Caverns & Cutie Marks

by TheColtTrio

Chapter 94: Tea n’ Cakes n’ Stuff

“A strange light fills the room. Twilight is shining through the barrier. It seems your journey is finally over. You’re filled with...” Wits End looked up, thrusting his forehoof toward the heavens, “DETERMINATION!”

“Would you relax?” Twilight asked. “It’s just tea.”

“Hey, tea is very serious business.” Wits sat back down at the table, watching the teapot in the center as it steeped. “Is it done yet?”

“It’s only been a couple of minutes. What kind of tea do you have in your world that makes you so impatient?”

“The kind that comes in bags.”

A look of mild horror and fascination passed over Twilight’s face. “Tea comes in bags?”

“Eeyup,” Light Patch said. “Portability and simplicity. The wonders of a world using mass production.”

Amber cocked her head to one side and peered curiously at the grey pegasus. “Mass production?” she echoed.

“Making something as quickly and cheaply as possible,” Light explained. “Bulk crafting.”

“Doesn’t that lower the quality of the item?” Rarity inquired.

“Eeyup,” Light repeated.

“Okay, stop,” Applejack groaned. “Yer not Big Mac.”

“Nope,” Light agreed. He shivered and winced under Rarity’s disapproving gaze. “Sorry. I’ll stop now.”

“Good,” Rarity nodded in satisfaction.

“Is it ready now?” Wits asked.

“NO!” Twilight snapped.

“What’s taking Purple Heart so long?” Rainbow Dash wondered. “Are they making out or something?”

Wits rolled onto his back, staring at the teapot upside-down. “With who? At this point, his lips would probably punch out the other pony.”

Twilight sighed and gave the mint-colored unicorn a shove off of his chair. “What are you, a child?”

“What are you, my mom?”

“Lay off the belligerent romantic tension, would you two?” Rainbow Dash groaned.

“Woah!” Wits shook his head. “That’s my mom you’re talking about! What am I? Oedipony?”

“Would you shut up?” Twilight growled.

“Oh look! The tea’s done!” Pinkie cheered. Immediately, Twilight and Wits quit their argument.

“You coulda said that a bit sooner ya’know,” Light Patch whispered as the tea was passed around.

“But it wasn’t done earlier,” Pinkie replied.

“...fair enough.”

“Seriously though, where is Purple Heart?” Rainbow asked. “He should be done by now. Defeated or otherwise.”

“Wow, your confidence in me is inspiring,” Purple Heart drawled as he slowly walked in from the balcony.

“You won?” Amber asked.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Purple Heart said. “It was tough.”

“I think the word you’re looking for is anti-climactic,” Light Patch suggested.

Purple Heart rolled his eyes. “The word I’m looking for, I can’t say,” he said, “because there are PG mares present.”

Pinkie glared at the earth pony. “Is everypony gonna make meta jokes now?”

“Yes,” Wits answered. “So, are we done? Did we do the thing and win the points?”

Purple Heart shrugged. “I guess,” he said. “We gotta find Discord so that he can make an Archway for us to get out.”

“Like that thing he made with Princess Celestia and Princess Luna on the other side?” Twilight inquired.

“Yes, that,” Light Patch confirmed. “The thing that we could’ve walked through to finish the game early.” The mares blinked once and immediately, frowns of displeasure rippled across their features.

“I think the realization just hit them,” Purple Heart mused.

“Eeyup. OW!”

“Yer not Big Mac. OW!”

“He’s my punching bag, not your’s!”

“Yeah! I’m her...why am I agreeing to this...”

“Purple Heart, can I speak to you for a moment?” Amber Glitter asked, stopping the argument. “Alone?” The purple earth pony gulped and nodded weakly.

“Balcony?” he asked. At Amber’s nod, he turned and walked to the balcony, Amber quick on his heels.

“He’s gonna die,” Light Patch sighed. “Ah, the irony.”

“Irony?” Fluttershy asked.

“Think about it for a moment,” Light said. “Purple Heart just fought his nemesis and survived. Against an uber-strong baddie, he won. Now, he’s facing his ex. He’s gonna die.”

“Is she really his ex, though?” Wits mused. “I mean, they were never really together in the first place. Not officially, I mean.”

Pinkie stared at Wits. “Are you saying the ship isn’t real?”

