• Published 6th Feb 2016
  • 242 Views, 8 Comments

Child of Order - Unwhole Hole

A flight accident propells Rainbow Dash 450 years into the future and into a dark, hyper-technological world where all her friends have long since passed and where shadowy forces conspire to determine the fate of Equestria.

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Comments ( 7 )


At long last, this story is complete. I would like to thank my follower (there is only one) for following me thought the process of writing this. I do hope that the length does not smack of pretension, as it is truly inadvertent. Because of the sheer amount of heavy metal and chocolate milk (gallons) necessary to write a story of this length, in the future, I shall attempt to keep them below 20 chapters (or even 10).

I intend to submit this story at roughly midnight Greenwich Time tomorrow. If, by some miracle, it passes moderation, I hope you, my readers, enjoy it. And if you don’t, feel free to let me know why. Even negative feedback helps the process.

~Unwhole Hole

I feel really bad, because I feel you must have put a lot of work into this, to have published it all at once with the monstrous word count, and yet no one has saw it. I actually feel fucking terrible, you deserve more recognition for your work man.

7371286 Thank you for your concern, but you don't need to feel bad. Its mostly my fault for not having uploaded more slowly and for having poor community engagement. That, and this just doesn't seem to be the kind of story the Audience wants to read very much.

I write for the fun of it. I'm just that some people read it.

There were quite a few parts where you mixed up 'your', which is the possessive, and 'you're', which means 'you are'.

Other than that, the story was pretty fun! I really enjoyed the variety of characters in it. I'm in the process of reading it again!
Also, Lich!Shining Armor, Tyrant Sparkle, Demon Queen!Fluttershy, and Cyborg(?)!Rainbow Dash make for one epic adventure. :pinkiehappy:

7544147 Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Also, thank you for pointing out my poor editing. It is probably one of my weakest points, not just here but on my other stories as well. I know the grammatical difference, but I get really excited in some parts and type too fast to check myself.

You're welcome! :twilightsmile: I hope to see more of your stories soon!

IMHO it's this story is the one of the Fimfiction hidden gems ). Dark future is impressive and has enormous scale to dive in ). Don't know why it's not popular (maybe because it's sequel for not so interesting source story and people leaving reading without reaching sequel; myself is lucky one here - I've started reading sequel firts). Also, it's worth mentioning that there is second hidden gem with same popularity problems - "Fallout of Equestria: We're not heroes" - maybe it will be nice read for you too ). Same for Nameless Narrator's books ... you should create a club of "talented authors, unpopular for no damn reason".

P.S. Some nasty moments (like Fluttershy's ... inhabitants or that lab full of small ponies) are hard to digest for sensitive persons like myself but overall it's good story, that makes most of modern "official" sci-fi literature feels not worth reading anymore.

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