• Member Since 10th Dec, 2015
  • offline last seen Jul 18th, 2018

Angelic Wing


I am a writer... An artist uses lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to conceal the truth... And I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence...

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Judge Sombra... A cruel monster ruling over fair Maris... Fluttershy... A shy, but passionate gypsy mare... And Discord, slave guard captain to Judge Sombra...What happens when Discord meets Fluttershy? Will his tortured past make him despise her? Will love or hate place themselves in their hearts for eachother?

It's been a while since I did a Fluttercord fic, but this idea, ironically, was inspired by the song "Topsy Turvy" from the Hunchback of Notre Dame. I did not copy the other fic that is similar to this. Completely different and in this one there is no monster in the bell tower thing going on. I hope you enjoy!

Chapters (2)
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Comments ( 7 )

At less it hasn't been over a year, :raritywink: Well I'll be reading this, I been wanting to read a different Fluttercord stories. Well good luck I hope you ain't rusty

I hope I'm not rusty either :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for the support! I know I haven't been on lately cause I kinda needed to expand my writing to other topics then MLP to get the flow going again.

I hope you don't mind if I make some suggestions?

I think the main thing about this story that doesn't work is who the characters are. I really don't see Discord as Judge Frollo. Frollo is a man of authority and is stifled by tradition, which is why he becomes so twisted. I actually see Discord as being one of the gypsies--free from authority, but still doing things that may be morally questionable or illegal. It might even make sense to put him in the role of a male Esmeralda (only with much more sass and snark). Fluttershy could be one of his fellow gypsies or just a simple townsmare that cares for the sick. Or she could even be a Phoebus type since she and her friends have the power to immobilize Discord with the Elements, only Fluttershy ends up falling in love with him. Sombra could be the judge.

"You may think you've outwitted me. But I'm a patient draconequus, and your kind don't do well inside stone walls.

This line in particular really doesn't seem like something Discord would say to someone else, given his aversion to stone walls.

I think it may be better to play with the tropes a bit more. Shift them around instead of trying to shoehorn a character into something they're not.

I hope my suggestions have helped. Keep writing and don't feel down. X

7063165
The suggestions helped a lot actually, thank you. :pinkiehappy: I don't know what I was thinking with this story... Your right, the characters don't match the people of the story at all. I just can't seem to stretch my mind enough to make this the way people like... But your suggestions helped a lot, so thank you again.

Wow. This...is...AWESOME! I love how well you wrote the dialogue and It feels like I was there.

7063165 Frollo is Sombra in this story.

Discord would have been an excellent Clopin Trouillefou.

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