Itchy & Scratchy

by totallynotabrony

Chapter 13

The pub didn’t have a stage, just a chair and a little bit of open space towards the front of the room. Octavia sat there, playing cello.

Being that particular pub, the night crowd was, if anything, larger than during the daytime. Live music wasn’t a regular event, but when Octavia inquired about playing, Jack had smiled and said that he had been waiting for her to ask.

Octavia kept her head down, loose hair across her chest as she played, slowly working the bow with her right hand and the strings with her left. It took a little while for the old movements to come back, the muscle memory still returning. That was alright. She had nothing but time.

Even above the music, she could hear conversation. Octavia had never played at a pub before, so some background noise was to be expected. Still, when she did sneak a glance up, there were at least a few people paying attention.

After playing for twenty minutes, she’d finished her rehearsed material and put the bow down. Adjusting her skirt, she stood up from the chair. A light scatter of applause went around the room.

Not feeling dramatic or deserving enough to take a full bow, Octavia simply nodded once. Maybe that was something else that would come back with time. The limited applause was still the most praise she’d gotten for anything in years, however, and she couldn’t stop a flustered smile as she walked away.

She joined Vinyl at a table. Jack appeared to pour the tea as Octavia sat down.

“Vinyl told me you were good,” he said. “And you are.”

“Thank you.” Octavia looked across the table. “Did you really?”

“Why wouldn’t I have?” Vinyl grinned.

“You don’t like cello.”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t tell people you’re good at it.” Vinyl took a sip of her coffee. “Now that we have so much time on our hands, you’d better be.”

“It isn’t as if we’re on vacation,” Octavia corrected.

“Yeah, but it sure seems like Fancy’s getting closer to his goal.” Vinyl shrugged. “I have to say, I was skeptical that he could ever kill all of evil, but if anything you’re the one who deserves most of the credit.” She waved her hands. “But listen to me. ‘Oh, if only Tavi wasn’t so good at killing bad guys we could still find some action around here.’”

Octavia sipped her tea. Vinyl had gone quiet. The two of them sat for a moment. Vinyl fidgeted. She took off her pink sunglasses and folded them, laying them on the table.

“So...after it’s all said and done, is this it for us?”

Octavia met her eyes. “What do you mean?”

“I’ve lived through enough eras to know when I’m staring at the end of one.”

Octavia frowned. “Vinyl, we’ve already had this discussion. You’re my friend.”

“You got your revenge, shares of evil on the morality market are down, you’re even back to playing cello. I just feel like you’ve moved on and now we don’t have any reason to hang out.”

“We’re hanging out now,” Octavia pointed out. “You’re here and you don’t even like the music.”

“I just...I can’t help but imagine this is the end of a movie or something. I’ll say a one-liner like ‘wear your sunscreen,’ and you’ll reply ‘mind the silver bullets’ and we’ll both turn away and ride off into separate sunsets.”

“I’ve often wondered how your imagination works, but this gives me a good idea,” Octavia said. She paused for a moment to organize her thoughts. “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me. I know we only met because Fancypants thought I needed someone to help me adjust. And I take it that you think I have now and that you aren’t needed anymore?”

Vinyl took a breath. “...yeah, that’s it.”

“Maybe I don’t need you. But that doesn’t mean I don’t appreciate you.” Octavia shook her head. “I can’t believe you of all people are worried about something like this.”

“I never had anyone I was so worried to lose,” Vinyl muttered.

Octavia paused, and looked down at her teacup. “Well, you know me. Was it not obvious that I never really had many friends, much less a friend like you?”

The tension in the air evaporated.

“I guess I can see that,” said Vinyl. “God, you must have been Queen Introvert.”

“Between the OCD, the hours of cello practice, and underdeveloped healthy relationships, yes, I think that’s accurate.”

Vinyl looked around. “Does Jack do birthday parties? I wonder if he has any cardboard crowns.”

Octavia sighed and rolled her eyes. “But I wouldn’t want people staring at me.”

Vinyl flashed her a grin. “The crown was going to be for me.”

Octavia laughed.

Vinyl went on. “But seriously, OCD? I thought that was a vampire thing like in the stories about how vampires were always counting.”

“It is, it just made it worse.” Octavia paused, stifled a smirk, and then quietly added, “Ah ah ah.”

Vinyl pounded her fist on the table and threw her head back with laughter, drawing the attention of people from other tables.

She was still giggling as she put her sunglasses back on. “Well, I’m glad we’re friends, Tavi. I was trying to think of what I was going to do if I didn’t have you. Take up skydiving. Get into fights. Maybe start a little challenge for myself to set up the most complicated one-liner. Like I would get religion and get up into the priesthood just so I could say, ‘the power of Christ impales you!’”

Octavia laughed politely. For people who knew her, that almost drew more attention than Vinyl’s noise.

“You’re awfully merry for murderers,” said a voice.

Octavia looked over her shoulder, spotting a man from another table glowering at them.

“You again?” grumbled Vinyl. Octavia glanced between her and him.

“I heard what you did,” he said.

“You’re going to have to be more specific,” said Vinyl.

“Then it’s even worse than I thought,” he said. “Just how many people have you killed?”

“Oh, and what about you?” said Vinyl. She winked at him, which probably only Octavia caught behind her sunglasses. “Yeah, I had Fancy look up a couple things. Nobody’s as squeaky clean as they like to think. I wondered why you were objecting so strongly to murderers being murdered.”

Much of the pub had now gone quiet. Jack was hurrying over.

“Are you teaching her the same thing?” the man flicked a hand at Octavia. “The gospel of Fancypants? How to upset order and throw the world into chaos?”

