• Member Since 9th May, 2012
  • offline last seen 1 hour ago

MIKEANTHONY321


"But life didn't throw you sugar or water!" -Me

E

This story is a sequel to Bad Luck


20,000 views? Damn! Thanks, guys! Also, I just realized that my OC, Starlight, from this 4-year-old story, shares her name with Starlight Glimmer, who was recently introduced to the show. Small world, I guess?

Rainbow Dash and Thunder Flash are back in the sequel to Bad Luck. In the previous story, we found out that Rainbow Dash's deepest desire was to have a family. This is the story of that family.

The cover art was made by AMaleAlicorn. Thank you for your hard work!

Chapters (12)
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Comments ( 100 )

cool story dude really interesting. :twilightsmile:

Comment posted by Dark Lightning deleted Jun 27th, 2013

689514

It has good points... and bad points. I can see why your face would be all :ajbemused: , but I can also see why another person chose :twilightsmile: .

First, let's start with good points. :scootangel: The Poison Wish idea was hilarious, and Thunder Flash is awesome. The plotline is fairly okay, but the destruction of both Twilight's and Fluttershy's houses seemed repetitive. I thought it would have been better if Dash stopped the storm, and then met Thunder Flash. The scenes were funny, especially because of Rainbow's complete bad luck. I'm sure we've all had a bad day before, (not to Rainbow's extent, but close) and the audience can connect and sympathize.

Okay, now the bad points. :fluttershyouch: The amount of detail in the story is not enough. We can't tell the setting enough for us to comprehend what's happening on an emotional level. Also, the story doesn't come down to anything emotional or learned - in order to make your audience feel that their time wasn't wasted, you have to add something learned or significant in life. Also, the spacing is strange in some places and the vocabulary isn't that extensive. Also, perhaps Rainbow's dream was to join the Wonderbolts and by marrying Thunder Flash, she can do so? That makes more sense than was Twilight said before in the previous story, "Bad Luck".

Now that I'm done criticizing, I'm sorry if this made you :raritycry: XD I'm just trying to help. Maybe, if you're having trouble with editing, ask a friend of yours to do it or even another one of your fans or commenters.

I say that this is 3.5 stars. Originally, I gave it 2.5, but because you are 13, the age difference has to be put into account. Fix the spacing, and it's a 4 star.

:rainbowkiss: Rainbow Dash... as a mother...
B'dawwwwhh :scootangel:
I WILL stay following.
I can't wait to find out what happens next :twilightsmile:

~Rosalynn~:yay:

Good so far:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

689979

Ahahaha sorry, I just meant to reply to the author. But because both you and the commenter above you contributed, I decided to put your names there... the person above you I forgot to reply at the same time... Never mind.

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW:pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp::pinkiegasp:

692219
I KNOW RIGHT?!?
DOUBLE D'AWWWW! :3 :rainbowkiss:
I can't stop d'aww'ing xD

~Rosalynn~ :yay:

692494
I love D'AWing storys that need D'AWing:derpytongue2:

Brilliant job, my friend!:moustache:

LOVE IT. Pinkie Pie approves :pinkiehappy:

Rarity approves! :raritystarry:

Fantastic! I cant wait for the next chapter. And I think pictures would be cool. :twilightsmile:

I'm neutral on that

up to you dude your story

I am loving the story:twilightsmile: but you need and try too update fast like you are :twilightblush:you will lose favourites if it takes a long time to update:facehoof:

Very well done, my friend!:moustache:

716627

Hey, I can only update so fast! Don't worry, summer break is this Wednesday, then you'll get updates streaming in quickly! :rainbowdetermined2:

717571
No What I Said Was You Are Updating Fast:twilightsmile::twilightsheepish::trollestia:

718211
Okay, thanks! At least I know you like my story! :pinkiehappy:

You know, this has potential, but I feel that this is a little fast paced. If anything, the foals should still be asleep. I mean, they WERE born a few hours ago, right?

720390

Sorry, I'm good at a lot of things, but story writing is not my special talent! :derpytongue2:

Also, i had my doubts going into this, but i must say it's really shapiong up to something quite good :twilightsmile:

DDDAAA'WWW:raritystarry::raritystarry: Little angle foals:scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel::scootangel:

Eh, no matter, it was good enough.

Would you care to explain how she can text though? I am really curious about this :rainbowhuh:

747343

That's something you can figure out by yourself! Let me just say for the record that the characters are NOT humanized!

747407 Well, it's easy enough to know that they are not humans because they say "FOAL" and that stuff, and i have no idea how she would do it though...

This chapter was pretty great! Allow let me tell you why. I was listening t my ipod and Tuesday's Gone by Lynyrd Skynyrd came on, and it was just fantastic reading this to that song. :twilightsmile: Keep 'em coming, Friend!

:rainbowkiss: <-- my face is stuck like this, I hope you are proud of yourself

d,aaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww:rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

HA! Funny... It was great! :twilightsmile:

*randomly walks into the hospital*

s3.amazonaws.com/memerial.net/pictures/page/587.jpg

(in a good way)

fake sleeping so funny:rainbowlaugh::trixieshiftright::trixieshiftright:

I'm already in love with the foals :scootangel:
Haha :3
Lookin' forward to more, as always!

~Rosalynn~:yay:

DDAAAAAWWWWW THATS SO ADORABLE!!!! :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

looks like they *puts on glasses* just had fun in bed :pinkiehappy:

Heartwarming and awesome, perfect update in my opinion :twilightsmile:

But... If Rainbow and Thunder are both in the Wonderbolt's, who will watch their kids? :rainbowhuh:

DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA'WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

BEST. CUTIE MARK. EVER!

aww.... It's almost over :raritycry: Oh well, I cant wait to see how this wraps up. And I have written short chapter's before, but you actually have a reason to. So don't feel too bad :scootangel:

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Thank you for being so forgiving! :rainbowkiss: I will be writing more stories in the future (maybe not on the same topic), so always stay tuned! :twilightsmile:

857541
Hay, yeah I'll keep listening to an awesome writer like you! :yay:

857634

Thank you, that comment just made my day! :yay:

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