• Member Since 22nd Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Dec 4th, 2020

Kail


E
Source

The changelings have been defeated but is that the last of them? As the threat of the changelings grows an unlikely pair try to be a family to one another. One a changeling, cast off from the swarm. The other a little filly who only wants a family.

(Mechcolt as pre-reader)

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 355 )

not bad:moustache: it seems nice that theres a changeling story thats centered around a minor character but do changelings completely take emotions? or is it like a kind of parasite? or is it like the birds that eat the bugs off of a rhinoceros?

702422 nothing has been declared by hasbro or anyone working on mlpt, but i think its just when the changelings feel love they feed off of it, but the prey (pony being used as food from love and what-not) wont lose emotions.

This is really, really good for a first story. Dang! I wish my first story was this nice looking. I am a little confused, and I did spot a few grammatical and punctuation errors as well as formatting, but for a first fic, very nice work.

702474 i think ikind of like your perspective better. i dont like overly sad things :applecry:

702474
Well like you said it's up in the air so I took a little artistic liberty.:twilightblush:
My whole thing about it is it seems like if they feed of emotions it'd be like them being a parasite. Just my view. Anyway thanks for taking a look at this. I didn't think anyone'd be interested.

I liked it. A mix of common changeling and common Scootaloo stories into something new. I'll be tracking this to see where you go with it.
Btw caught a typo: "One of the changelings that had been at the weeding." Makes me think of Applejack trying to dig up weeds at the "garden party" during sweet and elite:rainbowwild:
Also I tend to think of changelings as symbiotic parasites. or at least potentially symbiotic parasites. They do much like what lightning is doing here, taking the place of lost/missing/absent loved ones (usually secretly) to feed of the love while filling the roll of their disguise.

Heavy is Tracking
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

tracked to see an awesome Scoot story

702538 i am EXTREMLY surprised that that name wasnt already taken:rainbowlaugh:. kudos to you pal. have a sandvich!:pinkiehappy:

702528
Thanks for the typo thing. I'll fix that. Hmm I guess you're right about what lightning does and what the changelings normally do but meh to each his own.

Looks like a promising start with an interesting premise! :twilightsmile: Please continue.

Good on you Kail. ^_^:pinkiehappy:

702578 this is original
and it made me smile
a track for being original
and a thumb for making me smile

Awesome story idea. I love Scootalove stories, and one with a changeling is a nice change of pace.

As for the format of the story, I have a couple pointers.
1) Every time a new character is speaking, start a new paragraph. It can get really confusing trying to figure out who said what. This idea can also be used with thoughts as well, just to make things easier for the reader.
2) Try and keep the spacing between paragraphs consistent throughout the story. About half way through the story, you go from having a space in between each paragraph to having none. Try and keep it all the same. I suggest using the space between, but it is up to you how it goes.
3) After you finish writing the story, proof read it before you publish it. There were a couple easy to fix errors like "and" instead of "an" and "sings" instead of "wings." If you aren't good at doing that ( I personally am horrible at with my own stories) there is a group of proofreaders that you can ask to look over your story. They may also point out flaws plot wise i.e. pacing to quick, or someone out of character, or give advice at some points.

All in all, I can't wait to see how this story unfolds. Hope I could be a little helpful with the C&C.

702788
Thanks. I honestly didn't think I'd be any good at this. I hope I can keep it up.:twilightsheepish:

Got a beta now so hopefully ya'll won't have to suffer my slaughter of grammar.:pinkiehappy:
Thanks TsunamiWhooves for the help!:rainbowlaugh:

You're very welcome Kail. :derpytongue2: It was my pleasure to read such a nice fanfic. :raritystarry:

I truck out?! :rainbowlaugh: enough puns... I liked it, thats what it counts! :raritywink:

more master i need it :pinkiecrazy:

Aight, I loved the story as I tend to love Scootaloo stories. Now all I need is an episode based on Scoots and I will be complete.

i actually shed a tear for poor scoot :applecry:she's one of my favorite characters
(it's sad when grievous cries) good fic fav and watching for more

When you think about it, it would make sense that a pony wouldn't be drained of their emotions when a changeling feeds on them. After all, if you look back at the hearths warming eve story, the windigos feed of hate, but the ponies were not drained of this emotion.

Hm.... I recently posted a comment (under Fun with Changelings) about having an idea for a story that involved Scootaloo adopting a changeling as a pet.

Did you--how shall I put this--borrow my idea? I don't mind--I don't think I was going through with writing it myself anyway. I'm just curious.

