Not What I Expected
In the royal sisters private meeting room. Princesses Celestia and Luna stared speechlessly at the only evidence of Trixie's disappearance. A burn mark on the floor.
Luna said, "Zounds! I did not expect to see that with mine own eyes."
Celestia said, "Indeed."
Luna jerked up. "Well I must take my leave! It is my turn to welcome Equestria's newest alicorn." She started to cast a spell, her horn glowing. "You might want to fetch Twilight. I am sure that she will want to be here." She turned into a dark starry mist. Which collapsed upon itself and then disappeared.
Celestia concentrated and with a flash teleported herself to the skies, high above Ponyville. Opening her wings she glided in a big spiral until she saw the entrance of Princess Twilight's Crystal Castle of Friendship. Teleporting again she appeared in front of its doors. Using her magic, she opened them and ran inside. She soon found Twilight Sparkle in her office dictating a letter to her assistant Spike.
Startled at Celestia's entrance Twilight looked up. "Pr- Celestia what are you doing here?"
"Time sensitive princess business has just come up Twilight." Celestia placed herself above Twilight while facing in the same direction.
"But I-"
"You will want to be a part of this." She turned to Spike. "Twilight will be back in a few hours at the latest Spike." After a moments concentration she teleported herself and Twilight away.
Spike was left staring at the spot where they were. "Huh. Must be a surprise dedication ceremony for an all night pastry shop." He crumpled up the paper he was holding in his claws and threw it into the recycle bin (for loose leaf paper – type scrolls.) "Won't be needing that anymore."
Back at the royal sisters private meeting room, Celestia and Twilight appeared.
"Celestia! What is the meaning of this! I am busy! I have..." She spotted the burn mark on the floor and stared at it.
"to..." At the center a solid black classic 5 point star. At the edge a few fuzzy dots, that going towards the center became more numerous. Eventually they overlaped each other creating a solid dark-grey background.
"find..." Twilight turns to Celestia. "This looks like the burn mark I left behind when I became an alicorn! Only, different. Is this... Trixie's?"
Celestia raised an eyebrow in surprise. "Trixie Lulamoon?"
"Yes!"
"Please tell me Twilight. How did you come to the conclusion that Trixie is connected to that burn mark."
Twilight facehooved. "Urg." She took a deep breath and released it. "Well..."
Trixie looked around herself. Through the haze, she only saw stars. "Well... This is different." She looked down, she was standing on a path made of stars. She poked at it with her hoof. "Looks like my cutie mark. Only without the wand."
She took a deep breath. "Remain calm Trixie. Do not get excited. This might not be what you want it to be." She looked around some more. "This might be limbo. Trixie might have died in an explosive magical backlash. This might be Trixie's final resting place. Hmp. This is going to get super boring super fast. So, no. Second option! More likely in Trixie's opinion. That Trixie was caught in a minor magical backlash. Thus rendered unconscious and thus Trixie is now dreaming. Why any moment now The Guardian of Dreams, Princess Luna might ap... pear.
"oh."
Princess Luna glided down and landed next to Trixie. “Why do you look so sad my little pony? A moment ago you appeared so lively!”
Staring down and not looking up Trixie said, "I'm dreaming."
"Dreaming?" Luna blinked. "Oh! You were expecting my sister. Fret not. I may be the Princess of Dreams but you are not dreaming. 'Tis merely my turn to welcome Equestria's newest alicorn."
Trixie looked up at Luna. “You mean?”
“Indeed. Today you d-” She blinked. "Did Twilight tell you what my sister told her when she was where you are now?"
"Yes?"
"Tsk. This is most vexing. What is there left for me to say?"
"Do not let that stop you. I am not one to interrupt a show."
Luna smiled. "Still, I would say something of my own." She muttered for a few moments until, "Yes, destiny! Celestia believes that destiny is etched in stone. When Celestia first met Twilight she saw that she was destined for great things. She did not know what that destiny was, only that it was great. She guided her to be able to meet that unknown great destiny. Imagine her surprise as Twilight surpassed her every expectations! Even as the Bearer of the Element of Magic she still had a great destiny ahead of her.”
“Oh, please praise Twilight Sparkle some more.”
