Rainbow has always had problems because of the way she looked. After the royal wedding things start to change for her, but will she be able to learn to trust him or will her past stand in her way? Find out in this exciting, plot twisting tale. Some Ratings for future chapters.
Ugh... This is a great fic, but the formatting, grammar and punctuation really needs some work! Hire an editor, fix what needs fixin' and you'll be sailing smoothly.
Mmmm...
Not bad. Needs a bit of work. But I will track just in case.
Looks good! A little editing wouldn't hurt, but the story is great non-the-less. :-)
Oh dear... Don't say you didn't ask for this...
I guess I'll show what I found wrong with this story:
1.
DO NOT make that a new sentence, it is better with a comma instead
2.
Make it like one of these two
Or
3.
Eeenope. Run on sentence
4.
Change it to
5.
Its okay, but it would sound better if it was
6.
This is not a editing problem, but more of "What...?" problem.
What?
7.
Don't know what to say... ADD A COMMA AND A DIFFERENT PERIOD LOCATION!
8.
Ehh, not that much wrong with it
Or
9.
Just.... No... You got the RD impression correctly, (Except for the () part ) but the sentence is out of place...
10.
Random capitalized A?
11.
Hurr Durr You didn't capitalize the I and at the
It should be
12. Double space
13.
No, you forgot a comma
14. Once again double space
15.
Comma =/= Not the right place
16. Spike is a noun. Not a common noun to be exact...
=/=
17.
Walk = No
Walked = Yes
18. I'm no pro Southern Accent but I think mite in this sentence is wrong
19.
I know its wrong, but I don't know what to say... Run-on, no idea, Confusing FIX IT!
20.
Again...
21. Might sound better if its like..
To
22.
What did they order? The drinks are fine but the food... What?
23.
Into
My my.. this needs a lot of work. For the creativity (The type of story, like AppleXFlutter RainbowXRar, A sad, happy, dark, etc.) It is awesome, but without proper grammar and spelling it turns into a jumbled mess...
I'm no pro but I can say one thing, Its original but needs work.
Now, don't think this wont get you a like. I personally enjoyed the story line so far. Please continue.
On a side note... HA Deep "Dead" Pool! I BEAT YOU!
(If you were there you would understand the Dead part)
GRAMMAR!!!!!
Other than that I must say I enjoyed reading it!
nice read I will deffinately watch for this story
Wow bronies must also be grammer nazi's lol jk great fic can't wait for more
1679173
yeah, its like youtube all over again
1679561 I'm actually a Grammar Nazis as well
WALL OF TEXT
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
Please, write more. I want to know what's going to happen next.
1679173
1679561
1679714
encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcR2QDx384Uugz1QkOgDzIj2FXinlGgQ2U6b7YgcMrb3YCoMr-_v
more plzzzzzzzzz
While this is good, the formatting and grammar errors destroyed any flow it would have had, so I ended up just skimming it and feeling like you rushed it and half-assed any proofreading (if there even was any).
trolling trollestia
Please update!
1677349 wow... just wow, you my good sir are a rambling asshole, but eh what do i care it isn't my story but you went to the point of pointing out double spacing between a few words? I didn't even notice these mistakes when i read it. What did you do? Go to the story as if you were this person's teacher and went ah yes this is wrong, this is wrong, omg this is right but i must make it look wrong. I know er mer gerd yer gering drn to his rever what rrr u dowang.
Now i'm bored please grammar nazi me hitler.
2648443 *Cough* 27 *Cough* Weeks *Cough* Ago. *Cough*
But anyways, I'm an EDITOR. I'm not a story writer, in fat, I suck at writing stories. But editing is something I'm good at. So, I should do this.
Just because I'm a Brony doesn't mean I don't care about Grammar.
EDIT: Just read the last part of your thing. No, I don't grammar check comments.
I like the storyline a lot, but the grammar and all the ideas and event's unfolding way too fast turned me away. Maybe draw it out a bit more... focus on the five senses, the deeper levels of writing, and relax a bit more. It seemed like you were trying to rush to the end, but the story has enough potential that you could just slow down and enjoy writing it.