“It’s about as real as Just Patch.”

“...So 100% confirmed.”

“I meaaaaaan…”

Twilight stood from her seat. “Why aren’t we helping?

“Because the first law of friendship is you don’t put your neck between a quarreling couple if you like your head to remain attached to it,” Wits said. “I like living too much to get stuck in the middle with them.”

“Still,” Rarity mused as she poured the tea, “I wonder what they’re talking about…”

* * *

Amber wasted no time starting the conversation as they walked onto the balcony. As Purple Heart turned back to face the golden unicorn, she was right in front of him, chest to chest, nose to nose.

“Ack!” Purple Heart squawked, reeling away from the proximity.

“Did you ever have feelings of any sort for me that weren’t derision?” Amber ground out swiftly. “Are you even from this land at all? Are you even a pony?!”

“Yes, no, and no,” Purple Heart replied. Amber blinked at the prompt answer to all of her questions.

“Explain,” she ordered. A large sigh blew past Purple Heart’s lips and he resigned himself to his fate.

“Did I ever have feelings for you beyond derision? Yes,” he said. “Kinda hard not to. You’re very beautiful, have a keen mind, and are even capable of putting up with my obstinence. So yes, definitely feelings besides derision.”

“Then why can’t we be together?”

“Ah-ah,” Purple Heart waved a hoof. “One question and answer at a time. Let me answer your other two first, then I’ll explain.”

Amber twisted her lips into a grimace and sighed, gesturing for Purple Heart to continue.

“Next question answer,” Purple Heart continued. “Am I even from this land? No. Most certainly not. I’m actually two worlds removed.”

“...Wat?”

A snort of amusement erupted from the purple earth pony. “I love it when my ‘isms get used by ponies I’ve met.”

“Whadaheck?”

“I rest my case.”

“Stahp!”

“Kehehehehe!”

“Explain!”

“Yez, ma’am,” he saluted. “When I say two worlds removed, I mean that I came from one world to another, then this one. Specifically, Earth followed by Equus and then whatever this world is called. My original world also ties into the third question. Am I a pony… No.”

“So...are you a minotaur?”

“Nope. What’d I say about more questions?”

“To wait.”

“Eeyup. Anyways, I’m not a pony. I’m a human.”

“...A human.”

“Eeyup. We walk on two legs and have two arms which end in hands and fingers.”

“You look like Bael?” Amber asked, stepping back warily.

“To an extent. We’re not grey. Nor do we have strange reversed legs or clawed toes. We’re pink or black or any color in between. Not as varied as ponies. Hair color isn’t limited though.”

“And what does all this have to do with why we can’t be together?” Amber asked.

Purple Heart blinked. “I thought I just answered that.”

“Not really,” Amber shook her head.

“What about the fact that I’m from a different dimension that doesn’t use magic and is too scientifically stupid to make trans-dimensional portals. Yet. However, I don’t expect it to be created in my lifetime.”

“So...you’re going home?” Amber asked.

“Yeh,” he answered. “And in conclusion, that’s why we can’t be together.”

“Oh. O-okay.”

Purple Heart flinched and stepped over to the queen. “I’m truly sorry,” he whispered. “If I could stay, I would.”

“Then why don’t you?!” Amber sniffed. “What prevents you from staying?!”

“...”

“Why don’t you answer?!”

“...”

“Purple Heart!”

Damn. I can’t think of anything.

“Why-” Amber Glitter’s words were stopped by Purple Heart’s lips on her own. She stiffened for a bare second only to melt into the kiss. She poured all of her love and passion into the kiss, trying to give Purple Heart one more reason to stay. And then it was over. Purple Heart broke the contact and rested his forehead against hers, his eyes shut tight. Amber could see tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

“I love you,” he whispered. “I truly do. But I can’t stay. I’m so sorry.” Before Amber could reply, Purple Heart shifted aside and bolted off the balcony back into the ballroom, leaving the Queen of Roania alone, mourning her loss.

* * *

“And that’s why we use ‘carp’ as a stand in for cursing,” Wits concluded, sipping his tea.

“That’s… really weird and dumb,” Rainbow Dash said. “Why would you-”

The assembled ponies were interrupted by the sudden entrance of the purple barbarian pony. “That was fast,” Twilight said. “What happened?”

