"I hate it when they fight."
It was quiet in the afternoon. Peaceful and serene, really. A warm spring day that found Spike T. Dragon sitting outside the front steps of the Golden Oaks library. With his head resting in his claws, and his tail wrapped protectively around his hip, it was easy to discern the little dragon's mood almost immediately. Inside the noises continued- thunks and squeals and barks. He shuddered. It hurt to hear it, hurt to watch it, and hurt to think of what was going on inside the library. Fighting. Violence. Anger and hatred and pain all spilling out of the muzzles of ponies he loved. Twilight and Trixie were having it out. He had come around to Trixie, after the first few months she'd moved into the library with them. But it was only after that dreadful incident with the cursed muppet that Pinkie found, that he really came around to enjoying Trixie's company- especially after she saved his life.
And now? Now there were screams coming from the library. He squeezed his eyes shut and gave a shudder, wishing they would stop. Wishing there was something he could do. Anything at all, really. Just to get them to stop- just to see peace between them. The poor little dragon was so upset, that he hardly noticed the shadow that crept over him.
"What's gotten your tail in a twist suga'cube? Ya'll look lower than a snake's belly at in a ditch, " a cheerful voice quipped. Spike looked up and found himself sitting next to Applejack, who was smiling pleasantly down at him.
"Oh. Hey Applejack. I'm fine. It's just..." Spike explained but trailed off, not entirely sure if he wanted to drag Applejack into the vortex of despair swirling around him.
"Aww shucks. Ya'll don't look fine, what is-" she asked, but stopped, when a particularly loud cry echoed out of the library, forcing Applejack's ears to perk.
"That," Spike said with a sad sigh, shaking his head. Applejack frowned, and Spike jerked a claw back towards the library glumly.
"It's getting worse and worse," He explained. "They used to be the best of friends, and I-I just don't know what went wrong. Now they fight, and scream and hit each other, and...I...I just don't know what to do, Applejack," Spike whimpered quietly. Applejack bit her lower lip, a frown twisting over her muzzle.
"Wait, wait wait wait wait. Arguin' ah' can believe, especially with Trixie around, but hittin' each other? That don't sound like Twilight a'tall," Applejack huffed, trying to peer into the library. Spike sadly nodded his head.
"Yeah, I didn't think so either, but Trixie's made Twilight violent lately. I-I can't explain it. Twilight was bent over, looking for a book on the lowest row of the shelves, right? And Trixie just walks up behind her and hits her! Without any reason or anything! Just walked right up and smacked her on the bottom, " Spike whimpered. Applejack raised an eyebrow. Slowly.
"Err...Suga'cube-" she offered, but Spike continued, now that the story was coming out, he couldn't stop himself.
"And then Twilight turned around and called her a dirty little filly, and jumped on her. I'd never SEEN Twilight do something like that, and she started biting Trixie on the neck! They started rolling over and over, and I think Twilight was trying to pin Trixie down, but she couldn't get a firm grip, and Trixie just, s-she just kept hitting her, Applejack! She just slapped her on the rump over and over again and, I told them to stop, and I tried to break them up, really I did, but Twilight said she didn't want me to watch them fight and booted me out here. I know violence isn't the answer, but how can I convince Twilight of that?! I think she's goin' nuts, Applejack, and it's all Trixie's fault! ...Why is your face so red?" Spike growled, before tilting his head at the odd reaction he was getting from Applejack. Red-faced, biting a hoof in her mouth. Almost like she was laughing- but that was impossible since the situation was so serious.
"Ah...Ah erm...it's the heat, I reckon. Now, uh, Spike iffn' that's the kinda fightin' they're doin, Ah think ya'll just betta' leave 'em be. Ah got a feelin they'll work it out for themselves, "Applejack said quietly. Spike shook his head.
