a story of two reincarnated sayians protecting equestria. going through training, trials, and battles to keep the ponies safe from harm. (p.s the sayians are my oc and are displace)
Chapters (2)
wildfire mind
Joined 19th Oct, 2015 ·
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You need a proofreader and an editor... badly. I mean, the description alone almost stopped me from reading it because it is basically just two poorly written sentences.
Kris the Kris i sometimes have trouble Describe stuff
My story didn't get approved, because I had some "Grammar problems", but THIS DOES?! Who even runs this website anymore?!
>> mlpfan234 i don't understand how it works ether
6727877 Grammar isn't grounds for not approving a fic on FIMFiction. Contact the admins.
Well. Thanks for the blast. I had an amazing time torturing my friends with this
If you don't take the time to have correct grammar in your title, and description then how do you expect me to take time out of my day to read your story?
to be honest I can already say, it is already one Sayan to much for me, I like to concentrate on one Character.
Then I think not every character has to be displaced, I like to see some characters acting like they actually are from that universe, as in real characters, and not transformed Humans.
However this is not a real critic about your story, I just felt like saying that.
6728390 I´m no expert, but I think they aren´t perfect, so maybe their reasons are a bit different sometimes, if you know what I mean.
First thing first, caps for the title it should be A Saiyan Fight Till The End with Chapter One: The Prologue, Chapter Two: Finding Out. The group Looking For A Editor will help you find one,
Okay, wow I'm the first to comment on this. It felt a bit weird. First the guy (you) get murdered and apparently end up in Equestria with a girl. That totally weirded me out.
10043996
that is weird there all gone for some reason
10044017
Oh, guess more people commented on the other chapter.