“We’re leaving,” Purple Heart ordered, his voice taut with emotion. “Now.”

“Why?” Fluttershy asked.

“Because if we don’t, I’ll probably stay,” the purple earth pony said. “Let’s go.”

“What happened?” Pinkie asked as they all stood to follow the fleeing Purple Barbarian.

“Said goodbye for good.”

“...Dude, are you crying?” Light asked.

“Yes,” Purple Heart replied stiffly. “Let’s go.”

Light Patch wrapped a leg around his friend. “I’m really tempted to start singing ‘Love Hurts’, but somehow I’m holding myself back. We should bounce before I lose my self-control, right y’all?”

“Aye,” Purple Heart agreed. “We gotta find Discord on the way.” He walked towards the door and broke into a run as he passed it.

“We better follow him before he gets lost,” Twilight suggested. “In his emotional state, he may take a wrong turn.”

“I’m not a stupid Marimo!”

“Obviously not emotional enough to not make snippy retorts,” Rainbow Dash mused as they followed after the sprinting earth pony.

Wits trailed behind the group; he and Fluttershy barely keeping up with the speeding ponies. “Why do we have to end this with so much drama?” he grumbled.

“I just hope Discord can help us leave before anything else bad happens,” Fluttershy muttered.

“Where is Discord, anyway? Didn’t he say he was gonna go bug Holdfast in the dungeon?”

* * *

“I spy with my little eye… Something that rhymes with ‘cruiser’.”

Holdfast sat in the middle of the dungeon cell, focusing very hard on not acknowledging the mismatched demi-deity standing on the other side of the bars.

Discord lowered his arms and sighed. “You know, this game is no fun if you don’t play.”

“I have nothing to say to you, beast.”

“Is that any way to speak to your metaphorical father?” Discord frowned for a moment before grinning. “It was loser, by the way. ‘Cause you lost. You lost haaaaaaard.”

“Don’t you have some other ponies to irritate?”

“Oh, definitely, but you’re the most fun. You know why?”

Holdfast turned his head slightly toward the Draconequus, giving him a side-eye glare. “I assume it has something to do with a ‘captive audience’.”

Discord snapped his fingers, given a simultaneous thumbs-up and pointing at the earth pony. “Eeeeeey!”

Holdfast sighed. After a moment, he shifted to face the mismatched creature. “Fine. What exactly do you want?”

“Well, the easy answer is ‘to gloat’.”

“I can tell that much.”

“But really, I’m interesting in something about you.” Discord’s tail curled up into the shape of a recliner, which he took a seat on. “See, when I made the three balls of villainy that would become you and the other members of Team Solid Fuel Booster, all I did was take a part of those colts and make it all… villain-y.”

“Fascinating,” Holdfast said dryly.

“I’m not done yet. See, I can understand why Purple Bruise’s villain ball turned into Bael, ‘cause he needed something that could actually almost beat him. And Patch Job’s ball went to Just Duty because he was already a good foil for the walking punching bag.”

“You’ll excuse me if I stop feigning interest.”

“I’ll get to the point then.” Discord pulled the end of his tail back, reclining himself. “The difference between you and Just Duty is that you were already a villain from your backstory. You had your eyes on the throne from the get-go. So, with your newfound villain status, why focus on Wits End at all? Why not keep working on getting the throne?”

Holdfast stared at Discord for a solid minute. “Why not both?”

“What is this, an ad for tacos?”

“Let me ask you this.” Holdfast stood, walking over to the bars that separated him from the Draconequus. “Now, from my viewpoint, I have a full history in this world. I remember being a foal, growing up in Roads Crossed and becoming a diplomat.” He tapped the bar in a rhythmless pattern. “I remember when my intentions were to make this kingdom the best it could be. I remember realizing that the king and his sons were exactly the corruption I had dedicated my life to removing from Roads Crossed. And then…”

Discord slurped a cup of carbonated sugary drink loudly through a crazy straw. “Sorry. I got thirsty. Continue.”

Holdfast chuckled. “Funny. Your interruption is exactly what made me who I am today.” A smile spread over his face. “I might not have always been on the side of good, Discord, but I had good intentions before you interfered. And thanks to you, those mares and colts will never know that. To them, I’ve always been a villain.”

