Keep Calm and Don't Kill Anyone

A brown van rolled down the streets of Canterlot. Behind the wheel of said automobile was Limestonia Delores Pie. Beside her, in the passenger seat, was her sister, Maudalina Daisy Pie. And in the backseat sat their youngest sister, Marblelina Danielle Pie. They were currently on their way to the store to grab a few things for their father.

Limestone grumbled. "I don't know why Pa made you two to come with me. I can handle myself!"

"In most situations, yes, you can," Maud replied in her emotionless, monotone voice. "But Pa was concerned due to your road rage problem."

Limestone turned her head to glared at Maud. "I don't have a road rage problem!"

"Watch out for that curve." Maud said without even sparing her sister a glance.

Limestone turned to find herself approaching a curve in the road at an unsafe distance. With a start, she swiftly turned the wheel and narrowly avoided the curb.

Marble yelped as she was jerked to the right.

"...That didn't prove anything." Limestone firmly stated.

Maud gave her sister a look. Of course, it didn't look different from her normal look, but her sisters could read her. "What about those three guys who bumped into us that one time?"

Limestone gave the orange-skinned boy another sock in the jaw, knocking his teeth out and sending him to the ground.

A few yards away, the dude's friends stared in horror. "Come on, Score! Let's get out of here!" The dark brown one said as he started to run away.

The blue/grey one, Score, looked to his retreating companion. "What about Hoops?"

"He's done for! Let's just go before she turns on us!"

Realizing the implication, Score followed Dumbbell and left Hoops to his fate.

Limestone picked up Hoops by the back of his shirt. "I was wondering what would break first, your spirit..." She deadlifted him over her head- "Or your body!" - and dropped him back-first onto her knee with a crack.

Hoops could only whimper in agony.

"Hey, those punks had it coming!" Limestone retorted.

Maud glanced aside. "Maybe, but that isn't the point. What about that guy you ran over?"

"That wasn't my fault! He ran right into my path!"

"You could've helped him."

"Someone else did, so it doesn't matter!"

"And that family of ducks?"

Limestone vividly remembered that one. That Fluttershy girl sure could be scary when she wanted to be. "It's not like I hurt any of them."

"And the group of hippies? And the drunk girls? And the mime?"

Lime turned to glare at Maud again. "Okay! I get it!"

"Watch out for that car." Maud noted.

Limestone returned her gaze to the road to see that she had accidentally steered to the wrong side... and was approaching an oncoming car. She quickly turned the wheel and got back on the other side of the road as the other car honked.

Marble yelped as she was jerked left and then right.

Limestone took a deep breath. "It's not my fault the world is full of idiots!" She grumbled.

"Just try to control your anger, Limestone." Maud said with her usual calmness. "Ma and Pa would be disappointed if you got arrested... again."

That got Limestone to soften up a little. She remembered the look on her parents faces every time she had gotten arrested before. As prideful and ill-tempered as Limestone was, she absolutely hated disappointing people; especially her parents. She sighed. "Alright. I'll try to keep myself under control."

"And me and Marble will help. Right, Marble?"

"Mmhmm." Marble answered hesitantly.

They rode on in silence. Limestone continued to take deep breaths just in case some idiot decided to incite her wrath. Marble hugged herself and kept her eyes glued on Limestone as if she was a grenade about to explode. Maud... Well, you know. As they got closer to the store, they came to a traffic light... and a red sports car came out of nowhere and pulled in front of them as the light turned red.

Limestone's eyes nearly bugged out of her skull. "What the- Did they just- I know they did not just-!"

"Easy, Limestone." If you really really really paid attention, you might have picked up the tiniest bit of nervousness in Maud's voice... maybe.

"They just pulled out in front of me! ME! Limestone Pie!"

"I'm reasonably sure it was an honest mistake." Maud tried to reason.

"Do they know who they're dealing with!"

Maud turned to Marble. "Any ideas?"

Marble trembled in fear at Limestone's anger and shook her head.

Maud reached into her pocket and brought out her pet rock. "What about you, Boulder?"

Boulder gave her an idea.

"Okay. Limestone, try to think of your favorite song."

Limestone's eye twitched as she stared at the car in front of her; her body shaking in rage. "My favorite song?" She said through clenched teeth. "Umm, what was that lullaby that grandma used to sing? It was her favorite."

Maud thought for a moment. "...I can't remember the lyrics." She turned to the youngest sister. "Marble, can you hum the tune?"

Marble thought for a moment. "...Mmhmm." She took a deep breath and started to hum said lullaby.

As Limestone listened, a sense of nostalgia and relaxation came over her. As she focused on Marble's humming, she felt the desire to get out of the van, drag that idiot out of their car, and beat the tar out of them lessen to a manageable degree. The light turned green and they moved on. Marble continued humming both to keep Limestone calm and because she really liked the song herself.

