• Published 31st Aug 2015
  • 3,882 Views, 27 Comments

Million Bits, But... - Tank Drill



The mane six have a sleep over at the castle, where Spike decides to play a game that he came up with. They were at first confused about it, but when they learn about what they would do for a million bits might make them crazy.

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The Game That Last For One Round

"Did you get all the supplies for tonight Pinkie?" I asked.

She nodded hurriedly, looking slightly exasperated, "For the last time Twi-Twi! I got enough food and drinks for us to have feed the whole party! Theres only six-er, seven of us!"

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive!"

"Alright, let's get the sleepover started then."

"Okie Doki Loki!" She cheered, hopping into the castle with her supplies.

I close the castle door behind me once Pinkie was inside and locked the door. I then made my way towards the Throne Room or, as Spike would call it, The Mares of the Round Table room. It had been awhile since the seven of us hung out together and what way to do it, having a sleepover at the castle! Everything was going to be perfect, I knew that much. No matter what happens, this sleepover was going to be the best because my friends would be having it with me.

Everypony was busy doing their own thing to make the sleepover special. Applejack brought her apple ingredients to make us dinner and late snacks, Pinkie brought a small amount of candy (requested by me), Rarity brought pillows and blankets for everypony, Fluttershy and Rainbow made sure that everything inside was clean, and I made sure we wouldn't get unexpected guests from the outside by putting an anti-chaos barrier. (I'm looking at you, Discord.)

As for Spike, I gave him the job as The Game King. I wanted to give Spike something to do and The Game King came into my mind. The job is to entertain everypony with a game that they'll like. I gave this job to him the week before and by then, he should have had several games up his sleeve.

"Hey, Twilight," Spike greeted.

'Speak of the drake,' I thought. "Hi Spike, did you come up with fun games for all of us to enjoy?" I asked, curious.

"Oh, even better! I only came up with one game that can last for the entire night!" He boasted, holding one claw to his chest triumphantly.

"Really? Well, I hope you keep your word, Game King."

He chuckled, "I think this game could improve our friendship, which I'm looking forward too."

I smiled, "Great!"

I entered the Throne room and everypony was in their respective seats. The food was separated for all seven of us and I quickly sat on my seat as my assistant did as well.

Once we were all there, we all began to chow down and talk about our daily lives.

Applejack raised enough money to fix the barn door, which had been amateurly built by one of her cousins.

Rarity just finished her line of dresses for the summer, the theme being ‘Sunny Days’.

Fluttershy opened a small animal sanctuary for wildlife that, quote unquote, ‘just couldn't fit in my cottage’.

Pinkie Pie had been making new pastries for Sugarcube Corner, and Rainbow Dash finally got accepted into the Wonderbolts (hence why we're having a sleepover to celebrate).

Spike was able to grow a small pair of wings (which weren't ready to fly just yet) and I have finally filled my castle with enough books and furniture to make it feel more like home. All seven of us finished dinner as Spike got off of his chair to stand on the crystal table.

"Now as you mare's know, I am The Game King for tonight's entertainment."

"Oh~ Spikey Wikey is going to give us a game to play?" Rarity cooed.

Spike held his composure (somewhat) and cleared his throat, "Y-Yes. The game, by the end of the night, your friendship could improve."

"Is it an appropriate game?" Fluttershy asked.

"Well... Sort of. It's kind of rated for teenagers and above," He confirmed.

"Heh, I kind of like the sound of the rating," Rainbow commented.

"What game are we playing, anyhow?" Applejack asked.

"I was getting to that. The game we're going to be playing until the middle of the night is called 'Million Bits, But...’," He exclaimed.

I tilted my head, "Million Bits, But?"

"Did somepony say bits?" Applejack asked.

"Million Bits, But... This is a game about a million bits and butts?" Fluttershy blushed.

Spike shook his head as soon as the question was asked, "No! That's not it!"

"Then do please explain, Spike." Rarity held her hooves together, looking intrigued.