“Nay, I have finished. The point I was getting to is that you, unlike Twilight, achieved the same goal by yourself. You saw a goal, you went to it and reached it by yourself. Well, you had help from a few friends, but you asked for that help. You had no mentor. You were not guided. Being an alicorn might be your destiny. But you were the driving force that led you here. In this... astral... incubation realm.” Luna looked around. “We really need to give this place a name. Anyways, you are on the cusp of being reborn, becoming an alicorn. We merely have to wait.”
“Do you have any idea how long?”
Luna looked at her and tilted her head. “Hmm. Now.” Trixie looked down at herself, she was glowing and floating upwards. Rising above Luna. “Fare thee well on your new life, Trixie Lulamoon.” With a flash Trixie was gone.
She reappeared in the royal sisters private meeting room. “I'm baaackoumph!” Trixie found herself on the floor with Twilight above her.
“Where have you been? Are you OK? I was so worried! Wings! You really got wings? Oh wow! Congratulations! That spell! What was that spell that you used? I didn't recognize it! Duh. Of course I didn't recognize it. Tell me! Urk.”
Twilight was magically lifted off Trixie by Celestia. “Now dear, I do not think that is the proper way to welcome Equestria's newest alicorn. I am pretty sure that Gentle Manners' Guide to Etiquette says that one must give somepony a chance to answer a question before asking another.”
Still in Celestia's magical hold Twilight said, “Sorry.” She was gently put down on the floor.
“Trix-” Twilight hesitated as Luna appeared from a starry mist. “Trixie what happened? One moment I was filling out paperwork. The next a blue sphere asked me, with your voice, if I wanted to talk. I said yes and then fizt it was gone. I thought something bad happened to you!”
Trixie scratched the back of her head. “Well, I wanted to become an alicorn. I mean, if you can do it so can I.” Twilight eye rolled at that. “But I was missing something and I came here. Princess Celestia was kind enough to give me the final clue. The power of friendship. So I modified a spell I was working on. Ironically, I was planning on abandoning it. As, on the one hoof, I was concerned that a communication spell was not unique enough. On the other, I could not figure out how to connect to another pony. It turns out I only needed to call on the bonds of friendship. Obvious in hindsight.
“So, I called one of the few ponies I can call friend. You answered and like a switch being thrown I suddenly found myself in a field of stars. Where Princess Luna gave me a most excellent welcome! And now, I am here with feathers growing out of my back.” She rasped out, “The horroooor.”
Princess Celestia stepped forward. “As amusing as this may be. Let me the third to congratulate you on becoming an alicorn Trixie Lulamoon. Or should I say Princess Trixie Lulamoon.”
Trixie squeaked out, “Princess? No! You barely know me! Why would...” She took a deep breath and then said, “While I would make a great princess. Would it not be better to make me a Duchess or Countess instead? I mean there are already three of you. Is that not more than enough?”
Twilight said, “Four.”
“Four?”
“You forgot Princess Cadance.”
“Oh, her. Well that only strengthens my argument. 'Too many chiefs and not enough bisons,' is the saying I believe. Unless Princesses Celestia and Luna become Quee-”
“No!” Celestia coughed. “We are princesses; no more no less.”
“Okaaay, if you insist on giving me peerage, which I do not want, then I think it would be best that I be made something other than a princess. Perhaps a new title dedicated to alicorns. Awesomeness Trixie, I like the sound of that.”
Twilight told Celestia, “If you do that, I suggest some other title than Awesomeness.”
“Oh?” Celestia asked.
Twilight sighed. “I can just see Rainbow Dash trying everything in her power to try to become an alicorn, just to be called Awesomeness Dash. She'll make the Cutie Mark Crusaders look tame by comparison.”
“Zounnnnnnnnnnds,” Luna breathed.
Celestia's lips twitched. “Yes, well. Trixie, you have made a valid argument.” She looked up thinking. “But, no. In the peoples minds, alicorns equal princesses. If we do not make you a princess, there will those who will say that it is because we do not think you are worthy of it. Am I wrong Trixie?”
Trixie scowled. “No.”
“Then you will become a princess. After the coronation we will say that any other alicorn will not automatically become royalty.”
Celestia continued, “However declaring a new alicorn princess so soon after Twilight will be politically tricky. There will be many behind the scenes issues that I will need to manage before an official announcement is made. It will take a week, maybe two. Until then what will we do with you?” Celestia turned to Twilight. “Twilight, my faithful former student. Are you ready to take a student of your own?”
“Trixie? As my student? Why?”
“Trixie needs to learn to be an alicorn as well as a princess. Both of which you can teach her.”
