In the year 2148, Earth Ponies discovered they were not alone in the universe.
Discovering an ancient cache of technology belonging to an extinct race identified only as the Alicorn, the Earth Ponies soared to new heights of technological advancement. With their newfound strength, they searched the galaxy for more hidden treasures of the Alicorn empire, soon discovering the existence of other space-faring races that shared their lust for progress and knowledge.
But when their fevered searching unearths ghosts that were better left buried, and mysteries better left unsolved, the Equestrian Galaxy is besieged by an ancient foe bent on nothing than the total destruction of life. Only one group of friends, led by a single Earth Pony soldier, can stop the coming darkness, all the while trying to answer the great question at the center of it all; what happened to the Alicorn Civilization and the Equestria that was?
I fail understand why this would get a dislike.
To make up for it I shall give you a thumbs up.
Its a nice story, keep up the good work!
Awaiting for more epicness :D
brace yourself universe, the shepard has arrived.
the narrative style is good, the story promising, you bet i got this watched.
The greatest amount of win I have seen in a while
Seems to have turned out pretty well. Keep it up, I'll keep editing.
Great prologue
Very long to
I find it funny that everyone finds the prologue to be an enjoyable read, when my editors would constantly bemoan it for its narrative structure. I myself could only self edit it a few times before seeing it only as a six thousand word wall of text with little to no dialogue. It was an experiment really, to see what I could do with a chapter completely of internal monologue, and I guess it worked. The chapters that follow are more balanced in their structure, and once my grammar editor gets back from the hole he lives in, expect chapter one to be released by Friday around noon.
Happy reading!
Hey, I liked your prologue (editor here). And I don't live in a hole... I just work... alot. I'm getting on it tonight.
Just wanted to say, if this chapter is any indication, this story of yours is to be next biggest thing of FiM fanfiction. I saw this under the "Recently Updated" column on the main page, and I thought "Hmm... never seen a ME/FiM crossover... better check it out." By the end of this chapter, I can safely say that you have my full support and encouargement. Starting with the unseen trial in ME 3 and then giving an actual backstory to Shepard (rather than some side missions later on)... you got me hooked at this strory's start. All chapters thus far have been enjoyable and captivating to read.
Positive Criticism: Character analogues are both different and familiar at the same time; more importantly, they all fit and seem legitimate. As for the personalities, I personally approve of Shepard being a little less serious all the time. Also, I'm really diggin' and different name for the Council's go-to individuals. However, the Sleipnir (Special Logistics Enforcement Infiltration Protectorate and Naval Intelligence Reconnaissance, really?)... that is a serious mouthful, and I'm having trouble memorizing that, meanie.
Negative Criticism: First, characters that are in the show. Pipsqueak is obviously Joker, and the Earth Pony on Equestria Prime (got a good chuckle out of that name, do like) that represented Ashley... calling it right now, that's Applejack.
That raised a question, though. How many of the show's cast is actually going to be in this fic? I don't mind all of the Mane 6 appear at some point as major characters (Twilight as Liara
and Rainbow as Garrus
perhaps? Nimbus is a mare, so I'm sure it's possible.) I do like Captain Quartermane and Doctor Chalkdust (another good name), but I do recommend being careful with the analogue/OC ratio so that it doesn't seem too lopsided one way or the other. Second point of concern: What about the Salarians? Pegasi=Turians, and Unicorns=Asari... are the Salarians cut out because there are only three pony races to choose from, or did I miss something? (I'm not counting Alicorns, you covered that quite well.)
Everything else... well-written and all that cop-out praise (that you really deserve, this is one of the best fanfics that I've ever read in my life.) Also, why is there no Jenkins? Everyone loves Jenkins!
At least he doesn't have to die. Keep up the good work!
Edit: Sorry if I came across as a know-it-all. I hardly ever give criticism, and I'm still not sure what is acceptable and what isn't. Please tell me if I said anything unreasonable.