Spike sighed to calm down, "Now the game is simple; We take turns on giving everyone an offer of a million bits, BUT there is a condition that will probably make you turn down the offer. Of course when you give the million bits and the condition, you can't have the million bits and the condition you made, that would be cheating."

"It's a game where you're given a million bits, though there are conditions to take it?" Applejack asked.

Spike nodded.

"So it's a scenario game?" I asked.

He nodded again.

Rainbow smirked, "This just got interesting."

He smirked as well, "I'll start first to get things started. Then we'll start from Twilight, who’ll be second, to Rainbow Dash who is last."

"Aw, yeah! Best for last!" Rainbow cheered.

Spike continued, "It will give everypony a chance to think about their condition when they give away the million bits."

He air quoted million bits.

"Now here is my question to all of you: You get a million bits, but each and every time you hear the 'Happy Birthday' song, you have to go to the cake that they're serving and eat it all."

Everyone stared at Spike with wide eyes, especially Pinkie Pie. "What?!" Everyone in unison shouted.

"Now, now this is just a game. Would you accept the million bits if it were that condition for the rest of your life?" I asked.

Pinkie raised her hoof and Spike sighed, "You don't have to raise your hoof to be called."

"Oh I know, but it would be super rude to eat somepony else's cake! Though, there are a million bits on the line… Gah! I just can't decide!" Pinkie yelled, tugging on her hair.

Rarity frowned, "I don't think I would accept it. Even though I do admittedly love some sweets every now and then, it just seems too much, and it would be awfully rude."

Applejack nodded, “Ah agree with Rares, it would be rude to jes’ eat somepony’s cake like that.”

"I would accept it!" Pinkie and Rainbow shouted.

"Now hold on here! We're talking when you hear a random Happy Birthday song. The birthday colt or filly might get upset. If that is what happens then I won't accept it."

"Come on!" Rainbow shouted, "A million bits can pay off a small cake like that. Besides, it would be a pretty funny prank."

I raised an eyebrow, "How so?”

"Say you accept the condition, and you're in your library, but I come in with a huge birthday cake and sing Happy Birthday to you. Then you’d have to eat the whole thing!" She snickered, "Plus it doesn't have to be your birthday at all!"

Spike snickered a bit, but I cleared my throat, "As much as I would like to eat cake, I think Celestia would do it without the million Bits." Everyone stared at me in shock, "What? It's true! Anyway, I don't accept the million bits."

"I don't think it's nice at all... So, no..." Fluttershy said aloud.

"Twilight, you're next," Spike pointed at me.

"Give us something that all of us would want to turn down that million bits!" Rainbow dared.

I tapped my hoof against my chin and I smirked when it came to me, "Not only you get a million bits, you also get the world's greatest dog. It can do anything for you and even can talk to you."

"That sounds amazing dear... What's the catch?" Rarity wondered.

I smiled, "You can see and feel the dog, but no pony else can see your dog."

'I love playing some mind games,' I thought giggling internally.

"’Sounds like a mind game to me.... So do we keep the million bits if we ignore the dog?" Applejack asked.

I nodded, "Yes, it would become a regular dog, though."

"I can't imagine the advantages to this, but to have a dog Opal can't see could be quite the treat." Rarity tapped the table.

"Eh," Spike grunted, "I don't want to be seen as a crazy dragon."

Fluttershy shook her head, "I don't mind a talking dog in my cottage, but he or she would have to stay inside... I would take it!"

"Ah already have Winona, so… no." Applejack responded.

"I would take it, Twilight, darling." Rarity said.

"I'm good, Twilight," Rainbow stretched, "Besides, Pinkie does that all the time."

I looked at Pinkie and Rainbow did the same, "You do?"

She nodded, "Yeppers!" Then she gasped, "I would also take the million bits for that condition!"

I shook my head and pointed towards the orange pony beside me, "Applejack, you're next."