“But I'm still learning myself!”
“Learning a subject well enough to teach another is an excellent means of learning.”
“That's another way to do it I suppose.”
“Very good. Trixie being away from Canterlot will be helpful.”
“So I will have to stay in Ponyville for two weeks.” Trixie sighed. “I am getting to appreciate, that the saying 'May you get what you wish for,' is a curse.”
Twilight looked hard at Trixie, a smile slowly grew on her face. The smile disappeared before Twilight said, “Relax Trixie. Being Luna's understudy won't be so bad.”
“Luna's understudy?”
“Why yes. Celestia and Luna are the Diarchs of Equestria. Now that there are two junior alicorn, us, we can serve as their backup. I as the Senior Junior Alicorn will server under Celestia the Senior Senior Alicorn and you as the Junior Junior Alicorn will serve under Luna the Junior Senior Alicorn. Makes sense yes?”
Trixie was speechless until, “Are you kidding me? Princess Celestia and Luna are lauded as physical representations of the day and night. Look at them! Now look at me. Trixie's coat is the colour of the daytime sky!” Trixie passed her hoof through her mane. “Trixie's mane is like a clear lake glittering in the sunlight! Trixie is perfect to be Princess Celestia's assistant! Whereas for you, with your dark coat and mane, you are practically one with the night! You would be a most suitable assistant to Princess Luna.”
Twilight nods. “A cogent argument. But I have a better one that even I can't argue against.”
“Ohh, this I have to hear. What is this argument that even you can't argue against.”
“I call dibs.”
Trixie blinks. “D- DIBS? Are you... Did you hear her? Dibs! Calling dibs is for trivial matters! This is not trivial! Plus, I am pretty sure that these two would like a say on the matter!”
Celestia said, “Indeed. But that matter can wait. For now Trixie please go to Ponyville. Twilight and the Bearers will help you adapt to being an alicorn and a princess. Please be discreet. I would prefer that your being an alicorn not be public knowledge until we make the announcement ourselves.”
“Um, Ponyville and I have a history.”
“Diplomacy is a skill expected of princesses. Hooves on experience will do you well.”
Luna added, “Here, you will need a cloak to cover your wings. You can borrow one of mine.” With a flash a dark grey cloak appeared near the ceiling. With a telekinetic twist the cloak moved over to Trixie and settled down on her. Completely covering her.
Twilight giggled.
“Er, I can fix that. A simple reduction spell.” Luna's spell shrank the cloak until it fit properly. “There, that should at least last until daybreak.”
Celestia said, “Very good. Now if there is nothing else. I have things to do before I sleep. Good night ladies.” She opened the doors and left.
“And I, have a country to run.” She started to leave. “Oh! One last thing. I did not say anything before because I did not want to interfere with your ascension. Great things from you is a given. I expect more; I expect good things. I failed once and... did not do good things. I do not want anypony else to fail as I have. I will not let that happen again.” Luna got into Trixie's face. “Even if we have to give a certain pony a container of whoopass. Do we make ourselves clear?” Trixie nodded very fast. “Good! Fare thee well ladieeees!” Luna closed the door behind her.
Twilight said, “Huh. It seems that she likes you.”
“She does?”
Twilight nodded. “When I ascended she gave me her shovel speech.” Seeing Trixie's confused look, she added, “She wax poetic about how useful and versatile they were. Particularly memorable was how, in detail, they can be used as weapons and how they be used to dig graves.”
“That... is... rather dark.”
“She comes from a darker time. She missed centuries of peace during her exile. She's adapting.”
An awkward pause.
Trixie sighed. “I suppose it's time to go to Ponyville.”
“Um, well.” Twilight looked right and left. “Before we go... Can you show me your new spell?”
“You. Are. An addict.”
“No I'm not! I can qu-” Twilight grimaced. “Quenching a thirst for knowledge is not in any shape or form bad in anyway. Quite the opposite.”
“Well, if it's quite the opposite of bad. I suppose I could.” A moment of concentration and suddenly a large scroll the height of the room appeared. “What?”
“Oh! I forgot! Now that you are an alicorn, you are more powerful than you use to be. You'll be reflexively putting more power into your spells than you'll need to. You'll have to relearn how to use your magic.”
“Again!?” Trixie sighed. “At least it's from the other direction this time.” She shrank the scroll illusion to a more reasonable size.
