• Published 13th Dec 2015
  • 1,003 Views, 14 Comments

A Saiyan fight till the end - wildfire mind



a story of two reincarnated sayians protecting equestria. going through training, trials, and battles to keep the ponies safe from harm. (p.s the sayians are my oc and are displace)

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chapter 2" finding out

-wild fire pov-
-7 years later-
-canter lot palace gardens-

I was running down the halls wear loose jeans a v-neck blue t-shirt with black boats " flame gonna have to be faster that if you want to catch me" I taunted abbey flame

" oh really wild" abbey replied chasing me while she was wearing loose jeans and a shirt with a photo of a flower on the chest and a flower hair with purple tennis shoes

I was confusing until *TUP*" I probably should of look where I was going," I said after running into a tree

"we should go to mommy it's about time to go to ponyville with her" abbey said checking the time

" yeah let's go," i said getting up we then ran to Celestia passing maids and butlers on the way

"mommy," we said at the same time making celestial jump she then turns to them

" ah there you are you are you ready to go," Celestia said to her kids

" yes mom we are to go," I said smiling

-ponyville-


we got off the carrier walking to the town hall "AAAAAAAAAAH HELP SOMEPONY HELP TIMBERWOLVES ARE ATTACKING" yelled a mare

running in the town. we turn to her and they were right behind her she ran pass us one of the Tiber wolfs saw abbey and attack her
that's when something clicked inside me and I got so anger an orange aura surrounded me looking it like was on fire, I then start attacking the Timberwolves I punch a Timberwolf right between his eyes I then jump and did an axe kick to a different Timberwolf on the back of it a third Timberwolf tried to pounce on me but I counter with a uppercut to the chin they like all shattering like glass after hit, I was thinking I was done, but I then heard a loud deep growl from behind I turn to see that all three turned into a 15 ft tall Timberwolf I then put my hands in front of my chest to charge a ki attack "SUUUUUU" I yelled while in my hands and an orange ball bigger than my hands appeared I then yelled "HAAAAAAAA" blasting the giant Timberwolf turning it to dust
i didn't realize i just killed a Timberwolf with this new find power until did it "oh no, I got to get out here so I don’t hurt anyone " I said to myself before running into ever free forest as fast as I can no one could catch me in time because they were still shocked at what I just did, I stayed running until I came to an opening

" oooo a Saiyan what a surprise I think your kind was existent I was wrong, but you can't control your Saiyan ability do you want me to teach you wild fire," said a disembodied voice

"Yes I would like that discord and can you add some chaos magic while you're at it that I would love, " I said much to discords surprise for knowing who he is and wanting to learn chaos magic

" how did you know it was me and why to do what to learn chaos magic I'm not complaining it's just know one what to learn chaos magic, " said discord coming into my line of sight

" well I'm a lot smarter then I look cause my body is 7 years old but not my mind and memory is 20 years old same with abbey and I like your magic plus I can use it for getting around faster and I can travel through space and I will never run out of food, people really don't understand how useful your magic is discord, and you were not wrong Saiyan where existent but me and abbey reincarnated into Saiyan so they wouldn’t be existent" i finish discord was about to burst into tears of joy from my words but before he did

"I see well, we should start training and warning this will be very hard training this next 6 years will be the some of the harder part of your life wild fire and you will call me master discord am I clear" after he stares at me for a good minute before " I SAID I'M I CLEAR"

"YES MASTER DISCORD SIR" I yelled with a look of determination on my face

“ good but you will need different clothes and they will heavy to help with the training “ discord said he then made clothes out of thin air “ here put this on over” that when discord realize there is no where to change or to rest when I'm not training, discord then made a house POP into existent no really it made a pop sound “ put them on in their wild fire”

“yes master discord,” I said, I walk into the house it look pretty nice. The fireplace was crackling giving off a warm and cozy feeling. There was a large bookshelf off to my right, which contained different chaos magic, Manuel, there were two couches wooden floor and a black rug in the middle of the room with a coffee table on it. there was an average bathroom three bedrooms guess one for me one for discord and one for a guess I went into the bathroom change my close fast
when I finished I look in the bathroom mirror and I was at awe because I look great I was weary an orange undershirt a loose and very stretchy black shirt, black pants, orange boats, orange belt, and a pair of blue wristbands. a lot of it was very heavy but I could still walk



-abbey pov-

-it’s two weeks later-

“when will he come back mommy I miss him,” I said tears rolling down my face

“ I don’t know abbey I sent a search party so we just have to wait till something come up, I have to go will you be alright till I come back abbey,” Celestia said looking worried

“ I am okay I just listen to some music till you get back,” I said while pulling out my phone going to that feel better

“I feel better now, I wonder what mommy is doing I will go check on her” I then got up and walk over to the door but when I was about to grab the doorknob the door open to find a guard in front of the doorway

“ princess abbey princess Celestia what’s to see you please follow me,” the guard said with no emotion whats so ever

“okay I was about to mommy anyway so lead the way,” I said a little curious that Celestia what's me

“there you are I have good news it’s about wild fire,” Celestia said making my eyes widen

“ what is it, tell me,” I said little impatient but I don’t care

“ we have found him and is not hu-”

“ GO GET HIM NOW” I yell at the top of my lungs cutting celestial off making the search party run out the doors

Comments ( 12 )

You need a proofreader and an editor... badly. I mean, the description alone almost stopped me from reading it because it is basically just two poorly written sentences.

Comment posted by wildfire mind deleted Dec 13th, 2015
Comment posted by wildfire mind deleted Dec 13th, 2015

Kris the Kris i sometimes have trouble Describe stuff

My story didn't get approved, because I had some "Grammar problems", but THIS DOES?! Who even runs this website anymore?!

>> mlpfan234 i don't understand how it works ether

6727877 Grammar isn't grounds for not approving a fic on FIMFiction. Contact the admins.

Well. Thanks for the blast. I had an amazing time torturing my friends with this

If you don't take the time to have correct grammar in your title, and description then how do you expect me to take time out of my day to read your story?

to be honest I can already say, it is already one Sayan to much for me, I like to concentrate on one Character.
Then I think not every character has to be displaced, I like to see some characters acting like they actually are from that universe, as in real characters, and not transformed Humans.
However this is not a real critic about your story, I just felt like saying that.

6728390 I´m no expert, but I think they aren´t perfect, so maybe their reasons are a bit different sometimes, if you know what I mean.

First thing first, caps for the title it should be A Saiyan Fight Till The End with Chapter One: The Prologue, Chapter Two: Finding Out. The group Looking For A Editor will help you find one, :twilightsmile::raritywink:

10044017
Oh, guess more people commented on the other chapter.

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