17. Half and Half
Her Royal Morning Coffee
Half and Half
“They just look so cute.”
It was a phrase Dry did not normally hear in his own bedroom, particularly with the dim glow of dawn tinting the drawn shades and the furnace-like warmth of a passionate alicorn wrapped around him.
Dry Roast opened one eye.
Four mares looked back.
Closing the disobedient eye would not make them go away, but it was worth a try.
“Do you think it’s a variant on the sleeper hold?” said a voice he could recognize as Rainbow Dash.
“Naa,” said Applejack. “I like the way her mane and tail has him all tied up. She don’t even need no rope.”
“Shhh,” said Fluttershy. “They’re nesting. She must be about ready to lay her clutch.”
Dry Roast opened both eyes, even though he was unable to shift positions due to a combination of wings, legs, and otherworldly mane and tail holding him, which was fine because he really did not want to move anyway. “We’re not nesting,” he whispered. “Sorry, Fluttershy, but alicorns have foals like other ponies. It’s just the process to that point is… complicated.”
“Tain’t too complicated,” said Applejack. “Same pegs go in the same holes, after all.” She eyed the two ponies entwined on Dry Roast’s huge new bed. “Expect you know about that.”
“We haven’t been—” Dry Roast lowered his voice after a quick peek at the sleeping alicorn. “We haven’t gone that far,” he admitted. “She doesn’t want to put Twilight at a disadvantage. Now, is there some reason the four of you wanted to see me?” He eyed Rarity, who appeared to be mutely ecstatic with the vision of an upcoming wedding and the outfits that went with it.
“Ain’t really you we was here to see,” said Applejack. “We done went up to Twilight’s castle first, on account that Rainbow’s got some weird ideas about princess nooky—”
“Just saying, it would be awesome,” said Rainbow Dash, who seemed a little put out at missing some hot princess on princess action.
“Anyway,” continued Applejack, “there’s a little something this morning that got missed.”
“Yeah, this morning,” said Rainbow Dash. She went over to the blinds and raised them, revealing a dim Ponyville under the light of the moon, which was hovering near the horizon despite the lateness of the morning hour displayed by his alarm clock.
“I slept through the alarm,” whispered Dry Roast. “Everypony outside the shop will wonder where I’m at.”
“Ah’m pretty sure they know,” said Applejack. “Besides, it ain’t your morning ritual that needs doing.”
“Oh?” said Dry Roast, considering the moon stuck on the horizon. “OH!” He wiggled around as far as he could get and nuzzled up near Luna’s ear. “Your sister is ready to raise the sun, um…”
Dry gave a nervous look to the audience of Element Bearers, then moved closer to Luna’s ear. “Mooney? It’s time for the sunrise.”
“Mgmph,” muttered Luna, shifting position enough to get her lips on Dry for a clumsy kiss. “Ther’s something else that’s risin’ too.”
“Mooney? Luna,” hissed Dry Roast. “We have guests.”
“Um?” Luna opened one eye, observed the four ponies standing in Dry Roast’s bedroom, then closed her eye and scooted over on the bed a little. “I’ll share,” she muttered while descending back into slumber. “Just save enough for me.”
“Make one move toward that bed, RD, and I’ll bite your tail off,” said Applejack.
“Aww.” Rainbow Dash took a long look at the way Dry Roast had maneuvered himself in bed, then looked back at Applejack. “You do know about morning wood, right AJ? That’s probably why he’s twisted around to keep his belly pointed away from us.”
“Oh!” said Rarity with a bright blush. “Come on, Fluttershy. Let’s give the lovebirds some privacy.” The unicorn fled the field of battle, with Fluttershy being towed along behind by her tail ignominiously and protesting about wanting to count the eggs, even after the two of them passed the nocturne maids who were peeking into the bedroom door.
I really need to get a locking door for my bedroom. And the window. First things first.
“Luna.” Dry Roast blew into one of the perfect ears that turned in his direction and watched it twitch. Even that did not wake her up, so he took the ear gently in his teeth and…
“Ewumph!” Princess Luna woke up with an abrupt sneeze, blinked several times, and regarded the two ponies remaining in the bedroom. “Applejack. Rainbow Dash. Were you wishing to compete with me for the affections of my intended also?”