Twilight read the scroll. “Clever. Your spell is sheer elegance in its simplicity. With the exception of your call on friendship. Could be better.”
“You dare criticize the Great and Powerful Trixie's spellcrafting?”
“I ah...”
“Relax, I'm kidding.” She dismissed the illusion. “I improvised that bit. I'll polish it up later.”
“You sure got me there. Um. Can I... give it a try?”
“Even if it's horribly flawed?”
“It's not horribly flawed.” Twilight smiled. “Medium flawed at most.”
Trixie rolled her eyes. “Fine. But only once. I don't want to stay here until Hearth's Warming Eve.” She put a hoof to her chin. “Then again...”
“Great! I'll just need to decide who to call and...” Concentrating her horn started to glow. A magenta sphere separated from her horn, it rose up. Growing, its shape changing into a pony. Its color changing to orange. Finally a double of Applejack was before them. But it was not perfect. It was staticky one moment, out of focus the next and wavy after that.
“-i is tha- -ou? I -pe tha- -er not de-”
“Applejack I'm using a spell to contact you from Canterlot. The quality of the message is disappointing. It could be the distance. It could be because that you're an earth pony. It could be that I miscast the spell. It could be that the spell is flawed.”
“Is not!”
“Wa- a mo-” Applejack's avatar started to walk in place, seemed to shoulder something aside then stepped down.
“There that's much better. Can you hear me Twi?”
Twilight gasped. Applejack's avatar was now perfect. “You stepped outside and are using your earth magic to strengthen the signal! Applejack you are a genius!”
“I have mah moments.” Applejack looked aside. “What do you mean whom am I talking to? Can't you see that I'm talking to Twilight's not ghost?
“You're not a ghost are you? Talking from beyond the veil?”
Twilight giggled. “No. I'm in Canterlot. Your family can't see or hear me?”
“Nope.”
Twilight turned to Trixie. “You?”
“I can see and hear her just fine.”
“Ohhhhh. There are too many variable to just speculate. I have to collect data, design and set up some experi-”
“TWI! You can be a mad scientist on your own time sugar. I assume that there was a reason you called me with your fancy new spell?” Applejack frowned. “How new is this spell of yours anyhow?”
Twilight extended her wings. “Very.”
Applejack face hooved. “We sure do live in interesting times. Anypony I know?”
“Trixie.”
Applejack stared for several seconds. “The great and powerful one herself?”
“Yes.”
Applejack sighed. “Dash'll flip when she hears.” She smiled. “Can I be there when you'll tell her? Pleeeeease.”
Twilight laughed. “You're a little too old to pull off the Puppy Dog Eyes Of Doom, Applejack.”
“Dang.”
“Still, do me a favor. Gather the girls for a meeting at the castle in an hour, no make that two. There's some news that you'll need to hear. You can watch Dash's reaction then. Oh and this is a royal secret so don't tell anypony what you just heard or even hint to the girls what I'll tell them. OK?”
“Sure, I don't want to spoil Dash's surprise.”
“And please tell Spike that we'll have a guest for a fortnight. Is there anything else? No. Then we'll see you later Applejack.”
“We'll be waiting.”
Applejack's avatar blinked out of existence. “That was amazing! This spell will revolutionize communications as we know it.”
“I don't know,” Trixie replied. “The spell as is can only allow somepony to talk with a friend. If it was with anypony, then I would agree. It could be a good thing that it can't though. I know a pair of ponies who would be certain to call everypony they can in order to sell them stuff.”
“We can talk about it later. For now, Ponyville! You still live in that caravan of yours?”
“Yes.”
“OK, arrange for your caravan to be taken to Ponyville. Get a sky-charriot. Stop off at your caravan to get some necessities. Then off to Ponyville. We have a plan; time to go home.” Twilight opened the door.
“Joy, two weeks at your place.” Trixie perked up. “Which is a castle. Castles have servants. This might not be so bad.”
“I don't have a budget for servants. But I will, starting next quarter. In two months.”
Trixie groaned.
“Relax, this is the first day of your new life. Things can only go up from here.”
Trixie groaned again. "This is totally not what I expected."
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Okay, I find it sad you actually stopped. I kinda would have loved to read an entire story focussed on Alicorn Trixie. There is so far only one story that has one. And that's Scolar's Mate And that story has yet to be finished or let Trixie interact with the Main Six. (With the exception of Twilight.)