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I wouldn't say you are a know it all, just a very thorough reader. I can't easily respond to all your questions without spoiling much, but i'll try
First the Sleipnir thing is just one of the many times I have fun with acronyms, I doubt i'll be using the full version again just to save me the wrist strain.
Second, about the character references. This is a bit of a deeper experiment for me, and I'm not fully certain where it will go yet. Short answer: All I can say is keep reading and you will find out.
Third: in regards to salarians, ect ect... There are a lot more than ponies that live on equestria, many of them sentient.
Fourth: The Jenkins stand-in isn't there because I, as a writer, do not like the 'Red Shirt" trope, and chose not to use it.
Depending on my editors schedule's, expect updates around noon on every second Friday starting today. The chapters are getting longer...
1. Thanks.
2. Thanks.
3. How did I forget that?
4. I don't know what the "Red Shirt" trope is (or a trope at all, for that matter), but I think I can figure it out...
As for the update schedule, I now have something to look forward to every other Friday! Also, there may be "quality over quantity," but I say: "Why not have both?"
For example, the chapters in Sweetie's Mansion keep getting progressively longer and better every time. Trust your instincts (purposely quoting James McCloud there) on all this. If this chapter is any indication, what you've been doing has worked fantastically. No pressure.
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http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RedShirt
Enjoy it. It will ruin your life.
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My mom has told me at least ten different times about the "guy with a red shirt in Star Trek always ends up dying" thing and I never made that connection. When I followed that link, I facepalmed myself so hard that Twilight would've been envious.
At least I know what TV Tropes is now. Thanks (no sarcasm).
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Give it time...
I'm not much of a Mass Effect fan but you seem to be spinning an intriguing yarn. Do continue, please.
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Excellent, new chapter!
Sergeant Major Southern "South" Belle, huh? Talks like Applejack, has the attitude of Ashley... and it fits perfectly. Kinda hoped Nimbus wouldn't get killed, but I guess the plot would've taken a big hit if she survived.
Great job on the description of the Get- I mean Geld. You also managed to make the Husks look terrifying, something the games failed to do for me.
Can't wait for the Council to tell Shepard to GTFO. That still stands as one of the more entertaining sequences in the entire series for me. Great chapter all around!
Ohhhhhhhh Goosebumps.
I wrote my own ME/FiM fic, complete with a Choose your Own Adventure vibe. But if this is any indication, then your work here will far out stripe mine.
Keep it up. And if Twilight ends up being our 'Quarian' then let the shipping commence!
907646 Just gonna swoop in and quickly say South and Sweetie: No relation
Other than that, thank you for your comments, they keep me going.
907760 Thank you for the kind words! Every bit helps my fragile ego push through to get another chapter done. What i really need to work on now is find a better update time than fridays at noon or else my update posts will keep vanishing in twenty minutes.
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The lack of a relationship shows how you can make characters in your story sound like the characters we all know and love while keeping them completely different at the same time. I'm actually glad my prediction from the last chapter about Applejack was wrong. Now I have more interesting characters to look forward to.
Just a heads up to my readers, I will be pushing my update schedule from every second Friday to every second Saturday to try out a different update period in an effort to get a bit more notice. I may toss it around a bit to find the best time of high traffic views for an update post, and I am open to any suggestions that any could offer.
It will also give my editors more breathing room to finish the next chapter.
Sorry for the inconvienience.
Happy Reading!
-Quillery
I gotta admit, I am intrigued! I found this story from Loyal2Luna's blog and at first I was cautious to read it. But, considering that I had almost finished all of the stories in my 'favorites that I haven't read yet' it was decided that I should read this. And, I am impressed! Now, I have only completed Chapter 2 (I have to try and get a few hours of sleep before leaving to go on a 10 hour drive back home) I honestly can't wait to read more! I love how you took Mass Effect and ... well, you made it literally something new and I really love it. (Almost makes me want to re-try a cross over between MLP and Durarara!!)
