- Member Since 3rd Aug, 2013
- offline last seen Nov 17th, 2019
Prince Ecosis
My OC is Prince Ecosis, a troubled human reincarnated as Equestria's first-ever male Alicorn, and after 200 years of being evil, lives happily as Princess Celestia's son and nature-controller.
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Look up the term Woobie, then try not to make your main character one.
6670294
You always have something to say about my stories, don't you?
6670294 **chough** chough** look at tags **chough ** **chough
6670355 I don't know, which stories are yours?
6670438 I can't tell whose side your on here. Dark and slice of life is no excuse for a total woobie.
6670438
Thank you
I only skimmed quickly, but it looks like Sweetie Belle is only mentioned once (and never named) as the little sister of Fluttershy's friend who uses diapers at night.
6670618
She will be in the next chapter
The grammar is good and the pacing is good too.
But I think you way overdid the tragic past element.
6670877
I dont know why is tagged by dark, Its that because Fluttershy is making the colt to act like a baby since he dont know? Or because the next chapters?
6671154
I understand. But I promise you, Chapter Two will make it better.
6671537
I removed the dark tag. You have a point, so I replaced it with the tragedy tag.
Another sweet and awesome story I can not wait for more chapters :)
6683621
Glad you like it!
6683740 I love it <3 :)
God I love this story! It's really tragic and sweet and really cute at the same time kinda like FoE:pink eyes
This definitely gets an upvote from me. Don't listen to all the haters! You sir deserve a spike-stache!
6691636
Glad you like it! Next chapter almost ready!
I was a little hesitant to read this story, just like The Abyss' "Instincts of a Mother," but as I just read that one, and enjoyed it, I decided to give this one a shot too! Thank Celestia too, it was amazing! I love seeing Fluttershy taking on a motherly disposition as much as I do Twilight! I can't wait for the next chapter, staring the story!
"Dear Celestia,
Today I learned not to judge a book (story, fanfic, etc) by its tags, and to just read it anyway! You might be pleasantly surprised!
Your Faithful Student,
NotTwilight"
Also, has anyone submitted a cover-art yet? If not, I would love to try! Also, do you have any ideas on the appearance, as there is no description of him in the story.
6691929
I'm very glad you decided to check out the story, and liked it!
As for the cover art, PinkieDP said he would work on one for me. However, that doesn't mean you can't try also. I'll take as many cover arts as I can and pick the best one! (PM me for details and appearance)
Once again, thanks!
While I'm enjoying the story there are a few things that do irk me somewhat.
Like some people have previously noted, I feel that the back story for the Anon/Sweetheart character feels like a wasted opportunity to spread across the story. If you manage to entice readers from the start whilst giving little details here and there for Anon/Sweetheart it makes them care a lot more and wish to know more.
For example, like in the first chapter, it's stated that Anon/Sweetheart has never been through any form of education during the very early years of his life and I think it would have been a lot more interesting to see him try and go to school, expected to do an amount of school work expected for someone like his age and then fight it very hard when he doesn't understand the basics of Maths and English. Not only do the characters in the story realize there is a problem, but the readers will have something to care about, hoping that he'll somehow get through education with some help.
I don't think it was exactly right that he went straight to school and put into the regular class. I thought schools would check the student over before going in and put them in a group that would suit them best before actually starting to learn. I think Fluttershy should have explained Anon/Sweetheart's situation to her and allowed her to make a decision on what is best for him.
Either way, I'm really enjoying the story and I wish you see more.
Keep up the good work.
6694239
Well, thanks for the advice. And I'm glad you like it. It'll get better as the story progresses.
Pretty good.
I do agree with Glitchy that you wasted an opportunity to spread out Anon/Sweetheart's backstory. To some extent, you suffer from the "show, don't tell" aspect for his backstory.
I have to admit, that is a pretty clever naming convention.
6694314
I don't really know how to show and not tell. It's just a little hard for me.
And I'm glad you approve of Fluttershy's naming convention.
Super cute and awesome very well done :)
6694533
Thanks!
I liked it a lot, it was awesome! I agree with a lot of people about the backstory thing. However, wasn't it explained in a fit of rage by Anon himself? Honestly, I'm too lazy to go back one chapter and look about halfway down the story to find it! If so, that would explain WHY it was all at once, if you have ever been deeply depressed, or even suicidal, as I was, you can kind of relate to a character like Anon. I find that I actually AGREE with the way the backstory was revealed, as it WAS done in rage (still lazy!). I would have done the exact same thing if I were Anon, and would have most likely written it the same way, too. I can't wait for the next chapter!
