Just as Twilight starts finally talking to pony Flash Sentry, she encounters a stallion named Black Gryphon, a singer and vocal artist who travels all over Equestria doing performances. He instantly falls in love with her and vows to win her heart but he soon finds out that Flash now has his eyes on Twilight too. Can Twilight choose which stallion is better for her or will this be a never-ending battle to woo the Princess of Friendship?
Inspired by Gabe Brown/Black Gryph0n's quote "Twilight should be dating MY OC!" from Bronies React. Blame Gabe. :P
DA version (has song lyrics) - http://aleximusprime.deviantart.com/gallery/63133234/Twilight-Should-Be-Dating-My-OC
Chapters (7)
Even Celestia wants Black Gryphon.
More like Twilight should be dating somepony other than Flash ^w^
8201720
OOOOOOH!!!
8201552
He's that much of a stud! XD
Wow...I read the title and I already knew the direction of the story. Then I read your four chapters and I've gotta say, you need to improve.
This story is so one sided. People read the title and say to themselves, "oh look, another person who hates flashlight"
The plot is so see easily created it angers me to no end! Here's some advice, for one of the chapters you should write how Flash try's to create a love song of his own for twilight, but can't get the lyrics right. And for another scene you should wright how Black Gryphon is starting to go bankrupt do to the enormous amount of money he spending on the dates for Twilight and the fact he's stayed in Ponyville instead of going to other cities for other concerts.
After a little further into the chapter, both Flash and Black Gryphon are seen sitting on a hill telling the other how they don't have a chance with Twilight. Then, the two realize that with Flash's good guitar skills and Black Gryphon's amazing lyrics that they could create the perfect song for Twilight. So the two team up and do just that, Flash joins Black Gryphon's band, and the two become best friends. Friendship wins, the crowd goes wild, everybody wins and some people lose in the process.
But it's your story so do whatever I guess.
8203899
no offense but you really should wait to read the rest of the story first.
Not enough has happened yet for you to assume I'm just crapping all over Flash in this story. Flash will have his chance to shine later and I have something clever coming up to bring out both of their flaws and good points.
Also, the fact that you assumed I'm just "another person who hates Flashlight" doesn't really make this critique look that sophisticated. What you might have missed is I've made pics like this, this, and this thus proving I am fine with the FlashLight pairing and still find it to be cute. I just made the GryphLight fanart and this fic as a bit of a nod to my friend Black Gryph0n and how much he and everyone else loved the image and the idea for the story encouraged me to write it.
Your ideas are nice and all but please don't try to give me any. I'm writing this story by myself and I want to use my own original idea even if you think yours is better . Again, you can't critique the direction of the story cuz you don't know where it's going so I would wait till it is done for that. I don't mind critiques but I would prefer you wait a bit longer or else critique how well these first 4 chapters are written or something.
8204092
Oh...well now I feel like a jerk. Sorry.
8205725
all is forgiven, just don't assume too much about the direction of the story till you read all of it.
8206411
Yeah, I'm pretty much a Hippocrate for saying that
Black gryp0n:" NO NO NO! This isn't right... Twilight should be dating my OC!!"
go flash!
Black Gryphon should go for celestia instead of twilight just leave them alone twilight is in love flash.
That quote by Black Gyph0n.
I saw that reaction video, and I like to ask a question if you know the answer to it.
Was that bit by BG an overexaggerated parody of the "Waifu Wailers" after the first Equestria Girls flim came out? (It's the only thing I can think of other than him actually being serious, which I am more than convince he wasn't.)
8387733
Yeah, it's kinda obvious he was joking around. He doesn't hate Flash but he (like many) agrees that Flash needs better character development and it is kinda weird seeing him and Twi together since they are technically different species. Gabe jokes around about those things a lot though, in reality, he was actually mocking people who are all mad about Flash because they think he is "stealing their OC". He admitted either at a panel or in the Semi-Perfect Podcast recently that he loves to riff on things just for fun even if he's not serious.
8395461
Thanks answering that, I was more than certain that was the case.
I'm one of those who agree Flash need development, my own stories are partly to do that and my own worldbuilding. (I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to put Alternative Universe on my stuff soon.)
Trouble is, all the stories I done involving Flash so far have high dislikes. I recently did one story without, a follow-up story to Triple Threat and I got less dislikes then my others. It's a bit unfair if it's just people hating on Flash.
8395488
Sorry to hear those stories get bad ratings, that doesn't seem very fair. I haven't read them but I hope it's not just cuz Flash is in it that they hate it. I tend to argue that the fans do better with Flash than DHX did since it doesn't appear Flash gets much improvement in character development (which annoys me) so in all honesty you and I have done more than what they could.
8367354
Pffff, she's a bit too old for him don't you think? :3
Luckilly I read somewhere that the quote was not meant seriously. So that helps me when it comes to reading the story. Or did I get that wrong?
sorry to break it to you two, but Twilight’s dating my OC! He’s a black and red alicorn born in another dimension that was brought here after the mane six defe- *WACK!!!!*
...
Sorry about that guys! My inner demon got out for a bit but I managed to regain control. Anyhow hoofs off my WAIFU!!!!
9094560
Funny cuz that's practically the same description Gabe gave me when he jokingly told me to draw his OC for him back when I met him in 2013 at BronyCon. XD
For context: https://www.deviantart.com/aleximusprime/art/A-commission-for-Black-Gryph0n-390961685
Which one? We live in a sparkly CRYSTAL Castle...
Ah, young love. Adorkable Twilight. Hit me in the feels.
Oh, the irony
Haha! While I do find nothing wrong with ships I am more of an action thingy stuff.
Taking a break and looking at this was beautiful and full of a lot of laughs. Thank you.
Aww, it's so cute!
Awesome!
Not related to the story but I thought the quote was a ‘mock quote’ from AnimatedJames acting as BlackGryph0n and I believe the react was from the “Rainbow Rocks” Equestria Girls movie. I don’t remember if Gabe ever said it himself, if he did, that’s hilarious.
Just a question: Will this story Continue?
11750414
Good question. I’ve unfortunately lost motivation to continue it and people already know the outcome anyway.