“Well, that, and I keep trying to get her to have sex with me,” said Vinyl.

Octavia blushed.

“As despicable as you are, I can only imagine how a girl like her will grow up. Probably a whore like you.”

“I’m sitting right here,” said Octavia.

“There’s no need to bring her into this,” said Vinyl, her tone dropping to neutral. “You should apologize to the lady.”

As close as their relationship was, Octavia had greater insight into the subtle nature of Vinyl’s speech and body language than perhaps anyone. She saw a tension in her shoulders and legs and subtle expressions others might have missed behind the sunglasses.

“Lady,” he sneered. “As if you know anything about that.”

“I don’t,” said Vinyl. “But she’s slowly teaching me.”

“Really?” said Octavia.

“Slowly,” Vinyl replied out of the corner of her mouth. She turned back. “And you still haven’t apologized for insulting Tavi’s honor.”

The man sneered. “Make me.”

Jack reached their table just then, for all the good it did. Vinyl ignored him, turning to look at Octavia, eyebrows lifting above her sunglasses.

Octavia’s lips showed a smile so slight only Vinyl might have caught it. “If you must.”

An equally fleeting grin flashed across Vinyl’s face before a mask of pure rage replaced it. She flipped the table as she got up, screaming “No more mister nice bitch!”

Jack sighed and closed his eyes as the fight broke out.

Octavia, having had the foresight to pick up her teacup before the table went over, took a sip, still smiling.

Comments

[totallynotabrony]

Honestly, I'm mostly just surprised that nobody connected what happened to Octavia's father getting pregnant.

[jwizard]

Not that I'm complaining, but how in the sweet hell does a piece that doesn't even take place in Equestria even make it past the mods to be posted, let alone feature?!

Still, gotta love it for what it is. As I lack a shelf for those standalone fics that don't fit into either of my favorites shelves, it'll have to take up residence in 'read it later'.

You'll still get an upvote tho.

[Dustchu]

8622047

Honestly, I'm mostly just surprised that nobody connected what happened to Octavia's father getting pregnant.

...
...
wtf? When did that happen?!

But regardless of that, freaking awesome story dude, this had it's own neat little charm to it and was one hell of a great story! I really enjoyed it, from start to finish, this was a great read. Vinyl and Tavi's interactions were hilariously perfect, you wrote them well.

So, good show, awesome job, and I'm happy I was able to read it all

[Tedious_Blizzard]

Soo, this is it? No more bar fights :(
Oh well, it was an amazing story... can we have sequel please?

[Neece]

8622047
Wait, what? Explain, please.

Loved the story. Their interactions are top notch, and it's a tantalizing glimpse in this world or darkness you created. Kudos for that.

I still ship them, though. And that's never going to change, NEVER!!

[N4rwh41]

Sequel pls.

[Frankie2]

8622047
That line was as out of left field as the question that blond assistant D.A. asked on Law & Order when she got fired and asked 'Are you firing me because I'm a lesbian?'

[Philosophysics]

8622047
WAIT WHAT THE FUCK!?

[guang]

Loved the story man, had me smiling all down the line.
Cheers

[totallynotabrony]

8622755
8622749
8622477
8622264
Chapter 2: “That is so fucked up,” said Vinyl, when Octavia told her the story much later, after they had been introduced. “The only reason you’re here now, the only reason they didn’t take the time to drain you completely, was that they decided to stop and fuck your-”
Chapter 9: Octavia’s father looked much the same as he had except for one glaring addition. His stomach was grotesquely distended, probably adding a few stone to his weight without affecting any other part of his body.

[Philosophysics]

8623021
Wow. Thanks for the fucking nightmare fuel.

[Neece]

8623021
I chalked that to some bizarre mutation, to be honest. And though the first one referred to her mother. Kudos for the fridge logic nightmare fuel, though.

[Dustchu]

8623021

Well then... that's a thing.

[Thestral Music]

Wait, it's over? Fuck!

[Lithl]

8622195
Stories don't have to take place in Equestria, they have to be related to pony.

[jwizard]

8514095

Couple of things; one related to your comment, one that isn't.

The stuff about vampires is a modern knock-off of how Dracula's real nature was exposed whenever he looked in a mirror. Mirrors had more to do with ghosts and demons than anything else. That's the one related to your comment.

As for using silvered glass to make mirrors, they never stopped. It's not straight silver though. The process involves layering silver, tin, and paint, but this silver is the one that provides the best reflective surface.

That's for mass production. The silvered glass that they use for buildings and two-way mirrors is a different process, which is why it's more expensive.

How do I know all of this? Well, one of my favorite shows to watch is How Do They Do That? on the Science Channel. One of the episodes of that show- along with How Its Made -shows the modern mirror making process.

[AppleTank]

8622195
Technically, one can sorta consider this EqG, if you squint.
Fics also get a pass as long as it uses some piece of Pony, mainly in either the characters (Human/Pony Lyra in space), or the setting (Joseph Pony buys a house in Fillydelphia). Even read a fic where a human turns into a pony, and it was considered ok as long as the character was shown turning into a pony in the first chapter.

[AppleTank]

And thus ends the music duo as they fight crime, sorta.

[GildedSteel]

Honestly, the character Dynamic between Tavi and Vinyl is fantastic. One of the best duos read lately. Bravo!

[star1wars3]

9104864
Fiction was wrong, you CAN change the past.

[Viddaric]

9794422
I was misinformed, Clam Jam is in fact more popular. I still like Beaver Dam though.

[Sylica telca]

I'm kinda sad to see it end