Applejack rolled her eyes and poked a hoof at the twilit landscape outside.
“Oh! Beg pardon.” With a glow of her horn, the moon fairly vanished below the horizon and long-delayed sunlight swept across Ponyville as the sun bounded up into the sky. “You know,” added Luna in a near predatory purr, “your friend, Twilight Sparkle, hath not been providing the necessary competition to properly quicken my eggs in the way I so wish. I would not object if her friends were—”
“Aand we’re out of here,” said Applejack, turning on her heel and heading to the door with Rainbow Dash’s tail in her teeth. The closing thump of the door made Luna yawn with a display of many more teeth than Dry Roast was really used to seeing in the morning, and a look of mischief in her eyes that made her next words fairly purr.
“And you, sweet creature who felt it needful to prevent your princess from getting sufficient sleep with your delightful nips and nibbles.” Dry was unceremoniously dumped out of bed and onto the warm bedroom rug. “Do hasten to your place of employment and inform the management that I require an additional hour or two of slumber this morn, lest I be fatigued this eve when my moon is scheduled to rise. We should be in by late morning, or the noon rush at the earliest.”
Luna snuggled back under the covers with a happy smile, leaving Dry Roast to plod away to his abbreviated bathroom activities before work.
~ ~ ☕ ~ ~
“I’m going nuts, RD. I really am.” Dry Roast paused with the container of protein powder in front of him and Rainbow Dash’s order floating off to one side. “Did you want three scoops of powder in that cappuccino affogato or four?”
“Four, and a squirt of that caramel stuff.” Rainbow Dash cocked her head to one side and dropped the bits on the counter while Dry finished up her order. “Got a good workout routine set up for today and want to get balanced on my electoralites before I start. So why is Twi driving you nuts? Other than her being Twilight, of course.”
Dry took a look at the lack of customers in the store and decided that the relative privacy of the moment would be a good time to get the problem out in the open. After all, he had not figured out a solution, and Rainbow Dash knew Twilight about as good as anypony.
“That pool makes our dates like having a rock in the coffee grinder,” said Dry Roast. “We get up to the point where we’d smooch, and somepony comes out of the woodwork with a stopwatch to see if they won. We’ll never get any further that way.”
“Soo…” Rainbow Dash took a long drink out of her mutant energy drink/coffee product. “If you two don’t do the dirty, Princess Luna won’t either, and you can’t dump my friend to go love it up with her in Canterlot and make a bunch of little alicorn babies?”
“Errr…” Dry Roast considered for a moment before shaking his head. “No, that’s not it.”
Rainbow Dash furrowed her brow in unpracticed thought. “So you want to dump Princess Luna for my friend and start up Nightmare Moon all over again?”
“No way.” Dry Roast considered what they had talked about last night… well, when they were talking and not nibbling. “If that were going to happen, she would have lost it when Princess Cadence chose Shining Armor and they mated. I mean… You know what I mean. Anyway, they had a hot and heavy competition for Shiny, a lot hotter than you’re thinking from your expression, too. Literal horseshoe melting and scaring the castle help kind of competition. And she still likes Shining Armor and Cadence, although not in that way, you perv.”
“Just sayin’ it’s cool,” said Rainbow with one hoof across her chest. “And hot.”
“So if Twilight and I start kissing and that leads to other stuff—”
RD let out a quiet wolf whistle, which Dry Roast tried to ignore.
“—alicorn hormones get involved, which means our relationship could get very hot, very fast for a while, a lot faster than she might be able to handle. Particularly since she’s never had a coltfriend before at all.”
“She lives in a crystal castle,” said Rainbow Dash with a shrug. “It won’t burn down.”
“And if Moony… I mean Princess Luna turns up the heat at the same time, and lures me away from Twilight, she doesn’t have the same emotional experience with a breakup—” Dry Roast put his chin down on the counter and blew a breath out to make a few strands of his forelock float momentarily.