"Hmmm..." Then she tapped her hoof against the table, "Y'all get a million bits, but every single bit ya spend ya have to lick it."

"Oh! Sweet Celestia!" Rarity cried.

Rainbow snickered, "That's a lot of bits to lick."

I spoke up, "Does it have to be both sides?"

"Eeyup," Applejack confirmed.

I could hear Rarity making gagging noises in the background. Applejack definitely got under Rarity's fur with that one.

"I for one, most certainly do not want a disease from those bits. I wouldn't take it Applejack, it's just too much," Rarity stated.

"Good." She looked around the table, "Anypony else?"

"No." Fluttershy said.

"No thank you." I said.

"I would take it, it's only a million bits, and how hard can it be?" Rainbow said.

"If the bits were gems, then I would have considered it. But, their not, so no," Spike said.

"I think bits are delicious! If you put sugar on it! Of course, I would take it!" Pinkie exclaimed.

Applejack tipped her hat to the fashionista beside her, "You're next, Rares."

She sighed to calm herself down and smiled, "Now here's my scenario; you get a million bits, but every time you forget something, it disappears instantly into thin air."

"Gah...." Applejack grunted.

"Can I clarify something?" Spike asked.

"Of course Spikey Wikey."

He gulped, "Does this work for ponies? Say for example I'm just minding my own business and said 'I forgot who the main nurse at the Ponyville hospital is.'"

The fashionista shook her head, "Oh, goodness no. It only works for objects."

"I say no instantly because I forget a lot of things." Rainbow admitted.

"So, what you're saying," Applejack spoke, "Is that when ya say’Ah forgot about so and so’, it’ll disappear?"

Rarity nodded.

"Well, that's a definite nope from me," The farm pony said.

Rarity smirked at her response, but Spike interrupted.

"I don't want let any of my belongings to disappear, so no, not for a million bits," Spike sighed.

"Besides!" Pinkie shouted, "If you forgot where the million bits where, they would be gone!"

Everypony snickered at the idea that they would have forgotten their million bits.

"I don't want to lose any of my animal supplies, sorry Rarity, I don't want to take it." Fluttershy apologized.

"It's no trouble, my dear friend." Rarity said.

"I would take it." I said.

"That's right. You keep track of everything." Spike claimed.

"When was the last thing you forgotten something?" Rainbow asked.

"Um.... I forget?" I smiled.

They chuckled and I joined them. It had become a great game and it looked like things were going to get better with Pinkie Pie.

"Your turn Pinkie Pie," Rarity waved her hoof towards her.

"I got a funny one!" Pinkie cheered, "You get a million bits, but every time you use an item, it says what it is. Say you're using a quill on a paper, Twilight, and it says repeatedly, Quill, Quill, Quill, Quill and Paper, Paper, Paper, Paper!”

"No!" Rarity, Fluttershy, Applejack and I shouted at the same time.

"Oh... Why is that?" Pinkie asked.

The fashionista spoke, "I use material and tools to get my dresses done and I don't want to hear anything while I'm in the zone."

"True." Pinkie tapped her hoof against her chin, "Twilight?

"I want silence every once in awhile," I admitted.

"Same as Rarity, I don't want to be annoyed." Fluttershy said.

"Me neither." Applejack crossed her hooves.

"I'll take it, I'll just put earplugs in my ears." Rainbow smirked.

"Wouldn't the earplugs speak as well?" Spike asked.

Her eyes widened, "On second thought, never mind... I wouldn't take it."

"I for one will take it; because I think it would be funny." Spike said.

My ear twitched, "How so?"

"Say you have an apple and it was saying what it was repeatedly and you put it to a juicer. Apple, Apple-juice!" Spike chuckled.

"That's funny! I didn't think of that!" Pinkie smiled.

He continued, "Also, I would think that some objects would say their names softly, like a pillow, a bed, and a blanket. The sound of soft noises would get me to sleep faster."