You have a very interesting and humorous way of portraying the characters in this story. And I really hope you will write a sequel and that it's longer then this one. I kinda want to see how Trixie will deal with the place and the ponies whom life there where she isn't very liked. (With the exception of Snip And Snails.) Also whom is going to give Trixie fly lessons? If it's RD I can already see the disaster happening. I mean they both have such ego's that they will clash and doubt RD will have the same patient she has with Trixie as she has with her friend Twilight. She would be more harsher to Trixie then Twilight.
I would have favourite this story, but too be honest it's actually too short and feels unfinished. I actually would suggest make it longer, write about what happens in those 2 weeks all the way to the coronation itself. And end it with the ceremony. In other words don't write a sequel but lengthen this story with more chapters.
Also your title. "Rise to the bottom?" It doesn't make sense. "Rise from the bottom." Would have made far more sense as a title for how the story is so far.
Btw for a 1st story you have written here, I find it actually quiet good.
And I realize something.... you might have April fooled me.
Quite good, and an interesting development. No real writing errors to speak of this time that I could spot. I'd have written a few things differently, but everyone's got their own style.
I agree with 5806961 that there's potential for more story from this point. Trixie's just gotten started on this new stage of her life, and there's so very much more she can do from here on out. This story feels very much like a start, or even a prologue, to a greater story.
That said, I'm not going to put undue pressure on you to continue anything you're not ready to continue - that way lies burnout. Still, consider the possibility of taking it up later, because I'm certain you could. Or write whatever else strikes your fancy. You're the writer.
5806961
Intriguing, I'll have to think about this.
In part why I used it. More eye-catching. To explain: Trixie went from the most powerful unicorn to the weakest alicorn. In short, she rose to the bottom of the alicorn list.
5807622
Interesting though not sure if it's cannon wise correct. Let me explain in the brief moments of the show we actually have seen every Alicorn in action. And yes thanks to the Alicorn Amulet we even have seen Trixie how strong she is as an Alicorn if she ever would be one. Thanks to that we know the limit of what Trixie was able too. She wasn't able to cast duplication, chance a pony gender, etc. But was she able to do? Create a forcefield, Age Spell, Chance the entire season, Take control over someone body, Conjure objects out of thing air such as pies and feathers. Okay now that's settled. Let's see what we know about the strenghts of each Alicorn.
Well Twilight we have seen the most. Though as Alicorn we have actually seen very little. The potion to see the past, Flutter Bat/ chance your appetite spell, Breeze Transformation and the fight against the Tazzleworm are the ones that I can recall seeing her using magic as an Alicorn. Though off Screen we also know she has transformed gold into dirt alongside with Luna and Cadance. The fight against Tirek doesn't count because that was Twilight with the power of all the four princesses. Nor does the Harmony power count because that's an outside force.
The transformation spells are the most impressive ones. Though we have seen Twilight cast those spells even as a Unicorn. Remember the Orange birds and Frogs? Still the Breezy Spell is truly an epic one and we know from Magic Duel that even with the Alicorn Amulet Trixie wasn't able to chance ponies much. She was only able to fuse two colts horns, remove Pinkie's mouth and let one RD wing grow really big. A full transformation into another species is a really high level spell and thus we can safely assume that Twilight is stronger then Trixie as an Alicorn. At least in terms of raw power in magic. If it comes to skill then sadly I have to give that one to Trixie. How many times has Twilight bogged up a spell? Even as Alicorn she still unintentionally causes trouble with a spell she had cast. As was seen in the episode Bats!. Trixie never once has cast a spell without bogging it up. Not even in the comics. Every spell she has done did only what it intended to do without any side effect.
Next is Cadance, well what are her epic achievements when using magic? She fought a Tazzleworm by firing magic beams at it, created a massive barrier to protect the Crystal Empire from King Sombra and last with the power of love she blasted an entire changeling invasion away. The later we must remove because it was the combined love between Shining Armor and Cadance and not on her own. Love as is shown in the show is way stronger then the sum of it's parts. So that leaves only the Barrier and the Tazzleworm battle. The 1st one is impressive considering she had hold up that barrier for a very long time before even Twilight and her friends reached the Crystal Empire. However if you look carefully in Magic Duel you realize that sometime has passed between Twilight defeat and her rematch. So that means that Trixie has put on her barrier also some very long time. And Trixie didn't show any sleep depravity that means she was able to sleep and still kept her barrier on going. Then again she didn't had constantly a hostile force trying to penetrate it. But still no sign of fatigue tells us that Trixie is stronger in magic terms then Cadance.