This story also got me to, break boundaries! Normally I don't read 'epic' stories until they are complete... but... I couldn't wait to dive right in! Seriously, great job on making it your own, can't wait to continue reading when I get back home!
So two Pegasi, Unicorns, and Earth Ponies were recognized by a white Alicorn with various colors in her mane, huh? I wonder who these seven are.
Wait a minute!
Loved the description of the relic vision. The game version made so little sense to me (I got the point, but it seemed kind of rushed.) Another great chapter, but I have two questions. Is Pipsqueak's voice like Joker, or his TV counterpart? If it was stated earlier I didn't catch it. Also, why are there four races in that vision sequence? The Protheans dominated their cycle, Javik even says so. I hate that you're making us wait for these answers, because this fic just keeps getting better and better.
This is brilliant. I like the different interpretation of Shepard. To me he feels like the way I interacted with the world my first playthrough of the game. I'm a die-hard fan of Mass Effect and I love the way you've reshaped this universe. It feels familiar but fresh at the same time. I cant wait for more. I'm excited to see Garrus (whatever you may name him) for Garrus is best Turian.dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png
Oh, and nothing you say or do will keep me from reading all of Pip's lines in my head as Seth Green lol.
img-cache.cdn.gaiaonline.com/b5d2bd4f3d2662fae5d608f483a148d4/http://i1083.photobucket.com/albums/j398/WanderTones/SmackJeeves%20Forum%20Avatar%20Emporium/My%20Little%20Pony/Pinkie%20Pie/PinkiePiePopcorn.gif
*om-nom-nom*
*digs into story*
Certainly a more original take on the Mass Effect/MLP crossover than my own.
(Mine started out as an almost pure cut and paste in the beginning.) I'll be bookmarking this to read later.
I should be finishing my Summer Reading, but here I am reading this gem...
I thank you for subtly addressing those awful elevator rides. Easily one of the worst parts of the game.
I didn't think you could make me dislike the ambassador more than I do. At least Udina was willing to only hate on the Council. This guy needs a good thrashing.
South's going to have a heart attack when she has to team up with Firestorm (excellent name, by the way).
Another great chapter and that, but I do have a question. Is that stupid Paragon/Renegade going to play any part in this story? I always hated the "My diplomacy skills aren't good enough because I didn't spec my points right! Oh well, better get my gun ready!" aspect in ME.
Also, how'd that submission go? Do the pre-readers take time to get to every story?
Okay, so:
Earth ponies = humans
pegasi = Turians
unicorns = Asari
alicorns = Protheans
diamond dogs = ??
moles = Hanar/Volus combos?
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I cant say the moles are as clear cut as that, but it is a close assumption. The moles were the only race I planned to just make up for the sake of the story. People have told me that diamond dogs should end up standing in for Volus, but I have a far more interesting idea for them, so stay tuned! If you wanted to go race to race as stand ins, the sea-ponies are technically the Hanar, but they wont be as culturally weird.
Inb4 Transcendant Sea-Pony Lyra Fangasms
At least partners are actually useful here. I could have very easily one-man-armied ME1 if I tried. Shepard not being the super badass that he is in ME is actually a nice change, at least for me. I always did enjoy soldier protagonists that aren't necessarily the best ones for their own job. That leaves more space for squadmate development and input. Very nice. The small references to the more recognized lines in the show really are well done, especially since this story is more of a novel. Funny lines are often hard to implement into a story without being cheesy (in my opinion), and you can write 10k-ish chapters of consistent quality without getting bogged down in, well, anything. Onto the actual story...
Hopefully South will get over her Pegasi prejudice thanks to Firestorm. Ashley never really got over that, which was a shame since it killed most of her likability. Got a good laugh out of the "Dear Shadow King" part. Time to speculate on what she would have said!
I do have to ask though: why is Shepard getting so many female squadmates? There's South, Firestorm, and the Countess (possibly). I'm not sexist at all, but I can't imagine what Shepard is going to do if one them starts hitting on him. Also, is there any kind of artwork for these characters? Getting a mental image of characters without seeing them, regardless of the quality of the description, has always been a weak point of mine. For example, I see the Countess as Rarity with a different color, fancy clothes, and gemstones. Is that accurate at all?
