Hi there my name is Ori and I am a creature of light , a Lightkin or a Lucis propinquis if you want to go all sciency, I had been under pony care before I have been left wondering for a long time now or so to speak, though the term pet is more appropriate in my situation, I prefer not to label myself as such.
I have done many things in that time left wondering, climbed mountains discovered, long lost secrets and also made some friends and enemies, in time I will tell you all of that, but first let's start from the beginning...
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A Ori and the Blind Forest crossover and a rewritten version of an older story, which you can read here.
Hope I do a better job, now let's begin.
Sad tag Removed because of reasons that are not sad.
Author:Derpy Engineer HD
Proofreader:
Editor:Stellar Spiral
Backup editor: Jacknife557
The 'Beginning'?
I am glad to see you decide to restart this story. I never really liked displaced stories and I am a big fan of Ori and the blind forest.
I love how this reflects the beginning of the game. Keep up the good work.
Great star and also a good I think it was a smart idea to rewrite the story. I can't wait for more!
Thank you for telling me about the story, but I´m going to read it a bit later. I don´t feel ill or anything, but I don´t think I´m in the right state to give you my honest opinion if I should read it now, I just can´t enjoy it with the slight headache.
I still hope it doesn´t end, like I think I heard the game is supposed to end, you know with him going back to where he came from, or did he not even exist anymore in the end, I´m not sure what I had seen back there. I´m sure it is fun to play, but I could watch the whole time as another one played it on youtube.
6536812 Spoilers for the game ahead: no Ori did survive in the game, there was no indication that she left only that she watched the rebirth of her race
I hate Starswirl most of the time, but not in this story, since he gave me no reason to hate him. I guess I just didn´t liked the idea that only that single Unicorn was able to be nearly as good as he was, it would be more realistic, if at least some of them got 3/4 of his power, or something like that.
I hope that was just Luna getting the wrong idea, well it doesn´t means that I don´t like him, since he doesn´t have to be the same Starswirls as in the show. It is just something like an instinct, that I have a hard time to like some certain OP characters.
Well long story short, I have as usually some characters I prefer, and some that I don´t prefer, but it was a nice chapter.
I just hope to see someone else than the usual Faust, as her mother. I understand some of the other reasons for it, but I get a bit tired of reading about her being nothing else than a god, and really nothing else.
Sometimes even something far stronger than we could image, but at the same time she doesn´t manage to do anything, I just like it different sometimes, but I don´t hate it if you should choose her as her mother.
6537208 starswirl and faust together? oh god that would be a whole other story in it's own right, but no, there will be no faust mother in this story, though I am not saying she won't be included.
6537503 That is okay, I just don´t know why no one tries to let her be(Faust) something different than a god, it is like they would be afraid of her being well just a Filly, or something like that.
6537208
What about a story where Starswirl is a female, earth pony, con-artist?
6537713
I've read a story where Faust was just Lyra's college roommate (and she only showed up in flashbacks, also). I think she was a unicorn in that one, but it's been a while.
6540538
If I understand it right, that could be interessting, at least something else.
However I don´t think you still have the name for one of those storys, have you?, that is if the first one even already exist.
6540591
The Legend of Star Swirl the Bearded
Only Human: A Lyra Heartstrings Production
I couldn't remember the name of either one for a while. Sadly, they are both incomplete.
*Clap clap clap clap clap clap*
Ori and the blind forest = Nominated in categories : Feels,: Game of the Year.
This fic is good.
6563114 thank you I worked hard on keeping this chapter a good as can be while writing, and I am glad you like it
6532344 yes the beginning of Ori's life, the time where she was born and evidently found by Luna.
The beginning of her life story.
6569614 My phrasing is in quotations due to the spelling of the chapter title requiring three 'n's.
6569629 Huh, thought I fixed that already, and how in the world did I miss that?
6569653 There we go, good as new.
that is cute.
Still worried about disappointed us? Dude don't worry about it, you'll never know if you don't try.
6672281 Don't worry the next chapter is ready, it's just going through editing at the moment it will be out soon
Have you considered using Word to write it out, then copy and paste it here?
It's what I do....
Other notes: Good Story!
YOUR WELCOME!
Not sure what I said before, but I think I´m going to like the new version very much, I just hope nothing happens, that makes me to hate Starswirls again.
Well I don´t hate him, but I somehow don´t like who/what he is supposed to be, at least I think that is my biggest problem with him normally.
I'M OUT OF CHAPTERS! I AM REQUESTING MORE! IN A VERY LOUD VOICE, JUST BECAUSE!
6706988 WHAT!? I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER ALL THE PM'S TO MAKE MORE CHAPTERS I'M GETTING!!!!
Seriously people who do that need to chil
6707915 What, just saying make more chapter? If I'm requesting new chapters in a PM, then I'm asking to make sure the authors not flooded with real life BS. If you're busy you're busy, if you're working on chapters cool, in both cases you're taking care of your crap and will publish a chapter when you get the chance. Even if you just have writer's block, you'll publish a chapter eventually. I just check in with the author every once in a while to find out if they're okay.
6708491 dude I wasn't complaining, I was just making a joke about this one guy who kept spamming me about it.
Also I appreciate you're concern for me and other writers as well.
6710294
I like writers, why wouldn't I show concern for them. Writers write stories I enjoy, in return I care about them. Caring about others also helps me deal with my own crap.
Its Good !! You should continue.
Ahh, I was excite for the restart. And it seems you have delivered a delicous first chapter.
Just a reccomendation for the re-write, try to keep out the displaced as much as you can. It usually degrades the quality of the story a lot. When I read stuff I want to see how the character grows and becomes better on their own, not what happens when you throw a whole bunch of characters at it.
No matter if you take my advice or not. I am excited to see where you take this
6902225 thank you and the reason I rewrote this was to avoid the displaced shenanigans in the first place because I felt it had been sucked dry a long time ago, the only reason I am writing a displaced story of the joker is to have a good excuse for some collabs in the future with other writers.
Is good. Maybe more?
Hay as much as I play the game I'm loveing this half teh death keep going and don't lose ur will teh fight for the story on that note no player dose not want a bad end but if it fit the scene well then roll with the flow (prime flow that is).
I would like to have a new chapter please.
7664586 there will be and updates will be more frequent when I get a laptop
Cool
Kewl
It's a nice concept, but it's going a bit fast. You should be showing, not telling. Try to paint a picture with words, don't just say what's happening.
Example bad:
I looked at the creature. It spread its arms and I frowned. I smiled as I realised what it was doing. I hugged the creature.
Example good:
I looked at the glowing blue creature in front of me with curiosity. It's luminescent body lighting the darkness of the forest around us as its eyes stared into my own. The creature spread its arms, causing me to frown, expecting an attack, but once I recognised the gesture I smiled, rushing forward to reciprocate the hug.
See how much better it is? It paints a picture. It's longer, more content with better quality.
I like to think you can never have too much detail in a story.
8162294 Thanks for the criticism, I will make sure to do that in the future, I had noticed it myself it is just that my vocabulary isn't the greatest which can make it difficult.
but still thanks for the example, I will make sure to try to do that.
But
Luna cheered in victory.
left
Had
What
All
nice touch with the wintergaten marble machine
8299685
thanks
Hiatus = canceled it will never be continued
8650307
That is not true Hiatus means what it means, this is only temporary.
8656735
I assumed because of all the other story's on hiatus since 2012-2016 are never continued