In the Tazzleworm fight we see Candance and Twilight working together to defeat it. They were equally matched though there was a moment where you saw clearly whom of the Alicorns was stronger. There was moment Cadance got captured by the worm but it took Twilight only one energy blast to free Cadance while when the opposite happened it took Cadance several energy blasts to free Twilight. It's clear that in magic terms Twilight is stronger then Cadance.
Last that put the final nail to the coffin how weak Cadance really is for an Alicorn, is Chrysalis. It was clear that Cadance had been overpowered by the Chanceling queen. And since all her drones were outside the forcefield I must conclude that Chrysalis did it all by herself and let me recall you that it Chrysalis wasn't empowered by Shining Armor love when she did that. So unempowered Changeling Queen defeated Cadance. Now you might say but she also defeated Celestia let me recall you that in the show it was clearly shown that Chrysalis was surprised as well that she succeeded and how stronger she had become because of Shining Armor love for Cadance, as was shown in her facial expression and the lines she said. This means that before Celestia and her confrontation, Chrysalis thought she was stronger then Cadance but not Celestia.
Princes Luna and Celestia is very tricky to determine whom is stronger. If we purely look at the show then I have to say that it's Luna. If you look at the battle scene between Nightmare Moon and Celestia it was clearly shown that she was more dominant in the fight until Celestia brought forth the elements of harmony. And let's not forget that she also must have overpowered Celestia in the pilot episode of season 1. Then again the argument could be that Celestia never put up much of a fight against Luna because she was her sister. In the fight scene you clearly see Celestia trying to flee from Luna rather then confront her. But is this because she simple can't put herself up to fight her own sister or is it because Celestia knows Luna is stronger then her? Then there is the point that some claim Luna was stronger because she was Nightmare moon. But not once in the show it has been said or revealed that the corruption made her stronger. So that's only speculation.
Unless you bring in the comics. Though the show is officially the cannon the comics can be seen as Semi Cannon. What I mean to say is as long as the show doesn't contradict what is inside the comics (happened once considering the author of the Daring Do books.) then what is in the comics is cannon. So the show cannon always prevails over the comic cannon.
But back to the comics. If we use that as source material we get a clearer picture whom is stronger. And that's Celestia, Luna has trouble raising up Celestia sun and there is also a comic with Celestia and Spike where Celestia reveals she actually holds back her true strength so that others can grow and prosper. Further more I also may dare to say that Twilight might even be stronger then Celestia if we consider the comics as cannon. She after all defeated Chrysalis when she was fully empowered by the comet and Twilight was still a Unicorn then. So bringing forth all this data. I think we can create the following list from strongest to weakest Alicorns in raw magical power.
Only the show.
1. Luna
2. Celestia
3. Twilight
4 Trixie
5 Cadance
Inclusion of the comics.
1. Twilight
2. Celestia
3. Luna
4. Trixie
5. Cadance
(Though note we could in theory place Trixie higher on the ranking list if we include skill. And Twilight will of course get way lower perhaps even below Trixie. The Alicorn Amulet to my knowledge only enhanced the the bearer power not their knowledge and skills. In other words Trixie knew all those spells she cast in magic duel. But I guess that if she cast for example the age spell without the amulet she would exhaust so much of her magic that she wouldn't be able to cast any other spell and be drained out of magic for the rest of the day. In otherwords Trixie may not be the most powerfull in terms of raw magic but like she said in Boast Buster, Twilight could never compete to the skill Trixie has.)
5809347 You certainly put a lot of thought into this.
My thought was simply that as a newborn alicorn (so to speak) she'll start at the bottom. But I fully expected her to, after a few months, to surpass Candance. Once she got used to being an alicorn and after all the training she'll go through in order to show that she is superior to Twilight. Though, I think, that milestone will take longer to reach than Trixie expects.
5810628
Actually that could work, Trixie getting used to her new Alicorn powers. However remember that she already experienced wielding such powers thanks to the Alicorn Amulet. So leaking a bit of benefit from that experience you could use.
Btw. I highly recommend for you to read The Unchosen one, and its unfinished sequel Scholar's Mate written by MagnetBolt. You can draw a lot of inspiration in those stories for this one if you wish to continue it.