Everypony seemed to accept Spike's idea of the good things about that scenario and Pinkie nodded off to Fluttershy.

"You get a million bits, but for one year, and you have a choice whether you want to extend it or not, you get pushed in a stroller by a muscular stallion." Fluttershy explained.

*POMF* I looked at my wings. Rainbow’s and my wings were stiff. I sighed internally and closed them.

"So anywhere you go, the stallion has to follow? What if you're in bed at night?" Rarity asked.

"Oh, he has his own bed next to yours," She said.

"I would take it!" Rainbow shouted without thinking.

"What’s the matter, Rainbow? Getting too lonely at night?" Applejack snickered.

Dash blushed, "Hey! I don't have anything better to do!"

"My, my, it seems like somepony wants an advantage with this scenario," Rarity giggled.

Rainbow growled and Pinkie spoke, "It would be very funny to be pulled and pushed on a stroller around by a stallion."

"No offense Fluttershy, but I don't want to take it." Spike said waving his hands.

"Sorry Fluttershy, I love to be alone and not have some random stallion sleeping in the same room." I explained.

"Oh... Ok, that's fine." She turned to Rarity and Applejack, "How about you then?"

"Nope, sorry Flutters." Applejack said.

"I'll take it! If he'll flex all the muscles when I'm sad. Besides it's only for one year and I have an option to extend it or not," Rarity said.

I glanced at Spike and he was trying to flex his muscles, but there was nothing but scales. He sighed and I reassured him by putting my hoof on his shoulder. He looked at me and smiled, he knew it was just a game, but he knew what to do to impress Rarity... Maybe.

"Alright Dash, don't disappoint us… Unless you want to, that is..." Fluttershy said.

"Aw, yeah!" Rainbow threw her hooves in the air, "You all get a million bits, but for one year, once a month, you have to date King Sombra."

There was silence in the room, no pony let off a sound. 'What? ... What?!' My mind tried to process this and once it reboot back to the problem at hand I slammed my hooves on the table.

"Rainbow! Why would you come up something like that?!" I shouted.

She chuckled, "It's just a game Twilight."

"We know!" Everypony shouted in unison.

"Alright, alright, sorry for bringing it up. Geez," She said.

I sighed, "If that would happen, then I'll be calling the shots. I'll say; 'If we're going to make this work, then I make the decisions around here.'"

"What if he asked to make a set of stairs?" Spike asked.

I shook my head, "Hay no!"

Rainbow snickered and so did Spike. I realized that this was all for good fun and tried to hold in my snickers with a serious look.

Fluttershy spoke up, "How about going up north?" She hinted at the Crystal Empire.

Pinkie snorted, getting the joke while Rarity tried to hold her laughter.

"Nope!" I raised my head in the air, trying not to chuckle.

Rainbow smirked, "Maybe we can go 'crystal' mining?"

Applejack couldn't hold back the snickers and burst out laughing. Everypony did as well, but it soon died down to the decision.

"Overall, I wouldn't want the million bits, I do not want to spend any time with Sombra." I said.

"Yeah, I would agree with that, he was just a big meanie pants." Pinkie stated.

"You said it, he doesn't even deserves somepony like me." Applejack said.

Rarity cleared her throat, "Likewise."

"I don't want my house turned into crystals..." Fluttershy whispered.

"Don't want to date a stallion so it's an automatic nope from me." Spike explained and continued, "Does anypony want to do another round?"

With that everyone avoided the question, their eyes straying away from Spike and I knew that everypony didn't want to go for another round.

I glanced at the clock, it was around 10:30, "Oh! Would you look at the time! It's time for bed!" I exclaimed.

Everypony got the hint, they yawned, stretched and said goodnight to one another. They headed out the throne room to their individual rooms and I looked at Spike who looked confused.

"Let's go to bed," I said.

"Sombra killed the game didn't it?" He asked.

I sighed, "Yes, very much so."

"Alright, I'll accept it, but we'll play another game tomorrow morning?"

