Snug-Brony
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- PhoKingAzn · 1k words · 37 33 · 2.2k views
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Seriously...
scranton.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw5133-aj-whywouldyoupostthat.png
No Sweetie Belle? Anyways, good story.
This...is the worst fucking Idea in the history of Fimfiction.
Not only have the bronies been disgraced with such an Idea, but we are forced to know a literal story like this exists.
I hope you're happy, the community sure wont be.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gVOhftjx4bg
THERE IS SOMETHING SERIOUSLY WRONG WITH YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I tagged this as mature with sex and even wrote that it is a clopfic in the description, so read at your own risk
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867433
Hopefully this will cheer you up:
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867423
You're... kidding, right?
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867450 no. NO.
This is no clop fic, this is misadventures of a sick mind.
Seriously, you get off by somepony teaching scootaloo to FLY?
That's the dumbest Idea ever, and I've seen clop where a pony beats off to somebody using a FORK TO EAT.
No. this is a PARODY of a clopfic.
867458 this makes me happers.
LOL that was funny
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That is completely disgusting in multiple ways. This is also very inappropriate compared to any other fimfiction that has a lemon scene. By the way lemon scene means sex scene. You have hit the line of this being toddlercon, and that is not acceptable. Do yourself a favor and just delete your account, get up, walk into the police station with a gun, and fire one off into the air. Make everyone happy for once for something you have done.
Parody, trollfic or not, this is utterly revolting.
I hope that you're tormented with deep shame in your later years when you look back on this.
867433
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867466
You're right this actually did start out as a trollfic, but eventually I decided to make it a clopfic and it just didn't work.
I'm sorry for anypony who is offended by this
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867485 that's probably why I thought it as trollfic.
If you admitted it, it is fine. Perhaps try a serious Clopfic?
Just put down it's a troll fic, people will understand better.
I'm not gonna lie. It was weird. And definitely not my thing.
I'm not going to post corrections because you specifically stated that you don't want any, which leads me to believe that you have no desire to improve.
I'm only thumbs downing this story because It's poorly written and you don't want corrections. The content has nothing to do with it.
I like fanfiction. I like when people improve their writing skills. This is basically a stream of consciousness. You aren't going to get any better at writing things unless you let people correct them.
I checked the rest of your stories out. Every one seems rushed and also unedited or proof read. It's okay to write something that's not awesome. It's okay to have room to learn and grow when it comes to writing. I have a ton of things I need to improve with my stuff, but I'll only get better(and only have gotten better) from people correcting my mistakes.
You keep making excuses "I was rushed and just wrote this out." "This was just for fun, it doesn't need to be edited." "Don't take these too seriously."
Please. Just say something like, "I'm still getting the hang of this writing thing and would appreciate any criticism." Just be honest about it, and people will help you get better. Criticism isn't and shouldn't be a personal attack on you, it's an attempt from another human being to help you get better at something. And if someone does post a personal attack? They were going to do that anyways. Just ignore their dumb ass.
Take this whole comment. I'm not writing it to make you feel bad. I'm not writing it to belittle you or your story in order to make me seem more awesome at your detriment. I'm writing it in the hope that you glean just a little information from it, and apply it. I'm writing it so that in the future you'll be better prepared to add something to the pony fandom that I enjoy enjoy reading. I'm doing this for a selfish reason. I want you to be a better writer, so I can read more awesome stuff.
I really hate when people don't want to improve themselves. Sorry about the rant.
Bad clopfic, but I know its a troll fic.
I don't care about reviewing this shit anyway.
867580
Thank you for the feedback. I actually do have a need for improvement after reading some feedback from "Hearts and Hooves Day Ball" and for part 2 of the story I will make sure that it is edited properly. I have a love for writing I'm just weak in the grammar area. I still have yet to find an editor on the internet to help me so all I have is my mom. I think you can understand why I don't want my mom to see that I wrote this that is why it is so poorly edited. I will try my best to make sure my stories are well edited and flow easily and to make sure I don't ramble on which I seem to do a lot.
Thank you again for the feedback!
U mad?
reaction
It was so bad... and I loved every moment of it!
Though it did make me laugh a little bit.
i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/004/128/BRILLIANT_.jpg
...Don't push the watch later button, don't push the watch later button, do-*click*-damn it.
Fucking sicko!
I must commend the butt-hurt you released.
Needs more rape, gore and scat.
Otherwise, decent.
868456
wut
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867433
Are you forgetting the works of the infamous mrhappyface? This is NOTHING compared to those.
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868968 you have brought up that which shall not be named.
You too, shall burn into the fire, or be cast with 10,000 years of pain and suffering. Not my call.
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Since all of the "Positive" feedback I'm going to make a part 2! I'll try my hardest to keep the same charm and not try so hard and end it up not being funny/dark/whatthehelldidIjustread.
If your description starts with the word WARNING, you're gonna have a bad time.
http://www.google.com/imgres?hl=en&biw=1366&bih=643&tbm=isch&tbnid=KaKnPsTp3luVLM:&imgrefurl=http://www.fimfiction.net/story/16314/1/Real-Life-Situations-OR-%27A-more-realistic-approach-on-story-writing%27-OR-%27How-the-ponies-chose-the-Apocalypse-over-my-help%27/Story&docid=ursj-pP3uEuz_M&imgurl=http://th03.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/i/2012/029/4/b/wtf_big_mac_by_annakat101-d4o2apn.png&w=894&h=894&ei=AJX3T7PDE4re0QHXlNnuBg&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=175&vpy=263&dur=6472&hovh=224&hovw=224&tx=140&ty=155&sig=112718704265649438091&page=2&tbnh=134&tbnw=134&start=20&ndsp=26&ved=1t:429,r:13,s:20,i:179
Seriously?
Judging by the amount of butthurt you're causing, I have but five words. Keep up the good work.
All this perennial butthurt your causing makes me happy. Keep it up!
This was stupid, dumb and horribly written.
But I've read worse.
The story, while pacing was balls, is not the worse ive read.
And you really need someone to check your shit.
For the most part, it wasent... BAD. But that's not saying it was good either. Keep trying, maybe someday you will be able to write something...You know, well. Baby steps though, just work on improving.
Better than Prince.
Why does this shit that I didn't even feel like finishing or editing getting so many views and comments. I like my other fics so much better!
[youtube=6a0Eu4bTY-4]
869841
Because people like reading terrible shit.
I have to smirk at all the butthurt and abuse you're getting for writing this. You must be doing something right. I revel in the offensive, which is why I read this stuff in the first place.
As an aside, I think the main premise: "Diamond Tiara's emotional neglect and alienation from her father manifest themselves as a weird sexual fetish," has piqued my interest. I might have to explore something like that more in depth (probably in a less cloppy way, though, but still just as demented).
The fuck did I just read...
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869864
I have already began part 2 which is exploring the idea of her neglect much more deeply and not as much clop scenes more just seeing her mental insanity along with Applebloom, Big Mac, and Applejack.
869016
Heh...heh....MUAHAHAHAHAHA
In the dark places of the Union even Mr. Happyface is tame....
And yes, all of this is VERY (being serious) tame.
871218 NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooo.....
871408
Even the Emperor of Dragons has a weakness........
heh, heh,
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!
871415 MONSTER.
I SHALL CAST YOU INTO THE FIRE.
....nah, I'm too lazy.
871451
I SHALL DESTROY YOU FOR YOUR INSOLENCE XENOS HERETIC!!
*ding*
.....................
Fuck, muffins are done...
..................................................................
*takes off apron*
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