“Yeah, I see what you mean,” said Rainbow. “Twilight could get hurt.”
“Ponyville could get hurt,” said Dry into the counter.
“You could get hurt,” said Rainbow Dash.
Dry Roast shrugged. “If by some fantastic chance I survive through the next year without dying from—” He could not help but smile, which gave Rainbow Dash the most conflicted expression.
“Hey, I’m awesome, but I’ve never managed to—” Rainbow chuckled and tapped her forehooves together “—one of my dates to death before. You’re telling me that you really think, you honestly believe that alicorn nookie could be fatal?”
Dry Roast nodded. “Particularly, if I wind up with both of them,” he added.
“Whoa.” The cheesy grin faded away until Rainbow Dash had about as serious expression as she could muster. “That is so awesome. They’re going to erect a statue of you in the town square. And by erect, I mean—”
“I know what you mean,” said Dry Roast quickly as the tinkle of the bell sounded over the shop’s front door. “Now, scoot. I’ve got customers.”
“Employees,” corrected Luna as she strode into the shop with every ethereal hair in place and with an expression of subdued smugness. “Ah, and there you are, Rainbow Dash. We have arranged an event this afternoon to smooth things over with Twilight Sparkle, out in the town square. If you would be so good as to ensure she attends, I believe everypony will be satisfied with the solution.”
“Sure, no problem. Ah, but I do have a question.” Rainbow caught Luna before she made it all the way around the corner into the employee section of the shop and just looked at the tall alicorn. “Dry says it’s possible that he might… die from you two getting frisky. Is he telling the truth or just pulling my tail? I mean I’ve never heard of—”
Luna kissed Rainbow Dash, and not just a simple peck on the cheek. Lunar princess and high-strung pegasus were caught in a lip-lock for several minutes while the few customers out in the main room looked on in fascination and Dry Roast counted time on the nearby clock. Finally, long after he had expected the kiss to end, Luna moved away with a sly smile, leaving Rainbow sitting on her haunches while staring into the distance.
“Not bad,” said Luna before taking a drink out of Rainbow Dash’s ice cream coffee. “This is quite delicious also.”
“I think you may have broken her.” Dry watched the experimental subject while Luna was getting her paper hat and apron on. In a few minutes, Rainbow Dash began staggering for the front door, muttering something incomprehensible, and after several tries, managed to get outside and pointed in the direction of Twilight’s castle.
“Merely stunned,” said Luna. “Admirable stamina.”
~ ~ ☕ ~ ~
It felt a little uncomfortable for Dry Roast to be standing out in the town square with Luna at his side, more uncomfortable when he thought of the possibility of perhaps surviving the process of alicorn mating and winding up in an alicorn marriage. After all, the last alicorn marriage had come with a side order of changeling invasion and topped with a little kidnapping and mind control for the bride.
Luna would probably enjoy it all far too much. Twilight would take notes.
The crowd was not exactly excited by Ponyville standards, because nothing was on fire or exploding, but there was a look of anticipation as if they had all smelled the faint waft of smoke on the air, or the hissing of a fuse. There were a lot of knowing looks out there, and more than a few subtle glances at Luna’s sides, as if perhaps the two of them were going to use this public event to announce a pregnancy, or an upcoming alicorn egg.
“Princess Luna!” Twilight Sparkle floated down to the stage with Rainbow Dash tracing a slightly unsteady path to a landing next to her. “What’s going on? Rainbow said I was supposed to be here, but she didn’t tell me why. Is there a monster attack? Some sort of friendship emergency?”
“Something quite close indeed,” said Luna. “And just in time, too. Please stand here, Twilight Sparkle, and Rainbow Dash may stand beside you.”
Once they were all situated, Luna turned to address the townsponies.
“Citizens of Ponyville,” she started in a controlled blast that staggered several of the nearer audience. Dropping her volume slightly, she continued, “It has come to our attention that a disruption in our beloved Equestria has caused the young Princess Sparkle some great distress recently. Miss Heartstrings, will you please step forward.”