I nuzzled his cheek, "Yes, I'm sure everypony would like it. You did a great job being The Game King."

He chuckled, "Thanks."

He gave me a hug and I hugged him back. Then we headed out of the throne room to our individual rooms to end the day.

Author's Note:

In case if your wondering where I got the scenarios from, they're from Rooster Teeth - Million Dollars, but... I used the questions and kind of put them in a parody into this one shot. Hope you guys like it!

*Edit: Script is editing my stories and it's a lot better than it was before.

Comments ( 26 )

How odd? that I watched all of the "Million dollars but" earlier... either way thumbs up

Sequel please.

Not bad. There are some spelling issues that you might want to have someone take a look at.

For example:

I wanted to have Spike to have something to do

sounds really odd. "I wanted to give Spike something to do" flows much better, though I'm not saying to go with what I said, just that you might want to look some stuff over. Like the dog one, I don't understand what the condition for that one is, thanks to the weird phrasing.

"A million bits, but once a month for a year, you have to go out on a nice date with King Sombra."

And then at the end of the year, he dies of heartbreak.

Man, I cannot believe that this crossover exists. I love it!

It does annoy me slightly that you didn't think of many original Million bit, buts?
A lot of them were straight from the series.

6380396

*Checked on Microsoft word, then other grammar/spelling websites* :twilightblush: It should be all good! :twilightsmile:

I think some of the sentences could be reworked, but it's quite nice.

In Spikes bedroom: A small black tendril exited Spikes head, before saying quite softly, "Soon."

6381289

While that sentence is technically correct (at least in colloquial terms), it does sound weird due to the repetition. I second the change.

I entered the Throne room and everypony was in their respected seats.

Cap.
_____________

Spike continued, "It will give everypony a chance to think about their condition when they give away the million bits."

Indent.
_________________

"What? It's true! Besides, I don't accept the million Bits."

"Give us something that all of us would want to turn down that million Bits!"

"OH Sweet Celestia!" Rarity cried.

lower case
______________________

I smiled, "You can see and feel the dog, but no pony can't see your dog." 'I love playing some mind games.' I thought giggling internally.

can
______________________

"I would take it, it's only a million bits, and how hard can it take?" Rainbow said.

what's that supposed to mean? 'How hard can it take?'
__________________


Other than some errors here and there, this was pretty decent. I'll have to watch the "Million Bits, but ..." thing, sounds like it'd be fun to watch.

I'm surprised there was nothing sexual, except for the muscular stallions pushing around strollers. Those pegasi have daddy issues.

Ok the idea was interesting, but everything fell apart when I started reading the scenarios.You basically stole every single idea from rooster teeth's videos, without coming up with a singular original scenario.

6385718

I was hoping that you've come to that. I want this to be a gateway for people that don't know about Rooster Teeth. Plus, can you blame me for having dyslexia? I can only rely my grammar correction program and Microsoft Word, so I can do only so much.

6385644

Checked and fixed! Thanks for the construction spelling corrections! :rainbowkiss:

I would love to see a sequel to this.

6409593
I'm thinking about it... :trixieshiftright:

"Can I clarify something?" Spike asked.
"Of course Spikey Wikey."
He gulped, "Does this work for ponies? Say for example I'm just minding my own business and said 'I forgot who the main nurse at the Ponyville hospital.'"

So there's Twilight, Rainbow Dash, Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Fluttershy, and...who was it again?

How about the game "Would You Rather"?

I HAVE AN IDEA!! :raritystarry: You should make a sequel, but have it be a different group of ponies. Like have it use some background characters or maybe the princesses. That would be SO amazing!

I was so hopping that some of the more "Adult" scenarios would come up.....would have been funny if some how the RT crew ended up there playing the game so we'd get the more WTF scenarios. :rainbowlaugh:

that and the ponies reacting to the human versions of their scenarios and vice-versus

I expected more out of this... The game is great and all, but this is a one-to-one copy of the show, asking exactly the same questions. Downvote dispensed for spoiling the concept for this context. If you upload another chapter that's actually original feel free to contact me to get it turned into an upvote, but for now I am extremely disappointed in this fic.