“And I, have a country to run.” She started to leave.
Hm. First mention in the paragraph, it took me a moment to place the pronoun owner.
Otherwise, I like it! Interesting idea. A little quick, but promising. As others have said, let's see where you go from here.
Not a bad story.
The shared mana pool could be use in some other stories.
Will there be a sequel? Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.
5989328 I have never considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily. I get my MLP fanfiction here and here is where I intend to post. I like Equestria Daily, I just don't consider it a source of fanfiction.
I had considered a sequel. An off the wall comedy called My Little Alicorns. But I set it aside when the request came in to expand this story. Unfortunately, I have only scenes not a story.
I have just published the story 'I'm Your Biggest Fan.' I have also a few in the works: Princess Celestia Must Die, Family Values and Mare Do Well vs Batmare.
Just don't expect them soon. I am a very slow writer. Though I am hoping to get faster with experience.
6028906 True, they weren't that bad. But I wanted to replace Ursas with something else, preferably something bear like. I wanted Trixie to replace one bear opponent to another, more impressive, bear opponent. Care Bears were ideal.
They look harmless. But with a dark twist, they become something that the princesses would freak over.
In my headcanon they pretend to become friends with their prey. Creating a mystical bond. At the right moment, when they have created as many friends as they could. They would use those bonds to suck dry their prey. Something I imagine would offend Princess Celestia immensely.
Plus the princesses freaking over harmless looking Care Bears is comedy gold.
I have to say, this strikes me as a far more solid reasoning than just creating a new spell. After all, Starswirl is mentioned by Twilight in Luna Eclipsed as being the creator of HUNDREDS of spells, while Twilght gets alicornhood just by finishing a spell that was started by Starswirl. Of course, Celestia probably had some Alicorn juju going on in the background at the time as well.
I absolutely ADORE the way Trixie is portrayed here. You deserve a fave from me.
Unexpected place to end the story...
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I wrote the story as if it was the pilot episode of a spin-off series called My Little Alicorn. I told the story of Trixie's new status quo, becoming a full fledged alicorn, that I wanted to tell and ended it off as if there would be more episodes. "Leave the reader thinking," was the writing motto that I was following in this case.
As for the secrecy, it was simply because Celestia wanted to deal with the subject without any distractions caused by, "What? There's a new alicorn?" would cause.
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What? It's been over a year since I posted this story? I better get off my lazy rear end and finish the story I'm currently writing.
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I meant why is Celestia keeping the universe's requirement for of alicornification a secret?
]...there is an off-site fic I should link but... I'm feeling lazy so I will just say it used to be on this site,(EDIT:The Great Alicorn Hunt I don't recommend most people talk to the author, but it is excellent overall. It influences my thinking on this subject.7133866
Ah. Other than her own secretive nature, I would guess that she wouldn't want just anypony to become an alicorn. Twilight had the potential and Celestia clearly does approve of her, so...
Oh man, I was tracking The Great Alicorn Hunt. I think this is the first I heard it no longer being available here. Bummer. Luckily I found an alternate location and there are new chapter I haven't read. Thanks for the heads up.
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My favorite scene:
'Plants vs Zombies'+"HOW MANY OF THEM CAN WE MAKE DIE?!"
It really says something when the act that finishes someponies journey to alicornificaton feels so much of a "cooling down" from what came immediately before that.
Anyway, for those unfamiliar with that work, the one of the ideas in it is that denying someone immortality is equivalent to killing them by withholding the cure to a fatal disease.
Haha, this is awesome!
Really an underrated gem.
I loved the voices, each worked very well and was easy to keep track of. The banter was excellent, especially between the sisters. The backstory and the rest were great. The... implications of what Trixie figured out have an interesting Pandora's box potential for a lot of ponies suddenly gaining wings/horns/both.
His was, again, really delightful. Very happy to have read it.
This was a nice read. I'm kind of amazed how a bottle scene can be this engaging, but all the kudos to the the author for the dialogue. Hell, I enjoyed the most when Trixie was telling a story inside a story about Trixie. Not to mention the narrative tells just what's needed to understand, but it leaves a lot open. I'd love to know more about what happens next, or about Trixie's mail with Twilight, or Luna's shovel speech.
Overall, amazing read, and my only regret is that I didn't catch sooner.
This is bloody fantastic on so many levels. I wish for a sequel. There's a quarantine right now, so no excuses!