Eventually, they finally arrived at the store. All they had to do was find a parking spot... Which was a problem. The parking lot was filled and none of the three sister's could see an open spot. Limestone's eye twitched. "Hum louder, Marble."

Marble complied.

Limestone drove around the parking lot, trying to find a spot. The more she looked, the more her anger boiled. Why wasn't there a single spot?! But finally, to Limestone's relief, she saw a car pull out and go, leaving a spot open. "It's about time." She said with a sigh as she approached the spot. However, the same red sports car from before drove around from behind them and took the spot. Limestone stared wide-eyed in disbelieve.

Marble nervously continued humming.

"Quiet, Marble!"

Marble jumped in her seat and hid behind her hair.

Limestone drove forward as the driver of the red car got out. It was some girl with white skin and hair, with a dash of purple in the hair part. She also had yellow eyes and matching lipstick. Limestone pulled up beside her. "Excuse me, but that's my parking spot." Limestone said in the calmest voice she could muster.

The girl raised an eyebrow. "I don't see your name on it."

Maud put her hand on Limestone's shoulder only for her to smack it away. "Why don't you just move your car out of my spot before I move it for you!"

The girl sneered. "Get your own spot, doofus." She said before walking away.

Words could not describe the look on Limestone's face as she watched the girl walk away. "D...Doofus?" She felt the gas peddle under her foot and felt every temptation to press down and run the broad over.

Maud held Boulder up again. "Any other ideas, boy?"

Boulder gave her another idea.

"Try praying, Limestone."

"Pray?" Limestone was barely paying attention to her sister.

"Maybe God will take some of the anger away."

Limestone took a very deep breath as the van started to slowly move forward."Oh, dear God... I know I haven't been behaving my best... and I know I haven't talked to you in a while... but I pray that you help me to not kill this skank!" She felt like her eyes were about to shoot lasers and destroy the entire store. "Oh, Lord, help me! Help me, Jesus! This broad is gonna get me sent back to jail!" Her grip on the wheel tightened harder and harder. "...I don't think this is working!"

Maud looked to Boulder. "Anything else?"

Boulder couldn't think of anything.

However, right as it looked as though Limestone would drive the van right into the store, she suddenly became calmer. She backed up until the passed by the girl's truck. She undid her seat belt and stepped out of the van. "Wait here." She said before closing the door.

"No... Stop... Come back..." Maud said just so she would be able to say that she said it.

Limestone walked to the side of the red car and pulled on the handle; the girl had been stupid enough to not lock the door. She got in the car and fumbled with everything for a bit before getting out and closing the door. She got back in the van and moved on. "Tell me if you see another spot." She said simply.

"What did you do to her car?"

"Don't worry, it's just a little prank. She'll know not to mess with Limestone Pie from here on out."

Maud wasn't convinced. "What did you do to her car?" She repeated

A few minutes later...

Gilda got in her car and put her key in the ignition. As soon as she turned the key, the engine exploded and the airbag hit her right in the face, knocking her unconscious.

Maud gave a nearly unnoticeable shrug. " I suppose that's progress."

They found a spot and went into the store. Once they had what they needed, they started their drive back home. As they got about halfway home, Limestone sighed. "I'm sorry, guys. I know I have issues. I swear, I've tried to work through them, but... Ugh, it's so dang hard!" She hit the wheel in frustration.

"It's okay, Limestone." Maud assured her. "You've made a lot of progress. Slow progress, but progress nonetheless." It was true. Limestone in her preteen and teenage years was a nightmare. She never harassed her sisters, but other people... Frankly, messing with the girl's car was a big step up. "And we'll help you through it. Right, Marble."

Marble smiled. "Mmhmm."

Limestone gave her sisters a smile. "Thanks."

"Watch out for the deer." Marble warned.

Limestone returned her attention to the road just in time to dodge a running deer. She yelled and hit the wheel. "Every time I look away! It happens every time!" To Maud and Marble's surprise, Limestone actually started laughing. "Hehehe Ahahaha! Every. Time. Ahahaha! It's ridiculous! Ahahahaha Hahahahaha!"

Maud and Marble looked at each other with concern. Limestone had officially flipped... and it was a long ride home.

Author's Note:

Now, this is a story that comes from personal experience. Every member of my family has a road rage problem. I haven't tried for my driver's license yet, so I don't know how I would be, but I have seen it unfold. Of course, none of us beat people up; just get mad at their stupidity.

I really really like Limestone and I have wanted to do a story about her for quite some time now. From her quick temper, antisocial behavior, and immense pride in her line of work, I have diagnosed her with Asperger's Syndrome; and I should know because I have it too! So I can very much identify with her.

Sooo, yeah. This story comes from a very real place.

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