7112431

A One-shot story about a game from Rooster Teeth. The scenarios from the show are being used in the MLP Universe. For those who don't know about Rooster Teeth, I highly recommend you to watch.

Just in case you haven't read the summary. lol

7113161
I jumped right into the story without reading that. If I had, I wouldn't have read it. As it stands, the existing chapter is still offensive on a creative level, and I can't exactly get rid of a downvote without giving it an upvote. For me this story still deserves a downvote more than an upvote, so it remains.

This story has potential. The game seems like it would be a fairly fun game to play. However, I didn't find the story funny, and some elements of humor seemed rather forced, such as Twilight's and Rainbow Dash's wings at the mention of being pushed around in a stroller by a muscular stallion. Are you implying that they both have a fetish for paraphilic infantism (a sexual fetish of being regressed to a baby like state in a role playing situation), or are they literally that easily turned on by the mere mention of muscular stallions that they are popping wing boners all the time? The entire event just seems rather forcefully used.

Something I also had trouble with is the mentioning that Spike has wings and then that was never talked about, or used again the entire time. What was the point of that?

Rainbow Dash was also mentioned to have already joined the Wonderbolts and that the purpose of the sleep over was to celebrate this (why not have it at Rainbow Dash's house then? I'll come back to this.). Twilight already had alicorn status and the castle too, which could put this at season 5 where Dash is a reserve Wonderbolt, but most likely to be season 6 when she was officially entered in as a full time Wonderbolt. I guess I'm pointing this out because I don't understand if you are trying to give a time frame of when this story occurred, or what is going on with it because it is rather redundant to point out, and then never mention again. There's not even a celebratory banner. Plus, I think they already threw a party for Rainbow Dash after becoming a full-time Wonderbolt in season 6, at her house.

Final nit pick. Why is it in the Throne Room of Twilight's Castle? Of all the places to host games for a sleepover celebration, why is it taking place in the most serious of serious rooms within the castle? That's like throwing a baby shower within the White House Operations Center. I'm sure with the Castle being a Castle, very large that Starlight gets lost in it a few times that it's become a running gag for her, that there is some sort of appropriate lounge/game room for such activities, in a Castle. And why not Rainbow Dash's house (where they actually did one), or somewhere else? Camping out at Sweet Apple Acres (Rarity has been camping before and lived out of a barn as well during a trip, so it won't be a problem for her), for example.

For the actual game it just... It wasn't funny. The dialogue felt rather forced and Twilight's character felt out of place as well. I feel like these were lines that the characters were scripted to say, and not that it was coming out naturally. Plus, I know it sounds weird, and I honestly don't know why I have these expectations. But I was disappointed to find out that there was no use of alcohol (minor would be fine, they don't need to get all smashed), nor was there anything sexual asked. I understand if you were trying to keep more into the spirit or in line with the show. If so, then why the wing boner part, and why does Spike have wings that can't be used?


So in short, there are some nit picks that bother me, probably doesn't bother others. There's some redundancies and out of character moments, and fluff (spikes wings) that was introduced but had no purpose. Other comments indicate that this drew too heavily from the inspired material, I don't know, I only watch RWBY from Rooster Teeth any more. It would have been better to use original thought up content, then using the questions from the game show from Rooster Teeth. It wasn't funny. I snorted maybe once, out of disbelief that the wing boners was so forcefully used. I didn't hate the story, but I didn't love it either.

8153946 There's one [art of that comment that catches my eye, you said the map room was the most serious of serious rooms, but it is seen in Rainbow Rocks that the mane 6 are relaxing there, but I agree with almost everything else, though I still do quite like the story.

8160408
Oh. I haven't seen Rainbow Rocks yet.

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