• Published 11th Sep 2015
  • 1,215 Views, 27 Comments

Licky Flitter - Hap



Princess Luna only enters ponies dreams through the power of Flitter’s tongue which is the important part.

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*lick, lick*



Rainbow Dash woke up and said, “Wow, that was a crazy nightmare. Good thing it had a happy ending.”

She looked around and said, “Hey, I saw somepony here!” Because she is fast and she woke up fast and saw somepony before they could run away.

Rainbow Dash flew out of her bedroom but didn’t see anypony, even though she was really fast. She scratched her head and thought back to the time that she tried to run away from Pinkie Pie’s party invitation. And other various times. The only pony faster than Rainbow Dash is Pinkie, and only because she cheated.

Rainbow Dash grinned because if a creepy pony watches her sleep then it is fair to cheat to catch this creepy pony.

So Rainbow Dash went to go find Pinkie Pie but Pinkie Pie wasn’t interested in catching the creepy pony who watches Rainbow Dash sleep. She thought it was boring and wanted to have fun instead.

But then Rainbow Dash went to Sugarcube Corner and bought two cakes because she remembered Discord talking about how much fun that was. She gave one to Pinkie Pie and told her she could have the other one if she helped find the creepy sleep-watching pony but cake by itself isn’t that much fun so Pinkie Pie wanted to have a party.

So they went to Fluttershy’s house because Fluttershy has practice with two-cake parties and they had a party and then Pinkie Pie said okay.

Pinkie Pie watched Rainbow Dash sleep. Rainbow Dash said it would be exciting but Pinkie got bored and started counting cloudbugs that only live in cloud houses because Rainbow Dash’s house is a cloud house. But bugs are pretty boring too so Pinkie Pie fell asleep and had a nightmare about bugs until Princess Luna came and scared away the bugs and also gave Pinkie Pie a bunch of cupcakes that didn’t have bugs on them or in them.

But Rainbow Dash woke up and saw a pony watching Pinkie Pie sleep and heard a flapping noise like a dog licking its lips and she tried to chase the pony but the pony was too fast and she couldn’t catch the pony.

And Pinkie Pie woke up and Rainbow Dash was gone and then came back and said, “That creepy pony who watches us sleep is too fast for me to catch, and I’m super fast so that pony has to be super duper fast so we have to cheat now!”

So they went to Twilight Sparkle who refused to help because it was stupid so they went to Zecora instead who rhymed a lot and Rainbow Dash got really annoyed but finally Zecora gave them a potion that would combine Rainbow Dash’s awesome speed and Pinkie Pie’s cheating so they could catch the creepy sleep-watching pony.

They took the potion and Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie became one pony with pink fur and a curly rainbow mane who was super fast and also could cheat and be places faster than the fastest pony. So now Rainbow Pie was one pony and could catch the creepy sleep-watching pony. All they needed to do is have a nightmare and then they knew the pony would be there.

Since Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie together is so awesome, what kind of thing could give them nightmares? Only one thing.

Clowns.

So Rainbow Pie went to the circus and met clowns. Also an elephant and a pony who hit lions with a chair which wasn’t very nice so it’s a good thing that Rainbow Pie didn’t bring Fluttershy.

And the clowns were scary so Rainbow Pie had nightmares. Only because of Pinkie Pie’s cheating Rainbow Pie woke up right when Princess Luna was about to show up and they saw the creepy pony who was a lilac pegasus flapping her tongue around. The pegasus was really pretty and had light blue hair with a purple bow in it but the hair wasn’t spiky so it wasn’t Cloud Chaser.

The pony was Flitter!

Rainbow Pie zoomed out of the room to catch up to Flitter but she was too fast and so Rainbow Pie had to cheat but that’s what Pinkie Pie is good at if you’re talking about the laws of physics but not games because Pinkie Pie doesn’t cheat at games because if you cheat at games then it’s not fun even if you win.

But this wasn’t a game. This was life and death. Sleep and dreams. Nightmares and flappy tongues.

Then because of Pinkie Pie’s cheating powers Rainbow Pie caught up to Flitter who was standing over Twilight Sparkle who was mumbling about quesadillas and cheese and crying in her sleep. Rainbow Pie tackled Flitter but Flitter’s tongue flopped all over and got in Rainbow Pie’s ear and then Rainbow Pie fell asleep.

Princess Luna was very confused when Rainbow Pie showed up and stepped in cheese because the world was made of cheese and there was cheese everywhere and Twilight was crying. Princess Luna said, “You’re not part of Twilight’s nightmare!”

Then Twilight said, “She is now! What is that thing?”

So Rainbow Pie said, “It’s me, Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie! We caught the creepy pony who watches everypony sleep.”

Princess Luna said, “We have to talk.”

And they were in the library again and everypony was awake and Twilight sat up and pointed at Rainbow Pie and screamed, “OH GOD IT’S REAL!”