Discord paused, straw hanging loosely from his snaggletooth. “What are you getting at?”

“Oh, now I’m the one being obtuse? I guess the irony just keeps building on itself.” Holdfast leaned his forelegs through the bars, ginning at Discord. “See, I might be a villain, but you’re the one who made me this way. I could tell that my intentions had… simplified. Darkened, if you would. And when I met Wits End, I could sense that he was the reason I was like this now.

“But now? Ever since I learned that you were the puppet-master controlling everything? I’ve learned things about my creator.” He tapped the side of his head. “A few stray pieces of knowledge from Wits End that got mixed in and knocked loose as time passed. I know who you were, Draconequus. I know that you were just as much of a villain that I am.” Holdfast pushed away from the bars, walking back to the center of the cell and taking a seat. “Consider this my ‘from Tartarus’ heart I stab at thee’ moment, Discord. You made me a villain, and thanks to you, I will never, ever, be redeemed like you were.” He turned away with a chuckle. “Enjoy your freedom, beast. Even if you write me out of this story, I’ll still consider this my victory.”

Discord stood. “I guess you really were a good fit for Wits,” he said. “Both of you really seem to enjoy using the end of this game as your final victory.”

“You set it up so well.”

With a puff of smoke, Discord appeared in front of the snow-white stallion. “Which is why I almost feel bad about ruining it.” He placed a claw on Holdfast’s head, engulfing the pony in a burst of light. “Sorry, buddy. You’re not getting kicked from the team.” The light swirled, condensing back into the glowing ball Discord had created the villain from so long ago. He ran his lion’s paw over the melon-sized ball, causing it to vanish from sight. “You’re just getting benched for the season.” With a sigh of relief, he walked through the solid jail bars and toward the exit. “Let’s see if those boys took care of the other two yet.”

* * *

With a start, Just Duty awoke to the feeling of his recent loss. He resisted groaning and instead kept his eyes closed as he slowly moved his body to feel out his wounds. A lot of bruises, some cracked bones probably but nothing broken. To think that after that fight, he would show me mercy; that he might heal me, or even pull his punches, Just Duty thought to himself as he laid in the bed. That he would not secure a complete victory, and allow me to awaken the next day. Perhaps there is much about justice I have forgotten? He snorted at the thought. Perhaps there is much about justice I am not aware of...

He frowned at that thought. I may have been created, but as of the moment we took power from Discord, I became my own pony. He smiled lightly, and finally opened his eyes to look when he heard the sound of something entering the room he was in. He found himself face to face with Silk Trap.

“I hear the fight between you and my champion was quite the fight to witness. I am sorry I missed it, but I was leading the fight to finish cleaning up the forces you and your compatriots lead,” the Arachcholsid queen said, striding to stand beside his bed.

“I will not apologise for leading the army if that is what you are probing for,” the defeated paladin replied from his bed.

“That is not what I have come seeking,” Silk Trap said, looking at the pony in the bed. “I’ve just found myself in the interesting position of being able to talk to a defeated foe. Normally they do not survive long enough. I found the chance intriguing enough to warrant taking.”

“You’ll have to excuse me then if I am not able to keep the conversation entertaining for you, your majesty. Nevertheless, ask away,” Just Duty, said shifting in bed to try and find more comfort.

“Well, is it true that you’ve been the mayor of a town for quite a while? A major pass for trade with other kingdoms, yes?” the Arachcolsid queen asked, clicking her mandibles questioningly.

“Yes, though I doubt that will be the case now. The crown usually doesn’t allow its enemies to lead its towns. Rebellions and all of that,” he replied dryly, prompting a chittering kind of laugh from Silk Trap.

“So, then what do you expect to do now?”

“Spend a lot of time in prison for my actions, likely. Amber is…” Just Duty paused, looking for the right word, “lenient, but even she has to draw the line somewhere, and I know she will likely be harsher on Holdfast than me, but I shall still face punishment for my actions.”

“It is a shame. You are a strong military leader. Your experience in dealing with multiple races in trade would be useful. Both skills my kingdom could use…” Silk Trap let her sentence trail off speculatively. Just Duty stared hard at the Arachcolsid queen for a few minutes before sitting up more and fixing her with a hard look.