"I don't think so. It's not okay, Applejack. I was making Twilight's bed the other day, and I found this long black riding crop! It had the words 'Trixie' on it, and when I asked her about it, she said it was 'just in case I have to remind Twilight about who wears the saddle' I tried to tell Twilight that Trixie had a weapon, but I don't think she believed me. She turned really red and told me not to worry about it, "Spike fumed. At this point, Applejack had managed to stuff her entire hoof into her mouth and tears were gently streaming down her cheeks. Spike solemnly nodded his head. It was so horrible, it had driven Applejack to tears. This had to stop.
"I know, right? It's terrible. I gotta do something, but I don't know what. I was thinking, maybe we could get all of Twilight's friends together, you know, and try and stage an invitation," He offered, only to find Applejack wildly shaking her head.
" Ya'll mean an intervention, and nope. Nope, Ah' reckon that'd probably make things a bit worse, Suga'cube. Jus take my advice, and let 'em work it out for themselves, alright?" she cooed, but Spike was obviously not having any of it. It was cute, watching him so hopelessly worried about Twilight. Cute and hilarious.
"Why is everypony telling me not to worry about it! They're fighting! This is kind of a big deal! What if it gets out of hoof, what if somepony really gets hurt! I don't wanna see either of them end up in the hospital, and they're two of the most powerful unicorns in Equestria! What if-" Spike was interrupted by the sound of the upstairs window opening, and Trixie slipping her head out. Her mane was disheveled and messy and she seemed like she'd been running a race- panting and sweating.
"Hey?! Hey is that you Applejack?! Applejack! Applejack can we borrow your rope?!" Trixie called cheerfully. Applejack frowned and took a step back, peering up at the blue unicorn hanging mid-way out of the window.
"No ya'll can't borrow muh' rope!" she snarled. Trixie disappeared into the tree again, before she poked her head back out, after what seemed like a very brief conversation with somepony else
"Spike? Spike are you still out there? Spike go with Applejack, cause we're gonna be busy for a while. Applejack, can you take Spike with you? Oh, and Twilight said she'll overlook the late fees on that 'Ninety-nine dog tricks' book you borrowed if you lend us the rope!" Trixie hollered. Applejack glared up at the panting blue unicorn, before she gave an annoyed groan and reached under her hat for her lasso, which was immediately lifted into the air by Trixie, and disappeared into the tree house.
"That's muh good rope! I want it back in the condition I lent it to ya'll in. If it's sticky, or smells funny, I'm gon' be madder than a wet hen!" Applejack hollered, Trixie poked her head back out and stared at Applejack for a long few seconds.
"Trixie does not make promises she can't keep!" Trixie hollered back. Applejack gave a helpless shudder and shook her head.
"Ugh, in that case tell ya what, that's your rope now. Forever. Spike, uh, Ah' got some errands ta run, ya'll wanna tag along?" Applejack asked Spike sheepishly, whom was staring transfixed at the library window and rubbing his claws together.
"Suga'cube, promise me ya'll not gonna try an interrupt them. Tell ya what, Ah'll swing by later and give Twilight a talkin' too, okay? That sound good?" "She asked quietly. Spike sighed and gave his head a dutiful nod. Still, she could see the gears turning in his head, and she knew this was going to get worse before it got better. Regardless, though, that would have to wait. Right now, she had to go shopping for a new rope.
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That was a good laugh!
~TOOWC
Spike still wants answers.
Oh the innocence of youth, don't worry spike you'll find out when you're older. Or you could just ask rainbow dash, she'll probably fill you in.
Hmm... oh, one of your serious stories... well, they can be pretty good in their own way, I'll see what--
Oh.
Oooh.
You sneaky, sneaky minx. I'm proud of you.
Author makes reference to a story that sounds much more interesting then this one. ding! ...Really, the number of fanfics that put Spike and Trixie in the same room, let alone bother to have them acknowledge one another, could fit on the head of a fucking needle.
Ahhhh, the clever bastard is trolling Applejack. Appreciation for fanfic has been acquired.
Oh. Looks like I gave the fanfic too much credit. He has merely been retrograded to a Spike who doesn't know how to spell "brink" while Twilight has also been downgraded to an irresponsible slut who cares more about getting off than caring for the kid she's responsible for.