It was less a question than a direct command, and Lyra hesitantly stepped to the position indicated.
“As the designated keeper of the Pool—” and the capital letter just seemed to drop into place like a star plummeting from the sky “—you are responsible for determining the pony or organization who has reserved the time segment upon which the accumulated revenue will be paid in the event Twilight Sparkle gets her first kiss? While awake, of course.”
Dry Roast blushed. Twilight Sparkle blushed even brighter. Lyra nodded.
“Tell me, what group or pony has reserved the ten seconds after one o’clock this afternoon?”
Lyra got out a notebook the size of an unabridged dictionary, with thesaurus. “The Rarity Unicorn Charitable Fund for Orphans, Widows, and the Disabled.”
As one, every pony in the audience turned to look at the Ponyville clock tower, then turned to look at Luna, who was licking her lips and applying lip balm.
“That’s low, Mister Roast,” said Twilight Sparkle in a hiss, trying to look past Luna at where Dry Roast was cringing. “How could you… wait a minute. You’re not sneaky enough to come up with this.”
“Sheesh, Twilight,” said Rainbow Dash. “Rarity’s name is right on it. I saw her and Luna talking about something this morning.”
Luna nodded. “She said something about ‘locking herself in the bank vault until you calmed down’ I believe. Now, if you are prepared, we can both eliminate this embarrassing burden which you are carrying and do a great good for the needy ponies of Equestria with one action.”
“I can’t kiss you!” Twilight stammered and pointed at the clock tower. “I’ve still got at least a minute left. There’s got to be another way around—”
The hands of the distant clock shifted, and a single bell rang out.
Princess Luna leaned down…
And Twilight turned abruptly to kiss Rainbow Dash directly on the lips.
It was, by no means, a kiss up to her usual standards, as Dry Roast noted with considerable internalized smugness. It barely lasted a few seconds, although mostly because Rainbow Dash slithered down to the stage floor and landed with a thump in the middle of being kissed.
“Oh, no!” Twilight bent over her friend and poked her with one hoof. “Is she injured?”
“Probably just fainted,” said Dry Roast, peering around Luna. “I used to do that a lot when you first became an alicorn. There’s this thing you do with your bottom lip—” Dry became abruptly aware of how many eyes were on him, and he wisely shut his mouth, bottom lip and all.
“Alicorn passions are powerful things,” said Luna. “You must learn to measure your power, control the ebb and flow of the hormones in your blood.” She nudged Rainbow Dash with one hoof, and looked moderately impressed at the resulting groan. “Now, I must see to the transfer of the Pool funds. Please take your friend back to the castle where she can recover. We shall meet with you there.”
~ ~ ☕ ~ ~
It was pure coincidence that the best place in Twilight Sparkle’s castle to put Rainbow Dash to recover was Twilight’s bed. Dry Roast wound up doing the carrying, placing, and checking, while Twilight took care of door-opening and navigation through the maze of corridors.
“Is she injured?” asked Twilight, peeking over Dry’s shoulder.
“I think she needs mouth-to-mouth resuscitation,” said Dry. “Or at least that’s what she said a few minutes ago when you weren’t watching.”
“Hey,” objected the patient. “Less talking, more smooching.”
Dry Roast had no idea if the windows in Twilight’s castle opened. After watching the way Twilight Sparkle propelled her friend out the window, he still did not know. She was going to need to fix the resulting hole, though.
“Can’t believe Rainbow Dash would be that sneaky,” groused Twilight Sparkle.
Dry Roast wanted to say something in response, but the prospect of being propelled through the same hole without the benefit of wings to break his fall kept him civil. Twilight seemed to come to a similar conclusion, and lit up her horn to patch the hole in the window.
“Shut up,” she added while the window reassembled itself under the power of her magic. “I can’t believe Luna thought it would make me more romantic to kiss me out in front of the whole town.”
“It does cut down on the publicity,” he put forward cautiously. “And Luna made sure the pool went to a good cause.”
“True.” Twilight took a deep breath and turned to Dry Roast with a tense smile. “Well, this is my bedroom.”