By the way, started on getting the poses right for the two characters, will move on to combining soon. Also, as I'm not really a creative type, I am using SFM to get the poses correct, as well as research. I find it quite helpful, to be honest, as it will also help with proper shading and lighting. So, more updates later. I'll probably do updates on my DeviantArt, if anyone cares to see the progression. http://dante123114.deviantart.com/
6695116
I'm glad you liked it and agree to the backstory thing.
why did you make the character life miserable, i felt pain and suffering
but the story is great keep it up writer 
and this is perfect
6695565
Thanks. And don't worry. Everything will become better for him.
this is how i felt towards diamond tiara and silverspoon
6695721
Me too.
omg this story was oustanding keep up the good work and write some more please . i feel like crying right now, you really touch the hearts of the readers . i will fallow this story
6695769
Thanks!
This is a really adorable story. I loved it, especially because I like the quiet and adorable stories, with just some characters and some quiet situations. They are so relaxing for me. I liked a lot the part of the school in the alternative class. I had some troubles when I was young and I'd help being in a class like it. You also made a great job with Sweetie Belle, always kind, always trying to make new friends and helping everyone to feel comfortable, that's exactly how I think she is all the time.
6697647
Glad you like it.
6753447
Don't worry. Things will get better for him.
6754441
Yes. Trust me.
6754457
No. Then there would be no need to finish this fic.
6754484
I don't want his incontinence to be healed because this is a fic where anyone can ignore life lemons, no matter how large.
6754492
But this is a setting where you could realistically transmute your lemons into something else.
I do not think woobies are bad.
I hope the 'price' is testifying against the orphan keepers and not something that further delays his development. I guessnthe pacifier is not too bad?
It was interesting to read this one after the epic tale you wrote for Scootaloo being adopted by Fluttershy. There were just as many similarities as there were differences. Each of which provided a lot of thought-provoking ideas. :)
Based on your writing, I definitely can see Flutters making for a good mom. Moreover is how Flutters would genuinely want to seek out an opportunity to parent a foal of her very own. Your presentation of her is very maternal and easily imaginable given the lead-ups you provide to create the moments.
I also like Fluttershy's mom, Flutterkind. She seems very caring and understanding. Her personality also carried over perfectly from the Scootaloo story to this one. Nice job!
The tale of how "Anon" / "Sweetheart" became an orphan also reminded me a lot of how some children IRL end up in dire situations in which are out of their control. Humanity can be very thoughtless / selfish. Reading about the mom and how the "Birth Defects" made our hero a not-s--welcome addition to the orphanage certainly pulled at the heartstrings while setting up for how Fluttershy and Cheerilee were able to prove to him that life definitely could be better beyond the frightful situation we first found him in.
Great job! One more story to go. The 1st Person was a nice touch for this piece. I also like how the "Foal Play" elements are subtle without being forced. They really just help add to Fluttershy having a maternal instinct while shedding light on a medical condition that does genuinely impact people of all ages. :)
If his name is Sweetheart, why is he referred to as "Anon" in this chapter?
This doesn't strike me as really a problem since it's implied that Sweetheart's crayon drawings are done rather well.
These two sentences show the majority of your grammar errors in this fic:
The first sentence would be corrected by placing the comma inside the quotation mark.
The second sentence would be corrected by removing the comma after the closing quotation mark. If there is punctuation mark inside the quotation mark, a comma is not needed.
7136001
"Sweetheart" isn't his name. It's just a temporary name only Fluttershy and her family uses. Anon is used for others. He will receive a real name once he collects his cutie mark in a few chapters. It would be weird for everyone he's just now getting to know to call him Sweetheart, so I had them refer to him as "Anon" is they're not a Flutter.
OK, thanks for the feedback. I'll try to improve this over time. And I'm glad you have no problems with Tree Hugger's character or her decision to pay for drawings.
7136108 I feel like correcting you.
Anon is not used for others, it is used in second person fics to imply that anyone could be that character. It's kind of a joke.
He's a pony which means other ponies need a name to call him. If Fluttershy calls him Sweetheart then so should everypony else. Or they should give him a name, but having other ponies call him Anon is like they are just calling him "You there", which doesn't make sense.
7137200 In my opinion, I see "Anon" as being a name, and "sweetheart" a motherly nickname. My name is Dante, however, my mother would sometimes call me "sweetheart" when I was younger. I feel like Anon, while a bit weird and even a little lazy of a name, is a proper name nonetheless.
7137334
Thank you!