Bordermares

by Regidar

Nine-Hooves

Two bandits stood in the old cave tunnel.

"You ever wonder how we work these guns?"

"Huh?"

"I mean, we're not unicorns... and we don't have fingers. So obviously, that would make it impossible for us to shoot these guns."

"Yeah... you're right!"

"Well, screw this! I'm going to go and do something with my life! I'll-" The bandit's head exploded in a shower of blood and brain matter. The other bandit screamed a very manly scream, and soiled himself before multiple bullets ended his pathetic life.

Rainbow Dash, Big Macintosh, and Twilight Sparkle rushed down the tunnel. They had already fought their way through Skag Gully, and were now on their way to rescue Fluttershy. The bandits hadn't be here long, but had already constructed some makeshift bridges that spanned the large gaps formed by nature. Another bandit, this one who had somehow thought it was a good idea to light himself on fire, rushed the group.

As one might guess, it is very hard to navigate while one is on fire, and the unlucky bandit plunged off the side. The group proceeded across the "bridge" and into a small shack. Two very pissed-off looking bandits aimed their pistols at the three.

"Heh. You pussies are going to-" Rainbow Dash punched the closest bandit in the face. The bandit fell back, blinked, then started to cry.

The other bandit look at Rainbow Dash in disappointment. "Well, look. Now you've gone and made him cry. Good going."

Rainbow Dash gave the bandits looks of complete bewilderment. She turned to Twilight for support.

"To be fair, you did make him cry."

"Eeyup."

Rainbow Dash groaned, rolled her eyes, and shot both of the bandits.

"Come on. Fluttershy's in trouble! We have to hurry!"

As they approached the lift that would take them to Nine-Hooves hideout, a small, almost foal like bandit charged them, shotgun swinging wildly. Big Macintosh kicked it over the side, where it plunged to its death. The three wasteland marauders went up the lift, and reached the rust iron door that signified the entrance to Nine-Hooves inner sanctem.

"Ready?" Rainbow Dash asked Twilight and Big Mac. Both nodded assent.

***

Fluttershy was still tied up in Nine-Hooves's lair. The unsavory stallion looked at a toaster, chuckled and announced "Time's up, Flutters!" The cantankerous bandit grabbed the tied up Bordermare, and brought her close.

"It's been a while since I've had a real mare..."

Fliuttershy squeaked, and closed her eyes as she felt the stallion grab her flank. Then, something she least expected happened.

She fell through the ropes. Looking around, she saw that she was also out of the stallions grasp. Nine-hooves looked around in confusion. Looking down, she saw that she could see right through her hooves, and indeed, her whole body.

Fluttershy was normally calm and non-violent, but she normally dropped her principles on potential rapists. She charged Nine-Hooves, and gave him a bitch slap so hard he flew across the room.

Rainbow Dash opened the door, only to be immediately smashed by a flying stallion. The two lay in a heap on the ground, and Big Mac was just about to kill the bandit when a large skag jumped him. Twilight Sparkle shot the creature in the back, forcing it off Big Mac, only to have herself be attacked by another one of the crazy animals.

Rainbow Dash was dazed temporally, but when she noticed that the stallion was licking her face, she shoved him off of her, and got ready to load her gun into his plot, only to find out that her prized possession was broken.

"Hah! Not so tough without your little gun, are ya-" Rainbow Dash smacked the stallion in the face with the gun, and proceeded to beat the bandit leader viciously with it. Twilight kept galloping backwards, shooting at the skag which was trying to devour her whole. Big Macintosh looked around for Fluttershy.

Twilight Sparkle was just about to be eaten by both the skags, when suddenly, they became very calm. Instead of eating her, they licked her, getting her soaked in skag saliva.

Fluttershy slowly phased back into reality, blushing slightly. Big Macintosh and Twilight hugged her, while Rainbow Dash continued to beat the shit out of Nine-Hooves, until her gun was permanently smashed into the bandit's face. Then, she stomped on his head, killing him.

"I'm taking this." Rainbow Dash grabbed the pistol that Nine-Hooves had never gotten to use against the group. Shooting it a couple of times, she deduced that it was an incendiary weapon.

"Never really liked pistols, but I guess this will do for now."

"Fluttershy, how'd you escape?" Twilight asked the yellow mare.

"Oh, I don't know! One minute he was... trying to force himself on me..." The pegasus blushed "Then, I became invisible, and I punched him across the room!"

"Hmm..." Twilight pulled a book out from her saddlebag. "I think you may be an inheritor... I'm not sure though. I'll have to do some more research."

Rainbow Dash's saddlebag was nearly overflowing with ammo, guns, and cash she had taken from the stallion's hideout. "Well, let's get going! I'm tired of hanging out here, anyway."

"Wait," Fluttershy cried, and pointed to the skags, who looked at the group longingly.

"No, we're not taking skags with us."

"But..." Fluttershy's eyes became teary. "Clop and Trot don't want to be left here alone!"

"Clop and Trot. Great. You've given them names."

"Actually, no, those are the names that Nine-Hooves gave them."

Rainbow Dash facehoofed. "Whatever. You can take them. But we're ditching them in Fyrestone, okay?"

Fluttershy nodded eagerly, and the Bordermares left the cave.

As they passed through Skag Gully, a lone bandit stood upon the cliff side, observing them.

"So... they took down Nine-Hooves... Nice work, but Golden Heart will be much more of a challenge then that wimp."

Comments

[Herpidty Derp]

I so missed this fic! Glad it has been updated!!

[reader of the night]

This was just... fucking hilarious. I don't swear a lot and if i do it i mean it.... ahh who am i kidding i swear like a sailor and i fucking like this story.

[meowcatz]

"Big Macintosh and Twilight hugged her, while Rainbow Dash continued to beat the shit out of Nine-Hooves," you would, rainbow dash XD

[The Amazing Horse Man]

I dun know why, but I think that Regi here is kind of using the way Roland is used on multiplayer. Most of the little ragers use him. Mind telling me if it's true R?

[Regidar]

2031851 Maybe...

[The Amazing Horse Man]

2031861
I'll take that as a yes

[II TrailBlazer II]

Border mares? Will need to read later! Does it have many diffrent weapon manufactuers? Needs to.

[Mono the Cat]

Golden Heart? Is that Bone Head or Sledge?

[GoldFishPony]

I'm curious. What level are they supposed to be? And why is the violence realistic, instead of the rock-like invincibility they normally have, where they don't bleed or show injuries other than death?

[Regidar]

2574788 Story is sadly on an indefinite hiatus, I may never continue it.

[Blaze Spectrum]

Why is Twilight a psycho in the cover art?

[Regidar]

2636962 why not?

[Blaze Spectrum]

2637787

It just doesn't really tie with the story. Because Twilight's not a psycho in it.

On the other hand, by itself, it kind of really makes sense because Twilight is shown to be pretty mentally unstable and it would be perfect on it's own.

[Regidar]

2641466 Also, it's the only cool coverart I could find at the time.

[_Reader_]

For a story that is simply a re-tell of the game with ponies except given a bit more life, it wasn't bad. I'm interested on who you had planned for the character roles.
-Reader Out-

[Regidar]

4297916 Eh, it was shitty retelling. I hadn't even played borderlands, this was all based on my friend's narration.

plus that bad alicorn oc my online "friend" made me put in...

erk.

[Dustchu]

2574815 Fuck.
Oh well, twas an awesome story while it lasted :D

Nice job! PSYCHO RAINBOW!
Keep on being awesome brosef.