Last Laugh

by Ice Star

Such a Heartwarming Reunion

I'm laughing right now, Celestia. A long, long time ago some silly pink maned filly told me it was rude to laugh at my friends, but I don't see how that's important. My friend is a memory now. I'm not laughing at my friends, I'm laughing at the most somber-looking and uptight being, along with her miserable shadow, holding a few petty trinkets and thinking that they can stand up to everything I am as if you two are gods in the same right as I am.

These two mares aren't my friends.

My friends were two cheerful little fillies: Tia the wise, and her little sister, Luna the eccentric. I doubt you'd know them, you the white giantess and the taller-than-mortals inky splotch. Both were two little Alicorn — yes that's what their species was called — fillies who wandered the world in search of their parents. I never called her Tia to her face, but I only thought of her as such. That name is as good as her smile was, and as quick to say as she was eager for friends.

They were awfully persistent, too, those little fillies. Had they been in the pursuit of something I found amusing it would have—

Fine, you got me: I respected them. They were my friends, after all, the second-and-longest family I ever had. The one that was interesting enough to stick around, at least for a while.

They kept their promises, unlike me. The mares I see before I do not have the same promises in their eyes.

No matter how many times I swore to be their companion, their friend on that silly quest of theirs I was more concerned with where my own magic would lead me, and what fun I could have on my own. Eventually, all I could think about was everything I could learn if I just gave up, shrugged off what company would try to cling to me, and turned away towards wherever my whims lead me and stay wherever I felt like roaming for as long as
I wasn't bored.

My magic was so different from theirs, these Alicorns, and both of our kinds' magic is leagues above and beyond the silly sparkles and weakness of these tiny, fragile ponies you two seek to collect under your wings so eagerly. My magic was hungry, it called, steered, and begged to fly as those two little fillies could.

I was so different from them. Magic doesn't let you forget that and neither would I in all the time we had spent together.

There was just so much to see and their quest was just so hopeless to me, and there's nothing quite like hopelessness to get a creature down in the doldrums. Why did they insist on finding someone they barely remembered? If I gave up on useless grown-ups, why couldn't they? After I left I barely paid mind to try to and remember them in the way my two ex-friends probably remembered me. I was learning magic on my own and living the life of a wanderer who did only what came to mind and had nobody else to care for. I could be distracted by whatever I pleased. Eventually, I became so good at my magic that I believed it was finally time to do something with it.

I wanted to show off. After roaming aimlessly around the south and across the seas for so long it was time to make a grand entrance: as the one and only Master of Chaos. I am the simultaneous swan song and reboot of my kind. Let it be known that I am a draconequus of many abilities, in fact, I am now the draconequus!

I didn't have much of an idea where to go. I remember old Tia saying something about the land where she lived with her sister... the Foreverfree, was it?

She said all sorts of creatures once lived there, and she made them sound like those creatures could be like me. I don't remember the places or the map you had very well — but 'Forever Free' sounds like a very lucky place for someone like myself, whose magic is as free and unbound as that name suggests.

And little old Tia was right, it seems. There were ponies everywhere! Silly little creatures who operated like clockwork until you spiced up their small lives with a few things that still managed to add up to nothing at all. Oh, and how sad your pitiful creatures were, who spoke in whispers about two great creatures unlike any they had seen before living in a wild forest who mourned alongside them now that their triangle-archy of 'Equestria' was dead. These silly, lost, and all-too-predictable ponies cried over some silly mortal, a mare called Platinum and five other dead-as-doornails heroes that had passed before her.

It was all so incredibly dull.

Chaos. Conflict. Luck. Anarchy. Some madness here and there. Now those are the ingredients to real life, the kind that these poor little ponies would never lead.

Oh, and of course almost anything random will do, but you see there's a bit of an art to it... organized chaos! How could I forget that keystone? Making those oxymorons come true and twisting everything was so tempting, and why should I refuse myself what my impulses tell me? Why would I, when they call for fun and gaiety? Impulse just begs to be acted upon! Instead of giving the silly subjects of deader-than-dirt windbags no choices to brighten the mundane lives of my toys, I found it quite kind to give them all the choices they could possibly imagine and many more they couldn't... all at once!

And then the ones who called themselves Princesses — that's you and your shadow, by the way — tried to fight me. Me! The Lawlessness of the land, the grand new God of Chaos, older than you both and so much more fun! Oh, how your silly little war has become so grim and unneeded! You lost, of course, and I let you get away because there was fun to be had. It would be so funny to see what you would do next. How exactly would you gain your second loss?

You, O Pale Mare, retreated to your forest with your lost and lonely little shadow close behind you. Why would it not follow?

I heard about that forest which was in fact called the Everfree. Now, if you ask me it sounds too much like Never Free — which you, Celestia and whatever wisp that sister of yours has been reduced to have become.

Yes, I know you are — were — the same ponies. Alicorns. Does it really matter? Well not to me, you all look so much alike — now, you all even act alike. Isn't that just so wrong?

Well, almost all of you.

I heard how you, Celestia blew the very castle you had called home all those years ago to nothing. The word among the ponies who dare dwell close to the plains — ick, what a terrible name — surrounding your forest is that you scooped rock from the surrounding ground. And why? It was all to build a new one as you stamped out every trace of the old place you used to go on and on about in our days together. Your new dwelling was covered in monsters carved from stone and for what reason? To assure visitors that the gloating white mare who sat on the throne was at least nice looking on the outside. Is it true that dust from the burning of that old place covered the skies for days afterward?

Why would you destroy your home? I remember how much you said you loved that place, how much you longed to return.

I know all these cold ponies came from the north. I knew you two were heading there when I last saw you — before I left.

