I am a writer... An artist uses lies to tell the truth, while politicians use them to conceal the truth... And I, like God, do not play with dice and do not believe in coincidence...
Sirena.....The lost third princess.....Daughter of the deceased king and queen of Equastria.....
Unknown sister to Princess Celestia and Luna..... Sirena.... The keeper of the Songs of Destiny.....
And the mare who wishes to return home.....
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COUGH mary sue COUGH
Pardon me. Sometimes my criticism just forces its way out.
Besides the fact that you improperly use ellipses everywhere, your paragraphs feel really long. The story would definitely feel better if you split your paragraphs up better, as some have more than one idea in them. One paragraph, one idea.
Other than that, the only other criticism I have is probably the most obvious to me. The main character is extremely looking like a mary sue and the "Sister of (canon) character" has been done so much by the more noticeably bad fic's that even stories that are relatively well written like this one leave a bad taste in your mouth if they have elements like that in them. You would need to bedazzle readers immensely if you were to attempt having a plot revolving around that, and I really don't think you've done anything particularly spectacular yet for that attention-grabbing hook that makes people read.
Oh.... Ok thanks for your helpful critism, that's actually really helpful....
6883806
Maybe I'll just change the story entirely because of your helpful points and opinion. Thank you very much for your opinion