George Bush Invades Equestria

by Krass McWriter

Or, The Hnnng heard round the world.

George Bush Invades Equestria

By Krass McWriter

I don't think I can get in trouble for bashing an expresident...

"The world was watching as President George Bush declared that America would be invading Equestria on suspicions of harboring and developing large quantities of WCs, or Weaponized Cuteness. The declaration was in response to when earlier this year when a pony named Fluttershy cried on national television and shared pictures of her as a filly. Thousands of hearts gave out as the D'awww factor, a measurement of cuteness, surpassed the lethality level and soared well into the nine thousands."

-_-_-_-_-

"My fellow Americans, two months ago our neighboring nation of Equestria demonstated that they have and are willing to deploy weaponized cuteness resulting in the largest loss of American life in recorded history. We have tried contacting their heads of state on this matter to avail. We will have justice, those who lost their lives will not be in vain."

-_-_-_-_-

"Princess Celestia, what are your thoughts on Americas invasion to find and eliminate any and all cuteness weapon systems?"

"Weaponized Cuteness? Surely you jest."

"What about the thousands of heart attacks when Fluttershy, a pony you are familiar with, shared pictures from her fillyhood?"

"... No comment."

-_-_-_-_-

"Get on the fifty cal Sluder! Johnsons, you two hold that line! Where's Gerber?!"

"He's dead sergeant!"

"Dead?! The fuck happened?!"

"A colt asked him if he wanted a lollipop!"

"Sweet fucking jesus!"

"He was dressed as pirate and a British accent and everything!"

"MOTHER. OF. GOD. Wheres my damn machine gun?! Sluder, what in the fuck?!"

"I cant 't pull the trigger, they're too damn cu- Hnnng!"

"FUCK! We lost Sluder!"

They're wearing SOCKS! Avert your eyes!"

-_-_-_-_-

"The initial force took heavy causalities today as they dropped into a school for young fillies and colts. The few survivors have been diagnosed with diabetes and sent home. Sir, what was it like on the initial push?"

"T-there were socks everywhere... Fillies preening... Playing tag. I-it was too adorable."

"Tragic. In related news, the armed forces is changing the criteria taught in training to help boost tolerance to high d'awww levels."

"Alright joes, today you're going to look at pictures of little fillies wearing socks preening each other. We have medics on standby with insulin and a defibrillator just in case."

" You lot are going to watch videos of progressively cute things, starting at a mother cat taking care of her newborn kittens and moving up to picture of Princess Luna as a foal with a sock on her head."

"As you can see, the training is grueling but nonetheless necessary if there is to be any hope of removing the cute weapons from Equestria."

-_-_-_-_-

"Thank you. Thank you all so very much.

"Admiral Keith, Captain Picard, officers and sailors of the USS Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer. My fellow Americans, major combat operations in Iraq have ended. In the battle of Equestria, the United States and our allies have prevailed.

"And now our coalition is engaged in securing that country.

"In this battle, we have fought for the cause of hamburgers and for the diabetics of the world. Our nation and our coalition are proud of this accomplishment, yet it is you, the members of the United States military, who achieved it. Your courage, your willingness to face diabetes inducing adorableness for your country and for each other made this day possible.

"Operation Princess Woona was carried out with a combination of precision and speed and boldness the enemy did not expect and the world had not seen before.

"Marines and soldiers charged to Equestria across 200 meters of hostile ground into a land of where the d'awww factor soars well above the healthy rate. You have shown the world the skill and the might of the American armed forces.

"Now Imma go get a cheeseburger, you're all dismissed or whatever."

-_-_-_-_-

"This just in, our President is an idiot."

-_-_-_-_-

"The conflict in Equestria came to an end today when President Bush and Princess Celestia signed a treaty to avoid the release of a collection of photo albums portraying the youths of Equestria. Sources say it contains pictures of preening, 'noming', playing with beach balls, and hugging clouds amongst other things. The negotiation originally just called for a cease fire, but President Bush offered Hawaii to them in exchange for a pony back ride on Rainbow Dash. Celestia declined the offer. However, Rainbow Dash drew up a personal agreement with the President and is now Queen Awesome of Super Cool and Totally Radical Islands, formerly Hawaii. The despondent refugees are now stinking up Mexico and souther California

"The agreement reached limits any individual pony's d'awww factor may not exceed that of a fluffy kitten attacking a laser pointer. In return, America would make a vegetarian bacon that tastes like actual bacon and that Daniel Tosh is no longer classified as a comedian.

"There is much celebration in the streets, because people love having a reason to drink, it makes them feel like they aren't alcoholics. Lets ask a passerby what he thinks. Sir, what are your opinions on the end of the war?"

"Holy shit, I'm on tv yo! Man, I think its like cool and shit that the war ended dawg."

"Well there you have it. The war lasted three weeks, claiming six hundred and ninety three US Soldiers and Marines. There will be a memorial erected next month in memory of those lost. We will remember their sacrifice for freedom, justice, liberty and vegetarian bacon."

*-_-_-_-_-* AUTHOR'S NOTES *-_-_-_-_-*

This is without a doubt THE SINGLE most RIDICULOUS IDEA I have ever had in my entire life yet acted upon it.

Fun fact: George bush's 2nd speech is a modified version of the actual Mission Accomplished speech.

Funner Fact: The Iraq war ended nine years after and pertains most of the causalities.

I am an Infantryman in the US Army.

Comments

[Krass McWriter]

I REGRET NOTHING

[Shefira]

i.imgur.com/ewJBW.gif
This is friggin priceless

[Mimicry]

This may be the single greatest.