1157292 Who said Shepard was a him?
Firestorm is the only intended gender swap, for reasons I cant explain due to spoilers. (Plus the thought of a female Wrex would keep me up at night)
I would love it if when my story got big that a few artists would toss some fanart at me, but if the story keeps evolving, I may commission a few peices just because. Your assumption of how the countess is more or less right, though it wasn't exactly planned that way. For those expecting her to be Tali or Liara, however, she will not be. They will come along much later in the story, to ensure there is proper character pacing. Trying to characterize 5+ key characters before act one is finished would be a nightmare.
I'm hoping that its starting to show that I'm slowly but steadily breaking away from the established plot of Mass Effect and doing my own thing. There will still be a few similar scenes while they are still on the Citadel/Corral, but will swiftly break away at the beginning of Act 2. Blurgh
Have you thought about putting this on FF or submitting to EQD? There are about a dozen MExMLP crosses between the two, none of them as good as this. Equestrian DLC, which is also FiMFiction-exclusive, is the only one I could see competing.
*sigh* This story is not as popular as I think it should be, and that makes me sad.
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Its nice to see that someone else shares my pain. I am working towards getting onto EQD, which will involve some revisions of my narrative structure for the prologue and preface. I'll be working with the Ponychan Writers Training Grounds to get it up to the standards that EQD demands and see what happens.
I assume that FF means Fanfiction.net. I forgot about that site when I was looking to get this story posted, maybe I will try there too just to broaden my readership.
Should be "The other goons"
And now for more species comparisons!
I thought that'd be griffons. Guess they'll be vorcha, then
Wait, no! D-dogs are Elcor! But zebras are definitely quarian or salarian. Probably
Manticores are... Krogan?
I'm thinking either zebras or d-dogs will be quarians, and the other will be salarian -
No, wait, buffalo are quarian, zebra are salarian
And timberwolves are varren
K, how wrong am I?
I kinda wish that you had introduced the character that would have introduced Wrex but its still a good story nonetheless
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Fixt
Manticores as Krogans was one of my very first thoughts when I was brainstorming this story. I considered Minotaurs for a bit after the Iron Will episode, but I still felt that Manticores fit better. If people are wondering why they are sentient or described as not being that much larger than a pony ( its there), or why any other race is different for any other reason other than "word of god", just remember that fifty thousand years is a long time for a species to evolve and change. There are other reasons too and other races to see still, but you will have to wait.
I'm such a tease aren't I?
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D-dogs have got to be Batarian, what with the unicorn stealing. Buffalo would make good Elcor, what with their size and "My father's father...." Quarians must be zebras, because Geld are pony-shaped. I guess sea ponies are Elcor.... There's no guaranty of one-to-one races though.
Discussion between readers! Happy Happy, Joy Joy!
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Also I just noticed that you are the editor for FOE: Heroes.
Just want to say, you are MY hero.
So glad that you are a fan of mine.
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Holy shit, I've never been recognized before.
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Thanks all the down. I also appreciate that you respond to comments so consistently. I haven't seen any other writer do that (if any other writers can disprove this, please don't hurt me.)
Reading though the comments, I have to agree with theBSdude that this story doesn't have enough views. That makes me sad as well. Also, (and this is going off-topic) would you recommend Fallout: Equestria? I know its, like, a billion pages long or something, and I have 70 stories or so that I need to read/catch up on. Plus, everyone seems to love Fo:E. I find that odd, since its not on FIMFiction.net.
... Sorry, rambling over.
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The original FoE is the main inspiration for me writing this. It saddened me that a story like it did not exist for Mass Effect, so that's why I am here doing this.
I started tentatively into it at first, but before long I was hooked and couldn't stop. (Chapter 36 Oh god Chapter 36)
Kkat is a huge inspiration for all writers, and I am no exception. I can only pray that as my writing improves I can create a tale with Mass Effect that is half as good as hers.