What happened?

What is it that resides there and how did it alter you so? Luna was quiet, but now she is mute and barely visible where she used to be exuberant and adventurous. You loved your sister; you lived only for her at times. I knew you; so how could this happen? I knew Luna almost as much as you did. It was almost like she was my little sister too since I helped you take care of her so much.

Then we have you... you were always a bit vain and bossy, but never like the mare before I could be. Oh, and don't even get me started on how clingy you were at times, never wanting anypony — least of all, Luna — out of your sight. It was quite the silly contrast to the perfect and powerful princess act you would put on.

I know you found the letter I wrote, but I know nothing of what happened after. I'm not even sure I want to.

However, one thing remains true in all this strife...

We grew up.

You grew into my enemies — I'll have you know that I'm no hero, but I am not any of the villains that you two have become.

I did love you once, Celestia.

Or at least I loved the smart, well-spoken, and kind Alicorn who hardly thought of herself without giving all that she was away, and was even more dedicated to raising her sister than her absent parents could ever be.

As I mentioned before, you lived only for Luna.

Perhaps that is why you snapped.

But Celestia, don't you see me up on this throne? What can you and your shadow possibly do with a few shiny stones against a creature like me?

I'm still laughing.

Author's Note:

I'm Dislestia trash. I also wanted to practise writing Discord some more.

[Revised for printing on 8/30/2020.]

Comments

[Unimpressive Chaos Lord]

Alright, this was actually pretty good!
I really enjoyed Discord´s inner monologue; I can definetly picture Discord thinking this way. He´s cruel, condescending and arrogant, but he still retains enough humanity for us to take pity on him. I also like how disjointed the text is while still remaining coherent enough for the reader to follow. Perhaps it was a mistake and not intentional, but either way I enjoyed it.

I also like how little exposition there is, or, more appropriately, how superficial it is. We just learn the basics and that´s really what you need to know.

Also, I loved the ending. Those last lines held a palpable weight; they did leave an impact on me.

So, all in all, I think this fanfic is quite good! Not great, excellent or outstanding, but it was an interesting read. For a mere experiment in writing Discord, I consider you succeeded.

[Ice Star]

7231323
Thank you, if you want to learn more about Discord, he does appear in my a few of other stories. I'm glad you enjoyed this so much!

[Unimpressive Chaos Lord]

7231544
I have a weekend ahead of me; maybe I´ll give them a read.

[Fluffy-Chaos]

7231323 HAA haa Haaa HAAA haaa haa, haa harrr harr.. Humanity.......

My dear, that is a stupendous joke right if there ever was one contained in a single word...... ^^

[Unimpressive Chaos Lord]

7234967
I can´t tell if you´re being sarcastic or not...

[Fluffy-Chaos]

7235028 Neither really.... or maybe both since using the word on a non human being is kind of interesting but understandable since it's still fiction and your are just writing about it and I was more trying to be in the spirit of Discord when replying which is why I added a "Dear".....^^

As well as ever since I can remember I have found certain words to be just humorous in a...... well, a kind of retarded way because the words are kind of asinine. But since you seem to desire some clarification here it is.

One is for example that will shed some light with context on the whole is the word "Inhumane", which I find to be a somewhat retarded word since it's practically only describes what we HUMANS do and not what we have observed in other species and is very rare in human behaviour, ergo it's actually all just very humane behaviour in reality. And that which we find humane to describe are actually behaviours we find in most species in one way or another, at least those with higher cognitive function.
I know the etymology and the historical context but as time passes and knowledge is gained so does language in many areas except when it seems to come to our ego where words like "Humanity" or as it's used while not applying it to someone or something "Humane" is just putting very select behaviours that are more desired than the absolute norm.

It's understandable that certain words have existed and why they came to be and having a word that tries to easily shame people away from certain behaviour by basically calling them less of a human is a easy trick while vice versa for doing something that would be deemed positive to the social group and/or society. But that is the past which well..... in the past.

Which is why I find the word to be a joke in of itself by trying to pedestalize compassion for example as some human nowadays.

Let's be honest and say that dogs are WAAAAAAAAYYYY more compassionate than humans are so I will from now on call it Dognanity......^^

[QueenMoriarty]

Decent.

[MixMassBasher]

This is fascinating. I like how you show Discord's thoughts. He knows he's in the wrong but he also sees how the the ponies he called friends became better and worse. Celestia basking in praise after raising her sister all by her lonesome. And her shadow of a sister that was left behind.

[Ice Star]

10071180
Thank you! It’s really hard to get Discord right, and he still remains one of the characters I have a harder time writing. Hearing an early, simpler work like this was good is always nice.

[Gay For Gadot]

Your Discord stories are such a treat. You capture that inner voice of his well, understanding that his love of chaos is about more than just cotton-candy clouds and other silly shenanigans. The backstory you have for Celly and Luna in your universe ties well in with Discord's characterization; there's so much regret and sorrow dripping here beneath his snark and disdain. As a fellow piece of DisLestia (especially before-Nightmare-Moon-DisLestia) shipping trash, your works in this vein are always great reads.

[Ice Star]

10646527

You capture that inner voice of his well, understanding that his love of chaos is about more than just cotton-candy clouds and other silly shenanigans.

His voice is actually one of the hardest, and I always am worried that I don't write him well enough. It's why I wrote so little about him for the longest time, only bothering to do so when necessary. If you read more into the longer stories, you might find comments/hints that I was worried about him and Sombra coming across as too similar at times. Though, admittedly Sombra has a more fleshed-out character but they show some surface similarities I didn't want to cross. Or, at least it wasn't that way to me. I don't like giving characters same-y stuff, be it personalities or relationship dynamics.