Rainbow Pie rubbed her ear where it was wet from being licked by Flitter and looked around because Flitter was gone again!

Princess Luna said, “Okay, Flitter, you can come out.”

Flitter came out of nowhere just like Pinkie Pie did all the time except everypony could see Pinkie Pie because she wasn’t super fast like Flitter is. Flitter’s tongue kept flopping around everywhere and made a wet slapping noise and just looked really weird and Rainbow Pie kept staring and kind of wanted to poke it but remembered how weird it was when it went in her ear so she didn’t poke it.

Princess Luna said, “This is Flitter. Her tongue is the real power behind saving ponies from nightmares.”

Twilight said, “But she’s not even a princess and you are a princess so why don't you have the power?”

Flitter flapped her tongue around as if she wanted to lick all the things and Rainbow Pie wasn't sure it was a bad idea. Princess Luna said, “It was always Flitter’s power and not mine that saved ponies from their nightmares like the singing flowers and the cheese world and all the other bad things but she was so fast that until now nopony ever saw her so nopony noticed that she had to lick sleeping ponies so I could enter their nightmares to banish the bad dreams so they could have good dreams and not bad dreams.”

Rainbow Pie said, “Oh so Flitter’s licking power saves everypony from their nightmares? But why did she stick her tongue in my ear?”

“That’s how the power works Rainbow Pie,” said Princess Luna. “That’s why she is super fast so nopony can see her. She is like pony Santa Claus but for bad dreams instead of presents because she has to visit so many ponies every night to save them from their bad dreams instead of giving them presents.”

Twilight Sparkle clutched the sheets closer to her chest and screamed, “PLEASE MAKE IT GO AWAY!”

Princess Luna said, “Okay, fine.” And turned Rainbow Pie back into Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie and then Twilight Sparkle stopped freaking out and was happy to have her friends back and Rainbow Dash was okay sleeping now that she knew that Flitter was licking her in her sleep to protect her from nightmares and Pinkie Pie was happy to have her second cake and Princess Luna kept everypony safe from their dreams because Flitter was still able to lick everypony when they had nightmares so Princess Luna could save them from their bad dreams.

THE END

Comments ( 27 )

1/1
Top Kek
--IGN

OK
This read weird and fast.
But it was very amusing.

Hap

6413034 I'm glad it was amusing. I really had no idea how it would turn out.

I tried to read this and hurt myself. What?

Hap

6427653 Just imagine how much pain I had to endure in order to write it! The sacrifices we make for The Great LickyFlitter will be rewarded in the Lickylife.

Flitter can protect me from nightmares any time, if you know what I'm saying? :raritywink:
Hmm... I wonder if Cloudchaser ever has nightm-- *slaps self* Bad. You are bad.

Hap

7055256 You know those nights when you wake up and your pillow is wet because you were drooling? You weren't drooling. The great Licky Flitter was protecting you from nightmares. She protects us all.

This is refreshing knowing why the liquid keeps appearing in my ears. I thought it had something to do with the spiders, but thankfully I'm wrong.

The faster you read this the funnier it gets.

Hap

7297590 Ha! That is true.

You're a good man, doing God's work.

So they went to Twilight Sparkle who refused to help because it was stupid

This is my favorite part

Nevermind, go to my facebook link https://www.facebook.com/bryan.chandler.125?hc_ref=NEWSFEED I'm livestreaming this there.

You were right. This is a random, dumb fun story. And that's the best kind of random fun. I'm glad I read it.

7893035
Jesus I must have been high

Hap

7893035
Well, I tried to watch/listen to that. Like, way back when.

I thought it was a joke. That the entire video was you trying to set up the video, and as soon as you hit stream, it ended.

Was that... unintentional?

8358647
I'm guessing either it was that my computer is unbearably slow or that the Internet was unbearably bad. Anyway my latest story has Latisse litter in the very end of it so that group now has three stories in it.

Fucking voice to text does some weird things. Lick he flitter

6517212
I did not do this.

Oh, I never left a comment here! I'm but a mere visitor to this big scary world and once in a while I return to this holy place in search of divine wisdom and wholesomeness. This is the answer to all my prayers.

ROBCakeran53
Moderator

But this wasn’t a game. This was life and death. Sleep and dreams. Nightmares and flappy tongues.

I'm dead.

Also, I love imagining Twilight's panic is also because she's seeing all of this from the outside, the fast paced writing and run on sentences of a story and she's trapped in it.

What in Celestia's name did I just read?!:rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh::rainbowlaugh:
OMC that was so raw written that I just had to keep going without stopping, this was too randomly confusing!
Also have Rainbow Dash and Pinkie Pie fuse into Rainbow Pie? Yes please!:pinkiehappy::rainbowkiss: Nowadays we say Pinkie Dash but this still goes as valid back 9 years ago:pinkiesmile::twilightsmile:

But in all honesty, this kinda just like blew my mind in some spots lol:rainbowlaugh:

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