• Member Since 19th Feb, 2015
  • offline last seen Mar 29th, 2023


Just remember, a cactus isn't a vegetable.


While performing for the parade, the three fillies mess up really bad. They end up forgiving eachother, and try their luck again. Read to find out how they get their cutie mark!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 29 )

Okay, I love this story, but.... DETAILS ARE MISSING!
There is actually a lot more potential in this story! If you revise this story a little, it could actually be something good.
The idea is actually VERY show accurate, while also keeping it a fic and not a spoof off of the show.

Scootaloo just ran up-stairs and cried in her pillow. Rainbow Dash came in her room, and cleaned out her pavement burn with her first-aid kit. Scootaloo told her what happened and went to bed.

Where you said this, why not go into detail about what she actually said to Rainbow Dash? There is a lot of potential for this scene!
The story is very cute and I really like it, if you want some extra tips on what could be added and why, send me a PM, I'd be glad to help.

5650258 I agree, my story could use a lot of detail! Thank you for helping me realize that :pinkiesmile: I'll add some detail for sure! I just wrote that in 3 hours :twilightblush: I'll go improve!

5650267 Not bad for 3 hours, not bad at all! Thanks though for reacting so nicely to constructive criticism! Most people don't do that anymore, thanks!

5650301 Thank you so much! I fixed that scene a bunch! Your constructive criticism was very helpful!:twilightsmile:

Could use more , Well done , So much to work with in the characters ,,,,,

5650645 Thanks lol I like the picture:derpytongue2:

Wow, this is a really compressed story (a large argument in a short write).

Isn't bad, especially if you wrote them in only 3 hours, only need to polish some details (is this case, put some details).

5650733 I'll try, sorry I'm not the best at writing stories:fluttershysad:

Don't blame yourself!

Like a wise men said:
"No one born knowing"

5650797 lol thanks, I fixed its all up, and I think my editing made my story a lot more readable! I'll do that to every story before I submit it next time! Oh, and there's going to be a lot more stories coming!:pinkiehappy:

5657305 Thank you so much!:pinkiehappy:your stories look awesome too! I'll read some today!

I have two words to say about this story.

This...Is...Beautiful. :moustache:

5749015 Omg really? Thank you so much!!

5749015 thanks for the fave!!!:heart:

I really think you could do something here and it was beautiful the way you did it but there's only truly one thing I am against.

Paint too heavy... I don't exactly know if paint is too heavy but it can't be THAT heavy.

In any case you got a cute little idea here. My only advice is try being persistent, patient, prepared. Three P's necessary to making a good fic. If you are tired or writing tires you stop. Be sure to like writing when you do it. Don't force it. Take your time... and prepare yourself. Outline the fic and all.

5750880 Lol it was because applebloom poured purple paint all over the paper, and glitter. Sweeties magic is very weak, but on the second try, applebloom just painted a little purple on it. Maybe I should put that in my story XD thank you for your comment! But it's really fun writing, so I think I'll keep it up :derpytongue2: thanks for favoriting!!

5750913 Trust me writing takes patience, persistence, preparation. But most of all read a lot. A LOT!

5799028 Omg nopony ever comments on my stories anymore! Thank you:twilightsmile:

5799243 I only just found it.

5799260 Still, thanks for commenting:derpytongue2: did you read it?

5799265 Eyup:eeyup:

Rumor is that they get them in season 5.

5799281 I know i Saw! Something about defending Appleoosa:rainbowkiss:

I love it. It's awesome. You're awesome.

5803476 Thank you so much:twilightsmile:

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