“I’ve been here before,” reminded Dry. “Twice, actually.”
“Uh…” Twilight retrieved a long list from her bedside table and drew a line through one of the entries. “Yes. I knew that. So we’ve had the date, and the bedroom… um… stuff that doesn’t involve directly—” Twilight tapped her forehooves together quietly.
Dry Roast craned his neck to look at the list. “That leaves making out, going to a concert, meeting his parents, him meeting your parents, introducing him to the princesses—”
Twilight drew a line through one of her checkmarks.
“You better mark out Cadence on that list too,” suggested Dry. “She’ll probably give you suggestions, tips, pointers, and a few more entries on those checkmarks.” He pointed at a list further down on the sheet and stopped to read them. “Really? I take it back. I think you’ve covered just about everything… Oh, wait. There’s another page.”
He read for a while before reaching for the quill with his magic. “I don’t think that’s a real position,” said Dry, pointing but not marking through a particular entry.
“It most certainly is,” said Luna, who had somehow slipped up to right behind Dry while he was not looking. “Your checklist is a magnificent idea, Twilight Sparkle. You can show our lover each of these—” Luna nuzzled into Dry Roast’s mane and did that thing that always made his knees into jelly “—and once you have completed your futile attempts, I shall show him how it is really done.”
“What?” Twilight Sparkle’s eyes narrowed to slits and Dry could swear he heard her growl. “It is so on.”
“Good.” Luna’s smile could have easily been mistaken for the expression on a tiger who had just scented blood, but it went away in a moment when Dry Roast wadded up the list and tossed it into a nearby trash can.
“No,” he announced. “If the two of you are going to fight that way, you’re going to have to find another… um… me. I’ll still be the same stallion you were with last night, Princess Luna, and I’ll still make you coffee in the morning, Princess Sparkle, but that will be all.”
“Oh,” said Twilight with her jaw hanging open.
“Ah,” said Luna while her smile returned, only far warmer. She turned to Twilight, gently lifted under her chin until she was no longer gaping like a fish, and embraced her with both forelegs and wings. They stayed together like that for a long time, with Twilight hesitantly adding to the hug after a while and Dry seriously trying not to think of hot princess-on-princess action, which was made more difficult by the way Luna kissed Twilight on the nose when they broke their hug.
“Did I not tell you, Twilight Sparkle, that this one is a gemstone among pebbles.”
“He was… pretty honest,” said Twilight, who was still wriggling her lips while looking at Dry with a completely different expression. “I was a little worried that all he wanted to do was to get me into bed so he could have intercourse with you.”
“I got kissed by you first,” said Dry. “I can’t be dishonest to get you into bed… Well, again, and on your terms, without corrupting our relationship, such as it is.”
Twilight gave a very slow nod. “That’s true.” She stopped and frowned, but Dry Roast picked up before she could say a word.
“Yes, I lied to get into bed with a mare once in college. It ended really badly. I can show you the scar if you want.”
“Yes,” said Luna.
“No!” said Twilight. “I mean… maybe later.”
“Later shall wait.” Dry Roast was a little surprised when Luna gently hustled him out of the room with one wing. “Return to your domicile, you sexy thing. We have much to teach our fellow princess about the contest ahead of her, now that her eggs have begun to quicken.”
“But—” managed Dry before being interrupted by a firm kiss.
“Go,” she said in a voice that he dared not disobey. “We shall be with you shortly, and the game shall proceed at a much more sensible pace.”
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Dry is such a nice guy.
That fund must have enough money for years to come.
Goddammit YellowQuiet.
Can't blame her.
She knows her too well.
Ah. That'd about do it.
Subtle as a flaming thunderbolt iron brick fired out of a cannon while a rock version of the 1812 Overture plays.
WELL.
HOW ARE YOU THIS IN DENIAL?!
Oh boy, Dry Roast you, have some interesting luck.
GOOD.
Gotta feeling at this rate if this dont click over to M-rating soon with M-rated content, someone is gonna do a fan spinoff with said M-content at this rate. Things are getting abit toasty for Mr.Roast.
