• Member Since 14th Oct, 2015
  • offline last seen 10 hours ago

Unwhole Hole


Digging it deeper. Always deeper.

Comments ( 44 )

I truely didnt expect to find this nearly as funny as i am. Hopefully this continues till the end.

Please tell me at some point in this story you explain toasters existence? Shes just too off to be natural.

This has been one of the weirdest stories ive ever read, but damn if it was so entertaining that it xaused me to stay awake for 2 1/2 extra hours to finish it.

This is rare: a 95-thousand word story posted in its entirety all at once.

Well, we'll see how it goes!

“Mein leiben!” cried Bread’s voice from next door.

What exactly do you wanted to write there? "My loaves" as in loaves of bread? That would be "Meine Leibe!" instead of what you got there.

This is getting more and more bizzare. I like it!

Fluttershy, the daugther of Pony Satan.

7217340 There is an old videogame called Wolfenstein 3D. In it, when you plug a Nazi, they jump up, spin around, and shout "Mein Leben!" or somesuch.

What the absolute fuck did I just read? Completely retarded yet somehow serious enough to not just be wacky Bullshit. I just don't know what I read but damn if I didn't regret it.

Soooo, either Toaster is a actual Toaster made a Pony via a eldritch mixture of the arcane and science or someone tired to either create the perfect sextoy OR superweapon, something went horibly wrong (or right, depends on the perspective realy) and this is the result.
I myself tend to the later.

Also, the parts with Fleur and Pinkies mom were hilarious!

“Oh, and look at this,” said Madame Tickler, turning the page toward Toaster and displaying a grotesque image. “One stallion had his own horn shoved up his own PLOT.”
“He said he wanted a horn in there!” cried Toaster.
“Yes! YOUR horn, not his OWN!

Ouch :rainbowlaugh:

“LITERALLY NO ONE wants to have sex with a CLOWN! Clowns are creepy and weird, not sexy!”

Well, in this case, Toaster has a point. I just googled "clown fetish" and believe me or not, it has a name (coulrophilia). So it's probably a thing.

Or, of course, the incident with the…the banana…”
They both shuddered violently. “Yeah,” said Toaster. “Even I admit that that one was pretty bad. What ever happened to that guy?”
“He was voluntarily gelded and became a priest of Celestia.”

Yeah, bananas have that effect on ponies... :rainbowlaugh: Rethinking one's spirituality, I mean.

A minor nitpick: Don't use "plot" when you mean the pony's behind. It was funny back in 2010, but now it's an old meme.

She flipped around and lifted her rump to him. “Go ahead,” she said, softly. “Join my mile-high club. And I am about eighty percent sure I won’t give you anything that can’t be cured with antibiotics!”
“That won’t be necessary!” said the stallion, his voice going oddly high as Toaster pushed herself against him, swaying her tail in preparation. “It’s on the house!”
“No it isn’t,” snapped Toaster. “I do not accept charity. I HAVE to pay for this ride! By giving you a ride, as the case may be.”

Getting a little desperate here, huh, Toaster?

Well, I´m past pissed that Toasters father did not get ripped limp from limp or that we never saw Pinkie admit her whore issues came from her mother but that aside, this was an really enjoyable, WTF inducing read.^^

7217567
Ah! That bullshit game, I remember all those nights playing it. Good times, good times.^^ Now this sentence of yours makes much more sense since it basicaly means "My life!"

Huh. They're all insane.

Well played, Unwhole Hole.:ajsmug: I was looking for a quick clop, this pops up in the clop section, and now I'm crying from the feels. :pinkiesad2:

Well done. This is a lot more satisfying than the unwholesomeness I was planning before and I'm really glad to have stumbled upon it. :pinkiehappy:

"Yulbee Cummingtonite" what is this, Leisure Suit Larry? I appreciate that!

Toaster is out-Pinkieing Pinkie and I love it. You're doing a great job at developing a seriously abnormal protagonist.

I started reading this fic under the presumption that there would be no sanity found within these digital pages.

I've not been disappointed yet. :pinkiecrazy:

7218119

Why am I not surprised to see you reading this ?

6 hours that is how long I have been rotating between reading this and playing fallout 4. What has my life come to?

p.s I loved it

“And it doesn’t end there.” Pinkie Pie appeared beside Big Mac. “Her perversion will lead to GREATER sin. Soon, bestiality will be commonplace!”
“Not that! Anything but that!” cried Loving Ewe, holding her husband close.

heheh

Rarity was mistaken for a prostitute...
I thought you said this was the unfunny chapter.

“What about that Flash Sentry?” asked Fluttershy. “He seemed nice.”
“Yeah, I considered him. Except when I did, I got so many complaint letters that bringing them in nearly killed Derpy.”
ha :rainbowlaugh:

You should write more stories like this, all the character were equally off beat, making the whole world feel cohesive. This was a fun little ride while it lasted.

she could outrun most of the city guards, considering how almost all of them had taken arrows to the knee at one point or another.

*claps*

I cant imagine amount of random stories you have to read, to write this one XD

A really great story I enjoyed tremendously.

For some reason, this reminds me of the movie "Tank Girl"

This was...very strange. Picked it up because I realized I'd yet to read one of your comedies, and it's...well, it's very you.

Reading it in one go definitely gave me some mood whiplash, going from the funny to the melodrama to giant robots controlled via lewding, but hell that's true of a lot of your fics. Or maybe it's just that I tend to binge your stuff, so I get it all in giant mixed doses. :V Some of the funny sections were downright maddening, the density of puns, jokes, references, and general bullshit so high that it was nigh overwhelming. I approve. :pinkiecrazy:

While these early stories of yours aren't quite as polished as 485,000, the bits of interconnected continuity liven things up some.

Mark my words, some day there will be a bat pony wandering a dystopic future using a device very similar to this to manipulate objects at will and I did not know it could do this!”

FIVE YOU LITTLE SHIT

Just as soon as I finish my morning nap…and my afternoon nap…and my evening nap…and my nighttime nap.”

“Don’t you just mean your regular sleep?” asked Applejack.

Rainbow Dash chuckled. “You sure don’t know how naps work, do you, AJ?”

This got me really good.

While this story really does earn its random tag, it is also depressingly heartwarming as well.

My only critical opinion is that the over the top violence seemed rather out of place. Particularly when the 'bad guys' show up, they are actually incapable of being hurt. Just my opinion of course.

Somewhat odd reactions to her, really. Her career is recognized, regulated, and licensed, but everyone seems shocked about it. Obviously Toaster's not helping her own case, but it still feels odd. Ah well, questions for later.

“What in the Sam Hill is going on in there?” said Applejack. “I thought you were supposed to be helpin’ Braeburn with the hay…don’t tell me you to are…” her eyes narrowed, and she looked down at the sheep. “Come on, Loving. Let’s see what all the fuss is.”

A sheep named Loving, heh. I paused reading just to guess that "Loving ewe" is going to be used.

“Maybe the oil was bad?” suggested Loving Ewe, pushing on the door herself.

:pinkiecrazy:

I smell the darkness lurking ahead.

“No, I’m ugly! I’m the poopie baby! All I ever wanted to do was have sex, and get paid for it, and I can’t even do that! Literally EVERY mare can have sex, but I can’t! I just want to be LOVED!”

I can't help but think of another type of creature that uniformly matches Toaster's color scheme and also needs love.

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