[MintyRest]

Spelling errors? Some.
But I find I don't really care all that much, so it's a very effective story.

[Chatoyance]

D'awwwwww.... URK.

[Meliron]

This...

I have no words. Suffice to say, I laughed. Hard.

[daosoman]

quite possibly the most random thing this side of Sheogorath.

[RandomEncounter]

At first I was going to downrate it simply cause of the spelling errors. Then I realized spelling errors and George Bush go hand in hand...

After that, I had to upvote it for sheer accidental accuracy.

[StealthBrony]

Im going to do a reading of this tonight...
I have no choice!

[Keeria]

what did I just

[AppuhCobbler]

George W. Bush invading Equestria? Sounds like him

[Da Bunnana King]

Krass, this is fucking AMMAZING! But it's missing pony Steve Irwin.

[the other sans]

This... This is...
google.com.my/imgres?hl=en&biw=1366&bih=639&gbv=2&tbm=isch&tbnid=tO7fLj0av1nogM:&imgrefurl=http://zhenglik.blogspot.com/2012/03/troll-face.html&docid=m_CNifqVcSqcxM&imgurl=http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-CvudXaiCeKk/T1aV7kJSB2I/AAAAAAAADQE/M24nMEczXBE/s1600/jackie-chan-wtf.png&w=401&h=289&ei=A_21T4XZKtDnrAfV9rD0Bw&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=114&vpy=149&dur=1362&hovh=191&hovw=265&tx=193&ty=96&sig=103869283440579272835&page=1&tbnh=124&tbnw=172&start=0&ndsp=22&ved=1t:429,r:0,s:0,i:70

I have no proper words to say for this...

[SwiperTheFox]

sadpanda.us/images/608275-Z2E6G87.png

*thumbs up for the total insanity*

[nonameguy0010]

My god... I'm cracking up and I haven't even read any of the chapter yet... this should be VERY interesting.

[nonameguy0010]

Wowwww..... It might be the fact that I was reading this at 4:30am, but this was the funniest story I have ever read. Trying not to laugh up a lung was a tough task.

"Admiral Keith, Captain Picard, officers and sailors of the USS Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer." This quote was deserving of multiple facepalms.

Aghhhh please write more stories of this caliber and you will make it big very soon.

Now if you will excuse me, I have to go cough up the blood that laughing so hard caused.

[Your Antagonist]

America

[a3V]

4.bp.blogspot.com/-9QjARWd5a84/T3OXHJJbe1I/AAAAAAAAA34/OVtLNvwpMvI/s1600/nod-of-approval.gif

[Krass McWriter]

609738
609955
Some are unintentional, But most I left in there for this very reason. Random fics can have subtle humor.

[GAPDashie]

Priceless!

[Glare]

xD
dl.dropbox.com/u/31471793/FiMFiction/Luna_lolface.png

[Glare]

inb4featured.

[Krass McWriter]

610870
Pfffft

I'll believe it when it happens.

[Krass McWriter]

609861

"Chay is down! We need insulin stat!"

[roman117]

"USS Abraham Lincoln Vampire Slayer."

If I join the navy I want to be stationed on that ship.

[EpslionBear]

"He's dead sargeant!"
"Dead?! The fuck happened?!"
"A colt asked him if he wanted a lollipop!"
"Sweet fucking jesus!"
"He was dressed as priate and a british accent and everything!"

That maybe the best Combat dialogue I have ever read

[StealthBrony]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zyTdTWNzHSI&feature=BFa&list=UL81Xs5tcKMeE Ta daaaa... Told you I would do it!

[Alphaetus_Prime]

Weaponized Cuteness? That's what you went for, when they have The Stare, the Atomic Rainnuke, and Pinkie Pie? Those should be classified as regular ol' WMDs.

[Lock Target]

...Okay...WHAT DID YOU PUT IN THAT CUPCAKE!?

[Ocean Breeze]

[Insert funny and original comment here]

[AegisExemplar]

Caution: the preceding story contains material rated C for cureness levels not suitable for viewers over the age of twelve.

[Morgie93]

This is too rich! I love your work, man.

[Frost]

609459 Where'd you get the Colbert gif?

[VaporingRat]

One of the funniest and realistic stories I have ever read. You sir, get a fav and a thumbs up!

Also, great portrayal of Bush. He is an idiot. Period.

[RoadRunneR]

I got nothing else to say.

[Midnightshadow]

This is glorious levels of silly. I appro- HRRKKK

[King Trollestia]

Rainbow dash as queen of hawaii I can see it now.

[Microshazm]

Ha, cuteness... Everybody knows human males are immune t-

[Ocean Breeze]

615510

GET THE INSULIN!

[NotABrony]

poniiz r awesum

[CrimsonLance]

My sides are hurting from how much I laughed from this.

[izcheesyponeh]

I lol'd so hard when I saw the title.

[Railyn]

*reads through previous comments*
God, it's like Candle Jack, except with p

[Menoshe]

lolwut

[Erac]

Wait, don't say his name! If you say Candle Jack He'll come t-. . .

[perfectgore]

I can see Bush actually doing this.

2. Your an Infantry man? If this is true please forgive me, I totally thought you were a women.

3. Spetznaz are still better.

[perfectgore]

1 more thing, Trixie is best Pony.

[AverageMemory]

609437 INDEED YOU SHOULDN'T!

[Mazamis]

So if what you said is true, how did it feel to swear your loyalty to this biggest retard our country put in charge.
Also, what if bush is a brony and is reading this...

652541 lol i don't get it. who is Candle Jack? Like where di-

[Krass McWriter]

693914

I came in late 2009