It just occurred to me yesterday, that when they tap their forehooves together, they are literally "knocking hooves". (As in the expression, "knocking boots".) The first several times that it happened in this story, I thought that Twilight was just, essentially, nervously tapping her "fingers" together. Now, I think that I need to re-read the earlier chapters. This may change entirely what I thought that she was saying.
I thought the crazy would settle down at some point... but nope... still powering on and just as epic.
8718488
Story really should have ended right there.
Looking forward to the Rated R spinoff!
Muh charity!
Between the train coffee incident and this chapter I think RD is going to try to take over this little alicorn contest.
I'm just waiting for the threesome with Dry, Twilight, and Luna. And then the polyamorous relationship. And then Celestia finding out and wanting in. And then when Dry gets sucked dry.
Mark this down as the point Awake Twi actually gets on board this crazy train.
And this is the point Dry derails said train and then kicks them both off.
The lad has made a stand and lays down a very simple rule about respect for him as an individual as opposed to a prize, plaything, target... without having to say anything so blunt. He knows these two are smart enough to get the gist immediately.
8717990
that means I'm either 100% wrong or 100% right
8718551
Are they really? Somehow I doubt it.
I do have to appreciate how even Twilight couldn't delude herself for long when it came time to settle the pool. Her internal narrative has to be at least a little consistent with reality.
Also, Dry demonstrates how communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship, even one that might kill him. Between that and his noninvolvement in resolving the pool, I dare say Twilight sees him as an equine being at this point. Whether or not that's the case, her head's in the game and Luna's now explictly coaching her. I'd say things are getting interesting, but that would imply they were ever in any other state.
8718545 ... and ground and put into the percolator when this story goes dark. Reminds me of a song in Dr. Demento (that I can't *find* darnit) where the singer is talking about smoking weed and managed to roll and smoke his ex-wife's ashes. Had a lyric, "I accidentally smoked my wife last night, yes she gave me a really good buzz..."
Luna sipped her coffee sparingly and looked over at her sister, who had her own cup. "He really was the finest stallion ever to win our hearts, with excellent taste. Rich and smooth, without a touch of bitterness. I only regret that he did not live to see the birth of our children--" she ran a hoof over her swollen belly "--and that our physician hath made us cut back upon our coffee until after their birth."
"True," said Celestia, before gently blowing across the surface of her coffee. "He was the hottest stallion we've ever shared a bed with. Or the breakfast table. Still, if perhaps next time we could entice a tea brewer...?"
And we still don’t know if alicorn s lay eggs or not!
8718545 And with 4 of them, the hydra decides it wants to take part...
Would Dry really use the incorrect grammar "about as good as anypony" rather than "about as well as anypony"?
8718631 Oh, I think I've answered that one pretty well.
8718585 Equine being... Oh, you haven't read the next chapter. My bad. I'll just be over here.
8718551 Not really derailing the train, just pointing out that it takes two (or more) to Tango.
8718535
Three weeks later
"Twilight, are you still angry at me?"
"Of course I'm not angry at you, Rarity. How could I be angry at one of my best friends, ever?"
"Oh, that's good. So... Why are you still outside the bank vault?"
8718585
Again, very much doubt it. Her story is, to belabor the point, a sex farce. Everypony in it is therefore an object.
Aaaaaand now RD has a vested interest...
So, question.... just how big was that pool anyway?
At least he'll die happy.
Dear Luna,
If you are attempting to hide Dry from your sister, failing to lower the moon while you oversleep in his bed is a truly terrible way to go about it.
Sincerely,
A Concerned Citizen
I wonder if RD minds being collateral damage in this shipping war.
Come to think of it, she's now kissed Luna, Twi, and Dry.
8718702
Not to mention the sheer amount of stuff Celestia gets to catch up on. Dry Roast may be the first stallion in recorded history to get three alicorns at once ho- er, hot and bothered.
8718631
*ahem*
and the main character develops a spine, finally! its sad how rare it is to see a character with a spine in fanfics. this story has started to improve.