When you think about it, it would make sense that a pony wouldn't be drained of their emotions when a changeling feeds on them. After all, if you look back at the hearths warming eve story, the windigos feed of hate, but the ponies were not drained of this emotion.

703311
I did. After I read your comment I thought to myself what if I took this a bit further and this was born. I originally was gonna do a one or two shot but now I'm gonna run with this and see where it goes. I hop you'll stick around for it.:pinkiehappy:

703415
I thought windigos only got stronger in the presence of hate.

703436
They do, which is my point. wingdigos grow stronger in the presence of hate just like changelings grow stronger in the presence of love. The ponies in the story of Hearths Warming eve never stopped hating so it only makes sense that in the presence of a changeling, you wouldn't stop loving.

703559
But then why was Chrysalis searching for a place for her changelings to feed? if she could have looked anywhere and not have completely drained the love why not stay there? It seemed to me like the changelings would find an area, drain it of love, then move on to a new love filled area.

705683
She probably could have, but the problem was that she didn't want food, she wanted power. She was egotistical and arrogant, thus leading to her to thinking she could take over the WHOLE of equestria in one fell swoop.

I can see that I think. How bout we say we're both right and chalk it up to creative liberty on my part for how I made changelings work in my fic.

Best idea I've heard all day! :):pinkiehappy:
Regardless of what rules you follow, this is a cute concept for a fic, and I shall wait for more in the future.

:scootangel:Daww, That is all.

all hail the great kail that brings chicken to our table:pinkiecrazy:

KAIL IS THE CHICKEN BRINGER!!! :derpytongue2:

708904
Ok I honestly have no idea what's goin' on but "the great Kail" I like the sound of that. That made my day so I'll gladly continue!:rainbowlaugh:

so now whith the serius stuf.. i like the concept of the history, but maybe is just me and my bad memory, or the fact i am reading several changeling fics, but i feel that the way ligthing acts towards scootaloo is diferent, you see in the first chapter ligthing was injured, kind of desperate to find felings to eat, and then she saw scootalo crying, being the chiken she is, (sorry for the hearth less coment), an ligthing finds an opportunity to feed, she sees scotalo's lonelyness and finds an opportunity to receive the love of a mom, acting caring towards scotaloo, and so the thing i want to bring out is, well changelings are supposed to show of feelings , even if they don't have them, but they are not supuse to think of them in the same they express them.
and right now in the inner voice of lighting she is quite motherly, which is OK but i find it to soon as the relationship she has whit scootaloo is just starting, maybe later this kind of thought would be realistic .
and that's it, all my suggestions for now, but if you already set up your mind to this kind of fast paced history that is ok, i will still see it but in order for it to become popular you should make this motherly moments more accidental, and gradual not rushed like you just did on this chapter.
so... master i am waiting i want more story i need it......:pinkiecrazy:

709006
Ahh that's the beauty part! You see changelings by their nature are adaptable so she fell into the roll with ease. If you'll notice she's pretty smart. Also you've never seen her alone with just her own thoughts yet have you? She's always been with Scootaloo or with other ponies around. Do you really know Lightning or is all she's doing some elaborate charade? Is she sincere? Only I know for sure and I'm not telling.

Somehow, I could see this ending with a terrible yet beautiful bang. Lightning already seems so nice, let's keep it that way, shall we? :raritywink:

710416
Oh but what's a story without a little... mystique? Just let Lightning do her thing and I bet you'll like it.

it sounds like a bunch of dog toys are going of in my head

new yorkshire isnt catchy enough. i live in Bucklyn, Neigh York. (Brooklyn, New York) here some more "punny" city names
Mexicolt City (MExico City capital of mexico)
Los Pegasus
FIllydelphia
Vanhoover (vancouver canada)
hayjing(beijing, china
i would like to use paris and london but i cant find any good puns! :applecry:

712273
I'm gonna save a few of these. I wanted a city name that hadn't been used before. sadly punny names aren't my forte.
On that note couldn't Paris be Mareis..... see not my forte.

712407 well i do enjoy your story anyhow but the climax is yet to come!

709040 ok master, it was just my opinion i am glad you had this planed , it might be a good thing that you said so i am looking forward to the story, and i invite you to read and evaluate the story i just written check it out! please..:twilightsmile:
master i need more chiken :pinkiecrazy:

712711
It looks like it's not up yet. when it is I'll definitely give it a look.

702474 My personal opinion is that they don't weaken the target when they eat emotions in normal circumstances, but they have a defensive/offensive tactic to drain enemies of both strength and emotion, but I'm fine with all the other theories too.

I request moar from "the great kale"

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