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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Well, at this point, I think we can confirm ignorance on Celestia's part in things, and probably Luna's too. Now if they can get over their jealousy and past grudges, and the fiction that they have the moral high ground, so they can actually listen, this might have a chance of ending peacefully once the real villains are rooted out.
Hurry with the next chapter please.
i know he had to reveal his herd at some point but isn't it counter productive at this point, luna and celestia bias towards them will make them discount anything he say making it hard for him to get through to them
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And keeping them secret would have helped how? Better to get the reveal out of the way now so they can focus on building trust in one go, rather than building trust only to torpedo it and have to start from scratch by hiding them.
Thanks for the chapter
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they be more inclined to believe him or at least open to discussion, from this point he got to get over the hurdle of changeling queen is controlling you, she lying and manipulation you, this is a plot, are you even a alicorn and not a changeling in disguise etc, ari could have admitted to having a herd who have members that they react badly to and will reveal them later once he prove the damage he claims they done is real, instead of what was effectively to them a villain reveal, honestly this is got them more focused on ari relationship with their arch Nemesis then the damage they caused
Sanity. Is that u.(sanity crying in corner)
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They'd have to deal with all that at some point anyway, and like I said, keeping it secret is likely to wreck any progress made when it comes out later, as opposed to getting it out of the way now, and with Chrysalis and a siren involved, they're likely to think it all a trick at some point anyway. Besides, part of their education is going to be looking past their prejudices and preconceptions, and that includes towards Chrysalis and changelings in general. Might as well get them started on that too.
well it is time for Celestia and Luna to face all of her mistakes and the best way is to rub there snouts in them and smack them over the head with a rolled up newspaper.
Yes the epic story continues plz keep up the good work
More please
Oh, I think I heard something shatter...
Always excited to see this story update!
I fear that they will just escape and not learn anything but "Ari is fake/brainwashed"
At Least take them to an uncontrollable climate area first, to add some weight to his words.
Take heart, players. At least this isn't the bad ending.
More please.
We need more chapters, this is too good.
Several parts of this chapter are a bit difficult to follow. Maybe revisit it with an eye towards "what was I thinking when I wrote that, that I didn't realize I didn't manage to get into the text?" That might help it flow a bit better. As it is, the logic of the "discussion" is a bit broken up. It stalls oddly, then leaps forward, leaving a reader to go, "Wait, what?"
Also, once or twice you seem to have two characters speaking in the same paragraph. This is a no-no. When Luna interrupts Ari, cut him off with an em dash and put her speech on a new line.
I’ve read this over the past month or more, hours at a time, usually till 2 AM (like now). I just want to say this is some serious gourmet shit, one of a kind story of a rare god quality. I’m going to have a hard time finding something else to read.
Even though it’s been awhile, I’m still looking forward to the next chapter
So any update to how the next chapter’s coming along?
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The chapter is in beta limbo. Hoping to be released soon.
Thank you for letting us know about what happening. love this story. hope to read it soon.
When are you coming back, author
I wish Ari had tried to be a little more eloquent and persuasive. He could have started by assuring their physical health and asking if they required any medical attention. Next assure their safe return and possibly offer himself to their judgments afterwards. Then asking his team to tell their stories. If his herd was to be revealed, it would have been last. He’s still left out lots of details. The princesses will not be very receptive now that Chrysalis is known.
He could have also offered a farce: blame their bindings on Blueblood. “He monologued like a villain, saying the one who gave me the cake ingredients was on his payroll. While distracted, somepony bound you both. I panicked and fled with you.” That would lend its own set of problems later, though.