• Member Since 24th Oct, 2016
  • offline last seen 35 minutes ago

pokerninja2


Yes, my profile pic on a My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic fanfiction site is Petey Piranha. You got a problem with that, bub?

T
Source

A train accident robs Rarity and Sweetie Belle of their parents, forcing the sisters to live together. Now Rarity must put her generosity to the test: balancing her career at the Carousel Boutique while being the mother figure Sweetie needs.

Chapters (3)
Comments ( 43 )

Okay, this looks like an interesting start. God, I hope Rarity's up to the task. Being a parent's not something anypony should take lightly, and given the fact that Rarity and Sweetie really can get on each other's nerves even at the best of times, I can smell drama in the future.

8398104
Why do you think I added the drama tag? :raritywink:

“I-I’m sorry darling…” Rarity answered. “Th-they died.”

I think this is a bit to blunt for Rarity maybe it should be more like this:

“I-I’m sorry darling…” Rarity stuttered, the growing lump in her throat making it tough to speak. “Th-they didn't make it.”

Otherwise I thought it was good. Look forward to read more.

JackRipper
Moderator

Good choice in cover art. Glad to have helped out with this story. :twilightsmile:

8398260
You were perhaps the one that shaped this chapter the most, so yeah thanks :pinkiehappy:

I think this has a lot of potential, and I hope to see more.

8398558
I'll be sure to not disappoint.

... And my heart just shattered. Thanks.:fluttercry:

Oh, this story looks good. I always enjoyed the idea of Rarity being a mother-figure to Sweetie Belle. A lot of people portray their parents as being completely negligent, which I won't deny, considering their first appearance in the show was them dumping Sweetie on Rarity for a week. Anyway this story has already proven to make me feel, so I will surely keep an eye on it and look forward to more!

Kisah iki gedhe! Aku tresna marang perkembangan karakter lan cara sampeyan transisi antarane pemandangan! Deskripsi sampeyan digawe kula seneng lan Mugi sampeyan nindakake uga! Priksa manawa sampeyan ora sijine saus ing laundry!

8398566
so far im disappinted that there isnt a second chapter out yet I wanna know what happens next

8505522
Yeah my upload schedule is almost nonexistent haha.
Not to worry though, the second chapter is in development :pinkiehappy:

8511491
alright but i dont want to wait til 2018 to read the next chapter

Out of boredom I reread this chapter and I just thought of something. I wonder if Apple Bloom and Scootaloo will play an active role in Sweetie Belle's coping. Apple Bloom also doesn't have parents either (though it is assumed she was too young to remember them, so it probably doesn't hurt her as bad.) And many parts of the fandom write Scootaloo as an orphan, and if you were to do the same then she too would understand Sweetie's pain. Those to could be used to comfort her better then most others. The reason I say that is because many who experience loss won't want sympathy from others because they may mistake it for pity. However if Apple Bloom and Scootaloo are parentless, then they would understand her pain perfectly and she could accept their sympathy and comfort.

I'm not telling you how to write your story or anything like that, but that would truly be a good use of AB and Scoots. Anyway, I also noticed some impatient people wanting chapter 2 as soon as possible. I for one believe you should take all the time you need. I have high expectations for chapter 2 after just how good chapter 1 was. And if you take your time I have no doubt chapter 2 will exceed expectations.

8521160
They'll be showing up in the story, I promise that.

And yeah, thanks for being patient about the wait for Chapter 2. I try to write at least some of it down with each passing day, and eventually it'll be ready for publish. However, I'd be lying if I said that was all I was working on over the past few weeks, so I think it's slightly justified.

Were their parents assassins, or something?

Would add up.

Now what's next?

10138497
The wait was still far to long tho

Great chapter! More chapters please!

I’m know that I’m not the only one who wants this story to continue

10138683
You're not, but good thing you're in time for the revival

I was surprised to see a story from my "cancelled stories" folder had an update

10138837
Let that be a lesson to you to not make any brash decisions :moustache:

Nice to see this updated. Looking forward to more. :twilightsmile:

Great chapter!

Don’t you think it’s to early to think of forming a party? Their parents just died and a funerals hasn’t been arranged. The party should occur sometime after.

10153292
Well... that's Pinkie Pie for you. She's not really all that keen on things like this :pinkiecrazy:

Although, the parents' funeral is planned for a future chapter, probably next.

10153292
I'd have to agree there. I mean... timing!

Fluttershy Lepidera

Wait thats her last name?

10154943
I stole it from some other fic that I really wish I could remember the name of but can't... I liked it so I went with it :twistnerd:

10154996

:rainbowderp: Thief. Be careful I hear ponies like catching thief’s and sending them to Friendship prison for the rest of their days :trollestia:

10155013
:trollestia: “Ah, the saying that every villain always saids before I send my little student and her friends after them. Now to write this letter for your... life changing experience” :moustache:

10155013
"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE," said he.

And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that bilabong, "You'll come a-waltzing Matilda with me."

The fanfic is alive... which is rather ironic considering the content of the story. I know I'm a couple months late. But how could I not make a pun like that? (crickets) It seems the audience is dead on arrival... I'll just be quiet now.

Rarity Belle, Fluttershy Lepidera, I never understood the insistence on MLP characters having to have last names.


10155009
"Friendship Prison"? For a prison, that doesn't sound like a bad place to go.

reallly well written..

realy like it

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