’t surprised to see his brow furrow in mild disappointment.
It didn’t exactly make her heart soar, though.
“Ah.” Shining Armor paused. “You know, if you forget the sunscreen, I can bring some for you next time.”
“Okay!” Pinkie replied, mustering up a cheerful smile.
“And if you need help putting it on, you know that I can help you, right?”
“Absolutely-tootly!” Pinkie nodded her head. “Next time we go to the beach, right?”
“Of course.” Shining Armor grinned at her.
Pinkie turned back to the road and kept walking. After a couple of moments, the crunch of grit beneath her hooves was echoed by Shining Armor, and the two of them took to the meandering path in silence.
One minute passed. Two. Three.
“...Shiny?” Pinkie Pie asked.
“Hmm?”
“Why do ponies always think of the beach when they want to go on vacation?”
Shining didn’t respond for a second or two. Two monarch butterflies flitted out of a thicket to Pinkie’s right, dancing in an irregular waltz towards the sapphire sky.
“I think it’s because the ocean never ends,” he finally replied.
“Huh?”
“You go on vacation to relax, right? It’s a chance to get away from work, family, that sort of thing. But, like, if you went somewhere like Manehattan or Las Pegasus, the only way to make it relaxing would be to schedule in all kinds of activities. Sightseeing, dining...shopping, maybe.” Shining Armor kicked an errant pebble into the weeds, where it collided with a dandelion and sent a small puff of white into the air. “And then the whole vacation’s just bouncing from activity to activity, like running through a checklist.”
Pinkie shivered as a stray breeze lifted the dandelion seeds into the sky. Shining Armor gave no indication of noticing the shiver or the seeds, save for a faint crack in his voice.
“You might as well just be at home.”
Prairie grass gave way to fresh sod. The path grew tidier, as if well maintained, and Pinkie saw their trail wind up towards a house on a hill.
“But what about nature walks, Shiny?”
“There’s still a path to follow. Start at A, get to B, go home. The beach doesn’t have that. You can spend an hour, five hours, a day. It all feels the same. Time doesn’t exist there, you know? So there isn’t anything you have to do. There isn’t any responsibility. Nothing to take care of. Just...do whatever you feel like, forever. No responsibilities, no consequences...you know what I’m talking about, right?” Shining Armor turned to Pinkie and flashed her a wry smile.
Pinkie paused for a moment, then nodded. She kept the smile on her face as the house drew closer, step by step, and hoped that Shining Armor didn’t notice the plastic veneer that had crept into her dimples. The sun continued its inexorable slide across the sky, baking the two of them as surely as it roasted the prairie grass behind them.
“...Shiny?” she finally probed as the dirt gave way to smooth cobblestone, a slicker path towards the house that loomed in front of them. “Aren’t you worried about getting burned?”
Shining Armor chuckled. “Who, me? Nah. I’m wearing plenty of sunscreen. Besides - we’re here.”