Project Horizons and Heroes are the spinoffs that have made it to EQD with their own headlines, and they both deserve it. I haven't read Horizons yet because I'm waiting for it to be finished, but I got sucked into Heroes and I cant stop.
I highly recommend the Original, just not during school hours. Once you get sucked in, you will never know a good nights rest again. You have been warned.
While I hope this doesn't make me sound conceited or vain, I feel it should be as least mentioned...
For those that have shown a liking for the story, and wish to see it gain popularity, you do have the power to help. I would like to label this as an open invitation or request for help to spread the word, if you truly think it deserves it. Mention it to your friends or groups and such, if you want. I won't hold it against you if acting as advertisements isn't your thing, but some of my greatest reader spikes have come solely from word of mouth. I would be eternally grateful to anypony who would find Mane Effect worth spreading around, but I'm content on making it work on its own merits if that's the way fate should spin. There is still EQD and Fanfiction.net, so I will see where those can take me.
I feel like a pompous bastard for writing this, but if I didn't think my work was at least marginally worth it, I wouldn't be doing it.
Lots of thanks and Happy Reading,
-Quillery
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Thanks, I'll look into it. I had to dig for five minutes to find it on EqD (45 chapters? SERIOUSLY?), and when I complete it, whenever that is, maybe I'll get into a side story or two. My thanks in advance for the recommendation.
As for a little shameless promotion
of Mane Effect, I'll put something about it in other fics if it seems appropriate. I might have done this earlier, but Youtube commenters kinda left me with a bad impression. Well, time to get reading...
Only at chapter 3 but damn I am loving this. +1'd and tracked. looking forward to more.
I'll provide critical feedback if I find something to be critical about.
In the meantime, have a picture.
derpy.ponychan.net/chan/files/src/134454618291.gif
YIPE! How did I miss TWO consecutive posts on this one?! Okay, Gotta read this now! RIGHT NOW!
fc06.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/103/c/8/pinkie_pie___they_wrote_what____animated_by_goblinengineer-d4vwca5.gif
Wow, has it been that long since I started. Been up and down all day reading this bit by bit.
OKAY, thoughts.
Love how much depth Shepard is getting, and that you're showing him taking some renegade points. The new species also intrigue me and are definately not what I saw coming... the Volus/Hanar/Mole composition character I thought was spot on, although for some reason I kept hearing the voice of Mr. Mole from 'Wind in the Willows' (The clayamation version)
Ahhh Firestorm, I know you're a colt and I know who you're part of, but I can't help but hear a certain rainbowmaned pegasus when I read your lines.
Yeah, I don't blame shepard at all, I probably spent more time talking to characters and getting every possible codex page than I did fighting in ME1. I hope he has time to ping the V.I. later to geek out over.
SEA-PONY!!! 
I can't 'wait' to see what the stand in is for the Salarian and Krogans.
Ooooohhh Dragons would make great Krogan.
Okay, need to focus... another chapter... ONWARD!
We do what we can, but don't stop Quillery. This is worth so many more likes and favorites than it has so far... we need to work on that.
Hmmm, not much I can say that wasn't said in the first comment for this chapter. The biggest asset that the story has is that Shepard is shown as having 'potential' to be great, but is not already the legendary icon that his 'namesake' was even before the beginning of Mass Effect.
Oh, and fun with hacking... If only the hacking available in the game could be so... accurate. *would love to troll baddies hiding behind turrets like that*
Liking the development with Firestorm and the change-ups from ME Canon, makes it feel more like it's own thing than the boring 'copy-paste' fics that just replace 'human' with 'pony'.
And so the legend begins...
You can fight like a dragon...
Run like a Leopard...
but you'll NEVER be better than Commander Shepard.
And the face to face with Artimis and the Council is the one thing I did always want to see, to have them face to face with his betrayal. Smug jerk... her deserves everything that's coming to him.