“Are you suggesting that I quietly leave and join your kingdom? That I slip away in shame and dodge my punishment?” He felt his fury building, but found it cut at the root as Silk Trap raised one of her legs.

“No, but considering what has happened, I believe it’s safe to say that my kingdom and Ambers are now allies,” she noted. “It, however, has faced a hardship, and while larger than it used to be, is suffering under growing pains. Skilled leaders in both war and peace are needed.” She paused, allowing Just Duty enough time to find the idea on his own before she stated it aloud.

“You are suggesting that you could talk to Queen Amber and ask her to assign me to work for your kingdom as part of my punishment?” the stallion said, slowly turning the thought over in his head. “Do you feel you’ll be able to work with me, to trust me?” Just Duty asked bluntly.

“I do not know you, but my kin and I have learned of your actions. You are a just warrior, and I will keep an eye on you personally. Besides, I’m sure we share many things in common,” the queen said, her mandibles spreading in the Arachcolsid equivalent of a smile. “For instance, I happen to know one thing we already share in common.” The ex-paladin raised an eyebrow, prompting her to explain further. “I have been made aware of a certain grey pegasus we have both kissed,” she finished as she erupted into the Arachcolsid equivalent of laughter at the sour expression on the defeated stallion. “I shall go discuss this little idea of mine with Amber, and see what sort of deal I can negotiate,” she said, her mandibles clicking with humor as she left.

* * *

Bael sighed as he rematerialized in a poof of green magic on a ledge jutting from one of the castle’s spires. Pain pulsed through his body as he slid down the side of the tower to sit on the ledge, eliciting wince after wince as muscles and bruises screamed in agony. He grit his teeth in irritation, shuddering as he settled against the sloped wall. A small grin curled Bael’s lips as he looked skyward, settling into himself to let his injuries heal using the last of the Mismatched One’s power.

“I completed my task,” the grey being mused. “I antagonized and instigated personal growth within the Purple Earth Pony… Now what?” There was no answer to his question. Silence fell on the spire as Bael mulled over his thoughts and the previous events of his short existence. He was created by a god-being for the mere purpose of adding depth, danger, and mystery to a game of all things. Over the course of his task he’d created a legion with the singular task of carrying out his will, recruited ponies from outlying hamlets of Roania to fill said legion, infiltrated a coliseum to gauge the strength of his nemesis, killed one of his nemesis’ subordinates, stole Legionnaires from the Loyalists, and committed a number of other ‘atrocities,’ if one asked Purple Heart’s compatriots.

A cheer of victory rose from the courtyard below and Bael peered down at the celebrating soldiers. It seemed like his Legionnaires and Holdfast’s Army of Hollow Armor had finally been routed.

“They’ve won then,” Bael muttered. “Now they can finally return home.” He sighed once more and turned his eyes skyward again. Soon, he and the world around him would cease to exist. The game was over. There was no point in the Mismatched One leaving the world alone. Bael didn’t want to die, but there was nothing he could do to prevent his demise short of escaping the world. He paused for a moment as his thoughts whirled. A solution came to him and he immediately ceased his healing, preventing the last vestiges of the god-being’s stolen power from being lost.

“I can keep living,” he murmured. “Just not in this realm.” Bael looked back at the courtyard and saw the draconequus standing with the nine adventurers. An archway appeared with a wave of a clawed hand and the group walked through. Bael wasted no time in shifting his body into his original form, a green orb of light. With an eagerness born of desire to survive, Bael shot down from the castle spire and skimmed along the castle walls towards the archway. Just as it was about to close, he slipped through and soared hurriedly from the hall, ignoring the stained glass windows as he let the Mismatched One’s magic pull him to the portal.

He found it.

The Mirror. The Mirror that connected two worlds.

He wasted no time darting into it and into his new life.

Author's Note:

Authors: Wits End, Light Patch, Purple Heart

Comments

[Seeking Dusk]

So it's all coming to a close, huh? What will happen to the game world? We haven't exactly confirmed it... Bael spoke as if it would end, Amber, Silk Trap and Just Duty spoke as if it would continue... Well, I'll see what the next chapter brings, with one villain resigned, one 'benched' and one fleeing...

[Mix-up]

well things are warping up nicely now, I wander what will happen before the story is actually concluded. It was still a great ride.