[To the Readers] Not my most insightful read, nor my best, but it's good I'd say.
This was, in fact, a challenge fic. The requirements were to:
1 - Use one of the Mane Six
2 - Make people cry, or at least shed a tear.
3 - Make the descriptions so powerful that they seem real.
4 - No direct pony interaction.
5 - Under 10,000 words.
Bonus - Do it in under 24 hours.
Easy. I did it in four hours. [The editing is taking too long. I'm going nuts] The only problem is #2. I don't know if I've accomplished that. But...as I'm sure my challenger is most likely inebriated while he reads this, he's probably in a fit of alcohol-induced depression anyway.
[To my Drunk-Ass Friend] Next time, before you do something stupid, try to sober up a bit first.
P.S. You owe me some cheesecake. Chocolate Marble, please.
[Edit] The cheesecake's good, guys.
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Your usage of imagery and descriptive language really is quite powerful. You've done an excellent job in making the environment very fluid and real. I didn't cry, but it was disheartening. Good work.
I really, really, REALLY need to know whether the story has a good ending or not... I absolutely can't read a story that's both well-written AND depicts things I don't want to read at any cost.
563010>>563014>>563018 Thanks! I'm glad to hear I've earned my cheesecake
563098 Well, happy is a relative term. So happy ending? Yes, there's not. (yes and no)
563107 I hope. It's my goal to one day get something featured.
563111 That picture
A very sad story indeed, a good sad story. The ending also wasn't completely depressing as some writers think sad stories need to be, it felt satisfying.
563368 Um, yes thanks for pointing that out.
Is the cover image your work? Is there somewhere a bigger resolution version of it?
That's the first story I read where one of the younger sisters dies ... damn that was tough!
As for the writing: Excellent imagery. I would have expected a bit more flashback/windblown dialogue, but it get's the point across rather nicely as it is. One thing though - I know it contradicts the challenge - but I can't quite picture Rarity going alone on such an anniversary, especially on such a cold winter's night.
563405>>563733>>563486 Thank you I wish it were featured. Looks like that won't happen though
563765 It's not, unfortunately. I just couldn't find the artist to give him or her proper credit. The most credit I can give is google images.
564639 I meant for it to be. Though honestly, I didn't expect it to be this emotionally appealing. I was wrong
Thank you. Though, I could see Rarity doing this. I'm not sure if there's a specific reason, but I can.
566036 ...Perhaps it could wait until I've gotten my cheesecake?
595079 Thank you for that. And those, all three of them. I appreciate it!
This was a fantastic piece, made even more amazing by the fact that you wrote this as a challenge.
Even if I hadn't read a lot of your other work I would have watched you just for this one fic, I didn't cry but I felt like I should have been.
Phenomenal job, good sir
Well...
The language and vivid imagery in this fic is so damn good, that they kinda force reader to have strong feelings and forget that the story itself is pretty weak and generic. Seriously, I didn't believe this story for one bit, but DESPITE that it gives me the chills. Give me the chills BIG TIME.
That, dear sir, is quite an achievement.
This story will never become one of my favorites, but you definitely got yourself a reader.
Sorry for bad English and criticism.
1240108 Aha! Caught on, have we?
Yep, it's generic. Sweetie dies, Rarity is sad because she's at fault, so she goes to apologize. Eh, what can I say?
But hey, I still got my cheesecake. Mmm... But thanks for the comment my friend! It's much appreciated
Oh, by the way, can you name your best work in your opinion?
I am kinda want to start read your fics from the best.
Sometimes I like to sift through and find some older fics that have passed me by, and this one in particular caught my eye.
It was quite an enjoyable read. I didn't shed a tear, but you certainly evoked a chilling atmosphere. I loved the vivid imagery. Though the flow of the words seemed a little choppy and repetitive at parts. Still, you did a phenomenal job, considering the conditions of the challenge. Great work, thanks for writing this
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uGDA0Hecw1k listen to this during reading it