8718728
but at that rate, dry has kissed luna, twi, and majority of the elements
8718631
*ahem Mk.II*
(sorry for the seperate replies. I'm on my phone at work)
8718652
That only proves that alicorns hatch eggs. We don’t ever actually see her lay the egg, therefore, there’s no proof that she did.
...
I mean, Cadance seemed pretty sure that alicorns don’t lay eggs, and she would know, right?
Right??
I still cannot believe neither Cadance nor Velvet make an appearance yet. (and Celestia, of course)
Somehow, I get the feeling that whoever Dry Roast chooses, BOTH alicorns will end up in the family way!
I bloody love this.
Now that Twilight and Luna have stepped up to the battle line, it's time to throw in the music:
Twilight's into full "rowr" mode now.
Yanno, I'm starting to think Shining Armor only survives because they used artificial insemination. Or maybe he didn't survive and he's a reanimated corpse like the Forsaken.
...Now I'm imagining him having tea with Sylvanas while Luna and Greymane stalk them from the shadows.
Fluttershy's egg-laying fetish is getting out of hand.
After what Fluttershy said, Rainbow is the one with the weird ideas?
Rainbow is scarily interested in death by hoof tapping. Or maybe specifically causing it, I'm not sure.
I'm just going to be a little tribalist here and declare pegasi to be weird.
*whistle*
I can see where this plan is going, and I am interested.
That's even a very admirable charity. I'm sure they do good work.
What a twist!
Hooray for checklists?
Dangit, Dry!
Suddenly, this is a TwiDash story. I think I'm okay with that.
I want to volunteer a joke for the next chapter.
DR talking with someone about the events of the day.
"...and then Twilight defenestrated Rainbow Dash"
RD hearing this says
"Stop exaggerating Dry we didn't do anything that kinky she just kissed me!"
I almost forgot, this story is missing the Programmer's Mentat...
I'll cite it with an MLP twist.
"It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java that the thoughts acquire speed; the hooves acquire shakes; the shakes become a warning.
It is by caffeine alone that I set my mind in motion."
We should be in by late morning, or the noon rush at the earliest.”
I think you meant latest, not earliest.
I fully expect RD to shortly zip off to both Canterlot and the Crystal Empire in hopes of collecting the full set.
8718541
Or she'll be the rebound for whoever loses.
Ok. NOW it's on. I'm just anxiously awaiting to see how far Twi and Luna are willing to go and outdo each other. Than there's Rainbow, who probably might be a dark horse candidate just because of what happened to her this chapter. All I can say is
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLE!!!
8718469
Yeah, but it will be his undoing if it ends in a tie.
Nice knowing you Roast.
Lucky bastard..
8718493
At this rate, it should be already. Then it'll have to go with Equestrian Alliance into my new "Not seen AND not heard" tracking folder.
8718488
Snerk. Especially the first one, with comment, and the comment about the brick.
It is good to see him finally standing up for himself (NOT that way, you pervs).
I don't want this turning into a harem comedy, like certain Chinese novels I've had the misfortune to read, but again, train wreck and watching.
At this rate, everyone else will have to back off, or he's going to end up with ALL of them...
Nice sneaky euphemism with the hoof-tapping. Very clever, indeed. That really DOES change meanings, and they DO seem to use it when discussing... it.
I like that RD has become a naturel part of this story.
all I that is left is for Celestia and one other male character and I think it would be perfect. 
8719107
Your lack of Sapho juice is disturbing.
8719648 Just because they're clopping their forehooves together, people think they're... Nevermind.
8719590 What, like princesses are some sort of alpha carnivores or something?
8719276 He kinda is the dark horse candidate... Never mind.
8718677 Lyra's? Olympic-sized with a hot tub and a jacuzzi. It's good to be the financial manager.
8718959 Now I'm going to have to write a story called "Fluttershy's Egg" where one of her friends finds her building a nest, and then later sitting on a large, yellow egg.
8718813 Keep an eye on Letters for that one.
8718766 One of the great times I had writing Trixie and her Amazing Pet Changeling and Buggy and the Beast, two stories with very strong personalities in conflict.