IMO, this would've been worthwhile if done with Sweetie Belle or Apple Bloom. Reducing Spike to a pre-Season One version of himself just to make your gag work reduces said gag from something with potential into something that falls flat.
5670589
Oh yes, I remember you, the person obsessed with the idea of Spike and Trixie. Yes, darling, the number of fanfics with Spike and Trixie could very well fit on the head of a pin. I wonder why that is...
5670845 Because everyone's too bloody obsessed with Twixie to give a smeg about how much fun Spixie could be.
Impressive that you wrote it so quickly! Yes, it's amusing. ;)
This is gold!
Oh lord this story's already attracted at least one Spike cultist.
Anyway, this was quite a good laugh! Thank you for that, Rarity.
man i'd love to see what and how AJ would say to those two lol
At first I was like :applejackunsure
Then I was like
But then shortly after that I was like
At this point my face was red.
Too bad Spike didn't get the lesson on the birds and the bees.
What he thinks is 'fighting' is actually something that involves far more romance.
Damn this was a good laugh.
Pretty damned clever, too.
as a fellow advocate of trixie and twilight having rough, neck biting, bdsm kinked sex. I found myself laughing in guilt.
5680352 WHAHAHAHAHAH
Well, that had me laughing.
That was the best comedy I've ever seen.
It's funny as hell, but the whole 'Spike is too young to understand Twilight and Trixie is got aroused and started having sex with each other' scenario make me
so hard....
....I shudder to wonder what Spike thinks then when it is finally time for him and the other Crusaders to intimately learn about the birds and the bees (and they will--more likely by accident or because none of the grown-ups didn't want to unleash such intimate information on them)
Still is worth an upvote.
6387354 Well, consider that this is the first time Spike's seen BDSM before. I mean, he's used to hugging and kissing to show affection, and this is violence, which he more that likely associates with anger. As such, he's probably thrown by the idea of being intimate can involve pain.
5674256
That should have been the ending of it. Truly well done.
6387360
Honestly didn't think of it that way. Usually when I see something like this, I can see the scenario--Spike is out of the house because Twilight and Trixie (who are marefriends--reason is not important) get horny at each other, they want to fuck each other silly but obviously there's a minor in the house, and can't have the minor around when things are gonna get dirty
Just as planned Applejack comes in, asks him what's wrong, and he responds with what he is hearing thinking it's a fight, where Applejack knows that they (Twilight and Trixie) have simply 'gotten busy'. Cue Applejack not wanting to show the honest truth.
So when you spun it to think that he's concerned that he really thinks that they are fighting, I have to give you some props. I can see you already know Spike has seen Twi and Trix as a couple, so what you added was that Spike just didn't know about some of the more kinky versions of sex. Thanks for that! And the upvote is rightfully deserved. I did get some laughs.
6391035 if you didn't like it darling, why extend the effort of leaving a comment that doesn't offer the author any feedback to get better? :/
6391037 Oh, okay sorry. Just a very old habit I had been doing well not to have come up again when I read stories that involves ships I don't like. I deeply apologize for that.
I personally think it would have been better if Spike wasn't portrayed as so naive. Like he has no idea what was going on, even though he should have some idea. And if not that, the fact they do this when they know he is around, and are so loud about it, makes me feel some kinda way.
6391050 As stated before:
Well, consider that this is the first time Spike's seen BDSM before. I mean, he's used to hugging and kissing to show affection, and this is violence, which he more that likely associates with anger. As such, he's probably thrown by the idea of being intimate can involve pain.
Spike isn't naive to romance, just young and inexperienced when it comes to pain=pleasure
6391053 Even so, they should take it to the room and put a soundproofing spell on. The fact they do it while he is right there, which I wouldn't mind if he wasn't written to be innocent, but since he is they should be smart enough to take it somewhere away from him or send him out on a errand or something.
6391069
Maybe it's the heat
6484366 Then by now they should know when it comes around to send him off somewhere so he isn't around for it. Since he is so young in this story and all.
6484417
I meant the weather, the heat makes you crazy bruh.
6484699
I didn't notice the comedy tag. This was flipping brilliant.