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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Fleshy
8553896
imagine it said drawn out like you are golem's "prescioussss". i was going for creepy.
8553902
sorry, but for me, that's not scary.
"...fleshy..."
... nope still not.
8553950
That's okay. I'm not the best at scary yet.
Any suggestions?
8553975
simple don´t its to funny.
keep up the good stuff
Jeez, these former mortals, how inconsiderate. I only ruined her entire life, sheesh!
*Quietly reads on*
You're in the Matrix, Neo.
Now i'm gettng a Soul Reaver vibe.
RAPTURE!
This. This right here is why people like epic level DnD campaigns where you kill gods.
... so when does the weirdo explain exactly how Luna and Celestia are messing things up? Because that malarky in the first chapter does not scan, as any change the sun and moon could effect would of been immediate and cataclysmic rather than slow and subtle. And if somehow things didn't to pot in the first hundred years or so, and those changes didn't change further? Then there wouldn't be a problem there be a problem there either, because ecosystems can and do adapt to small changes. Heck, they can even recover from Apocalyptic one's. Just Google "mass extinction events".
And how would knocking up Luna and Celestia solve anything?
Put together it just seems like the god is saying something along the lines of "get those crazy broads out of power and back into the bedroom where they belong". The main character certainly doesn't help things, either.
Okay, so the diety Dickheadeous has chosen to involve themselves. Joy.
8553975
Adding y or ie at the end of a word is almost never creepy, unless it is a character who used to say it when they were normal and then later says it in that creepy way as a 'perversion' of innocence or such. I would say 'flesher' is a bit better, but I would also note the change of the voice into a more menacing/hostile manner, maybe even noting how the voice "sent shivers through his very being" or some such. One of the most important tools for invoking an emotion is build up. Noting the little things that the main character is feeling as the event proceeds is a great to get the reader in the same mind as the MC
Or at least these are my thoughts on the matter.
The deity is an absolute dickhead... And a very irresponsible one that needs others to do the work for them like a fat lazy fuck... Much like jabba the hut
8767461
I'm not entirely sure, but I think the author means that Celestia and Luna are using their powers to give Equestria perfect amounts of sunlight and ideal tidal patterns, and combining that with the pony's control over the weather/seasons/nature to give their country ideal weather conditions at all times is causing serious issues with the weather for other parts of the world.
9589197
There are many possibilities. I've just started this, and I've already thought up a bunch of ideas on what kind of "clock" we're talking about.
One idea, is that there's actually become an imbalance in their "harmony," if you will. Their actions in manipulating the celestial bodies is quite possibly breaking some fundamental balance between Order and Chaos, and eventually, that imbalance is gonna be corrected, VIOLENTLY. It could be catastrophic natural disasters, the birth of some destroyer, or a shift in the world's populace that essentially creates an MLP World War with extinction as the ultimate result.
The other idea is that, as you've stated, there is some major BS goin on with the day cycles and natural phenomena around the world. This could spill over into the Pony lands in some ways, including a variety of tide issues. However, this could also be similar to the World War scenario I mentioned above, and the other nations/races are gonna try to violently dethrone the two tsuedo godesses.
Bullshit. I'm a modified creature who was taken from 'her ' home and forced against 'her' will to be this!...THIS PIECE OF FARM EQUIPMENT! I OWN YOU NOTHING! so kindly send me back home or fuck off and your little planet can go supernova for all I care!
Is what I would have said~tehe